- Shari -

"The domestic offender!" (Lorel)

Okay, now it's coming back to me.

That's the guy who told me not to be so rough with Liqu.

Which is quite the paradox, given that he would probably try smashing her core under different circumstances.

"Ehm, this is Shari, an old acquaintance of mine... You two know each other?" (Jacob)

"You know that person?! How can you accept her like this?! I saw how she hit this woman over there in broad daylight!" (Lorel)

"He thinks I'm handling Liqu a bit too harshly." (Shari)

"But that's okay! How else would I learn?" (Liqu)

"I... see where he's coming from." (Jacob)

Okay... All things considered, he might have a point that Liqu's inability to feel any kind of physical discomfort from physical interaction might be a dangerous slope to become less hesitant about corporal punishment.

So just maybe I should adjust my handling of her a bit.

"I understand. While I promise there are mitigating circumstances I'll try to avoid stuff that involves direct contact." (Shari)

"What!? No! Please not! I like it!" (Liqu)

This starts to sound weirder and weirder.

Even the guy who accused me seems to be at least partly at a loss.

"You can believe me, those two are very peculiar." (Jacob)

"That's, that's still no excuse for domestic violence! This is unjust!" (Lorel)

Okay, does he have a prior involvement in that matter?

Because I wouldn't have expected anyone in this town to be so much into stuff like laws or justice.

We're still in Ekoras, after all.

Meeting someone with integrity at this place is like encountering a dragon, or kirin, or while we're at it, a sentient slime.

"Where did you even get this guy? And I'm not just talking about the guild service, but more in general. He feels wholly displaced in this town." (Shari)

"Excuse me?!" (Lorel)

"Okay, you are excused!" (Liqu)

Liqu is apparently being Liqu again.

"Sigh. Is it okay for you if I disclose this, Lorel?" (Jacob)

"Do what you want. It's not like it's a secret." (Lorel)

One can say what one wants, but Jacob is at least considerate to ask first for permission.

On the other hand, that's the same guy who dragged Myra to that asshole groper Cid.

Anyway, while I asked out of mere curiosity it seems like Jacob is about to tell us something interesting.

"This here is Lorel Dimas. Fifthborn son of House Dimas." (Jacob)

"And as such, basically a nobody." (Lorel)

They got a noble!?!

Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

"If you'd allow me to ask, how does a noble come to end up in an adventurer group?" (Shari)

"Weren’t you listening? House Dimas is a small viscount house. The title and land will go all to the firstborn. The secondborn can consider himself lucky if he gets enough money for a good position as an official in the capital. The thirdborn might enlist in the army to show some family patriotism, the fourthborn should hope to survive till he's coming of age, and well, here's the fifthborn." (Jacob)

"It wasn't quite that bad. I received some formal education and learned how to wield a sword. Being an adventurer was one of the only options I had. Yet I encountered some difficulties while trying to find a group." (Lorel)

"Difficulties?" (Shari)

"Nobles, and this includes their children, have the reputation of being snobbish, lazy, and in general, difficult team members who'll challenge any authority." (Jacob)

"And you still took him? How nice of you! But you're good people." (Liqu)

Well, this compliment doesn't mean too much.

Her standard for this kind of assessment is not getting attacked on the spot.

"We didn't have much of a choice, for known reasons. We were in desperate need of a vanguard back then. Though, he proved to be a reliable teammate." (Jacob)

The guy in question nods appreciatively to this.

Hm, if I see it right he even brought his own plate armor to the mix.

I suppose he might be alright.

However, now I see a certain issue regarding our mission.

I should probably confer with Michael.

"Uh, do you think it's fine to talk with them about our mission?" (Shari)

"Might be okay. Not all houses are involved and he seems unaffiliated. Though, when in doubt one should ask." (Michael)

"What are you talking about?" (Jacob)

I probably can at least test the waters.

"We're on a delicate political mission that might put us at odds with several criminal noble houses. So I'll be blunt and just ask you if your dad is into slave trafficking and farther along that line overthrowing this country and while we're at it if you're supporting him on that matter." (Shari)

"What nonsense are you spouting?! My father is an honorable man!" (Lorel)

Hm, he sounds genuine.

Though, it's not like I'm an expert on detecting if someone lies.

Maybe there could be a trick to this?

"Just to tell you, it's more widespread nowadays than one would believe." (Michael)

"Not in my family! So stop this or I’ll have to demand retribution!" (Lorel)

"You're the expert. Is he being honest?" (Shari)

The spymaster should know best, right?

"It's not like I took his heart rate, but if he's playing an act, he's good." (Michael)

That's a thing?

Every day you learn something new.

"It's faster, but I think he's just angry!" (Liqu)

"Maybe we should later have a professional talk about making use of that sensory ability of yours." (Michael)

"If you say so." (Liqu)

"Enough! I don't know who you are, but you're leaving now!" (Lorel)

"Lorel, I think we should at least hear them out. We are in a business where one can't be picky with their contractors. They offered to pay us and we're not directly swimming in money." (Jacob)

"Why would I even want to work with someone like them? I saw how they treat each other! Who is to tell we'd get any better?" (Lorel)

"I already told you, there is an explanation! We have our circumstances!" (Shari)

"What kind of circumstances could justify your deeds?!" (Lorel)

Oh damn, fuck it.

I rip my mask off and display my face to him.

"Did you have to do this?" (Jacob)

It was inevitable!

"Wha-, wha-..." (Lorel)

And here it comes.

"What is with your face?" (Lorel)

Oh, right.

I still have the makeup powder on, which should hide that my head consists of slime.

On the other hand, it's quite wobbly and this goes even more if I stop controlling the matter to prevent this like just now.

"Is there an issue with your skin, for you to wear such an excess of makeup? You're looking like some of the most tarted-up nobles I ever saw. And that's certainly no style anyone should pursue!" (Lorel)

Seriously, this guy is truly not the most observant fellow!

"For God's sake, I'm a slime!" (Shari)

Now he stares at me.

"Sure... A slime. Right in the center of the monster hunter town! That sounds totally more believable than skin irritation!" (Lorel)

"Seriously! Then I'll show you the rest!" (Shari)

I start to work on removing the clothes that cover my body, beginning with my cloak and letting my “hair” down, then slowly but before I get anywhere with that I notice that this guy is actively looking away.

"What is it now?" (Shari)

"How can you act this shamelessly!? I won't look at you till you cover yourself!" (Lorel)

It’s not as if I’m taking my armor off, I’m still clothed!

That guy just has to make it complicated!

Idiot noble!

But how can I prove to him what I am without showing anything?

I’d rather not add the title of whore to his already poor perception of me, so I need to offer him a clear view of an acceptable place.

Namely, my face, which is currently covered in plaster.

As always, the solution is something drastic.

"Fine you win. You can look again, I’ve stopped taking things off. I'll instead show you something that I can do. But don't complain if you don't like it." (Shari)

The man in question looks skeptically at me.

So I guess I can act now.

Not like there's any chance for what I'm about to do to go unnoticed.

I slip with my hand out of my right glove and raise my arm all the way up to my head while preparing myself mentally for what is to come.

Then I extend my middle and forefinger until they touch my temple before I activate one simple command.

* Slime bullet!

With this, a slime projectile gets at high velocity expelled directly into my head.

If my head would be anything else but a structure that only exist for appearance's sake, I would have much greater issues now than just the cringe I experience.

However, as it's instead a mass of semi-liquid matter, the impact instead causes it to splatter in all directions after which I need a moment to rearrange everything before I can speak again.

"So? Was this convincing enough?" (Shari)