I would need time to process what has happened, if not for the fact I’m merely reflecting on my past self. But something is missing and I need to dig deeper. More parallel processing will be needed, this time my present and past.
…
Demi’s head craned beside Balor’s ear. “Hey. Balor. I don’t think she’s into you, might wanna try your psychopath rizz on someone else.” He prodded, flashing Balor a shit eating grin. Startled, Balor’s arm swung around like a spring trap, only to miss Demi completely. “What the,” Balor held his breath for a moment, before the back of Demi’s hand lightly slapped the side of his face. “Come on. We’re getting the fuck out of here. And Lynn, if Claive doesn’t come back to us by tomorrow I’m coming to shoot you in your fat fucking face, sound good?” Demi threatened with an idle nod, before he waved his hand up in the air, and let it fall towards the door. The scourge filed out past him, the door swinging open for them one by one, all of them holding the door for the other as they walked out. Demi was the last one out, and he stood there holding the door for me. “Why are you-” I began, though Demi cut me off. “Don’t be stupid man, just come on. You’re with us now.” He assured me. I walked out the door, one heavy step after another. It lands shut with a digital chime.
“So, Tedd.” Demi began. I heard a swingy tune in my head, or was it playing outside? The swinging bass like a pendulum, the ambient electronic buzz, the trill of the piano, is this music? Where is it coming from? It makes me feel alive! “I think it’s about time you tell us why we’re alive right now. We all saw what happened at the warehouse.” He asked me with slight hesitation. I could feel the wariness in his voice. He went from seeing me as some lost animal, to a threat, from just one event. I don’t want them to see me as someone who would hurt them. “I don’t know a lot about it myself, Demi. I promise I would tell you if I knew more.”
“I get a feeling you do, Tedd. Because Balor here told me a couple things. That power of yours, you can use it at will.” Demi pushed. And before I could speak he kept on. “We don’t know what it is, he doesn’t know what it is, you don’t know what it is.. and it killed an entire team of Killjoy operatives, and disintegrated a building.” He said sternly.
I felt something rising in me that made my blood run hot, and I stopped walking. “Stop right there, Demi. Listen to me.”
Demi stopped on command and turned to look at me, arms folded sternly over his chest. “I’m listening.”
I spoke in the words of the one who raised me. “I will only tell you this once. And this goes for you too, Balor. And any of you who think for one reason or another, I am lying or withholding information from you. Do not doubt or question anything I say from this point onward. You are dealing with a supernatural entity. You can die if you step even a millimetre out of line.” I instructed, doing my best to mimic that teacher's voice of his. But I didn’t measure up.
I took a long, deep breath. “I will be honest and transparent about my power and what it can do, and anything I know about it. But all I know is I can move things around, and… do things.” I stutter.
Demi’s gaze toward me as I spoke was so sinister I genuinely thought every word I spoke brought me closer to death. “Aight then. Don’t be fucking stupid with it and we’re square. I appreciate the honesty dude, I honestly thought you were about to lose it on me.” Demi replied nonchalantly, then turned and kept walking. And the rest followed, even Balor.
…
Of course I know nothing about it. I altered my own memories during the last period. There is no going back from that. Transparent? Really? A message to my former self, how are you going to be transparent with your power if you don’t even understand your own mind?
…
“Tedd are you dancing?” Shula observed, barely holding in a giggle. I hadn’t noticed but my arms were swinging in little circles while I walked, and my body was teetering around. “Well- No, I- I don’t, I-” Shula placed a hand over my mouth and started laughing out loud. We stopped walking, and I kept moving without even realising. “That’s gotta be the weirdest dance I’ve ever seen. What’s it called, Iron man?” Demi teases, standing in front of me and leaning down with his usual mocking stature. “I um..”
Balor cuts in, raising his finger up between us. “Let’s call it the blender.”
“Yeah, the blender.” Demi agreed, chuckling and turning away from me. But I needed to grab his attention again, so I spoke up. “But those people inside that building. They feel weird, like their nervous systems are all moving slower, their cognitive ability is lagging behind based on their movements, it’s not human.” The scourge proceeded to look at me like I was insane. None of them had words for me except for Balor. “Let me be blunt Tedd, what the fuck are you talkin’ about?” Balor instigated. “That strange compound flowing through their veins. Is that- Ethanol alcohol?” I ask hesitantly. It was odd to say the least, that’s not a naturally occurring substance in the human body. And I don’t see any reason why it would be beneficial to introduce from an external source-
“Tedd, that’s Zev’s. People go there to unwind, and alcohol’s pretty damn good for that.” Balor explained, barely holding in his laugh. He placed a hand on my shoulder, “Kid’s never been to a bar before. Know what- we’ve had a rough day today, let’s head in. Drinks are on me everybody!” He called out with his grand smile, and led me into the bar with a push on my back. As the glass doors slide open, I’m assaulted by a head-pounding noise. Machinegun drums, bass like bombs dropping on the floor, and the melodic scream of a chopped up song of ones and zeroes. It feels like my ears are going to bleed. I wish I could just see the world from outside this head of mine.
…
Forgive me for the interruption. By this point, it’s come to my attention that my story is being perceived by another conscience, possibly multiple. So I can talk to you now.
Consider this me saying hi, from a couple years in the future. If you stay with me and I truly do make it out alive, I promise you, I will make you proud. I will not disappoint you. I will not let you down. I will blow you away.
…
My mind was interrupted by the clacking of Ava’s snowy white heels, and her small hands slamming onto the only empty table in the bar aside from a lone drone speaking to another, she was inscribing his words on a small page. “Cade, what the fuck are you doing alone?” she demanded with such sternness I found myself frozen, and she wasn’t even speaking to me. The inscriber drone- with the pen, was rushing away from the table, clutching her notepad tightly in one hand, other hand on her mouth. Was she laughing? One green stripe on each shoulder, a Level 1 service worker. Her uniform was cut off below the chest, revealing pale grey skin down to her hips. “Didn’t think I’d catch you ogling at a waitress, Gearbox.” came Balor’s voice from behind me as he walked past, marching over to Ava before she could say another word. He placed a hand on her shoulder, “Ava. Care to introduce-”
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A snap rang out as the back of Ava’s hand cracked across Balor’s face, whipping his head to the side. A nasty red mark in the shape of her knuckles formed on his face, and a string of her curses overpowered the head throbbing music filling the room. Her clacking heels chased down the drone, and her nails dug into her back as she grabs onto her shirt. A terrified choke came from her as her collar pressed into her neck, lurching her backwards and the jealous rage stayed bitter in Ava’s curled brows and grinding teeth.
“You so much as look at my man again, I’ll fucking tie you down, rip off your discount nails and feed them down your fucking throat!” Ava hissed in the poor drone’s face. She reeled her arms up in response, scrambling to push Ava off her with terrified shock crinkling up that beautiful face of hers.
Ava didn’t let up. She swung her free hand into the drone’s stomach and sent her gasping for breath, then switched her grip from her shirt to her hair, nails digging into her scalp and nearly drawing blood as she dragged the choking and wheezing drone across the floor with swagger, hips swinging with grace despite her acts of violence.
She stopped upon the nearest table of five, whose drinking and laughing was interrupted by Ava swinging her entire body as she smashes the waitress’s face into a plate of french fries. “You bitch, you listen when I’m fucking talking to you!” She wrenched her head up then slammed it back down into the shattered porcelain, then again, then again, until the ketchup was mixed with her blood. “He is MINE. You touch him, you speak to him, you look at him, you fucking talk to him, YOU DIE!” She roared next to her ear, pressing her face harder into the table. She was about to keep going. She would have, too, if it weren’t for a drone’s set of tired arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her gently from the unconscious, bleeding drone.
“Hey, Ava. I’m sorry. She was just taking my order. I didn’t mean to make her smile like that.” Said the drone, his grip around her round waist loosening along with his meager confidence.
“Sorry? You’re sorry for making me do this, Cade? Why the fuck make me do it in the first place then?” Ava trembled. “I.. I hurt her. I wouldn’t have had to do this if you weren’t trying to make another girl smile. Even you said it. I’m the one who’s face you want to bring a smile to, because to you I’m the most precious thing in your world, so why!?” She clambered, tears welling up on her pale skin under her soft pink eyes. “Look, it’s really not as bad as you think it is. You’re overreacting, when is the last time you slept without your starry active?” The drone- Cade asked with a gentle patience woven into his voice.
Ava grabbed his sleeve in response and pulled it all the way up, then held Cade’s arm out for us to see. Covered in scars of many shapes and sizes, and his arm had so many ports and receivers on it I had to wonder where his blood flows. “Like you have room to talk.. You’re fucking wired all the way through. Fucking look at this you guys,”
How long ago did the music stop?
No more machine gun drums and ear piercing treble. Only the rapid pumping of alcohol through blood, and the disgruntled breathing of the many drones staring at us. One of them muttered under their breath, but loud enough to be heard. “You crazy wired bitch.”
His mockery was joined by another. “She’s asking to get executed. Doing shit like that in here,”
“Exactly. I’m already posting it myself.”
“Lemme share that too,”
Ava’s breathing became louder, as she stared daggers back at everyone looking her way like a cornered animal. Among the drones, the hearth’s gaze was most intense. The hearth stood at the back end of the now silent room, disco lights no longer spinning, so his short, side swept deep red hair and silver eyes were striking as they stared at us. All of us, not just Ava. He adjusted his collar, and swept his hand down the smooth black sleeveless leather encasing his top, with a rose pattern embossed into it. His voice clear and smooth like fine champagne, “This isn’t a good look on the Scourge. You know the rules, if you have a fight take it outside, and never lay your hands on my staff. Who’s taking responsibility?” He demands, placing down a pearly glass mug he finished shining, still warm from the soapy sink water.
Balor raised his hand as he stepped in front of Ava with her handmark still red on his face. “I will. I’m the one who brought us in, after all.” He spoke up. His voice faded into a concerned groan as he looked down at the waitress. “Miss, are you awake?” He asked her cautiously, placing his fingertips on her back.
A quiet sob came from the table as the waitress stood, blood dripping from her chin, eyes shut, her whole body trembling. “Easy now,” Balor warned, as he took her in his arms. “Head to the back, doctors will be waiting for you. This isn’t your fault, and Ava will be dealt with accordingly.” Balor stated bitterly.
“..What will be dealt with accordingly?” Came Shula’s quiet panic, cracking like kindling before the bonfire. She raised her voice as she asked again, “What just happened?”
Shula pushed through to see the waitress, face bloody, cut open from shattered porcelain. She didn’t have anything else to say. She took the poor drone’s hand and rushed her to the back, while glancing with silent rage behind her sister. She mouthed something to her that I couldn’t make out, but Ava understood just fine. Ava stormed out of the bar without another word. It’s rainy though.
Balor’s jittering hand clenched into a fist behind his back, half bitten off nails digging into his palm. His patience is being tested isn’t it? And here I thought he was-
“Zev. I apologise for this, truly. I can promise you we won’t be bringing her around again.” He spoke kindly, breaking the silence just before the tension in the room reached its breaking point.
The hearth, Zev, leaned over the counter. “Right then.”
Balor raised a finger, “Aand, drinks for everyone here are ALL on me for the rest of the night! Enjoy it while it lasts folks, this is a one-time.” He invited with a grin, turning around and projecting his voice through every corner of the bar.
The disgruntled murmurs quickly shift to a round of applause as the head throbbing music resumes back to full volume, and I realise I’ve been standing still, living their lives. I could have said something, done something there, but I didn’t. Why didn’t I? I just let someone get hurt. But last time I did something, I killed people. I’m not human. I don’t get to interact with them as if I’m one of them.
…
I expected this period to be a moment of further reflection, but it hasn’t panned out that way. Ava getting violent was out of the ordinary too. As far as I know, she is the passive one and Shula is the aggressive one. It’s out of character to say the least. I’ll keep my mouth shut and watch for a bit, and I won’t alter any more memories from this point forward. Something is going on that I don’t know about, and that’s odd because I know everything. These are my memories after all.
…
“Hey Tedd, you alright after all that?” Balor asked me, hand once again on my shoulder. Does he not understand how much I viscerally hate it when he touches me?
I smile in response for a few seconds, tilting my head over to face him. But the longer I look at him, and feel his condescending hand on me, the more it just pisses me off. My face decays into a frown. “Balor. Seriously? You let her slap you and then do that?” I accuse.
Balor looked to Demi and Kiara before answering me. “..what was I supposed to do? Throw her into the floor, pull out my gun and shoot her? Her boyfriend is right there, and he pulled her back before she killed someone. And I de-escalated the situation as best as possible.” He explained irately, gradually leaning into my face, before he paused and snickered at me. “You’re really gonna come at me here, Gearbox?”
I raised my voice and pressed my head against his, “My name is Tedd. Don’t call me gearbox.”
“Or what?” Balor responds quietly, pressing his index finger to my chest and pushing me away.