“What the heck was that?” I take a deep breath after waking up from the craziest dream. My eyes remain closed as I try to figure out where the hell I am.

My memory is jumbled, and my head hurts. Refusing to open my eyes until I can piece things together, I mentally run through the list of things I planned to do today.

- First of all, go to school.

- Then, take a walk through the city park, which connects to the forest.

- Kill the dragon that was shooting lasers?!

“Yep, I'm definitely still in my bed.”

“Again. My dream was gory and epic. Why can't I just have a calm, normal dream of hanging out with my friends or maybe making out with my girlfriend?

“Because you don’t have either of those,” my brain answers immediately.

Great. A self-burn, the best way to start your morning.

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Wiggling a bit, I can’t even figure out my position. Am I lying down, standing, or sitting?

I hear some muffled voices suddenly.

So, it must be class. This is embarrassing. Did I just fall asleep at my desk? Again.

I ask myself this and refuse to open my eyes until I'm fully aware of what's going on.

I decide to stay still, pretending to be deep in thought, just in case someone noticed.

I lean forward slightly, and my head starts to spin. “Am I losing balance while sitting?!”

The ground beneath my feet doesn't feel stable anymore. I must be standing, then.

I twitch and panic, realizing there's something squishy under my feet. Is it loose soil? I breathe in deeply and realize the noise I'm hearing is birds chirping, not people talking.

“I must be in a park!” But I don't remember the last time I dreamed outside of my bed—especially while standing.

*Quick blink*

Fear starts the shivering. I am facing a ravine. A bright, wide-open forest, full of beech trees, a deep ravine with a quiet stream at the bottom. I’m standing on the edge. My body starts to wiggle, and I panically look both to my left and right to grab onto something.

Shit! Nothing there at all. To avoid falling forward, I briefly decide to shift my weight backward and end up on my butt.

“Phew.” The only thing that got damaged are my beige sweatpants. Now I definitely have a stain on my butt, the color of soil. Brown and wet. Great.

But my appeasement does not last for long. The edge I’m sitting on is tearing away with me included. Nothing to grab onto, I start to slide.

“Aaaargh... Shit, shit, shit!” Cursing in anger is all I can do.

All I comprehend now is that I’m sliding down the deep ravine. Not worried about the fate of myself, but rather the clothes, belongings, and the shame while walking back to my place with my stained ass. My sneakers are drilling their way through the mud, occasionally tripping over the roots sticking out of the sloping surface.

*Splash*

To top it off, my fall ends with a drench into the stream.

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

I exhale in disbelief. “What a day. Nothing can surprise me now, seriously.” I quickly tap my pockets to check on the most important things. My keys and my phone.

Everything intact, at least. Except for the bruise I will definitely have from one of my keys that successfully buried into my thigh.

Confidently, I grab onto the first stick I see on the ground. It is stuck between the roots and the gravel near the water. I wiggle it out, while it splashes some additional dirt into my face.

I was probably never that happy to take a shower in my life.

To get out of this and climb up, I use the stick for support. No time for risking sliding again on my front side, having another brown stripe across me. Enough that I look like a reversed skunk now. I giggle at my own thoughts.

One step at a time, up the steep ravine, occasional grabs on the sticking crooked root, and I’m up. Quickly reorienting myself, I look at the path I came from.

But wait—I pause for a moment. What the actual heck just happened? I remember the wildest daydream of my life—an enormous dragon was laser-beaming people around me, and I killed it with my… ring? Holy crap. I look at my dirty hands, recalling how I’d seen the ring. Of course, I’m not wearing one.

This wasn’t the first time I zoned out, but not to this extent. I take it as a sign that I should start doing something about it.

Looking up at the trees, I wonder, “Is this what artists call a kick from the muse?” I should definitely remember that dream—maybe write a blog about it.

“Hell yeah! I should write this down right now.”

Temporarily storing the stick that I just found under my armpit, I flick my phone up. My dirty hands with soil under my nails barely unlock the phone. I swipe the screen over my not-so-flat belly, over my turquoise shirt. The fabric is linen, not silky smooth, rather coarse, but it’s not a big deal for my old weathered phone, even without the screen protector.

Opening up my Tasks app, I start to pound the dream I just had word by word.

A few lines in and I’m abruptly interrupted.

*Wild screeching* pierces my ear and creates a great shock to me. I’m stunned for a bit, yet by the pitch of the screech, I can tell it’s not anything large, like a giant bird or a wild boar And why the hell would such an animal even be here? Close to the city. I comfort myself.

Turning my head to the right, my eyes stop at ground level. Not so big, not so small either. Fluffy large tail, small paws with rather long claws, elongated body, and a small head. Damn. That face tells everything. This is not a marten, this is a little devil. The size of a regular cat, but with teeth triple the size of a feline. Angry at me as hell, staring into my soul, I can see it wants to tear me up in many ways.

Yet I’m not afraid. This is my melting point—those adorable circular tiny ears. “Aaaww.” I want to scratch it behind those with my index finger. Yet, looking back at its expression, I know it would rather bite my finger off.

*Sceeching and a loud bark!*

I start to panic and hide my phone back in my pocket. My hand slowly reaches for the stick I’m leaning on.

“Ah fuck!”

My eyes are wide open as the marten starts to sprint toward me and jumps. It claws onto my left leg, scratching and probably biting my knee through the sweatpants. Can’t tell in all the shock but I wiggle it furiously. It jumps back away and continues to screech.

Horrified, my voice trembles as I repeat through my teeth. “What the fuck! What the fuck!”

A train of thought flashes through my mind. “Yes, my mom used to teach me how to repel aggressive dogs from irresponsible owners at the park.”

I raise my foot and thump on the ground as strongly as possible.

*Nothing happens. And the aggressive marten is gearing up for another attack.*

Modern sneaker soles combined with squishy soil covered in autumn leaves are the perfect noise suppressor. This barely makes any sound.

Loud animal screeches continue, followed by the swift zig-zag movements of the marten. Or I guess it’s a marten, or a skunk? Wait, I do look like one now from behind, no?

"This ain’t ending well!" Says my inner voice.

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“But not for me!” I yell out loud. “You little fucker ferret thingy!” Through my clenched teeth, I start to scream. The fear quickly turns to anger. Dirty as a bum, now with a potential risk of infection from the bite of this thing, and the memory of the epic dream I just had is vanishing away as my short-term memory fills with this bullshit.

“Once. In. A damn. Year!” “I decide. To go. To the damn. Nature.” I angrily yell through my teeth while sweeping and slashing the stick on the ground in front of me about eight times. I don’t care if I hit and kill the ferret or whatever it is.

“I don’t give a fuck if you are a protected animal either!” I yell.

All I want is to have some time alone now. The bark on the end of the stick is torn to pieces, hanging there as I slash deep cracks and furrows into the ground.

At least it works.

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Finally, the thing is gone. It’s running away, probably from both my screams and aggressiveness.

I exhale and consolidate my thoughts, throw away the stick, and dust off what's possible from my clothes. Time to walk back and focus on the present, my steps, and surroundings.

I inhale the fresh air and listen to the dry and colorful beech leaves crunching under my feet. Remembering the dream.

My concentration doesn’t last long, and I start to wander back in time, winning imaginary arguments in my head and replaying memories. This keeps zoning me out as always.

Sudden noises in the distance wake me and return me to reality. “The footsteps?” I pause for a moment and imagine all the possible creatures it may be from the sound. Four strokes repeating while crunching the leaves.

“What else? The angry deer?” I wonder.

*Muffled voices*

"Now the voices? Argh.” I sigh. Better to meet the deer than people.

Two figures appear in the distance and are coming across my way. One taller and the other shorter.