“Please keep your hands on the steering wheel and put the car in park. I do not want to kill you, but I will.”

I complied, and I felt the weight against the back of the driver’s seat shift forward. A beautiful mane of blonde hair came into view in the rear-view mirror and I felt a hand reach slowly down over my shoulder.

“Hold still, I just need to get that shiny pistola from you.” The hand traveled down my torso and down onto my groin. The hand groped around until it found my hardening length.

“Whoops, that’s not it,” a voice purred in my ear.

The hand gave me a last caress before traveling back up to my shoulder holster and removing my New Vaquero. There was more jostling in the back seat and then the Farfalla’s half masked face appeared in my rearview, looking me in the eye. Her pistol, which I could now make out as a Ruger Mark IV .22, returned to its place at the back of my head. The .22 was a small round, but at this range, it wouldn’t matter. If she fired it into the back of my head, the round would likely not have enough velocity to exit my skull and would just rattle around in my head, turning my brain to mush.

I relaxed a bit. I had just cheated death at Green Shoal park and if the Farfalla wanted to kill me, I would already be dead.

“Now, we can have a proper introduzione. I am, as you may have guessed, known as the Farfalla. International thief extraordinar. And you, my handsome friend, are Agent Cash Renshaw, formerly a detective for the Alhambra County Sheriff’s Office and currently an Investigative Agent for the Department of Homeland Security, Metahuman Bureau.”

I tried my best cheeky grin, but I was so tired I am not sure it translated. “Are you asking or telling?”

“Oh, I am telling, mi amor. We will get to the questions in a moment. Your currently assigned partner is Benjamin Theodore Ruthersford the Third. You and Agent Ruthersford just completed a rather dangerous surveillance in the park behind us. Dangerous and unsanctioned. Now tell me, Cash, and don’t give me the bullshit, why were you in the park?”

Why was she asking about why we were there? Did she already know? She must suspect something. “Teddy and I were just taking a walk, enjoying the full moon. Then those crazy coyote monsters jumped us.”

The Farfalla brought the barrel of the pistol down on the top of my head. It hurt way more than it had any right too, and I thought for a moment she might have busted me open. She was way stronger than I gave her buck twenty credit for.

“Stupido! I don’t have time for your games. Answer my questions, or I will put a bullet in your head and be done with it.”

“Ow, fuck lady, OK. Jesus.” I leaned forward and rubbed my head. Based on what the Sleeper had said, it sounded like we were on the same team. Or at least the same side? I could give a little.

“We were there because we had information that Vanessa and the Black Mesa Clan was meeting with someone important. We think it’s related to a case with normal people being granted magical powers through runic tattoos.”

“Si, si. And the Dormiglione? You saw him?”

“That creepy fucker in the robe? The Sleeper? Yeah, we saw him. The Black Mesa pack is working for him.” I stopped there. I needed to keep some cards face down. “What’s it to you? He your ex boyfriend?”

Her eyes flashed dangerously in the mirror and I thought I was going to get another crack on the noggin. “No. I believe he has something of mine. Something that was taken. I am going to get it back, but he is dangerous.”

“Tell me about it. The entire pack was scared of him. He used magic to choke Vanessa out in front of all of them.”

“Si, he is very powerful. Now, last question and this is the most important one. No more jokes or I will end you here, just to be safe.”

I could only see her eyes in the mirror, they looked deadly serious. “Ok, I will answer if I can. No jokes.”

If you come across this story on Amazon, it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.

“Who do you work for?”

A thousand one-liners went through my head. What did she mean? Like metaphorically, or like who did I report to? I chewed my lip for a moment and decided that honesty was probably my best bet.

“I work for the tax-paying citizens of the United States of America and the great state of Texas. For them and only for them.” It was a little corny, but I could feel my heart swell a bit as I said the words. I was at heart a public servant, and I took that shit seriously.

“And Chief Northcutt?”

Now, I was really confused. “Is kind of a douchebag?”

It was her turn to look confused. “What is a douchebag?”

I smiled. “Literally, it’s a device that women use to clean their vaginas. I’m using it to mean that Chief Northcutt is an obnoxious guy.”

Now she smiled, and I felt like we were playing monkey see, monkey do. “Si, he’s a cretino. I like this word douchebag. Very appropriate. He stole something from me. And now I think this Sleeper has it.”

“It sounds like we are working the same case from opposite ends.”

“Perhaps. Your Chief Northcutt is an evil man. What has he told you?”

“Nothing, really. He has told us not to look into the Runic Tattoos, and this morning he told us to bring you in. At all costs. But he also told us that was coming from his boss. Director Barnum.”

The Farfalla chewed her lip in the mirror. It was adorable. “I do not know this Director Barnum. But Cash, I have something for you. I don’t expect you to believe everything I say. I am a thief and you are a policeman. But my claims should be easy for you to verify.”

“OK,” I said cautiously.

“I have in the backseat with me the things I stole from the Reliable Reliquary. I believe that Chief Northcutt got these items out of AMI evidence and loaned them to the douchebag Palmerson to rent out or sell.”

As soon as the words left her mouth, I felt in my bones it was true. My stomach headed for my boots. Northcutt was dirty? What had I gotten myself into?

I put my hands up and half turned so I could look her in the face. The Farfalla leaned back a bit and allowed me to do it, but kept her gun pointed at my head. “That’s a serious allegation. Do you have any proof?”

“Proof? No. About a year ago, Northcutt was assigned to the AMI New York Office. He and I had a run-in during a job. I escaped, but Northcutt ended up with the item I was trying to, uh, liberate. I wasn’t really concerned, because it was an extremely powerful artifact that had fallen into the wrong hands. The government having it was no big deal because it was too evil for them to use. I figured they would lock it up somewhere. The government is good at that, putting things in large rooms and forgetting about them.”

“But they didn’t lock it up,” I filled in the blanks. It was part intuition and part logic. “Northcutt never turned it in. He kept it.”

“Esattamente. I learned through some sources that he never even reported our encounter. That made some waves for him in New York, and he was eventually reassigned here to Texas. But they never recovered the dagger.”

“The dagger?” I asked.

Her brows furrowed. “It’s an evil thing. The Dagger of Jilayia. If you stab someone with it, it sucks up their life essence and turns it into magical energy.”

Another piece fit into place. “Farfalla. Uh, do I have to call you that? I assume your mother named you something.”

She smiled a bit shyly for a moment before answering. “You can call me Bianca.”

“OK, Bianca. When Agent Ruthersford and I were in the park, we heard the Sleeper tell the Black Mesa Clan to bring him thirty illegal Mexicans from across the border. He made it seem like he could complete whatever he is working on by killing that many people. Maybe he is planning to use the Dagger on them?”

She frowned again. “Perhaps. I think Northcutt gave the Dagger to the Sleeper and is working for him. Or with him. But, I have no proof. I was only able to learn that he was providing inventory to the Reliable Reliquary. Maybe it has something to do with the Tattoos you mentioned?”

“Maybe. The tattoos allow the people who have them to tap their own life force to do magic. But, it eventually kills you. The Sleeper had them on his arms, which makes me think he has found a way to get around the death part.” I slammed my fist into the passenger headrest. “Fuck! We are still missing pieces and we are out of time. The Black Mesa clan is planning on delivering the border crossers in two days.”

Bianca’s gaze smoldered into me. “My, so ardente! Do not worry, mi amor. We still have time. Take the items from the Reliable Reliquary back to your office. Do some digging. We will beat the bushes until the snakes slither out.”

She shifted her pistol to her other hand and leaned forward, pressing the gun lightly against my temple. I was suddenly very aware of how close she was to me. She was wearing the same leather catsuit she had been in the alley. It wasn’t shiny latex, but a more sensible, durable material. I noticed that it had tiny pockets stitched into the lining. It fit her like a glove though, and I appreciated the way her tiny waist exploded into broad hips.

She saw me looking at her body and smiled. “You like, Cash? I thought all American men liked, what do you say? Big titties?”

I laughed, part out of nervousness, part because that was funny. “A lot of us are into asses too. There are entire songs about them. ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’, ‘Baby Got Back’, ‘Bootylicious’, ‘Rump Shaker’.” I was babbling.

Biana stared at my mouth. She looked up to my eyes and made a decision, “Cash,” she drawled, “am I one of the fat-bottomed girls?”

I opened my mouth to answer, and she surged forward, pressing her lips against mine. I felt her wrap her gun arm around the back of her neck, locking me into the kiss. I wasn’t going anywhere. Her lips felt incredible and then her tongue pried into my mouth. She was very assertive at first and then gentle once I responded. Her hair smelled like vanilla and coffee, but her lips tasted strange. Like Juniper, maybe? Or like expensive gin? The fatigue came back like a rushing river, and I felt like I was experiencing the moment from the end of a long tunnel.

I awoke with a start. Alone. I rubbed my hand against my mouth and my lips felt a bit numb. Fuck, she Poison Ivy’ed me. I looked over in the passenger seat and saw a black plastic case. Inside was an amulet on a chain, a large purple gemstone with a flat side and an ushanka. These must be the stolen items. I closed the lid and looked at the clock. I had only been out for about five minutes.

I let out a long-suffering sigh and put the car back in gear and aimed it at the Walmart parking lot. I was really tired of women kissing me and then fleeing the scene as fast as humanly possible. Maybe I needed a new deodorant? Or mouthwash?

Teddy wasn’t going to believe a word of this.