I drove and Teddy read. I sipped coffee from a to-go cup while Teddy made various “Hmm” and “A-ha” noises. Eventually, I couldn’t stand it.

“What is it, Teddy?”

“What? Ah yes. There’s not much here. Just the police report, which is pretty bare bones as it goes. The rest of it is background material on the Farfalla and the Reliable Reliquary.”

“What kind of powers does she have?” I asked.

“No one knows for sure. We can only speculate based on her Archetype. We do know that she is virtually undetectable to most surveillance systems, both magical and mundane. She is an accomplished acrobat, a master of disguise, and has shown an aptitude for infiltrating computer security systems. It is unknown if she physically attacks these systems or uses more subtle social engineering to gain access, but it’s believed the latter. Especially since the thing that everyone can agree on is that she is a striking beauty.”

“So she uses her feminine charms to trick dopes into telling her their password.”

Teddy sighed. “Most likely. Although my guess is that it’s a combination of the two. She is extremely prolific and has never been caught. She has slowed in recent years. The prevailing theory is that she’s stolen everything worth stealing.”

“She must have found something good at the Reliable Reliquary.”

“Yes.” Teddy looked thoughtful. “Something about that is bothering me. The police report only lists the mundane nature of the items, but I have no doubt they are all magical in nature. We’ll have to review their records when we get there. It's certainly nothing I recognize as particularly valuable.”

“Hey, I got the list of items left to me by my father in his estate from my lawyer this morning.” I passed Teddy the folder.

“Ah! You did, did you? Excellent. I spent some time last night digging into your father. Jackson Renshaw was most assuredly on the government payroll in the eighties and nineties.”

“He was? Awesome. What else did you find out?”

Agent Ruthersford frowned as he started thumbing through the will. “That was it. Just some paystubs made out to that name. All the details were redacted. His case files are probably hard copy only and buried in the basement of the Pentagon or some such. Oh! Here’s something. Golden scissors. Do you remember those?”

“I remember my dad carrying them around. He had a special little holster for them, wore them like a gun. I should tell you, Ted, I have been dreaming about him since I started at the Agency. He mentioned the scissors specifically. He said I would need them.”

Teddy was silent for a long moment. I wondered if he had heard me. “Your father. Speaks to you? In your dreams?” He seemed uncertain.

“Uh, yeah. It’s happened twice. The past two nights, actually. We are in an old west saloon. He told me he was proud of my work in the alley and told me to use his old things.”

“He mentioned the alley? Specifically?”

“Yeah. Said I did it ‘just like he used to’. What’s wrong, Teddy? I figured this would be the standard mystical bullshit.”

Agent Ruthersford pursed his lips. “It’s not uncommon for the living to contact the dead, but for the dead to contact the living? And have recent, specific knowledge of the mortal world? That is powerful magic.”

“Hmm. Well, he knew about the alley, but he didn’t know about the fire. And it didn’t seem like I could communicate with him. I was telling him things, but he wasn’t really responding.”

“Interesting. Like he can only send one-way, pre-recorded messages. Who do you interact with? In your dreams?"

“Well, his ghost, I guess? His ghost seemed to be physically reacting to what I was saying. He looked upset when I told him about the fire, but then told me to use the scissors. Like he didn’t understand me when I told him that they were gone. What are the scissors, Teddy? You seemed to recognize them.”

“I’m not sure exactly. Something tickling the back of my mind. I have heard rumors about an extremely powerful artifact that took the form of golden scissors, but I can’t for the life of me remember what they did. I’ll need to do more research.”

We pulled into the parking lot of the Reliable Reliquary. “Well, we must do that later. Duty calls.”

“Indeed, it does.” Teddy closed up all the file folders and grabbed his notebook.

The Reliable Reliquary was a much more imposing building than I remembered. The entire property took up most of a city block. The primary structure was a two-story retail deal, but there were a few outbuildings. One of those appeared to be an attached warehouse, complete with a tractor-trailer loading dock. The entire rear of the property was encircled with a twelve-foot barbwire fence that several signs loudly proclaimed to be “highly electrified.” Not just electrified. Highly electrified.

My cop instincts immediately began casing the joint for a point of entry. The entire front of the shop was covered by metal bars and there was space directly behind them for a second retractable metal door. To enter, we had to walk into a heavily fortified vestibule. We could now not enter the store, nor retreat back onto the sidewalk. In the security and law enforcement game, we called this a ‘man catcher’. Teddy showed his ID to the camera and after a long few moments, the inner door buzzed and was opened by an extremely large man in an extremely expensive suit.

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

The 800-pound gorilla touched an earpiece. “Good morning Agents, we’ve been expecting you. Please have a seat.” He directed a tree trunk-sized arm toward a trio of comfortable-looking armchairs set around an antique coffee table. “Mr. Palmerson will be with you in just a moment.”

The guard’s twin brother stepped forward from the other side of the front door. “Can I get either of you gentlemen something to drink? Coffee perhaps?”

Theo looked at me and I gave him a slight nod. “That would be delightful. Two black coffees please.” He told the guard.

“Very good.” Thing One returned to his place at the front door. Thing Two buttled off to where the coffee machine was. They both were wearing sunglasses. Inside.

I sat down in the chair nearest to the door. On a whim, I took out my father’s glasses and placed them on the bridge of my nose. A small spring clamped them in place. My vision immediately changed, taking on a darker hue, like I was looking through polarized lenses. The interior of the retail area of the building exploded into a kaleidoscope of colors. Seemingly every item in the shop glowed with a weird ethereal color. I also noticed several glowing runes on the walls and some of the countertops. But the glasses themselves didn't seem to impart any particular knowledge. I could see the magic, but I had no idea what I was looking at.

Thing Two returned carrying a sterling silver tray with two china coffee cups and saucers. As he approached, I noticed a soft purple glow emanating from him. He set the tray on the coffee table and returned to his post by the door. A similar glow was coming from the other guard.

I was about to ask Teddy about it, but then Mr. Palmerson descended the stairs. He was wearing a cream-colored linen suit and appeared somewhere comfortably in the midst of middle age. His skin was very tan and mostly wrinkle-free, but his slicked-back hair was somewhere between silver and white. He carried a wooden cane but didn’t seem to use it to help him walk. The cane glowed brightly under what I was dubbing my “magic vision”, It was a deep magenta color that grew brighter near the handle. I took the glasses off and placed them back in my pocket as they were giving me a headache and creating more questions for me than answers. Too bad they hadn’t come with an instruction manual.

I blew on the coffee and took a sip. I shot Teddy an appreciative glance and he raised an eyebrow and sipped from his own cup and nodded to me. The coffee was incredible, even better than Teddy’s barely legal roast. We shared a quiet moment of coffee appreciation together before Mr. Palmerson approached, and Teddy and I stood up.

“Agent Ruthersford. So good to see you again.” He shook Teddy’s hand. Palmerson’s voice was as oily as his hair. I immediately disliked him. He made a production of looking around. “But where is Agent Donovan?”

“He has unfortunately left the mortal realm,” Teddy told him. I thought that was a weird phrasing.

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Palmerson effused. It was hard to tell if he was sorry or if he even really hadn’t known about Donovan’s death. This guy was slick. “This must be your new partner then, Agent…”

“Renshaw. Cash Renshaw.” I reached forward to shake his hand. He looked at me with his piercing grey eyes a moment longer than was comfortable. He then beamed, and we shook. His hand was cool and slightly damp. I immediately wanted to wash.

“Nice to meet you, Agent Renshaw. I’m Cole Palmerson, proprietor of this humble establishment. You have large shoes to fill. Patrick Donovan was an exceptional investigator. Top-notch. He will be missed.” He smiled at both of us for slightly longer than was comfortable before continuing. “Thank you both for coming so quickly. This is very upsetting.” He sat down across from us with his cane between his legs. “I never thought we would be a victim of the Farfalla. In fact, we have invested very heavily to make such a thing extremely unlikely. But here we are.” He sighed.

“Yes, quite unfortunate.” Teddy droned. “Can you please tell us exactly what happened?” He took out his pad and prepared to write. I got the feeling that old Theo didn’t exactly care for Mr. Cole Palmerson.

Palmerson grimaced. “That’s just the thing, there’s hardly anything to tell. No sign of entry, no breakage, or fingerprints. We wouldn’t have even known anything was wrong if not for the items missing from this morning’s inventory. All we have is a few ghostly images on the video cameras and spectrographs.”

“Can you walk me through the chain of events?” Teddy asked. He sounded tired.

“Certainly. We closed up last night like usual at 7 pm. My workers took the high-value items that were on display and placed them in the overnight vault. The truly high ticket stuff never leaves the main vault except for customers of means.”

Teddy made some notes. Palmerson took out his phone and tapped a key. “Fu, could you bring me some tea dear? Yes, I am in the sitting room, thank you.” He put his phone away before continuing. “Nothing was out of the ordinary. Everything was logged. I put the shutters into place and activated all the security. I retired to my upstairs apartment at about 9 pm and took a late supper. I worked until about 11 pm and then went to bed. Fu and I were the only ones on site overnight. I didn’t see or hear anything unusual.”

An Asian woman descending the staircase carrying another sterling tray with a tea set. She was wearing a jade green cheongsam dress with a pink floral pattern. She was tall and her ebony hair was styled up into a cobra bun held up with chopsticks, an orchid, and thirty dollars worth of hairspray. Very Texas of her. The dress really emphasized her broad shoulders and narrow waist. She walked down the stairs with the grace of a runway model, and I found that I couldn’t take my eyes off of her as she descended.

As the Asian assistant approached the table, Teddy and I stood. She ignored us and set the tray down in front of Mr. Palmerson and began to make tea.

“And this is Fu?” I asked. If she had been here last night, we would need to talk to her too.

Palmerson smiled. “Yes, Agent. This is Fu Zhang. She’s my personal assistant, bodyguard, and head of the security here at the Reliable Reliquary.”

I chuckled. “That’s quite a title, I hope you are paying her per job.”

Fu Zhang straightened, having finished with the tea. Her eyes sparked. Her iris was green bordering on yellow and her pupil was slit like a snake. “I can assure you, Agent Renshaw, I am appropriately compensated.” Her accent was British rather than Chinese. I hadn't told her my name.

“We’ll want to speak with you when we finish with Mr. Palmerson.” I met her steady gaze with one of my own.

“Of course, Agent.” She turned without another word and headed back up the stairs, taking the same slow steady pace.

Mr. Palmerson noisily slurped his tea and returned the cup to the saucer. “As I was saying, Fu and I stayed overnight in our apartments. Neither of us heard or saw anything unusual. We opened as usual. During the morning inventory, we discovered three items missing.”

“Where from?” Teddy asked.

“Two from the overnight vault, one from its secure display case.”

“What about your employees?” I asked. “Were they all accounted for? Who has access to the safe? Who has keys to the store?” The slow pace of the questioning was annoying me.

Teddy placed a hand on my arm. “Only Mr. Palmerson and Fu Zhang have keys to the store and access to the vaults.” He looked at our host. “Unless something has changed.”

Palmerson gave a slight shake of his head as he took another sip of tea.

“And I assume that the police forensics found nothing?”

“Quite correct, Agent. An utter waste of time. Of course, we couldn’t show them any of the magical security, but it hardly mattered. Fu can show you what we recorded and our inventory catalog. It was definitely the Farfalla. Her card was in the till sitting on top of the petty cash.”

Mr. Palmerson slurped down the rest of his tea and stood up straight. For the first time, his voice took on a hard edge. “Let me make things perfectly clear gentlemen, I mean to have my things returned. It’s of the utmost importance. If you cannot return my property, I will have no choice but to employ Fu in their recovery. If you’ll remember, the last time that happened, things became rather unpleasant between myself and the Department of Homeland Security. I would like to avoid that conflict, but my items will be returned.”

He punctuated his last three words with taps of his cane. He had transformed from an ineffectual goof to a man I was certain could manage a criminal enterprise. And just as quickly, he was back to the boob. “Please Agents, if you would follow me. I’ll take you up to the security office where you can speak with Fu and review what little evidence we have.” He smiled his rheumy smile and headed for the stairs.

I mouthed “What the fuck?” to Teddy. He shook his head and we stood. Thing Two was already coming over to collect our trays. I obediently followed Teddy and Mr. Palmerson up the creaking spiral staircase to the second floor. This was getting stranger and stranger.