“Midgard is a cherished land filled with wonder; under the watchful eyes of the tasteful lord known as “Odin”, the land has prospered without so much as a single war in the last sixty years. This isn’t saying much, because the land is littered with dragons – the kingdom has also had it’s fair share of chaos over the years. One of the most notorious was the legend of a jester gone knight; he is none other than Sir George Timenhook. He is responsible for saving the crazy princess that is Trixie; but her return to the kingdom has not gone unnoticed by another jester by the name of Loki. If Trixie isn’t causing trouble by harassing neighboring dragons, then it is Loki that causes trouble from within the kingdom. There are only two forces at work that can put an end to Loki’s troublemaking – the head warlord “Thor” and Sir George himself.

The current project of the day was to dismantle a bad castle wall and have it rebuilt the next day. This was no easy task, because the castle walls were made of an unusually thick and strong form of mortar from the land of ‘Bifrost’ and named as such. It wasn’t uncommon for bifrost mortar to stand the test of time for a millennia. Odin in his infinite wisdom had the castle walls erected of bifrost mortar and plans to have more imported for walls that will surround the entire kingdom. There is just one catch – bifrost mortar is nearly indestructible to all but the strongest of weapons. Thor was equipped with such a weapon, the exceptional hammer of the gods ‘Mjolnir’. Mjolnir was not an easy weapon to carry, in fact, being the chief warlord, Thor had at his disposal a powerful gauntlet to carry such a weapon; without it, the weapon would surely fall to the ground and would not be able to be carried by mortal men. That wouldn’t stop a one Loki, whom coveted the hammer for himself.

Early in the morning, the plan was set into motion; when Odin and Thor were fast asleep, the castle guards would be the only ones out and about. Castle guards have a reputation for being slow and dimwitted, so a natural cunning and ruthless jester would be able to snatch the hammer without anyone knowing.

Slowly tiptoeing through the castle’s many back entrances and the pantry, Loki is having an exceptionally easy time. But something about the pantry just couldn’t keep him from looking around. It would seem that Loki has a fetish for cheese, and made sure to dispense with his plans, at least momentarily while he grabs a sack, stuffs in such beauties as spring cheddar and hunky swiss, and heads off. If anyone were to see the sight of Loki, they might liken him to a very small, limber, yet tall and very wretched looking creature with pointed ears. He is clearly something of nightmares and is evil for all intents and purposes. He is not Santa Claus, and is probably closer to his evil cousin from the South Pole.

Back in the entry way, the door is left wide open to bang in the wind. Wind from bifrost at this time of year would send even the most hardy of men into a chill. Loki was hardly a man as far as men went, and continued his castle prowling until he found the armory. Loki looks around with his sly and keen eyes towards the weapon of legend that he is looking for, but it is nowhere to be found. In fact, most of the weapons and especially the hammers have been moved to the war room. Loki didn’t know it, but the king’s men were currently in practice in one of the larger and higher rooms of the castle. It was the explanation for his easy entrance to the armory itself; but someone else was well aware of his entry and knew all too well what he was after.

The howling wind would make most people wince; but a one Thor rigorously bathed in this kind of wind in the early mornings of the winter months. Thor was either a lunatic or man that wasn’t afraid to strengthen his own ideals and beliefs. One such belief was that Loki should be expelled from the kingdom for his pranks.

“Up to his old tricks again I see.”

Thor hadn’t muttered the phrase to anyone in particular, in fact, it wasn’t clear if he was talking to the castle walls or himself. He was standing outside of the castle’s back entrance, hands on his hips, and investigating the pantry door which was ajar. IF it was one of the castle’s men, the door would either be open all the way and bolted to the castle wall, or it would be closed completely. Thor had his suspicions when he noticed the pantry had also been raided. The foul stench of that thief’s limburger stench was unmistakable - Loki was not only here, but his stench of having not bathed for a few weeks was distinct.

Thor knew, he just knew – that swindler was after his hammer. Now he was worried, because his gauntlet was upstairs, in his room and unguarded. If there was ever such a way as a man to have the speed of the gods, Thor was the exception; the commotion throughout the castle caused even Odin himself to awaken.

The call to arms was quick; the king’s men were ready to ambush Loki in a heartbeat. They were all waiting, but daybreak slowly dawned and nothing happened. Thor was left just to scratch his head.

“But I could have sworn sire, Loki is the only one that would pull such madness at such an hour.”

Odin nodded his head in agreement. It was like Loki to raid the castle and have his way without getting caught. Odin stops dead in his thoughts, looks at Thor and then hurries to the window of the warlord’s quarters. Looking down with the vindictive wrath that only a king could show to an unruly peasant – Loki waves up at the king, complete with bag of cheeses of all types. The whole kingdom saw it, Loki had outsmarted the King, his men and the kingdom’s best warlord. It wasn’t going to be easy to explain this to the kingdom’s generals, army men and neighboring allies. Midgard had suffered it’s final humiliating blow – and it was all because of a jester that should have been sanctioned or at least kicked out of the kingdom decades ago.

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“Thor, I thought we had him under check.”

“We did, but that swindler continues to evade our tactics. I do not know how he does it.”

“He is a serious stain on our reputation, and he is also making us look like a laughing stock to the rest of our allies. Is there no way we can take care of him once and for all?”

Thor is at a loss for words. Loki was the one man that could outsmart even himself (Thor). There was no possible way that Thor could get his hands on Loki, and there was no possible way that Loki would just give himself up. Indeed, all of the ideas just came to him as one of his generals whispered sweet nothings into his ear.

Thor takes one look down at the general, and promptly slams his arm outward, sending the general into the wall. This day there would be no sweet and satiable ideas to quench his emotions – he would have justice, and he would have Loki sent straight to Muspell where he blonged.

“Thor, it may be best to mind your temper.”

Stern, yet true to his command, Odin would not have Thor undermining his authority in this situation, nor would he have Thor taking out his best war generals. Loki would be taken care of, true, but it would be done so swiftly.

Just then, one of the men comes running up to the entrance to the room and gives the look of exasperation and worry at the same time. Now something was wrong, and both the king and the warlord knew it.

“Sir, Loki is at it again.”

Thor and the king look puzzled at the man who is holding Thor’s gauntlet.

“What the…”

Thor couldn’t see it, but the gears were slowly ticking. The general that had been whispering those sweet nothings into his ear, was actually none other than Loki himself. The King and the warlord were clearly too engaged in dealing with how to take down Loki; which gave him the distinct edge that he would need to pilfer both the gauntlet and the hammer that he would need.

Now Thor was mad. In all of his years of getting tricked by Loki, he had never seen this jester get so far. He had been cleverly outsmarting the warlord and the king the entire time. Never before would Midgard heave such a sigh of this defeat; in fact, after this, Thor probably wasn’t even fit to call himself a man.

It was then that Thor popped open one of his eyes. His fist covered gauntlet ready; his hand shoots up and sends a punch straight through Loki’s bones, doing untold damage. Thor promptly gets out of bed, grabs the jester and promptly throws him out the window. Loki gives an, ‘aaiiieeeeeee’ before he plummets into the Midgard river.

“Annoying swindler!”

Loki had been whispering sweet nothings in Thor’s ear the entire time. How Loki could get into the castle without the guards seeing him was unbelievable to the warlord. He was however, up and on his feet to check out the kitchen. He had this strange feeling that Loki had been busy, but it hadn’t happened. The foul stench of limburger was in the air, the sweet aroma of beer was beginning to take hold…

Thor pops open his eyes once more as he finally comes to. In one hand is a mug and in the other is his hammer. It was the Dragon’s Hollow in, and Thor had apparently drank too much Asgard Ail this time around; he was out cold for several hours while other passersby either pointed and laughed or tried to disregard the drunken warlord altogether.

“This isn’t exactly you at your finest sir.”

It was Sir George, and he had been keeping a close eye on the warlord.

“Sir George, what are you doing here?”

“Have you forgetten sir? We’re here to discuss plans for ridding the castle wall of bifrost.”

Thor wasn’t quite certain if he was hearing this right. He looks over to his right just to be sure that Loki wasn’t there, whispering more disparage into his ears. As it turns out, Loki is nowhere to be seen. In fact, most of the tavern was slowly emptying as the midnight hour approached.

“Where is Loki?”

“No idea sir.”

It was then that there was a whiny and a loud thud outside. Thor and Sir George are immediately to their feet as they head to the door and see an interesting sight.

Flail, Sir George’s fine beast of a pet, and hungriest horse in the land – was busy letting out laughed whinnies at a one Loki, whom was shuddering and jolting his hand. Flail had caught the swindler himself trying to take one of his favorite treats – Oat Pie. Sir George was left to gasp with his hand to his head, and Thor was left with his hand at his side and his other hammer hand at the read.

Loki lets out a dismay of ‘help’ at Sir George.

Sir George looks at flail, and his horse just gives him that look of innocence.

“Aren’t you going to call him off?”

Sir George looks up at the warlord, and tilts his head.

“We’re we discussing the best method to undo bifrost’s hold on the castle wall?”

“I do believe we were.”

And with that, both Thor and Sir George turn back to the tavern while a familiar horse whinnies to his horse’s content; this was the best seat in the house to deliver a crushing blow to Midgard’s most famous jester. Never before would Loki have been thought to suffer a humiliating defeat, but perhaps this time he would learn his lesson.

Don’t mess with Midgard’s best – and most certainly don’t come between a horse and his undying hunger – otherwise you’ll live up to his (the horse) name, by flailing your arms under his crushing girth.