The happy thrupple relaxed in a sweaty spread across their enormous bed. Blank eyes looked around at the celebratory buntings and paintings decorating the room. They saw without seeing, all lost in their own heads.

“I’m Xia now. I’m not…” Gentian remembered the taboo about her old family name. “I’m not who I was this morning. I’m Xia Gentian. Concubine to Xiatokja and Xiatoktok, two of the most powerful business leaders in the entire Northwest.” She murmured. “I am lying in a bed the size of the cabin I was born in, stuffed with more cotton than I knew existed in Cold Garden. On sheets of finest woodsilk.” She wiggled a little bit, the smile spilling across her face.

“You are. We had the bed made once we knew you were joining us.” Xiatokja said with a little smile of her own.

“A bald lie. ’Ja had it made. I found out about it when we came home from the ceremony. I just acted naturally to keep the mood going.” ’Tok had covered his eyes with his arm. He was in excellent shape for his age, but he still needed more than a minute after all that.

“Well, I like it.” Gentian giggled. “Here’s to many happy days and nights on it.”

’Tok and ’Ja both laughed and cheered with her.

“Though there won’t be a honeymoon, more’s the pity. Too much madness going on to slip away.” ’Ja grumbled.

Gentian tsked and pressed a finger to ’Ja’s lips. “Only happy talk tonight. Worries are for tomorrow.”

The thrupple went quiet for a bit longer, then ’Ja piped up again. “You two look really good together.”

“We do?” ’Tok asked.

“Mmm. But I’ll admit I got jealous too.” She looked over at ’Tok. “It’s your fault. You used to give me all your attention. Now you give it to Gentian. I felt like I had to get it back. Reclaim you.”

“Oh gods.” ’Tok groaned and threw his arm over his eyes. His smile was mischievous.

“Oh you love it.” ’Ja gently swatted him. “I think this may be a new fantasy to explore. The beautiful young concubine, my own creation, stealing my husband away from me. But she’s so pretty. She’s seduced me too. Does she really want him, or is the little gold digger after our money?” ’Ja closed her eyes and started softly twisting her hips. “I’ll have to keep her away from you. But I can’t. I made sure she was right by your side. And she makes me feel so weak.”

Gentian propped herself up and leaned over ’Ja, her brilliant red hair falling like a copper curtain around their faces. She leaned in and leisurely kissed ’Ja. “I won’t steal him from you. “Stealing” means he isn’t already mine. But he is. Mine. You made so sure of that. Don’t worry. I will give you lots of attention. The more he ignores you, the more helpless you will be for me. In the end, you won’t even want him to fuck you. You know he deserves the best. And you made sure it was me.” Gentian dropped in for another kiss. ’Ja growled and tackled her.

“I’m feeling kind of jealous too, actually.” ’Tok thought, watching his wife and concubine going at each other. “But somehow, I think I’ll get over it. I hope.”

The next morning saw a third chair added to their breakfast table. Grapefruit sprinkled with sugar was an incredible novelty to Gentian, and her scrunched up face was adorable. The sourness was a bit much, it seemed. The sheer opulence of the breakfast drove her to eat another spoonful.

“Don’t force yourself dear. If you don’t like it, have a skillet bread with butter and honey. That’s sweet enough for anyone.” ’Ja mothered their concubine warmly.

“Thank you, Mistress, but you and the Master love grapefruit, so I want to learn to love it too.”

“Wait, what did you call us?” ’Tok was startled.

“Master and Mistress. We needed to establish a family hierarchy, and Master, Mistress and Concubine is traditional. There is a table of titles in the back of the pamphlet. Concubine is actually right up at the top.” ’Ja said mildly, as Gentian nodded along. “You probably just skimmed that section.”

“Right.” ’Tok agreed.

There was a moment of silence as he busied himself with his grapefruit.

“You didn’t read the pamphlet did you? Or any of the books I left out.” ’Ja stared daggers at him.

“I did not. I was deliberately avoiding thinking about things, and reading up on it wasn’t going to help. Also I am incredibly against the terms “Master” and “Mistress.””

“What’s wrong with them? Totally traditional and an accurate description of our roles in the household.” ’Ja looked irritated.

“Because it’s loaded up with a lot of other stuff as you know perfectly well.” ’Tok wasn’t going to budge on this. “It sets up a completely unsustainable hierarchy. I won’t structure a family on oppression.”

“First, we are Xia. You are epochs too late to get your way on that one. Second, the arrangement has worked for millions of other families for, again, epochs. Third, any attempt to make some sort of non-hierarchical arrangement here is only going to hurt all of us, Gentian included.” ’ Ja wasn’t going to budge either.

“Oh I know all that! I just don’t want to haul the cultural baggage in with the necessary hierarchy.”

They looked hard across the table at each other.

“Your problem is just the names, not the concepts.”

“Yes.”

“You will read the pamphlet I had specially compiled.”

“Yes.”

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“Would “Lord Husband” and “Lord Wife” be acceptable?”

’Tok hesitated. On the one hand, he cheerfully despised the petty despots calling themselves “Lord” or claiming that their genealogy made them some kind of superior person. On the other hand, he was a superior person due to his genealogy. So…

“It would be “Lady Wife.” “Lord” is for the masculine gender.”

“No it isn’t. “Lord” is an aristocratic rank, and a vague one at that.”

“I’m afraid it is. The correct term would be “Lady wife.”

“That’s, at best, redundant. Also there are lots of ladies who aren’t Ladies. Almost all of them. The term is so misleading, it’s useless.”

“And yet. Our language has gendered titles. If I need to accept some things, so do you.”

“No wait, this is too dumb. What do they do for non-gendered people?”

“Force them to be performatively male or female, usually. My dear Lady Wife.”

“Oh hell. I will research better terms that aren’t “Lord Husband” and “Master,” alright? But in the meantime… I will go with it as long as you promise to use titles in public and at the table. In bed or at play, we can be a little more informal.”

“Mmm. Well, I won’t fight you on that, but I’m going to revisit it if it gets too irritating.”

“Fine.” ’Ja sulked a bit. “Pass the sugar, dear.”

Both Gentian and ’Tok reached for the sugar bowl, looked at each other, and started laughing. ’Ja finally cracked a smile herself.

“Oh, that reminds me. We need to make you independently wealthy.” ’Tok looked over at Gentian.

“Passing your Lady Wife the sugar reminded you to make your Concubine rich?” Gentian asked.

“Well, we are sharing the sweetness, aren’t we?”

“My Lord Husband is quite right. Gimme.”

“Manners.” ‘’Ja said.

“Sorry, Lady Wife. I got excited.”

“You were acting cute, and you are entirely cute enough.” ’Ja scolded mildly. “Want to tell her now? It is going to be a whole… thing explaining everything.”

“Let’s get her introduced now, and then I’ll have someone from the bank walk her through the details. If she has more questions, she can ask tonight at dinner.”

“Good. I want to see her face when she realizes what we are giving her.” ’Ja grinned. Gentian was looking back and forth between them, anxious to ask but hanging on to her manners with her fingernails.

“You start.”

“Gladly. Because my gift is also a little bit of a gift for you too, dear.” ’Ja’s smile was devious, with a hint of malicious victory in it as well. “A controlling interest in a rising force in the commercial grain market. Leveraged to the hilt, I’m afraid, but with shockingly good loan terms.”

’Ja looked ’Tok dead in the eye, then slid her gaze back to Gentian. “A&I Mercentaile. I bought the Clan’s interest out within an hour of their new credit line being offered.”

’Tok laughed. “Just how many people did you slip into my secretarial pool?”

“About half as many as you slipped into my greenhouses.”

“Can’t be that many, my pool isn’t that big.”

Gentian looked like she was about to explode with questions.

“Go ahead and ask, I’m sure you have a lot of questions.” ’Tok nodded at her.

“Thank you! Sorry, did you say I own A&I Mercantile? The ones who bought up all those mills?”

“Yes, them. I was planning on doing something… creatively unpleasant to their other owners for reasons you don’t have to worry about. But since they wisely decided to become useful tools for your Lord Husband, I thought this would be a more… fitting… end.” ’Ja said. Then her mouth twitched. “I really don’t like “Lord Husband.””

“You suggested it.” ’Tok said mildly.

“I wanted Master and Mistress.”

“But they are gendered and therefore silly.”

“Oh don’t you start! I’m going to find different titles and circulate them by lunch.” ’Ja grumbled. “Any other questions?”

“So many. What did they do? How much money do they bring in? How do I run the company, exactly? I mean, I don’t know anything about being a grain merchant.”

“They were rude, and caused political trouble for me.” ’Tok made a point of sounding unbothered. ’Ja jumped in after him.

“They bring in no money, at the moment. The owners pay themselves a small salary, but the profits all go to expansion and paying off their loans. In fact, they are covering payroll with short term commercial paper from the Bank. As for how you will run the company, that is a much longer conversation. But the short answer is “delegation.””

“I feel overwhelmed. I thought you were going to give me a pile of rads or something.”

“Oh we are. Well, not a pile. Suffice to say that your pocket money will now arrive monthly and will be enough to buy… almost anything your heart desires. Your bank account-”

“I have an account with the bank? Sorry, sorry!”

“Don’t interrupt, sweetie. And yes, you do. As of yesterday, you met the minimum deposit requirements. By a lot. I am being deliberately coy. I want you to go to a teller window this morning and demand to see your balance.” ’Tok’s grin was equal parts mischief and malice. He had been getting dragged for decades for not taking a concubine. Well, now he did, and she wasn’t one of their kids. And she would be visibly, loudly, rich.

“Speaking of. I’m sure you and ‘Ja have discussed this, but you know nepotism is a major feature of the Xia system, right? Do you have any family that needs cushy new jobs?”

“No, I’m afraid not.” Gentian’s smile dimmed. “Mom died when I was young, giving birth to my brother who also died. Dad did his best for us, but…”

“The plague six years back.” ’Ja said gently. The subtle shift of her hand and a flicked glance to a painting silently told ’Tok that she had verified this very carefully indeed.

“I am so sorry.”

“My Lord Husband and Lady Wife are my family now. I am no longer lonely.” Gentian smiled, though she wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Or poor.” ‘’Tok clapped twice, and a maid popped in. “The silver chest, please.” He grinned while the maid scurried off. “In addition to putting a long string of zeros in your bank account, I also took the liberty of buying you a few things.”

An ornate silver chest was set in front of Gentian.

“Open it.” ’Tok smiled. Gentian smiled back, more honestly this time, and did.

It was funny how you could see her brain freeze up, he felt. ‘Ja was grinning right along with him. Gentian reached in with shaking hands and lifted the spun silver and emerald tiara out of the box. Looking for permission and getting it, she gingerly placed it on her head. The inside of the lid had the best mirror she had ever seen. Drunk with shock, she decided that she looked good in tiaras.

“Open the rest of it and try things out later. Best I could do on short notice. The jewelry stores here aren’t great.” ’Tok smiled.

“You never got me a tiara.” ’Ja groused good naturedly.

“Well, since you have an exciting new fetish…”

“Bonus!” ’Ja smiled wickedly.

“A little surprised at how this morning turned out, actually. After last night.”

The two women looked at him in surprise.

“This is this, that is that.” ’Ja said firmly, with Gentian nodding along. “Best you don’t confuse them. We don’t.”