Turns out there's a neighborhood watch committee after all.

I'm at one of this glass house's many windows; this one's walling an alcove that's attached to the upstairs loft where Craig and Tabi were developing their character. Built into the alcove is a couch that's been swarmed with stuffed animals, dolls, and other such collectible horrors.

My three party members are going full voyeur, hands against the glass. Surrounded by horrors.

Collectibles freak me out.

I have to make room for myself, and toss aside a cosmic pink bear, pluck one Chuckie wannabe like it has the plague, flick it away and wipe my hand. Grab two American Girl Dolls, one of which I throw off the loft because it won't stop staring. Gently, I move aside a stuffed Curious George, then sit him up.

Satisfied, I find my spot on a cushion. Furby speaks to me. I grab it by its hideous head and hurl it as far from me as possible. There's a satisfying sound of something breaking.

Everyone looks at me.

"I found a Furby."

They all understand.

Except Jake. "What's a Furby?"

"If you took an HP Lovecraft novel and turned it into a child's speaking play toy, you would have a Furby," Tabi says.

"That doesn't help."

"The stuff of nightmares," Craig clarifies.

The couple is trying to explain to Jake why Furby is the real evil twin of a mogwai, but I've stopped paying attention.

There's more interesting shit taking place on the streets below. The horde still parading the street interests me the least. The neighborhood watch committee, however, is very fascinating.

I'm getting to see new Races as well as new Classes.

See this: mid-air, there's a tanktop-wearing bodybuilder flapping feathery wings that are too small for him, and at the same time he's ejaculating a steady streaming ice beam into the horde. They seem slowed by this, and I'm fairly certain they didn't consent—does a zombie have enough personhood to warrant consent or does that technically fall under necrophilia? It's a stupid question that needs no answer.

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There's also a chick who has some half-orc attributes. Apparently I would fuck an orc. I feel guilty. But she's really hot. I wonder if a Leonite and a half-orc could make things work. Then she throws a fireball, and I'm out. I'd resent her for being more magical than me.

I'm beginning to wonder if Ralph was lying to us about the Moon Quest and magic.

There are three other various persons seemingly associated with the neighborhood watch committee.

One of whom appears to be a child minotaur creature: She's gotta be no older than ten, looks like she's been experimenting with DNA splicing her genome and a bull's, so I figure Taurus Rising. She has three Pet Companions at her sides and one at her flank: two at her sides are unfamiliar, a flying hippopatamus with a mouth as big as the creature is hungry (for zombies); another obvious first evolution baby monster, which resembles a cross of a baby walrus and wyvern; and the third, trailing behind is the cute little — I think it was called a — Ferbel I read about earlier; it's covered in green fur and leaves adorn its wing-big ears like feathers would adorn normal wings.

She is using a charging attack at zombies. The Pet Companions protect her the entire time, attacking surrounding foes as well as any the minotaur's offspring doesn't kill with her fissuring charge attack.

Eyes are drawn back to my favorite of the group. Orc-chick just grabbed a zombie by its scalp, and point blank conjured a fire ball into its face.

Second of the three: I assume this one's gotta be another Cancer Rising because he's a gnome like Tabi. Except I have no idea what his Sun sign could be, because he's got two six-shooters, and he's firing away like he's Stephen King's Mr. Big, Tall & Ugly himself. Couldn't be Sagittarius because Jake definitely doesn't have guns. I thought guns were offline now? Wonder if it's this guy's Quirk. Or if one Sun Sign can access modern weaponry. Too soon to tell.

My eyes find the hot half-orc again. She really is good with those fireballs. Don't fall in love.

Last of the watch committee is…what would happen if you fused a female Little Mac(kenszie) with a Centaur. Her upper body is built like a brick shit house, and its attached to what looks like a pygmy horse. She's doing her best to stomp zombies and punch them in their faces with monk-like speed. I feel like a brawler class has gotta be the most inconvenient class for going against such mouthy opponents. There's a faint blue glow around her, and I see a glimmering little creature on her shoulder; it's the axolotl Pet Companion I saw! It's healing all her bite wounds!

I am actually fairly impressed with this watch committee. And it's not just because of the hot half-orc.

Now that I've had my fill of observing the fight, I ask if we should go help. It of course has nothing to do with wanting to meet half-orc girl.

"They seem to have it figured out," Craig says. "We might as well let them clear some of the path for us."

"Plus," Tabi adds, "We don't know if they're raiders or if they'll…" she steals a scowl at Jake and me, "…just hold us up."

I refuse to give in. She will see I'm the most useful dumb barbarian if it's the last thing I do. It's not like I need to be an expert to rage. Sheesh.

I look to Jake for his say.

"It doesn't hurt to talk to them. I can even keep watch from above so if anything goes wrong…" he does his best 'I'm spreading democracy to third world countries with my rifle!' impression, adding a pew pew noise. "Like that."

Tabi groans. "I feel so assured."