Chapter 104 — In which families are complicated (2)

Father.

Honestly speaking, Saffra was unfamiliar with this word.

Father, mother, parent… They were all unfamiliar to her.

She knew their dictionary definitions, and she knew well about struggles of both the parents and their children.

But it was all from the perspective of others.

What about her? Where she and her siblings fit in that abstract construct?

There were people, who told Saffra, when she was still Saffaron, that she was like a mother to them, and she would laugh cheerfully in response and say thank you.

That was all she could do.

Because she couldn’t quite understand what they meant by it.

It sounded like a compliment, so she thanked them and their faces were cute and warmed her heart, so she laughed and smiled when hearing that.

But she really had no idea.

For someone who had no memory of her ‘parents’, who only had experience of others to draw on, the definition of a ‘parent’ was blurry.

She once asked her miracle about it, before her miracle died in that battle, what ‘parent’ means and her miracle answered after much thought:

— It’s someone who protects you when you’re most vulnerable.

At that time she nodded and decided that her miracle would be no use with this conundrum.

Because if one thing was clear to Saffra, it was that ‘parent’ is a paradox.

She saw many ‘parents’ join the armies for the sake of protecting their children, and she saw them sacrifice themselves to protect them.

But she also saw ‘parents’ sent out their children to the armies for the sake of the children protecting them, and she saw them sacrifice their children to protect themselves.

She saw those ‘parents’ saying they do things to protect their children, but they hurt their own children more than anyone else they tried to protect them.

And she saw ‘parents’ put on rough exterior and scorn at their children, and yet protect them better than anyone else.

She remembered when her right hand Waxion boasted about his daughter and how tenderly he looked at her when she slept, but how his face would turn cold when he mumbled under his breath ‘I’ll be better father than my father. Yes, I must never become my father’.

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She remembered how clear was his hate for the word ‘my father’.

In fact, perhaps what Saffra understood even less was the concept of being someone’s child.

There were children like Waxion, but there were also other children.

Like those two sun and moon’s children, who sought to protect and understand their violent parents.

She knew a child, who escaped from their family to follow Am, because they wouldn’t have any future.

And she knew a reverend follower of Ver, who decided to return to their family, even though it meant abandoning their dreams and bright future.

She knew numerous stories. She observed numerous interactions. And was in close contact with numerous parents and children.

And yet she still wasn’t able to figure out what ‘parent and child’ relationship entailed.

Even with her memories as Saffra she couldn’t figure it out.

Perhaps because even though Saffra had a supposed father and mother, she never got to know them.

It appeared they were as absent as the missing from memories Saffaron’s parents.

Therefore, hearing that Sulfious was in the critical condition, Saffra first thought was:

‘Ah, it’s starting, huh?’

Saffra was preparing for this moment since she woke up with Saffaron’s memories.

She even excepted it would happen at such timing.

‘If you want to cause chaos, now is the perfect time.’

Then the next step was…

“We’re going back right now.”

Orche bark out and Saffra for the first time in her life perhaps, agreed with him.

They needed to return as quickly as possible.

Orche turned around and disregarding any etiquette, he quickly moved to leave.

But Mimosa hesitated.

It was uncertain if she was more mindful of the eyes around them, or her mind was just in chaos, but she didn’t make any hasty decision.

With Orche and his subordinates gone, Saffra didn’t worry about twisting her weak image and quickly advised.

“We should also leave as quickly as possible, but it would be discourteous to leave without a word, so you should go to meet with Lord Archmage to ask for understanding. In the meantime I’ll prepare our people for the departure.”

“Ah… Yes, yes. That’s what we should do.”

Mimosa nodded, first slowly, then again much quicker, as she took a deep breath and regained her composure.

She glanced at Saffra and said:

“Thank you.”

Saffra just smiled and lightly patted her arm.

This was when a figure that kept his distance, waiting for a commotion to subside, approached.

“Did something happen?”

Scarlen asked.

His face was expressionless, but Saffra keenly noticed a bit of worry in his eyes.

‘The opponent made a pretty big move. Even if nothing happened on the surface, it had to be quite intense inside.’

Saffra recalled the wax figures of the Flavun’s envoy, the strange ritual of Purplus’ priests and instability of the Archmage’s magic circles she dealt with.

It was natural for Scarlen to be on guard against any other potential dangers.

Sadly, it was Flavun’s internal affair, so no one planned to explain to him what was going on.

“We deeply apologize, but something came up. We have to make a haste and come back. My sister wishes to see Lord Archmage to give goodbyes and last blessings. Again, we deeply apologize for hasty leaving.”

Saffra took charge in the negotiations, and Mimosa simply apologetically bowed her head.

Scarlen touched one of elaborately craved jewels on his clothes, which acted as a communication stone, and after a moment, he nodded.

“Lady Candidate Mimosa, if you don’t mind going alone, you can see my Lord right away.”

“I don’t mind, thank you for your consideration.”

“This way then, please.”

Meeting the Archmage wasn’t an easy feat, but as Mimosa was a prospective throne ruler such a request was easily granted to her.

As Scarlen guided Mimosa, Saffra gathered all the people of Flavun left in the ceremonial hall and prepared to leave.

She was a bit regretful that she couldn’t say goodbye to her brother, or to congratulate him on ‘finally becoming an adult’, but as the bastard already fled the hall, it couldn’t be helped.

The country’s affairs took the priority.

*~*~*