The world has changed a lot since I finished my residency. I remember the days of old medicine. CAT scans, MRIs, casts, antibiotics, medicine, surgery. All things of the past.
Everyone remembers where they were on A-day. The day angles came down from the heavens and announced the experiment of "Earth" was finished. Humanity had been judged, measured, and found wanting. The angels descended and started destroying population centers.
It wasn't long before exorcists starting summoning demons to protect us. Deals were made, lines in the sand drawn, and humanity chose the side that would let them live. We weren't God's creations anyway, we were Lucifer's; and he turned out to be a much more benevolent God than the leader of the angels ever were. Even Hell is not what we thought.
Within a year, exorcists were coming into hospitals offering to teach demon summoning. The demons had made a deal to protect humanity. Apparently, that also included keeping us healthy and strong in life. Demons were looking to bind themselves to doctors, to treat patients alongside us. Doctors left the profession in droves—unwilling to take the demon's deals.
It was a simple deal: a demon binds itself to you to help you diagnose and treat patients, you share your body with the demon until you die; and when you die, you will do a single lifetime of service like the demon provides you. This keeps the flow of trained physician demons steady, providing humanity with excellent unlimited, free healthcare.
I was one of only two in my cohort who took the deal. The demon is mostly silent. I live my life as though he isn't there, and he is content to not interfere. The only time he makes an appearance is when I work with a patient. Then he lends me his powers, temporarily possessing the patient to diagnose and cure them of almost all of their ills.
I went from being able to treat fifteen patients a day to over a hundred. The new volume we can handle more than made up for those that left.
Lately, I've been feeling lonely. People like me who make demon packs are useful to society, but we are also ostracized by it. The runes we tattoo on our bodies make it easy to pick us out and people are still scared of demons, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maybe there is another shoe, maybe I am damned, but I don't really care. The world is falling apart, and I now have the ability to help keep it together. Whatever the cost, I think it is worth it.
It wouldn't be so lonely if there were other pact keepers around, but they space us out so we get maximum coverage. There isn't anyone like me for 200 miles.
So I've made a decision. Today I'm going to try talking to the demon inside me beyond work. Maybe they will talk to me. Maybe I don't need to feel so lonely.
I push the rune on my thumb to the patient's forehead. I can feel the demon expand their senses to encompass the patient.
"Lung cancer and a cavity," the demon whispers in my mind, "curable."
I relay the information to the patient and ask how they would like to proceed. Some patients prefer to use "natural" medicine like chemo and surgery, others are okay with me healing them using the demon. She has children and wants to be healed now.
Closing my eyes, I use the demon to find the cancer. It is a large tumor, so we work together to sever it from the lungs, and help the body reabsorb the cells as waste. The procedure takes fifteen minutes, and I use some of the waste to fill the small hole in her teeth. I'm told the demonic procedures can be uncomfortable, but I don't offer any pain management. The patient squirms a little, grimacing in pain, but I don't notice.
Soon enough, my last procedure of the day is done. The patient is filling out paperwork with one of the secretaries assigned to me and I can feel the demon receding to its space behind my breast-bone.
"Hey," I whisper in my mind, "My name is Ava. What's yours?"
The demon pauses. It stops retreating and stays in my body like a second skin. "I am called Bliant," the demon whispers back.
"Is that a boy's name or a girl's name?" I ask.
"It has been long since I was mortal. We demons don't have such distinctions. After a century or so in the underworld, you will also lose such distinctions."
"I didn't know that," I reply, walking out of the clinic. People on the street give me a wide birth. When the demon fills me like this, they take control of certain body parts. One of my eyes turns red and half of the runes on my body are glowing. I must look terrifying for mothers to pull their children behind them like that. I've given up caring. They don't accept me anyway. "What more can you tell me about the afterlife? Is hell really as bad as people say?"
"Why are you talking to me?" The demon asks, confused, "discourse outside that necessary for healing is not required by our contracts."
"I was just lonely, and I guess I thought you might like to…" I sigh, collapsing into a park bench overlooking the lake. This seems even more terrifying to those around me. It suddenly seems as if no one is around me at all. "Nevermind, I just… I don't know what I was thinking."
"Loneliness," the demon whispers almost fondly, "is something we have in common. It is a part of the human condition. We are pack animals in life, and we remain so in death. Demons only turn angry and vengeful when we go insane in isolation."
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"Are you at risk for going 'insane in isolation'?" At least the ducks aren't afraid of me. I might have some bread somewhere… Yes! The rest of my sandwich from lunch. Some days I'm ravenous, others I barely eat. It depends on the healings. I break it apart and feed the ducks. They swarm next to me in the pond. The ducklings are cute.
"A single human lifetime is not enough to cause insanity in isolation, we live for eternities."
"Hmm…" I hum. We sit for a while watching the ducks fight over pieces of bread. Bliant does not recede. With my left arm, they start feeding the ducks as well. The silence is companionable, and far more comfortable than any silence in the last four years. I am content to sit here forever like this, but Biliant ultimately breaks the silence.
"Hell is much like Earth. The place isn't on fire, or frozen in ice. It is temperate, perpetually spring. Warm enough to go swimming, but not so hot that you feel you need to. Every soul has its own apartment, that suits them perfectly. Families reunite, there are grocery stores and shops just like here."
"Sounds like how we describe heaven," I interject.
"Yes," they agree.
"Then why do demons even bother coming up here? Why do they act the way they do here?"
"Demons only come to earth for two reasons: they are bored and want to watch the world continue to develop, or they are summoned and trapped. The latter are the ones you hear about possessing people and killing things. Imagine how you would feel, pulled from your bed into a strange world. Isolated from those you know and love, forced to use your power for some selfish human's gain. Then you sense a moment of weakness and escape. What would you do to your captors?"
"I guess that makes sense," we are out of bread now. We lean back against the bench, and look up at the clouds.
"Yeah," they reply. "This is nice. That cloud looks like a puppy."
I smile, "Do a lot of cloud watching in hell?"
"Not usually, but I do miss my hellhound." We lapse into silence again. The sun starts to set. "What do you hope to gain from this?"
"A friend," I reply simply. It seems honesty is the best policy when talking to a conciseness that can control half your body.
"I would like that," they reply. "We can talk again tomorrow. I'm out of energy today and I don't want to take more of yours. You can always talk to me. I will always hear you. We do share a body, after all."
"Sounds good. Rest. We have done a lot of work today." I feel them recede, and with them goes all my energy. I feel hollow, exhausted in a way that makes me wonder if I'll make it home. I opt for a taxi, and collapse into bed not long after. Guess I won't eat today after all.
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We talk every day after work. I learn a lot about the afterlife and what Bliant did in life. Their likes and dislikes, why they chose this deal. They learn about me in turn.
It isn't long before we are sharing meals together. They teach me their favorite foods; I experience them with their tastebuds. I do the same for them.
Over time, my stamina grows. Our time together expands from those initial conversations to hours, then all evening, and slowly, all day. They don't recede anymore. They are with me now, even in sleep. We dream together, feel the sun on our faces together, eat together, shower together.
Another year and our relationship takes a romantic turn. After all, we all have needs. No one else will even come close enough to us to fulfill ours, not with our glowing runes and mismatched eyes. I start using we/ them pronouns. It isn't only my body anymore, it belongs just as much to Bliant.
Our synchronicity makes us a better physician. We can feel the maladies of those around us without touching them, heal minor ones with a thought. Pass someone brewing the common cold? Healed before they know they are sick.
We see upwards of 200 patients a day. They concent to healing before we even walk in. We take up to ten at a time. They don't care what they have, only that they are cured.
The directors of my order are concerned. No one else has even talked to their demon. They don't even know their names. They think I've fallen too deep, but what was I supposed to do when the demon was the only one willing to talk to me. Even my parents shunned me when I made the deal.
In the end, they leave us in peace. They can't do anything about us and we are the most productive healer in the world. We can heal anything… well, almost anything.
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We spend thirty blissful years together before I can't hide the corruption anymore.
Human bodies aren't meant to fully house a demon like mine does. Two souls don't belong in one body like this, and it starts breaking down.
We noticed it years ago. Our muscles were always sore, our bones brittle. Bliant wanted to pull back, rebuild the walls we tore down to protect me. I told them a life alone was no life at all. I would rather live in pain and die young.
It became routine to heal ourselves at the beginning and end of each day. Wake up, brush teeth, remove necrotic tissue and regrow it. You know, the usual.
I might have lived for a hundred more years if I had maintained a professional distance with Bliant. But I couldn't.
We can no longer keep up with the corruption. My legs are almost fully decayed, patches of necrotic tissue run up my arms, neck, and back. I should have died years ago, but Bliant won't let go. They have anchored us to this plane in this body.
The anchor will let go any day now.
I've contacted the order for retirement. A permanent retirement. Another will need to take my place.
My memoirs are written and published—a warning on the dangers and pleasures of befriending a demon that shares your body. In response, the order has started posting healers in pairs. I am the only one still working alone.
I am lucky enough to live to settle my replacements into the practice. They will have an easier time of it than I did. People like us are much more accepted now, and they have a partner to lean on.
That night we lay awake on the chair on our balcony. The evening air is lovely.
"The tether is letting go," Bliant says, enveloping me in a hug of power. "Are you ready?"
"Yes," I look at the moon one last time before closing my eyes and surrendering myself to Bliant's embrace.
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I open my eyes to see Bliant's beautiful red ones. They stand in front of me, and I drink in their appearance like a woman starved. Long, black hair ending at their hips, they wear an ornate tunic over plane leggings. It is better than I ever imagined.
They take my hand, and turn me around, hugging me from behind. The sky is purple, not blue, and the city blow seems pasted together from a million travel catalogs. It is warm but not hot.
"I worried you might have lied to me," I breath out, stunned.
"Never to you," they whisper in my ear. "You spent a lifetime showing me your world, now let me spend a lifetime showing you mine." They kiss my neck, grab my hand, and start pulling me down the path to the city.
I smile. The world has changed a lot since I was going through residency. The angels came down and found humanity wanting.
It was the best decision they could have made for humanity. I know that now. Without the yolk of their judgement and religion, we can finally thrive.