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> Shakespeare, The Soviet Union, Scrabble

Shakespeare's Soviet Scrabble Song

Act 1

Writers come along sometimes who change the world around

authors with their heads in clouds but feet upon the ground

and though we often grant Shakespeare with credit for his plays

Shakespeare’s efforts didn’t end back in the olden days

What I’m singing now has long been highly classified

to retrieve this information, many people died

but it’s time the world became aware of these events

of how Shakespeare shook the modern era’s governments

In the year of our lord sixteen hundred and sixteen

April twenty-third was the worst day the arts had seen

many think that too much drink became Shakespeare’s downfall

and though it ended his career, that story isn’t all

For what he drank that fateful day was not an ale or port

it was not a wine, at least not of the mortal sort

he was gifted that old bottle late one winter’s night

by an audience member who gave him quite a fright

She dressed in clothes that didn’t suit her, not in such a place

and there was something odd about the older woman’s face

“take a drink of this and you might come to understand

all the power you could wield with your prodigious hand”

The bottle sat upon a shelf until next April came

a tempting looking bottle with no label, smell, or name

Shakespeare took a drink while he was chatting with his friend

and when he died of fever the next day, it was the end

Act 2

In the year of our lord, nineteen hundred eighty-nine

Shakespeare lay within his grave,a victim of that wine

but it was strange when he awoke and opened up his grave

and found himself within a church and saw a small child wave

He ran outside and saw the world was not like he had known

but soon he noticed it was where he lived, though it had grown

he wandered down a road and got some looks along the way

and shed a tear when on a street sign he read “Hathaway”

He walked some more and noticed things had not all changed so much

there were many roads he knew that had a foreign touch

the people all around him spoke his language, but not quite

then a certain building that he knew entered his sight

An inn belonging to the father of his childhood friend

people on whom he knew that he could always depend

though the building now was called the The White Swan, he went in

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the portrait on the wall was proof he’d found the correct inn

An old man offered him a drink for dressing as he did

“I bet that costume cost you more than just a couple quid”

Shakespeare introduced himself as Will and then sat down

and wasn’t sure what drink he had, but it was cold and brown

He asked the old man many questions of the city streets

drinking with him til their faces both were red as beats

he was quite astonished by the things the man had said

and wondered if he’d dreamt the day when he went up to bed

Act 3

In the morning he came down to find the world still there

he sat down where he used to write his plays without a care

he reminisced all day while people came to say hello

as he learned their dialect, and smiled for a photo

Later that night his new old friend came and sat with him

“bet you’re good at scrabble” the old man said on a whim

he set the game up on a table and taught Will the rules

and for the next week Will made the whole tavern feel like fools

“How come he knows all those words, I thought he was a loon”

“and when it’s his turn he makes seven letter words so soon”

“I’m sure he just made that word up, so why don’t I mind”

“it’s like when he plays the game, the rules get left behind”

Will began to make some money, betting on the game

and people came from all around when they all heard his name

“Will the scrabble genius is playing here tonight”

“come test your vocabulary, be prepared to fight”

Will was having so much fun, the time just flew right by

Then one day he met a challenger who was a spy

“Will, I have an offer that I won’t let you refuse

I’ll give you a million dollars if you do not lose”

Act 4

The man was from America, and Will went right along

he thought it would be fun travel on and wasn’t wrong

flying through the air in a big jet filled him with awe

while he flew he learned about international law

“You’ll be representing our great nation at the match

if you lose, we have a nuke we’re likely to dispatch

the Soviets are stronger than they’ve ever been before

with their English, they could beat us in any flame war”

Shakespeare was determined he said he’d do his best

the spy had given him such an important, scrabble quest

so he fought the Soviets with his words, old and new

the tournament was easy, there was nothing they could do

In a single game he once invented nine knew terms

his words were flying high while other felt like lowly worms

every word he made up on the spot was written down

and instantly became official in that very town

After he had won the scrabble fight, the world was saved

the spies all loved the road to peace that Shakespeare’s words had paved

he then retired happily beyond the public eye

never writing plays again, though no one could know why

The rumours go that later he got on the internet

and though he has been writing, he’s not published on here yet

but the day might come real soon, when Shakespeare’s work returns

to grace the web with golden words for which the whole world yearns