Suddenly, I felt something tugged at my shirt behind me. Turning around, I did not expect Irina gripping the edge of my shirt tightly and refused to let me go. Her face looked down at the carpet as she muttered:

"It's not that I feel threatened by you, stupid..."

As our eyes met gaze, Irina's face was overwhelmed with emotions. It was best described as authenticity. Tears began trickling down from the corner of her eyes, slowly down her cheeks and letting it fall endlessly. This was the first time I ever saw her cry.

"It's because I am afraid... I am afraid that if you knew the real me, then you wouldn't like me anymore."

"What do you mean Irina?"

"I'm scared... This feeling is unbearable and I don't know how to handle it. It's constantly on the back of my mind. I know I shouldn't be because I am surrounded by so many friends yet why do I feel so alone?"

Irina collapsed onto the carpet with her knees, looking so fragile and vulnerable. It feels like she could break at any moment.

"I didn't know how to face you after what happened, Jan. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to go back to what we were..."

My bestie sniffled as I grabbed a few tissues and helped her back to bed.

"Irina, you can run from your past all you want, but it will always follow you. Forever and ever." I rest my hand on her shoulder, "But it's okay to not have everything figured out. Maybe sometimes you have to lose who you were to find out who you are."

"But just knowing that we won't be the same as before, I couldn't muster the strength to confront you, especially when you know about my darkest secret. How can we go back to our friendship when everything is all gone?!"

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Her voice sounded like a desperate plea, reminding me of how I felt for the past few weeks. But this anger and frustration meant she really cared about our friendship. About us.

"Then why don't we start over right now?"

I looked at her straight in the eye, gazing into her soul. Memories of our first encounter constantly replayed in my mind like a videotape, reminding me of both the good and bad moments. Although her crimsons eyes were puffy, it was filled with utmost sincerity.

You saved me back then.

Now it's my turn to save you.

"I want to know the true you. The Irina with the empty feeling. The Irina with feelings that she never let any other know before — the real Irina."

"But the real me is not always cheerful and gets upset easily when things don't go my way."

"Then we'll go for your favorite dessert when you are down."

"But the real me can be really clingy and I'll complain a lot."

"I'll be here for you when you need someone to listen."

"But the real me is pessimistic and overly sensitive about stupidest stuff."

"Even then, you can still complain to me."

"I'm broken on the inside. Are you really okay someone like me as a friend?"

"If you never break, you'll never know how to put yourself back together."

As I held Irina's hands, her crimson eyes seemed to sparkle as if the burning will to live had reignited. Even though tears were streaming down repeatedly, she smiled. It was the signature smile I remembered. The one I utterly adored. The one that had saved me back in 7th grade. Unexpectedly, my best friend leaped into my arms and sobbed, releasing all the sorrow that had built up over the year.

"Thank you, Jan... All this time... I had to hold it in... Finally... Something who accepts who I really am..."

"Sharing our weakness to others is very scary." I held her tightly in my embrace and felt her warmth across my body, "After all, we don't want to appear incompetent to others, especially to the people we care about. But I am glad you were willing to share something this intimate with me. You have gotten stronger, Irina."

"Really?"

"Yes really."

"Can you keep praising me?"

It was not a joke or a playful statement but rather a request from someone who needed encouragements to keep moving forward.

"Alright, just this time then. Only because today is special."

As I continued to shower her with sincere compliments that I felt across the years, our friendship reminded me of a phoenix — rebirthing from the ashes of destruction and burning brighter than ever. My mind could not help but think...

For someone to accept you fully despite your flaws, that is...

...an utterly truly wonderful thing.