Sooo many monsters!

That's not a joke, there's just been a nonstop flow of monsters to kill.

Sadly, none of the other monsters seem to be helping. The natural ones. They're either too weak, or run away at the sight of trouble, like the horn rabbits. Can't blame them though, they're a rank or two too low from the abnormal monsters.

I've gotten into the habit of using ore as a helmet, having ore wrap around my head, which has saved me once or twice from a direct blow to the cranium.

An acid blast flies at me, as I raise a wooden platform in front of me in turn, blocking the acid blast, and returning the favor with an ironwood stake plunging through its head in return, causing it to burst, as another five ants swarm me at once. Using my whips, I thrash each one hard before popping another 5 wooden stakes up, killing the last five monsters in the nearby area.

Those hadn't been the only monsters, but they were the last for the day. It'd been 20 monsters just an hour ago, now reduced to zero. Whew.

[Congratulations! You've reached level 5]

Leveling has slowed down dramatically, but that's basically expected, when one considers this is my second form. It's known that monsters take far longer to grow after their second evolution, being one of the many reasons few people want to have a familiar, which is an expensive investment, choosing to invest in themselves instead.

It became more of a noble thing, and even I had considered getting one. I was going to get a shadow jackal imported from Egypt, though that never came to fruition.

Ah well. Now I am the monster, so I don't need a familiar anymore.

Then again, I kind of am like the familiar and master in one, when we consider ore.

'Ore!'

Yup.

Anyway, I'm going to harvest the cores, dedicate the bodies to the altar and then-

Hmmm?

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"I Got you, you half shelled bastard."

Lenard cackled as he let the arrow loose, hitting the turtle square in its head.

The monster wasn't weak, but it had merely managed to kill a bunch of e-rank monsters, the ironwood arrows wouldn't have a problem cutting through its flesh. It was just a moss turtle evolution.

Perhaps to the villagers and even the monsters it was dangerous, but to him? A d-rank scout? Nah. It would be a quick and easy activity.

And the turtle froze after being hit squarely in the head.

Score!

Alright, I should go back and-

Hmm?

Did the turtle just move? That's impossible. That's an ironwood arrow! Even if it's not the best, its still more than enough imbued with mana to easily kill a c rank monster!

Lenard watched in surprise as the head of the monster split in two into two heads, one completely silver, the other a normal turtle head.

The turtle was completely unaffected.

It was staring at Lenard.

Annoyed, Lenard notched another arrow and shot at the turtle, confident this would kill it for sure.

Fwoosh!

The arrow flew, but this time, it was caught in midair by the vine emerging from the turtle.

While he was flustered, he remained calm. Fine, he couldn't do it for now. Just had to get something stronger, and he could fix his mistake. Sure, he'd be laughed at, but that would be fine. A small loss, but he'd still get what he wanted once the siege was over.

Deciding the arrows he brought clearly weren't enough, Lenard was getting up to leave, before he realized something.

The turtle at first had walked over to the tree, looking up, and he had sneered at the foolish turtle, walking over to him up in the tree.

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What was it going to do?

Stare at him?

Even if it destroyed the tree, he would just hop to another tree. As long as the turtle was down there, and he was up here, it was helpless before him.

Getting ready to go, Lenard was not ready for the next thing that had happened.

As quick as could be, the turtle's vine shot at him, and Lenard had dodged, surprised at the reach the turtle had, beginning to get anxious.

This turtle was clever.

Too clever.

And it had two heads.

Clearly a variant.

He realized something though.

The turtle hadn't retracted the vine yet.

Something shot through him, an instinct, a warning.

Feeling dread, he jumped backwards onto another tree, and did so just in the nick of time, to witness the turtle arrive exactly where he had been a moment before.

The turtle had used the vine to climb onto the tree.

Immediately Lenard turned tail and ran.

Only to look back and see the turtle swinging.

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I have no clue who he is, where he came from, or what he came for, I'm going to gut that bastard.

Well, I can take a gander why he came here, I received an arrow to the face for that, and I know he's some sort of scout.

And I doubt he came from the village, streams of monsters have been heading in one direction for a while, I doubt they have the leisure to leave.

And since this involves the elven royal family, it doesn't take a genius to figure out this is sabotage.

So I have a totally legitimate reason to gut this knife eared bastard.

I'm sure he's a gross pig or something. I'm sure of it.

Swinging? Yeah, I started doing that just now, but so far I'm working just fine.

He definitely looks terrified as I catch up to him.

Huhuhuhu, yes, looks like I'll have something else to offer to Anubis.

[...I did not know you had this kind of streak. You've seemed childish up to this point, I didn't expect you to be the vindictive type.]

Puh-lease. I'm a noble. And as a noble, I've learned some very important lessons. Like knowing when to offer the hand of friendship, and when to show em these hands!

[... I'm impressed.]

Did you forget I called you stupid in latin?

[...]

Anyway, I'm catching up, so let's do something a little dangerous.

[Wait...]

Gather the vines, and create a catapult. Aim...

[I thought you stopped doing that!]

YOU WERE WRONG!

FIRE!

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'What the hell is that turtle doing?'

Lenard was panicked, but that panic gave way to confusion as he watched the turtle stop and produce more vines, only to grow horrified.

"There's no way..."

Splat

Earl missed, but missing is subjective.

He missed the head...

...But took a leg.

Lenard hopped on one leg as pain soared through his mind, before falling from the branch.

Earl, lodged in a tree nearby, fixed his conundrum by simply cracking the tree in half.

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Oh Anubis, that hurts!

There's this really itching and uncomfortable feeling right above me somewhere, but I can't put my metaphorical finger on it.

Ore?

'Tree broken'

whimpers Ore, and in fact the little shrub on back is a little cracked!

[Maybe you won't do something that stupid again] harumphs Stolidus.

Shut up. That was fun. I haven't done that in a while. I mean, if there was any reason to remain small, than this would be the reason.

ping

Oh, the arrow bounced off. I'm guessing it's because my shell is made partially of ironwood?

[Not quite. Your shell's harder than ironwood, but not actually ironwood, being mixed with ore slime properties]

Ah. Anyway, time to go kill him.

As I walk towards him he keeps shooting.

At some point, he stops shooting and begins trying to crawl away.

Anyway, one iron stake later, and he's dead.

Stolidus was staring at him curiosy, before asking a question.

[Did you kill a lot of people as a noble out of curiosity? Because I feel like the answer is yes.]

Yup. I was well loved despite being a child when I started by making sure to be very active in the estate. I executed my first bandit somewhere around, 10? And my first traitorous noble around 15. A bit gruesome, but it may be popular.

[Huh, so you were a competent noble. I thought you were completely reckless and died in some stupid way like blowing yourself up.]

Hey, why don't I go ask Anubis if he takes elf bodies?

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yeah, sure! In fact, that same elf is coming around right about now, just send the body down.

Yeah sure, give me a min.

Sheryll, send Lenard down now. Yes, early. Trust me, it'll be funny.

Don't think I was meant to hear that. I'll just drop the body onto the altar.

Aand done!

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Lenard shivered as he felt the cold glare of the jackal-headed god before him.

He'd been waiting in line, before being called down early, causing him to be filled with dread. Why would the god of judgement call him down early of all people.

He couldn't also help but notice his corpse on the floor in the room he was just admitted into.

"Oh that? That's just an offering I received from one of my most favored followers. Y'know, the one that just killed you."

Gulp.

"The one you just tried to kill."

"Lord Anubis I-"

"Don't worry, I don't allow my personal bias to get involved in my judgement of souls."

Oh thank the great mist-

"But! If I recall correctly, Lenard the killer has raped his way through three different villages during his time under his current employment (say nothing of outside of that current employment) and killed 100 non elf children throughout his lifetime. Just because I ignore one crime do you believe I'd ignore the countless lives you've taken?"

Anubis leaned in as the intensity of his stare increased.

"It's been a while since Ammit's been able to eat a person body and soul, isn't that right Ammit?"

Grrrr

"I hear that being reincarnated after coming out of Ammit's ass is very painful."

The room shook as a giant eye appeared before the elf, and the room became damp with breath.

No...

"Ammit, try not to get any bones stuck in your mouth. You know how elves are always the stringy kind."