I've always thought kids were a lot of fun.

Whenever my relatives came over(the ones I didn't hate or suspect) and they brought over their children, I couldn't help but adore them, and I even slipped from the stern lord image I had worked so hard to cultivate, and I used to enjoy sharing stories of monster conquests and clearing out bandits dens, even showing off loot.

I started keeping loot, once I found out how that fascinated kids. Stories are best paired with the stuff. Scales of a wyvern, blade of a bandit, a roaming thief's most favored ring, one to rule them all.

I started being known as a ruthless killer, who collected "trophies" from my victims. Not that I cared.

And at the village I enjoyed entertaining the kids.

But, over the last few days, I have come to discover an important lesson.

What was it that was said. Distance makes the heart grow fonder? Yes?

I understood that well now.

Kids are fun.

In small doses.

Leon is clearly a well-meaning kid. Unfortunately, well meaning, does not mean good results.

"Is that the stove?" Lenore asked gravely as she watched the trail of black smoke emerged from the kitchen within the carriage.

What would Gaston say?

He'd say that this kitchen looks like a crime scene.

Ugh, food splotches everywhere, and black smears plague this kitchen, and they are only emphasized on those burned pans.

The pain is real! Those are probably magically enchanted pots and pans. and knifes made out of high-quality metal like mithril, so to see it damaged smeared by clumsy cooking...

... it really hurts the heart.

It's not permanent damage, nothing like a magical cleanse couldn't fix, but clearly, some of it will need the aid of a professional.

On the bright side, I've managed to convince them to take a turn and take a detour route, which happens to cross over my old territory, thanks to this. I suggested taking this chance not only to throw pursuers off track, but also to avoid spies who will be in higher concentrations in places such as Pittendsdale

I suggested we first stop at Skip village, given that was the closes town to change routes at. It was also a place with lower numbers overall, but still popular route due to its historical importance.

Still....

One has to put up with kids even longer now thanks to ones own decision.

Skip village is 5 days further than the previous location, so this ride will be even longer.

Ugh...

----------------------------------------

And that's where my second head comes in.

Ore, being the more child-like entity it is, has been useful in keeping the kids distracted.

When they(Leon) come to me to play, I basically let Ore take over the body while I do something else.

Yes, it turns out Ore can take over the body if I allow it too, something good to know should I need to multitask.

I do supervise though, because I know for a fact that if I leave them alone long enough, they'll cause trouble.

Not Willow of course. She's very quiet and inactive unless Leon brings her along.

I think its good for her though. She's very withdrawn, and not in a natural kind of way, and moreso of a no one else is interacting with her.

Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

I can tell. She's clearly not used to being showered with attention, and Servante's a bit of a distant one. The only time I really see him is when he's coming in to eat, or he's taking turns with Lenore to change posts.

Good soldier I suppose, but bad company for a child.

Lenore's better, but I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge the obvious distance between her and Willow.

She cares, I can tell, but it feels as if it is purposely established distance, the hesitation when it comes to acting with her, and while her voice is affectionate, she keeps interaction to a minimum.

They're not doing Willow's mental well being any good if you ask me.

Thankfully, Leon's here.

He's a positive influence I believe, even if he is trouble, which is probably why Lenore was in support of the child's addition to our party.

I'm glad to see the children having fun, but there is no way it can remain like this for the rest of the year.

They have to have something to entertain them, or they're just going to cause havoc all year long.

I have a plan at least.

----------------------------------------

"No"

This was Servante's simple response to my proposition.

'May I ask why you are so averse to me teaching the children elven writing?'

Leon clearly knew some basic elven, but Willow? Willow didn't seem to know how to write at all and leads me to wonder how she had been treated before I had ever met her.

Servante frowned at the question, responding curtly. "A turtle, offering to teach elvin? How ridiculous is that?"

Pomf

Servante looked surprised as I tossed a scrunched up paper at his face, and as he unfurled it, his eyes widened.

I received a perplexed look. "How?" he asked, clearly surprised at the page long talks about basic elven history.

'We all have our secrets, no? Nonetheless, does my proposition hold water now?'

Despite his surprise, Servante's response remained the same as his expression grew firm. "The answer's still no" he affirmed.

What reason is there to deny children their due learning?

'If I have proven capable, I see no reason to not teach the children. At the very least, you could teach them, no? They might get in less trouble were you to do so, with less free time on their hands"

Servante shook his head. "It's not about capability; we're forbidden from teach the high elf anything written."

Pardon?

'With all due respect, who came up with such poppycock? '

"The decree was made by the king regarding all high elves. No high elf is to be taught anything by their guard before arriving at the elven kingdom, lest the guards influence the opinions of the easily influenced child. Its meant to prevent sabotage from any of the houses, who may try to influence the children to their side before arriving at the kingdom."

' Ah, so its politics that would cause you to deprive a child of the ability to read? Truly, the elven kingdom is as wonderful as I've heard from all of its immigrants." I said scornfully. The elven kingdom may be seen as a superpower, much like the dwarven kingdom, but a respected one? No, no it is not. Its even mockingly commented there's a reason so many elves do not live in their kingdom, while dwarves love returning.

Servante's eyes narrowed dangerously, and killing intent could be felt, directed at me.

Eh, I've felt worse

"I did not think you stupid enough to blatantly insult the elven kingdom in front of a royal knight of the kingdom."

Snort

'And I thought you weren't meant to sabotage the children. Tell me, how would you be influencing the high elf if you decided to scorch the turtle for having an opinion? Her benefactor?'

Servante still looked upset, but the killing intent lifted.

"No teaching her." said Servante, clearly emphasizing his stance.

'And what of you, Lenore? Do you too, share that opinion?'

Lenore looked uncomfortable, but she still spoke. "Rules are rules, and those have been the rules for a very long time. We the royal knights are not meant to influence the minds of the high elf children." she paused. "Buuut, you're not one of us, are you?" she said as a smile lurked onto her face.

Servante looked annoyed at the suggestion. Me, I'm glad she picked up on that.

"You're bypassing the rules Lenore, we're not meant to do that." he warned, but Lenore brushed it off.

"And the other houses aren't meant to be assassinating the kingdom's greatest assets, yet here we are, fleeing from their pursuits. " she shot back. "At the very least, we're trying to work on a technicality. Earl over there will be teaching Leon, right?"

'Yes, I will be teaching "only" Leon. If Willow happens to pick something up, well, that's not my fault. Children are intuitive like that.'

Servante glared at the two of us, but I personally feel no regret for my choices.

To neglect a child's education over the statements of a king who's too scared to even face the greater world? Nah, I refuse. Those kinds of people do not have my respect.

I don't feel particularly in danger either, since if Servante were to try to kill me because of his overreacting, he'd not only have to suffer the negative stigma he'd gain in Willow's eye, but the whole of the elven kingdom as well. This alone, would prevent him from doing anything like killing me, because that would conflict with the interference statement.

One must also consider that he couldn't even if he tried, since I still very much have an S-class weapon, which I am capable of using. He can't really hurt me.

Seeing that neither would back down, Servante sighed.

"Fine, you can teach the child the elven language."

'And math'

Glare

'Neither affect perception. Otherwise, I'd be suggesting history too.'

"Fine." he groaned, aware that if he tried to argue otherwise, I'd probably start pushing to teach other things as well.

And with that, I had the right to teach the children language and math. I'd wanted to bargain more, but with these 2, I should be able to distract the children for a good while.

Maybe combat will help temper Leon's energy into something more productive.

Or it'll grease his wheels even more.

We'll see.