Rhohaz knew what it was. The reason for his eagerness to engage in conversation with Vanya. It was not something he was familiar with, that sudden nervous excitement bubbling up as he gazed into her dark eyes. Yet he knew it the moment it crept up on him. And he did his very best to not think of it that entire day until his hand, without a warning, grabbed hers to assist her down the slopes.

Her hands were delicate and soft as if she had not worked a day in her life. Yet her feet stomped on the ground, her stance so stable as she confidently looked Rhohaz up and down, observing if he was truly fine and no external substance was taking control of his attitude and words.

“Are you sure you are not drunk?” she asked, her hands to her hips and her nose scrunched, observing his eyes for clues with the vibrant moonlight shining down on them.

Rhohaz let out a heavy laugh then mirrored her posture, “You’d know when I’m drunk. I am simply letting you do what you were planning in the first place, spy on my sister.”

Vanya eyed him suspiciously, “What are you scheming?”

“I’m not scheming anything. I’m simply letting you help me.”

“Why? You have all the reason in the world to not let me help you. After all, you caught me in your room just earlier today, did you not?”

“You yourself said you were simply hiding from Garin and me, did you not?”

Vanya stood back realizing questioning Rhohaz wasn't going to help. She did not want him asking about things she saw whilst in his room. She did not want to go there. She would rather not talk about it at all than try to weasel out of a direct question about it.

“Fine. I will spy on your sister for you. What will you–”

“I will let you come up with a list of favors so I can pick one,” Rhohaz played with Vanya while taking steps to catch up with Tilly and Joan.

“That was my idea!” Vanya retorted keeping up with Rhohaz’s pace.

Rhohaz only chuckled turning to see that Tilly and Joan were far ahead of them.

“Regardless of whose idea it was, I am telling you that I will let you go ahead and spy on my sister.”

“I am spying on her already, you know. I don’t need your permission for it.”

“Is that so? What have you found then? Anything of value?” Rhohaz slowed his pace to Vanya’s.

She thought for a moment. She and Roza made a vow, a promise, that Roza’s protection meant Vanya would assist Roza in whatever she wanted to do. It was then that Vanya realized she did not know what she getting herself into with Roza.

“I found her sneaking back home today.”

“And?”

“We…” Vanya thought of a perfect lie. Something that would have her off the hook if she were to go missing with Roza, “...we vowed to be best friends! That way I can spend time with her, see what she’s up to, and report back to you.”

Rhohaz glanced at Vanya. His relaxed face tensed after a few thoughts.

“Then you should be ready for her to despise you when she finds out you were spying on her for me. She…she values loyalty above all else.”

“Do you mean if?… If she finds out,” Vanya corrected Rhohaz, “I’m hoping to be out of your hair and back in Esmeth before she, or anyone for that matter, figures anything out.”

Rhohaz was not expecting to feel this way but he felt his heart sink listening to her. This was the first time Vanya had ever spoken of going back home. She was never so blatant about it before. She was totally consumed with staying in Shalom, protecting herself in Shalom that even Vanya surprised herself as she spoke those words.

Rhohaz glanced at her, a deep sense of sadness etching itself in his pale gray eyes. It was as if the light he just reached was warning him that it would one day leave him in the dark.

He shook his head trying to discard the river of thoughts he seemed to be drowning himself in. He wondered why he was so deep in it, wondered if it was indeed the wine he sipped at Cecil’s that was playing with his mind.

While Rhohaz was too busy dealing with an emotional downpour Vanya noticed a shuffle at a distance. She squinted hoping the moonlight would help her see what it was, the sudden movement in the air.

She focused, her pace keeping up with Rhohaz, till she spotted it at a far greater distance than she thought she first saw it.

Her eyes shot up in fear. Her arms flared in goosebumps. It was as clear as day as to what she saw. She was sure of it. It was the same shadow, the same dark figure, that she spotted while at the infirmary the first few days here in Shalom, lurking behind the bushes in the distance with its posture turned towards her, looking at her, waiting to pounce on her.

She missed a step and stumbled. Rhohaz caught her in a second making her tear her intense gaze off of it.

“It was a misunderstanding. I was simply walking trying to clear my head. I’m sorry if it offended you or your sister in any way.”

Vanya remembered Rhohaz’s words then. The very words he spoke when he quickly admitted to her accusations that he was the one stalking her and Joan at the infirmary, that he was the shadow she saw lingering below those nights.

“You alright?” he asked, helping her up.

But she only gazed at him in shock.

I guess I am not the only one lying then…

She thought as she balanced herself realizing that the shadow was never Rhohaz to begin with. There was indeed someone stalking them. And Rhohaz knew about it and was covering it up.

Almost immediately she whipped her head around to no longer see the shadow in the distance. Her brows furrowed, and her mind contemplated what to do. She was terrified. She felt as if those ghost fingers were wrapping around her neck once more. She felt her air cut off. She started gasping, heaving.

Rhohaz panicked. His hands clasped her face as she started panting in horror.

Joan and Tilly, who were much farther away, had already heard Vanya and were running to them.

This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Her legs gave out and she descended into a slow seat on the ground.

Vanya held onto Rhohaz. She felt his warm palms on her cold cheeks. His eyes, those pale gray eyes, stared into hers, a true sense of fear drawn across them. It was then that she saw it again, the very sight she wanted to experience once more. The very sight she thought she was making up in her head all this time.

His eyes shone in golden rims circling his irises. They were faint at first still mixing with the dull gray in his eyes, but quickly shone in intense color before they disappeared altogether. With it, she felt a sudden soothing warmth cuddle her. She thought it was Joan until she heard Joan still at a distance. She felt her heart calm, her breathing improve, and she no longer gasped for air.

***

Rhohaz paced outside next to Tilly’s garden, biting into his nail. He was utterly devastated seeing Vanya on her knees desperate for air he did not know what else to do besides hold on to her.

Maybe I went too far?

He questioned himself for he felt it as well, the warm feeling at his fingertips, a ripple of soothing energy radiating from his palms.

Maybe she did not even notice…

He tried justifying it, his mistake, for it was clearly a mistake on his part. But strangely, even if he thought he ousted himself, he felt an overbearing feeling of wanting to burst through Tilly’s back door and gallop into the room full of women to insist on Vanya’s current state of being.

Vanya on the other hand was sitting cozily in her chair in the living room with a blanket that Joan force-wrapped around her and yet again another cup of black tea with a hint of persimmon and earth in her hands dissipating the warm vapor onto her skin.

Her eyes were fixated on the waves crashing onto the shore yet her mind was repeating the marvelous vision that unfolded in front of her for the millionth time over.

Gold…they shimmer gold…

She thought repeating the moment those barren eyes overcame with bright color like she was a moth attracted to a lamp.

“Drink, dear. I don’t want more people worrying over you,” Tilly gently pushed the cup in Vanya’s hands to her lips glancing over to Joan, who was also biting into her nails while absent-mindedly pacing in the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, for causing such inconvenience,” Vanya apologized.

“No need to apologize, dear. Clearly, something caught you off guard. May I ask what it was?”

Tilly’s eyes observed Vanya as she took a sip not wanting to answer that question right away. She waited till Vanya finished and looked back at her. Tilly had the same eyes, the same pale eyes Rhohaz possessed. Vanya wondered for a second if Tilly’s would ever light up like her grandson’s.

“I’m not sure. It was probably nothing,” Vanya lied. She would not dare bring it up to Tilly.

She expected Tilly to keep prodding however Tilly smiled, caressed her arm gently, and waddled away after a while with a yawn taking over her old face.

The rest of the night Vanya stayed in her bed listening to Joan in hers, restless, and occasionally limping her way to Vanya to check on her.

Vanya felt terrible. She was putting Joan through a lot. Joan was easily bothered whenever Vanya fell sick. Even when she would have slight bruises appear the day after rigorous training at her riding lessons, Joan would whine to Vanya about not taking care of her body and fidget throughout the week till the bruises healed on their own.

Vanya waited patiently till Joan fell asleep from tiring herself naturally. It was a little after midnight when Vanya slipped out of her bed, her footsteps bearing no sound, and her hand giving a gentle caress across Joan’s cheek before she went off to Tilly’s porch by herself.

She could not sleep. The visions of the shadow she saw on the way back to Tilly’s haunted her while awake. She knew in her mind it was not the same shadow, the same figure whom she could not make out the face of, who strangled her the night she was fleeing the castle in Esmeth. That ruthless figure was quick and agile, it moved throw darkness, escaping the light altogether.

The figure she saw earlier that day, however, was much slower, passive. Almost as if it was observing her, watching her from a distance, counting the hours when it would have its chance to get to her.

She let herself step onto the shore, her heart beating faster than ever, wondering if it still saw her, if it followed her all the way to Tilly’s.

She scanned the area. From the dark sea to the dense trees at the far distance. There was no one on the beach but her.

Roza…I must find her…I should tell her…

Vanya finally thought of someone she could actually talk to about this with. She could bear it no longer and it was eating her from within. She wanted to hunt it down before it did her. She wanted to poke it back, let it know that she saw it, she knew its intentions, and that she could very well fight back.

Just then, a light appeared from within Rhohaz’s home catching Vanya’s attention. She saw Rhohaz’s shadow walking in his kitchen holding a lamp closer to him. Afraid that he might catch her outside at this ungodly hour she scurried back to the porch before she paused taking a final glance his way.

***

The next day was relatively uneventful. Tilly disappeared for most of the day and Joan whined till Vanya ate three meals all the while the sun was still high above their heads.

Rhohaz was gone. No sign of Roza either.

The two girls strolled along the shore hand in hand discussing how equally uneventful it must be in Esmeth right now since winter was rolling in with chiller days and earlier sunsets taking over their days.

“I wish I could write a letter to Father. Tell him I’m still alive and well. Hopefully, it is only days till I see him and Jade again,” Joan said letting the waves crash onto her feet sinking them in the sand as the water withdrew back into the ocean.

“As soon as we find someone we can trust, one of my Father’s trusted men, we will send word to your family, I promise you,” Vanya said holding on to Joan.

They stayed silent for as long as they could remember. There was a certain level of comfort in being able to bask in your own thoughts while someone accompanied you, company that did not mind your absence in engagement, company that lets you relax with no level of expectation set on you. They both felt it alike. It came naturally to Vanya for Joan was as close of a friend as she had in forever. Although Joan struggled the first year, she mirrored her lady later, falling into a rhythm with Vanya when they would often watch people from the lonely corner of the castle walls that faced the city below.

A rustle of the bushes nearby caught their attention. Instinctively, Vanya pushed Joan behind her with her eyes narrowing in on the noise.

From the bushes emerged a very disheveled Roza. Her hair, as always, blown up around her, and her hand threw her heavy satchel around her shoulder as she lifted her distressed dress to take the next step.

“You scared us,” Vanya said seeing her running down towards them.

“I did not expect to find you two here. Perfect timing, indeed,” Roza sounded more joyous than usual, “I found the berries I’ve been scavenging all month. It’s truly the perfect time, I tell you.”

Roza paused then for a moment looking Joan up and down.

“I’m guessing you already told everything to your sister, then?” Roza asked making Vanya realize she completely omitted telling anything that went on with the Cassian siblings to Joan. Joan too looked innocently at her, with no idea of the extent of damage Vanya had done already.

“I need you tonight, Jade. Joan can come too, of course!” Roza chimed in delight, not letting either of the girls speak. She grabbed onto Vanya’s hand and suddenly made her follow her, “Now, we must hurry and head out soon. The sun will be setting in an hour or so and that is the perfect time to do this.”

Joan held Vanya back making Roza stumble to a halt.

“Um…where are you taking her?” Joan asked, her voice shaking.

“Nowhere harmful, Joan, dear. I promise you, I just need one of you to assist me. If you don’t mind, I would like your sister to come with me since you have a bit of trouble with walking still,” Roza eyed Joan’s bandaged leg.

Joan held Vanya’s arm tighter and furrowed her brows, “No, she goes nowhere without me.”

“Like I said, you can come too, dear,” Roza was persistent and it made Joan oddly uncomfortable.

Vanya, realizing that Joan would not be letting her arm go for a while, nodded and assured Joan, hoping she would understand. It took a moment but Joan released Vanya’s arm anyway.

“She can come too, you know,” Roza spoke to Vanya seeing how Joan withered away to her shell, sulking as if she was a puppy about to be left to itself all night.