9 - The Winter Ball

19th Year, 8th Month, Winter

Known across the realm are mortals for their folly. Far and wide the tales ring, telling time and time again of lessons learned in death and reflection.

It was once a common misconstruance that the gods were divinely exempt, for they held at their fingertips the might of the omnipotent system. And yet, for all their infinite power, the gods too were born of mortal blood. And the gods too met their ends in imprudence.

Such was the case of the god of the riven blade, for his divinity was no match for his neglected instruction. Through an insult weaved for the goddess of war, he found his head severed and his spirit absconded from the immortal realm.

Decreed as so, by the god of death, there existed an end beyond ascension.

Scriptures of the Savage Gods, Verse 17-17

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The quickened pace of my advance was met with a proportional increase in the number of glares. The ghastly warriors who lined the hall looked upon my figure with their faces twisted. But though annoyed by my lack of courtesy and form, none dared to step out of line.

Perhaps, the fault was in part my own. I shot fierce looks all around, hoping that my eyes would call my next opponent. The faster the challengers arose, the faster I wrapped up my duels, the faster I would be able to bring the trial to its conclusion.

My challenger was irrelevant. Vella’s warriors were mere spirits, phantoms who had long fallen in battle. Though perhaps there were a few exceptions among them, the average warrior would barely prove a nuisance. There was nothing that the goddess’ faithful could do to tear my mind from its violet reverie, but by refusing to face me, they robbed me of the opportunity to see more of my future, to see more visions of the life I would lead, with my beloved by my side. And that, perhaps, was why they held back, why they refused to rise to my challenge and open a path to my ultimate destination.

It was a petty, paltry act of defiance, only as effective as it was absurd. We were bound by the rules of the trial. The number of duels I fought was static, irrelevant of the amount of distance between them.

The next fighter had little choice but to emerge when I kicked my legs and broke straight into a gallop. Parting the crowd with a flash of crimson light was a skeletal warrior whose eyes glowed green with envy, and judging from the glowing core in his chest, he was likely some sort of lich.

“He is Glorven, the lost hero of the undead armies. Once hailed as the embodiment of his species’ perfection, he mastered the weaving of might and magic in turn.”

She continued with a number of unnecessary details, something about his overwhelming power, and something else about the friends he fought for. But again, though a few of her words registered in the back of my mind, I paid almost no attention.

I continued to think of nothing but Violet even as I rushed him down. He threw up a magical barrier, but like the gunlance he pointed in my direction, it proved inconsequential.

Both his shield and his weapon were shattered by my hooves, crushed into the same white powder that soon flooded my vision and spirited my mind away.

With its departure entered a magnificent ballroom. Sized for a full herd of moose, it was every bit as large as the average training ground. And yet, the scene was flooded with people. There weren’t so many that it was difficult to get around, but though some of the guests had yet to arrive, the room was creeping closer to capacity.

“Looking around isn’t going to get her here any faster,” said Ragnar, with a laugh. “Grab a drink. Relax, goddamn it.”

“I am relaxed.”

“Bullshit! You’re more goddamn nervous than you were the first time we ran a night raid.” The moth lightly smacked me in the shoulder with both his left fists. “Come on, man. Breathe.”

“I am breathing.”

“Yeah, like a wild fucking hog.” He shook his head and breathed an exaggerated sigh as he brought his wine glass to his lips. “How the hell’d you even get invited again?”

“I kicked the colonel’s ass.” A small smile crossed my lips. The bastard had it a long time coming, and the satisfaction of beating in his teeth was one that had never left me.

“Yeah, I heard. Bonked him hard enough to crack his skull and earned yourself a fat promotion,” he said, with a grin. “Fucking Cadria, man. I swear to god this whole ass country is clinically insane. Literally anywhere else, you’d have been court-martialed instead, not that I’m saying you shouldn’t have done it anyway. He was a real bastard.”

“Yeah, fuck him,” I said, with a grumble. “Honestly, I don’t know why I waited.”

“Right!?” Ragnar took another swig from his glass. “We could’ve lived the high life if you’d just done it earlier.”

“Still can.”

“For like two months,” he said. “I love me some good old nepotism and all, but that just isn’t gonna cut it after what, four years of getting underpaid?”

“Right. You’re going back to Kryddar.”

“Soon as I turn twenty one.”

Smiling wistfully, I looked down at my own glass and gave it a bit of a swirl. It was strange to think that Ragnar would soon be leaving. It’d be a lot less fun without him—not that I had much free time anymore in the first place. My promotion had come with an unfortunate slew of responsibilities, enough that I almost wished I hadn’t defeated the man who once held my place.

“I still can’t believe that your idiot father of yours decided to make you the crown prince.”

A third voice joined the conversation as its owner slipped out of a nearby shadow. While everyone else in attendance was dressed up to at least some extent—even I had slipped on a dress shirt and a vest—Allegra adorned her usual mage’s garb with a warm scarf and a pair of extra fluffy mittens. Needless to say, the eccentric choice earned her a number of whispers and glares.

“My thoughts exactly.” Ragnar shook his head. “The man’s got a few screws loose. I don’t even want to be king.”

“You aren’t nearly refined enough for it.” Allegra pushed up her glasses as she leaned her back against the nearest pillar.

“Says the idiot that didn’t even wear a dress,” laughed the moth.

“And whose fault do you think that is!?” cried the rabbit. She drew her wand and drove it into his ribs. “You literally ate it the moment I looked away! Give it back! Throw it up and give it back before I make you!”

“Woah there! Calm down, lady!” Ragnar raised his arms and feigned surrender. “The hell did you even sneak that thing in here? Pretty sure security was supposed to take it at the door.”

“I have the colonel’s express permission.”

“Uhhh…” Ragnar slowly looked in my direction.

“She did ask, but I definitely said no.”

Allegra shifted the tip of her weapon towards me and put on her brightest smile. “I said, I have the colonel’s express permission.”

“I’m pretty sure threatening a superior officer is enough to get you locked up,” I said.

Allegra ground her teeth. She was never really the type to care much for promotion, but it took her a solid year to get over the fact that I had become her superior. Even in the present, she often cheekily ignored my orders and did whatever she wanted.

“Not if I kick your butt and take your title,” she said.

“Finally, some fucking action!” said Ragnar. “Kick his ass!” He egged the rabbit on with a cheer while I pinched the bridge of my nose.

“Didn’t you literally just try that last week? I’m pretty sure I made you eat dirt.”

“Yeah, but that was last week,” she said. “I’ve finally figured out a workaround for that little fire-cutting trick of yours. I spent three straight days putting together the perfect counterspell.”

I exchanged silent looks with Ragnar before breathing a tired sigh. “Have you considered spending your time on something a little more productive? Hell, I’m pretty sure I asked you to restock the armoury’s mana potio—”

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The ballroom’s door swung open before I could finish my sentence, leaving me to slowly close my mouth as I narrowed my eyes at the most recent arrival. It was not so much the action as the person that stole my attention. Because the white-furred moose who entered the hall was none other than my dear brother.

His outfit was eccentric to say the least, though unlike Allegra’s, it was hardly the product of a moth’s gluttony. He wore a half-unbuttoned, collared, white shirt alongside a dark coat dyed in a perfect jet black. His tie was painted in a variety of yellows and purples, and it was fastened by way of silver chains to the rest of his clothing. Even in the present, I had no idea what the man was thinking. Understanding him had always been completely beyond me.

Whatever his intentions, he clearly seemed to enjoy the attention he garnered, for he swept his eyes across the room with a grin, locking them only for a moment with my own, before approaching an acquaintance and boisterously chattering away.

“You know, if I hadn’t actually seen the two of you in the same place, I’d probably have thought you were the same person,” said Ragnar.

“I was just thinking the same thing,” said Allegra.

“Fuck off. We look nothing alike.”

“I’m not so sure about that one, Virillius,” said Allegra.

Ignoring her, I shook my head and looked back towards the door, just in time to catch Violet’s entrance. I recalled the memory vividly. I knew exactly how beautiful she was in that silver halter dress. And yet, both in the past and present, my brain had ground to a halt.

“Hey, Virillius? You okay? Why’d you suddenly zone o—oh.” Allegra sighed and shook her head after following my gaze. But I paid her no mind. My eyes were stuck on Violet.

I could practically hear my heart pounding through my chest as I took in her perfect form. The random scales scattered across her unblemished skin. The beautiful sparkle that glimmered in her eyes. And the smug grin that crossed her lips as she realised that she had my rapt attention. Giggling, she leaned forward just a little, nearly allowing her bust to escape from its narrow confines.

A gulp made its way down my throat, and another when she teasingly stuck out her tongue.

“I’ll be back in a bit.” Handing Ragnar my drink, I made my way across the hall. But he stepped between us right before I reached her.

“Good evening, Princess Violet.” I couldn’t see his face, only the corner of his eyes when he glanced in my direction, but I could practically hear the sneer Constantius had on his lips. “How blessed we are to have met again.”

“Good afternoon, Lord Augustus,” she said, with a curtsy. “It has been many moons since our last encounter. It pleases me to see you have remained in excellent health.”

“The pleasure is mine, Princess.” He lowered himself to his knees and extended a hand. “Shall we?”

She snuck a glance past my brother’s frame and flashed me a bit of a grin before placing her hand in his. “Gladly.”

I was left standing around, my fingers outstretched and my frozen face as pale as my chalk-white hair. I must have looked absolutely ridiculous, because looking back at me again, she had to fight to stifle a giggle before following my brother onto the dance floor.

My mind raced as I considered their relation. Even my present self was tempted to doubt it, for I remained unbroken from my haunting delusion until I heard the idiots right behind me.

“Holy shit man, you just got cucked,” said Ragnar, with a cackle.

“Stop that, Ragnar,” said Allegra, between fits of laughter. “His imagination is already running wild enough already. You really don’t need to make it worse.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Only after shaking my head did I regain my composure. “The only thing I’m worried about is her safety.” It was clearly a lie. Anyone could tell from the way my hands were shaking. But thankfully, they decided to let it slide.

“She’ll be fine,” said Ragnar. “Not like he’d do anything in public.”

“You say that, but making this a private event is as easy as slitting everyone’s throat.” I took a deep breath and steadied my fists with a clench before making my way across the venue. “We’ll need to be ready for anything.”

The moth and the rabbit exchanged a pair of looks, shrugged, and followed me through the crowd.

“So what are you thinking, exactly?” asked Ragnar.

“Weapons,” I said, as I arrived at the buffet. “We’ll need whatever we can get.” I scanned the tables before grabbing a steak knife and a granny fork off a plate with a roasted bird.

“Seriously?” The moth-man raised his brow. “Hey, uh, Allegra? I think the colonel’s been cucked silly. This might be your chance.”

“It’s better than nothing,” I said with a shrug. “This’ll be long enough to behead him if push comes to shove.”

“How violent. Did seeing me with him really rile you up that badly?”

“Yes,” I said, as I spun around and found Violet clutching her stomach and fighting back her laughter. “Er, I mean, no. This and that are entirely unrelated.”

“In that case, I guess I’ll go dance with him some more.”

I scrunched up my face and grabbed her hand before she could leave, prompting another giggle.

“Goddamn. First you get cucked, and now you’re getting whipped? You okay? Need me to grab a healer?”

“You are a healer,” said Allegra.

“Yeah, but I’m off duty. Not to mention, utterly incapable of fixing that.”

“Oh, shut up, Ragnar.” I breathed a bit of a sigh as I pocketed the fork and the knife. “Do you really need to overreact to every goddamn thing?”

“I don’t want to hear that from a guy in the middle of pulling a kitchen knife on his brothe—”

“The buffet looks amazing. Why don’t we go get something to eat, Ragnar?” suggested Allegra, as she covered his mouth.

“Right, good idea,” said the moth, as he broke free of the binding. “They’ll probably need some space if they’re gonna make out.”

“I was trying to be subtle.”

“Yeah, that’s not gonna work. You seen your waistline recently? You’re about as subtle as a fucking landslide,” he said, with a laugh. “I hope you realise that eating that dress was my way of saving you some embarrassment.”

“Care to say that again?” The cottontail mage drew her wand and filled it with magic.

“Aw, come on! Violence again? Fucking Cadrians, man, I swear.” The moth spread his wings and fled the scene while the rabbit chased after him with her fireballs blazing. Unsurprisingly, they soon became the center of the security team’s attention.

“Your friends are idiots,” laughed Violet.

“Yeah, tell me about it.” I turned towards her and put on my bravest smile. “Care to dance?”

“I would love to,” she said. “But I need to fix my makeup first. Can you accompany me to the powder room?”

“Uhhh… sure?” I stared for a few seconds before scratching the back of my head. “I guess?”

Violet twisted her lips into an adorable pout. “Does the idea of spending time with me really bother you that much, Virillius?”

“It’s not that,” I said, vehemently shaking my head. “It’s just, your makeup looks fine. Or at least, I can’t really tell with how beautiful you are.”

“Me? Beautiful?” She brought her hands to her face, feigned a gasp, and blinked three times for good measure. “I’m pretty sure goats aren’t supposed to be into snakes, Virillius. That friend of yours was right. You really do need a healer.”

“I’m a moo—you know what? Nevermind.” I extended my hand with a sigh. “Let’s just go already.”

“If you insist.” Giggling, she put her palm in mine and followed me out into the hall. Together, we silently walked through the building, arm in arm, away from the rest of the party. We weren’t exactly alone. I could feel her guards’ eyes from afar, taking the form of an especially violent shiver when Violet pulled my wrist into her chest and pressed her body into my side.

The way she held me made it much harder to walk, and the places that my thoughts went when I felt her breath against my hips only made it much worse, but by counting the number of tiles that happened to dot the floor, I was able to retain my composure until we reached our destination.

Still, I couldn’t help but feel reluctant when she detached herself from my arm and slithered through the powder room’s door.

She refrained from shutting it immediately. Popping her face through the crack, she flashed her usual, mischievous smile as she slowly pulled it closed.

“Not going to join mweeek!?” All of a sudden, she screamed and vanished from the gap.

Opening my eyes wide, I wrenched the wooden barrier from its frame and rushed into the room, where I found her still by the entrance. It almost looked like she had fallen. Her stance was much lower, and she was cradling her face in her arms.

“Are you okay? What happened?”

“N-nothing,” she said.

“It clearly isn’t nothing,” I said. “Are you hurt anywhere?”

Sitting down next to her, I realised that her eyes were teary, and that her face was red. It didn’t look like anything was wrong, but I pulled her into my arms regardless, leading her to turn even redder whilst otherwise maintaining her silence.

Eventually, she got back up and pushed me out of the room without another word.

And then, all of a sudden, the memory was gone.

My concern became a faint smile as I returned to reality.

It wasn’t until just a few months ago that I finally learned the truth—that she had pinched her tail when trying to close the door, and subsequently bit her tongue. It was the cutest thing, but she had absolutely refused to admit it in the moment.

“Do you remember, Virillius, why you earned your strength?”

“I do, Goddess.” I took a breath as I fought back the smile that remained on my lips. It was right after my time with Violet that I stumbled upon my brother in the midst of laying a scheme. And it was right after my time with Violet that I was almost made to lose everything I had again. “I needed to be strong to protect myself, to protect my friends, and to protect the woman who stole my heart.”

“And you did just that,” she said. “You became an icon of power, a mighty warrior capable of bending whole armies to your will.”

“Yes. I did.”

“Then why seek even greater heights?”

I didn’t answer her immediately. Closing my eyes, I took a moment to sort through my thoughts. “To see the future that you have shown me.”

There was no deception. It was truly the answer that had arisen from everything that the goddess had shown me. Though there was certainly a period where I thirsted for strength so I could clear my name and claim my vengeance, I had lost sight of my goals upon my brother’s execution.

I only continued to follow my uncle’s—the king's—orders on account of our friendship and history. I certainly tried to work towards Violet’s ideals. But it wasn’t like they had truly become my own. In reality, I was going through the motions, serving as my nation’s general simply because it was what I had done before.

But just as she had when I first lost my way, Vella had given me purpose anew.

When I opened my eyes, I expected to see a look of approval, a sign that I was on the right path. The goddess’ visage, however, was twisted. Her eyes were cold, cold as a harsh winter's night.