16 - Beneath Their Watchful Eyes

1091st Year, 5th Month, Summer

The heavens took notice as her growth persisted. Often was it in jest that her name was spread, and in disbelief that it was repeated. She was a child of just twelve, a dot upon the record, and yet their thrones fell within her reach.

They thought her a work of fiction. But through their celestial lenses they gazed. And in their fears they found her.

Horrified, the old gods unleashed their armies. For six years, they marched from their temples and sang their purpose. For six months, they distilled their schemes. And for six days, they fed her.

For she stood alone against the godblessed armies.

And she emerged alone divine.

Scriptures of the Savage Gods, Verse 17-8

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A scant fifty meters sat between my spear and the throne. The goddess was within my reach. And yet, so too was she standing beyond it.

My body was like sludge. The once-negligible weight had since transformed into a back-breaking burden. It bore down on my shoulders like droplets in a storm, threatening to squash me beneath its staggering pressure. Each step added another boulder, another taxing encumbrance saddled atop my spine. My bones creaked. My muscles trembled. And yet, I continued forward. I continued to push through the almost gelatinous air that filled the space before me.

It felt like I was walking through glue, or perhaps a slime condensed to a million times its usual density. Thick beads of sweat dripped down my brow. They washed down the length of my armour, pouring through the vents built into its frame. My legs were ready to give out beneath me. Still, I pressed on. One small step at a time, I trekked through the goddess’ aura and towards her seat of power.

The effects continued to grow until the space in front of me swirled itself to life. The whirlpool sapped the raw energy out of the air and drained it all away.

The raw divine power formed a dense, pink lump. Like the goddess’ claws, they shone with a dull glow that almost seemed to leak through the temple grounds. The heart pulsed, spreading its vital fluid throughout a network of veins with every drum-like beat. And from them, a network of flesh.

A short, stubby spirit came to life in the space, his hamster-like body adorned by an overcoat meant for a man much taller. It took me a second to recognize it as a pirate’s gear—there was only one small piece of Cadria that extended to the coast, and it was too far north to see much in the way of ships. Even his tricorn hat was unfamiliar, but no more so than the skull-crossed flag that hung from his weaponized pole.

“He is Athrum, the chosen child born to the god of the darkest depths and the goddess of the harvest, long prior to their immortality. He was a perfect warrior, embodying the sea’s wrath in all but form. He likely would have ascended to godhood himself. But he chose foolishly to encroach upon my domain.” The goddess smiled. “And so we dueled. Like you, he was one of the few to set my heart aflutter, a rare warrior whose competence stood far in excess of the norm. Had I not already claimed my seat, it likely would have been his.”

I could tell from the glimmer in his eyes that they were the same type. Like Vella, he relished in combat. That much was clear from the predatory grin on his face and the aura of violence that radiated from his form.

He took up a stance even before she concluded her speech, his eyes searching my body for any signs of weakness, potential targets he could strike to stake his claim to victory.

A small frown on my face, I raised my spear to match and gave my knees a bend.

The moment our eyes next met was the moment we kicked off the ground. His speed was by far superior. He closed the gap between us in no more than an instant. Not even when I rushed to Violet’s side in the future would I be able to match his sheer velocity.

And yet, his speed provided no advantage.

With a light flick of the wrist, I deflected his flagpole with my spear and smashed my shieldlance straight into his neck. I wasn’t quite sure exactly what he was thinking, but he leapt into the air as soon as he recovered. He lifted his flag overhead and prepared to bash it into my skull, but a swing of the head introduced his stomach to my antlers. I drove them through his guts and tore his chest right open. The flick that followed threw him into the ground, and the accompanying stomp crushed his face beneath my feet.

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It was suspiciously easy. I half expected him to rise, to get to his feet and put some weight behind Vella’s words. But there was nothing. He lay twitching on the ground with blood pouring from his chest. It took all of three seconds before he croaked—before my mind was dyed pure white.

When the world returned, I found myself beneath the sky, standing all alone amidst a field of flowers. In the midst of their midsummer bloom, the violet petals craned towards the great blue, taking in the sun goddess’ light.

For a while, I joined them. I joined them in their basking with my eyes closed and my blood red wings spread beneath the heavens. I would have liked nothing more than to be as free of trouble as the burgeoning blossoms, but I was granted no such peace.

My mind raced against wind, churning through a thousand hypotheticals as I contemplated the failures of my past. Before Violet’s grave, they were so much clearer.

Each was like a blade to my chest, a piece of proof that only cemented her fate. Perhaps, if I had better strengthened the northern front before beasts that ruled the Langgbjerns escaped it. Perhaps, if I had better raised my subordinates to handle my work in my absence. Perhaps if I had invested more in our medical systems than those that were meant for war. Perhaps, if I did all of those things, I would have been able to alter her fate.

As each mistake flooded into my mind, I swore to myself not to repeat it. In the future that Vella showed me, they were presented as inevitable. But in the future I would soon grasp, in the thousand years I had yet to experience, I would see them corrected.

Every incident I considered, I committed to memory. Every incident I lamented, I worked through a solution. Every incident I cursed, I carved into my soul.

It was a cycle that repeated until I felt a gaze on my back. When I turned towards it, I found my son, walking through the field with his hands tucked in his pockets. He was older than in the last vision I saw him. Nineteen, maybe twenty, with a bit of stubble growing from his chin and a pair of fiery red antlers magnificent as my own inert ones. If the bags under his eyes were any evidence, he was independent, worked to the point where he understood the pains of adulthood.

If I didn’t know any better, I would have deemed his gaze soulless, or perhaps simply depressed. I almost wouldn’t have been surprised if he pulled out a pipe and set it aflame, but he made no such effort.

Simply walking over to the grave, he joined me in my silent lament, staring at the place she rested as the wind sent our silvery locks aflutter. Though he had already revealed his true shape much earlier, during the one time I’d pushed him in training, he was back in his humanoid form with a white, button-up shirt and a pair of casual dress pants to adorn it.

Anywhere else, he would have had to disguise himself with a full suit of armour. But even my spymasters were banned from my garden. The space was mine—ours—alone.

“I really did love her.” I paused for a moment to steady my voice. My lips were dry and my tongue was tied. Still, I forced the words to leave my mouth. I knew I had to say them. “I loved her more than anyone, anything.”

“I know,” he said, quietly.

“I never wanted to be away from her. Especially not when she was ill.” I clenched my fists. “But I was too weak.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry. I wish things could have been different.”

He closed his eyes and took a breath. “I know. But I can’t forgive you.”

I nodded. “I wasn’t expecting you to.”

I wasn’t going to make excuses. As a father, the very act of ordering his death disqualified me from praise. It being for his own good was of no relevance. I had caused him no end of torment. Even now, his suffering continued. He had to hide his identity before the public eye. Our countrymen knew him only as the nameless knight.

“I tried. I really did. But I don’t have it in me to forgive you.” He took a breath. “I always thought you did it because you hated me, because you felt no love for a needless heir, because I never once lived up to your expectations. But now, I understand.” Raising his eyes from his mother’s grave, he cast his gaze upon me. “You did it because I was your son.”

I nodded. Slowly. It had to be slow. I didn’t want the dam to burst.

“I wasn’t really sure what to do at first,” he said. “When you disowned me, I tried to find my own path. I tried to live a quiet life in a faraway land. I thought I could get away from all of our family’s stupidity. But Vella wouldn’t have it.” His voice was unsteady. His words were barely strung together. “She killed one of my closest friends. She sicced your dogs on one of the others. And she even tried to murder my fox.”

I lowered my gaze. I had always expected her to mess with him, just as she had with me. That was why I had done everything I had in the first place. Evidently, my efforts hadn’t proved as successful as I had hoped.

“Not all the gods are malicious,” he continued. “Some are truly benevolent and graciously offer their boons upon the mortal realm. They extend their aid, save for when they do not feel like it is their right to interfere in our business. But to the rest, we’re nothing but pieces to play with. They find joy in our struggles and relish in our displeasures. When we cry out, they only reply with laughter.” He took a breath. “And Vella is chief among them.”

I bit my lips. But I didn’t refute him. I couldn’t refute him.

“It can’t be helped,” I said, quietly. “The gods are almighty. There’s nothing we can do but bend to their whims.”

“There is something.” A smile crept up onto his lips. It wasn’t the sort of dark look that I had expected with the words that had left his mouth, but a warm, teasing grin. A smirk that reminded me an awful lot of his mother. “We can seize their thrones.”

I opened my mouth, but the world faded away before I could register my thoughts.

I was placed back in Vella’s domain.

Just one step from the throne before me.

Well within reach to wring her neck.