A Portal opens up in the sky as Jake spray-paints a train. An artifact falls out of it and onto Jake's head.
Jake: Hey! Wha-Oh. My.Dude. (He picks it up) JACKPOT!
Guy then walks nearby, holding a GPS.
Guy: Aah. There you are! Thanks for holding it, kid.
Jake: Finders Keepers pal.
Guy, not wanting to altercate with a child, gets down on one knee and plants a hand on his shoulder.
Guy: Buddy. This expensive artifact is really dangerous. It makes portals to other places. We need it back with the adventurers. Got it?
Jake: I stopped listening when you said Expensive.
Guy gives a heavy sigh, before snatching the artifact out of his hands.
Jake: Hey! Give that back!
FIGHT!
Jake attempts 2 punches on Guy, who jerks around them with ease and catches a third. He puts Jake's hands behind his back and lightly kicks him forward, sending him stumbling towards the ground.
Guy: Grow up kid. Now. Gotta run!
Guy waves goodbye and starts to traverse the subway area performing parkour on the stationary trains. When Jake suddenly flies next to him with the Jetpack. He takes the artifact.
Jake: Too bad!
He ascends into the sky and boosts forward, while Guy brings out a few fireworks from his pocket and fires while running. Jake performs a few barrel rolls. The Jetpack then runs out as Jake flails and screams as he falls to the floor, conveniently on super sneakers.
As Guy is about to pick up the artifact, Jake kicks him at high speeds, jumping away immediately and flashing around the area as though he has super speed, creating afterimages.
Jake: Yeah, I'm light on my feet.
In the midst of this, he kicks him 3 times, before Guy blocks with a pickaxe, pushing him back and making Jake backflip as well. Jake goes for another kick, but Guy then uses the pickaxe to tag his boot, creating a hole, which he uses to throw Jake onto another train.
As he's running, he stumbles across a mirage powerup, creating two see-through clones.
Guy: Slow him down.
The clones rush at Jake who is still recovering near the dormant train, with Spraycans with
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angel wings circling his head.
Jake: Ooh that hurts!
The clones arrive and one attempts to punch him, but he dodges and slams it onto the other, causing them both to vanish.
Jake: Gotta catch up.
He hitches a bullet train ride alongside Guy, who is surfing on a normal train.
Guy: Jesus, stay down kid!
Jake jumps from one train to the other and is met with a big right hook which he ducks. The two duck under a roof as the train goes through a dark tunnel. Guy looks at his hands again to find the artifact missing and Jake already on a train in front.
Jake: You can't race me! Not on my turf!
He gains a pogo-stick powerup sending him high into the air, and then another portal opens, which he falls into.
Guy: Oh boy.
He pulls a power-up out of his pocket, which transforms into a canon, before firing himself into the portal, barely making it as it closes. Jake appears in a temple run mine and looks all around, before making the mistake of looking down. He immediately falls as there is no ground but rises back up with a hoverboard.
Jake: Phew. This place is pretty murky.
Guy: Heh. I'll say.
Guy had followed him in a minecart!
Jake: Seriously?
Guy: Uh uh. Don't you start!
While holding the artifact, Jake darts around the mine ducking under various things. Guy does the same.
Guy: Screw it.
He hops out of the cart and darts forward with the invincibility powerup, creating invisible platforms.
Jake: How are you doing this?
Guy: Watch the road!
Jake: (Narrowly avoids a rock) Woah!
Guy finally runs alongside him.
Guy: And gotcha!
The attempt of a bear hug fails as Jake teleports to the side. He probably would have phased through everything anyway.
Jake: Hah! Didn't plan that huh?
Jake then boosts forward as Guy's power-up runs out right as he exits the mine. But he brings out a power-up, which turns into a bow and shoots a fire arrow at his hand, knocking the artifact forward and creating another portal. Back to the subways.
Guy: You have an enormous amount of energy for a child!
Jake: And you have too much energy for a grandpa!
They move neck and neck, as Thomas the tank engine (3 times bigger) speeds through the track, heading for the lane the 2 are in. They both go left and right respectfully as Guy puts on his shield as they barge into Thomas, crushing him and giving him a sweet release from life.
The artifact bounces in front of them as they both begin to run so fast that they flash rainbow-coloured energy barriers. The two barge into each other neck and neck as the artifact switches from the bleak deserted temples, to the luscious swamps of Brave, to the dark, yet wonder-filled forests of Oz, to the uh... a grassy field with an oversized slingshot, a busy science lab showcasing a jetpack, then raid shadow legends, to what seems to be a training ground with a Ninja bouncing on a trampoline.
This universal switch happens all in quick succession, before finally arriving back to the modern, sleek and beautiful subways at speeds now greater than infinity.
Guy then rushes forward in the subway and then charges at Jake with a punch, who in return, does a roll into a flying jump punch of his own. The two clash punches, causing intense shockwaves that destroy the entire city, vaporising nearby buildings and trains, and causing a blast of energy to engulf the two, which rises upwards parting the clouds. The blast continues until it leaves Earth's atmosphere, all cumulating in a giant explosion.
Silence.
The sky, now apocalypse-dark, rains upon the large crater that was once a thriving city. Both our heroes are nowhere to be seen. The artifact bounces and bounces making a thud each time it hits the ground. And then it stops bouncing and lands at someone's feet.
The camera slowly pans upwards, revealing pheinox wings which soon fade away.
Guy.
He looks around at the destruction his petty fight caused. And looks back at the artifact, picking it up before looking at the remnants of Jake's cap.
Guy: It wasn't worth it. Not a bit.
He slowly walks away as the cap blows into the air, covering the camera.
KO!