Charlie couldn't take his eyes off of Sabrina. Her soft breathing was music to his ears, her bare chest rising and falling was almost lulling him to sleep. No matter how exhausted he was, his mind didn't allow him to sleep. It was just too giddy!
They lay beside each other naked, tucked under the blankets. Charlie was counting his good luck that Franky was finally away for an evening. This was their first night alone since they became a couple.
It was exhilarating and it was unbelievable for Charlie. The soft light of the night illuminated just the right places and for the second time in his life, Charlie felt butterflies in his stomach.
His best friend, his first crush and his only love was right there – sleeping blissfully beside him. Charlie couldn't help but reminisce over their time together. Friends for 9 years, hunting partners for 2 and companions for a few weeks.
It was everything he could have wished for.
Sleep gently came to him as his thoughts got more and more sidetracked. Dreams of their future and past were slowly forming as his eyes grew heavier. Until he finally slept.
It was a rare moment in his life, but he felt at peace.
Though no matter how good your sleep is, you cannot escape reality. Sometimes you need to wake up and pee.
Looking around blearily, eyes still crusty with sleep, he sees that it’s still pitch black.
‘Oh thank fuck, I can still sleep some more after this,' he thought.
Charlie looked around and even though he could barely see anything, he could tell Sabrina wasn’t in her bed. Now that he thought about it, the bed felt cold without her here.
'Huh.'
Getting out of bed he made his way to the bathroom, trying his hardest to stay as close to asleep as possible. It wasn't a huge deal, but being too awake to sleep was just downright annoying.
With his still sleeping brain, Charlie couldn't help but feel that something was amiss, or maybe it wasn't. He couldn't quite tell either way. He'll figure it out after, maybe in the morning if he'll remember any of this.
Walking back out of the bathroom, Charlie noticed the kitchen door was open and a cold draft came from that direction. Shivering slightly he walked over and snuck a look inside the kitchen. The back door was wide open with wind fluttering the table cloth.
Even half asleep, Charlie could tell that something was wrong. He quickly ran around the house in search of Sabrina but couldn’t find a trace of her. He’d found a few knocked over items in his search though.
Running out the back door, Charlie had found one of Sabrinas socks strewn on a low piece of rubble.
'How the fuck did I not hear any of this? What the fuck happened?' he thought, mind ablaze.
He was still half naked and couldn't just sprint out in search of her. He threw on his shirt and found some loose pants. Put on his belt and equipped some of his smaller daggers.
He wasn't left trying to figure out where to go for too long, it seemed that Sabrina was intent on getting found. There were clothing items strewn amongst the streets.
The more he ran the worse his anxiety got. Each street was empty now and there have been no new pieces of clothing for him to follow. His breathing became more desperate and dark thoughts started to fill his mind with each new block covered.
A sock! He found another sock! A wave of energy washed over him, comforting him ever so slightly. At least it let him know that he still had a lead.
With renewed vigor, Charlie continued the chase with all that he had. Though Charlie couldn't quite tell, and there being so many articles of clothing tossed, the kidnapper was either a moron or a creature. He really hoped for the former.
The deeper into the city the path he took, the harder it was to keep track of where the next article of clothing would be. The further away from civilization, the worse the rubble and crumbling buildings got.
It had been a while since the last piece of clothing and Charlie only got more worried as time passed. The evening was plenty bright thanks to the naked moon, with the only clouds being in far in the distance.
He saw them. There were some men in dark clothing huddled in the cover of a random building. At their feet Charlie could make out a faint figure. It had to be her.
He closed the distance slowly, darting between low walls and mounds of rubble. Now only an empty street was all that was left between them, though it would more than likely expose him if he were to try and cross is carelessly.
His anger threatened to overtake at any moment, but he knew he couldn't be stupid about this. There were three men and he didn't believe they'd come unarmed to kidnap someone from a settlement.
He knew he had to wait for them to take a break. One of them would have to piss, or better yet take a lonely walk. He hoped that the moment would arrive soon as he couldn't be sure that there was much time to begin with.
Charlie didn’t have to wait long. One of the men guarding Sabrina said something and walked away from her. The three men grouped up at a low wall. He couldn't tell if it was by luck or miracle, but a lonesome cloud passed over the moon, giving him the chance to close the gap.
Controlling himself and not allowing his anger to take over, he took quick but quiet steps towards the group. He had made it across the street and was just one building over. He had a line of sight.
One of the men seemed to be carrying maybe a knife on the backside of his belt, another seemed unarmed. The final man Charlie couldn't make out fully, but didn't dare to believe that two out of three men were unarmed. He didn't even believe the other man was unarmed, it was too stupid to rely on what he could just see.
Charlie took out a dagger from his belt and really wished he had something in his left arm to defend himself with. He didn't have the time to prepare properly but at least he had a weapon.
One of the men had shifted slightly and blocked the line of sight of the other two men. Using the mans body as cover, Charlie snuck out and was able to place himself just below the man.
It was do or die and Charlie had the advantage right now. He picked up a nearby rock and threw it over his head as hard as he could, behind the group. They all were startled by the sudden sound and turned instinctively.
Not letting the moment slip by his fingers, Charlie shot up and shoved his dagger into the neck of the first man. It was a lot harder to slit a persons throat than he ever imagined and thanked his lucky stars that Franky had taught him a bit about it.
Never drive the knife on the surface of the neck, plunge it deep and force it forward. You need to cut through the esophagus and this is the easiest way. It wont be an instant death, but at least it'll be quieter.
Charlie ripped the dagger out of the man’s throat and left the man desperately trying to clutch at his wound. The man might have been quiet, but his hands and body were still able to make noise, giving Charlie away to the other two men.
The two men were stunned to see another man quickly approaching, while one of their men who they just spoke to was clutching their mangled throat. It wasn't much time, but it still took a second for them to come to terms with what's going, and Charlie capitalized on their mistake.
Charlie lunged forward with his dagger, intending to sink it deep into the second mans chest. It only took a second to reach him, but it wasn't enough to outright kill him. The man turned slightly in the nick of time and was able to take the knife between his ribs. It wasn't fatal but he wished it were.
The dagger slid through the gap in the ribs and hit the lung. The mans protests deflated with his lung and he fell backwards.
The last man wasn't still this entire time and had taken out his machete from somewhere Charlie didn't see. When Charlies dagger entered the second man, the third had already started his swing down on Charlies body.
Instead of trying to yank out his dagger, Charlie decided to leave it in the man and dodge the machete flying at him. Unfortunately he didn't react quick enough and took an awful gash on his arm.
It stung. He knew it should feel much worse, but he couldn't feel it. Adrenaline coursing through his blood powered him right now.
Using his good arm Charlie took out his last dagger and tried to add some distance between them, but the man was already charging forward.
Charlie tried to defend but he was still mid movement in an enclosed space, receiving another laceration on his hip. This one stung more.
The mans face was contorted in anger, but Charlie couldn't see it. He was fully concentrated on how to overcome this, or better yet, how to survive this.
The man held his machete in his right arm, his left was swinging wildly. He had just swung down and was re-orientating himself. There was no time to think about it. He saw the moment and he took it. Instead of lunging away from the machete that just cut into him, he lunged forward and overwhelmed the final man.
They both crashed onto the floor with a heavy thud and a clang from their weapons.
Charlie was the first to right himself before delivering his entire weight through the elbow into the mans face. Charlie felt the mans nose crumble and felt a touch of satisfaction.
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The man grasped around for anything and latched onto some dust, throwing it on Charlies face. The dust hit Charlie in the eyes and temporarily blinded him. Though blinded, he wasn't stupid. He still had the man in his arm and he still knew where his face was.
Charlie attempted to punch down but didn't realise that the arm he used to hold down the man was the one that got cut up. It just wasn't as strong and wasn't up to the task. Finding that weakness, the man pushed Charlie off and delivered a powerful punch that finally rocked Charlie.
The man stood up and made way to Charlie as he clutched his nose. The steps Charlie could hear making their way to him were suddenly overtaken by another thud.
"Charlie! Charlie are you okay?" whimpered Sabrina as she crashed near him.
"Sabrina, what happened?" Charlie asked, still getting the dust out of his eyes.
"I killed him. He's dead, so don't worry we're safe!" she said.
With Sabrinas hands trying their best to soothe Charlie, he allowed himself a moment to let his heart calm down. Charlie sighed before asking Sabrina a question.
"Can you explain what happened?"
As Sabrina explained the story of how she got kidnapped, Charlie ripped up his shirt and tourniquetted his limbs. She had been asleep but randomly woke up and decided to go out for some fresh air. While she was out there she had either been too sleepy or they were just very quiet, but they were able to get the drop on her. They quickly shoved a ball of cloth in her mouth and dragged her away.
Thankfully she had the presence of mind to remove some of her clothing in an attempt to leave a trail. She didn't actually think Charlie would wake up and find her, but she hoped that they weren't taking her too far and could be tracked in the morning.
Both sides of their story concluded when they finally got home. Charlie quickly got some strong alcohol and poured it over his lacerations. God it was painful, but he'd prefer to keep his limbs for the time being. No one knew what you could catch out there.
“You’re so fucking stupid baby, you’re so dumb,” she cried.
"I know you saved me, I know. I know that something awful could have happened to me but I just can't get the image of you getting cut up out of my head. There were three of them baby! I.. I-"
They were both on the floor covered in his blood but he couldn't help but pull her in close and let her sob into his chest. It physically hurt, but she needed him just as he needed her warmth.
"It's okay sweetie, we're safe."
------
In the early hours of the morning, Charlie and Sabrina made their way over to Franky to explain what happened. Sabrina was more collected but still struggled to get through the story without choking up. Charlie had taken over when she couldn’t continue anymore, replaying the events from his side of things.
Franky thanked Charlie profusely at the end of the story, tears welling even in his eyes. The fear of losing both his daughter and his future son in-law was enough of an excuse.
Franky had woken up the nearest medic and they had immediately stitched up Charlie’s leg. It was a crude job, and they knew it, but it would have to do. At least Charlie was told that he’d have no issues walking after it’s healed up, the machete had missed any crucial arteries and tendons.
The rest of the day was all a blur to Charlie and before he even noticed, he was already back in bed. Annoyingly, his leg and arm throbbed at all times.
Now having been given some time to himself, he couldn't help but relive the act of his first and second murder. The night air felt extra cold for some reason, not even his blanket was able to ward off that chill.
At first it was just a tear that rolled down his face, but soon many followed. He couldn't stop them and just let it happen.
No matter what he told himself, no matter if he was not at fault – he still killed them. He didn't even think twice about it, he made that decision so easily.
Maybe there was a way to incapacitate them?
Maybe he should have gotten backup? No, then they would have been even further away and maybe he wouldn’t have found her...
Was there another way?
He cycled from blaming himself for their deaths to blaming them for being stupid enough to attempt to kidnap someone. Not even allowed the simple reprieve of a dreamless night, Charlie as visited by his dead father in his nightmares.
---------
The fire in the middle of the camp crackled away, sputtering small embers into the wind. The wind carried both light and smoke over the tents, giving them a soft glow. The group that sat at the campfire underneath the brush and trees felt like they were camping out. Well, almost.
Charlies coarse fingers ran over her bloated stomach, feeling each lump on her belly. Sabrina couldn’t help but smile when she saw his face light up the moment they both felt a small kick.
“He’s a feisty one, isn’t he?” said Charlie.
“I guess she takes after his dad then,” Sabrina laughed.
“He, she, whatever. I hope they're this feisty when they come out,” Charlie teased back.
“I just know she will be. My only worry is raising her among all these stinky men,” she said.
Charlie stood up, feigning having taken offence.
“Oh so if I got stinky, you’d leave me?” he said, mouth agape.
Sabrina looked down at her stomach while trying her best to not laugh. She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.
“Don’t become like your dad, two stinky monkeys will ruin me.”
The two continued their banter for a moment longer, fully savouring it. They were rare during trips of this length.
Charlie stood up but let his eyes linger a little longer on that small lump. His wife was lit up by the light of the campfire and her hands gently stroking her belly was a sight he couldn't get enough of.
He didn’t want to let go of the moment, but he knew he had to. There were things that needed to be discussed with the group and they couldn’t be postponed any longer.
Kissing his wife goodbye, Charlie turned to the huddled cohort. Eight people sat around the fire and 5 more were currently doing something else with all of their belongings. There were many moving parts to a clean settlement move and everyone had their role to fill.
Taking a seat beside Ralph and Franky, he cleared his throat.
“Well look-y here, a soon-to-be father blessing us with his presence,” said Franky, smiling from ear to ear.
“Ah leave him alone, ever since we got on this trip, he’s probably been unable to even really have a moment alone with her,” Ralph said, turning to Charlie.
“Let alone take a good look at her,” Ralph laughed.
The campfire broke into a quiet laughter.
"Yeah yeah, leave me alone. She's not able to stand much these days and we both think the baby is coming soon. I just want to be there with her a bit more," Charlie said.
"Yeah we know, no need to get so sappy Charlie," Ralph teased.
“Fine fine, at least you're taking good care of her. But honestly, how is she doing?” Franky said, nodding his way in Sabrina’s direction.
“Ah she’s good, a bit weak and I'm sure plenty sore. The bump is getting bigger every day and even felt him kick just earlier,” Charlie said, putting his hands closer to the fire.
“Ah well look, I'm happy that you're making time for her, even now. I'm proud of you, son,” said Franky.
Lightning ran through his spine when he heard the last word leave Frankies lips. It was so strange. It felt so warm and yet so cold hearing those words. Like they both mean the world to him and that they're not even reaching him. His heart wanted to take those words in so badly.
Seeing his struggle Franky continued. “Don’t worry about it lad, just keep doing what you’re doing.”
“Yeah... yeah I will,” sighed Charlie.
The two then sat in amicable silence in front of the fire, slowly warming their fingers up. It might be blisteringly hot during the day, but the night is its equal. The lack of clouds in most areas they’ve passed has made their evenings that much colder, easily falling below zero.
“Alright guys, we need to talk about tomorrows route, the provisions and to check over our equipment,” said Charlie, clapping his hands against his knees and standing up.
“Aight boys, lets lock it in and pay attention. Donny, you take out the map. Brent, you’ve got the ledger for the provisions, Charlie you’ve got the weapons covered am I right?” said Franky, taking charge.
“Yeah, I got them,” Charlie said as he started walking away. He was going to check out everyone’s weapons for any kinks or nicks they’ve accumulated over the course of the journey.
Spending all that time on fussing over his weapons as a child has earned him an invaluable spot in the group. Everyone lives a little longer if their weapons were in good shape.
It takes a long time, but eventually he tosses aside the last piece of gear and finally has a bit of breathing room. He walks back to the dwindling fire and takes a seat right by Ralph once again.
Charlie looked over to Sabrina’s tent. Even though he couldn’t peer inside, he knew she’d be snuggled up with all of the blankets they had available. He could see her soft face poking out of the covers and her hands over her belly.
Even though he was happy beyond compare, he couldn't cool his wild mind. He kept imagining the next location being in a worse state than the last. No buildings that had a roof, or maybe no wall large enough to break the chill in the wind. So many things could go wrong.
Nothing matters and everything can be solved given time. It's for them, so stop thinking about tomorrow, you're here now.
In the years that had flown by, Charlie had learned how to calm himself down. Learned that there was time and space for his feelings, learned how to control them and to never let them have full control again. It was a way for him to completely sever the connection he had with his father - becoming more than him and growing past him.
He was present. The nip in the wind that brushed over his skin. The fire bringing warmth and the scent of smoke. The weight of his clothing and weaponry on his body. He was present.
“Yo man, you alright?” asked Ralph.
Charlie exhaled a deep breath.
“Yeah man, I’m all good. Just getting the bad thoughts out,” Charlie replied.
“Good man, good. Look, we’re nearly halfway there! I hear there’s more than just ruins out there. More to life than us living in that filth,” Ralph said with a rising excitement.
“Firstly, that filth was our home just a few weeks ago, and secondly - Yeah of course I heard, Donny’s told everyone what that traveller said."
Ralph clicked his tongue and slapped his knee, “and this is why you only see half the story.”
“Shut the fuck up," sighed Charlie.
“So what if there’s a better life, who cares? But but but... But what if there’s more than just that? What if there’s some nice… how do you say... titties?” smirked Ralph.
“Ugh…” said Charlie, his fingers holding the bridge of his nose.
“Man, shut up. You’ve got Sabrina. What do I got? Nothin’. There’s no women in our group. What is a man gotta do but wish for some big ol’ titties when he’s out here, starved like a Warg,” Ralph said, with a face that mixed both humour and bewilderment.
Ralph put his hands together and donned a serious expression, head drooping a little lower.
“Man you don’t get it… I’m so fucking dry right now that I’ve caught myself looking at sexy shapes all around me…” Ralph confessed.
“Shapes all around you? What?” Charlie said, confused.
“Shapes man! Like… two boulders fall over or something. They sorta... and I mean sorta look like titties from a distance!"
"Or, or listen, like earlier there was this hole in a tree and I…” said Ralph.
“No…” Charlie quietly gasped.
“No listen… I saw the hole and I just… Man please believe that there will be titties in the next place, for me… please, I can’t do this no more…” Ralph said, losing all strength in his voice.
After a few moments of stillness, Charlie perked up and grabbed Ralph’s shoulder.
“There will be so many titties you wont know what to do with them, man,” stated Charlie resolutely.
Ralph’s face brightens in a flash.
The two continued to talk in hushed tones of what they could see in the next city. Riches, women, a new life, un-ruined buildings, women, a semblance of society and fairness. And women.
Charlie knew his friend was a little childish. Ralph never seemed to fully grow up like the rest of them. He didn't know why but he didn't mind either. Ralph was a little bit of silly fun and only God knew how much that was appreciated.
The fire was put out but the coals were collected and placed into thin metal boxes. Rectangular in shape and just long enough to be height of an average man. They slipped the hot boxes underneath the raised beds and set off for the night. They'd keep them warm until the morning.
There was still more to do, though. They had developed another way to stealthily make camp out in the wilderness. They raised boards that matched the colour of the surrounding foliage all around the camp. It had a multitude of benefits and with, what they assumed were fair, tradeoffs.
They kept the wind out, kept their scent somewhat contained and even blocked out some of the smaller nocturnal creatures that couldn't help but try to nip at their food stock. It did make them a larger target in theory but they hoped that the bigger creatures slept at night.
Charlie helped with the set up and was starting to really feel the cold bite in the wind. Hurrying inside the tent he was greeted with a pleasant sight.
His wife lay there in front of him with her blankets nuzzled up to her cute chin. Her bump rising and falling with each breath.
After shaking himself out of his stupor, Charlie quickly went inside and closed the leather flap. He undressed himself and slid underneath the blankets into the warm embrace of his wife.
Laying there he thought about the future. He thought about his wife and his child living in a place where they don’t have to worry about the consistent pressure of the feral wildlife. It was a good thought, one easy to fall asleep to.