It was cold.

So…so cold.

I sat up. The wooden bench I slept on was a moldy mess, and even more so, rotten. Not that I could complain. I saw through the small strands of hair that covered my vision, the morning sun rising high above my hometown. The black Shattered Mountain sat next to it. It was a beautiful sight. A sigh escaped my lips as I ran my hands through my grey hair.

Oh.

That’s right, I have grey hair, grey eyes, and in a funny coincidence a grey robe. Guess it’s pretty stylish, at least for a rat like me.

My sleep had been nice, well…for the sleep I could get. I was quite too shaken to sleep. I got up from the bench with a groan. My battered body was sore, and I could not really care less about anyone hearing the strange sound come out of my lips. Laughable I know.

The martial shoes I wore took a step forward, the beaten stone path of the village stretched in front of me. “I seem to have slept more than I usually do, I guess it must be a side effect.” I scratched at my nose and patted my empty stomach. The slimness of me must’ve been terrifying to see.

I am quite hungry, not that that’s rare. I am always in hunger, and thirsty. I also was cold partially due to not having enough energy to produce enough bodily heat to suppress the morning chill. That was to be expected from a village where rain had been eternally cursed to fall at twilight.

I walked along the path silently, so as to not wake the villagers of the familiar town. I could not find the mental capacity to curse them in any way, of course I wouldn’t say it out loud, but it would be nice to curse everyone as I left to Fade in loneliness.

Oh that’s right, I’m Fading.

Fading is not a pretty process, but neither was it terribly painful. I can recall the night of my 16th birthday that I ate my pie facing towards the ocean, yet the pie did not last long in my stomach due to it being expelled out of my body after I looked at my hand and found that it was slowly disappearing.

At least sleep delayed the process a little.

I would be transported to the Vast soon enough. Not that I expected to live.

In truth I felt a cold shiver when I thought of death. The pit-like feeling in my waist when I realized that I was dying was not pleasant either, but I’d always been suppressing these damned emotions in my life. Thinking I would prevail and one day be happy in peace.

I cast empty prayers towards an even emptier fate.

My own solace was not enough to suppress my laughter as the thought of fate filled my mind. Fate was such a mysterious thing, it probably didn’t even exist. However it had led us all into ruin. I was barely even an example of it. There were countless examples. Warfare, slavery, crime. Those were just simple things.

The eldritch horrors of the Vast, the species that invaded it as well. The cast aside rag of humanity that prayed for salvation towards a dead god. Children cursed to roam a strange land, doomed to either die a meaningless death or live a life of immeasurable suffering.

God I sound so cringy right now. Yet it’s all true. The Vast was unforgiving, and the Fading even more. I was just a small unlit torch in the sea of darkness, sadly I had been doomed to never be lit. There was simply no reason for me to survive.

I had no name, no family. The only things I own were simply worn by me. My world was empty. Grey.

Haha.

Grey…

Enough with the edgy storytelling. It’s not that I have no hope for a better future, frankly I wish nothing but that. As a human I just want to lay in bed and complain about things that don’t matter, want things just because, and do things because I can.

Of course that meant being someone I was not, simply because I was poor, weak, and I had not matured enough to look for a job. The world was truly broken apart, at least humanities was. I did not care about that right now though. I was too small to care about such a thing.

The eldritch horrors? Screw them. Fate? If I could, I would spit on it. Death?

I was scared.

I just.

I just wanted to live.

My vision blurred a bit as I realized this, but the tears were wiped away by the hem of my sleeve. I was too busy to cry, and too prideful to admit I wasn’t. Hell, I mean I’m being ripped from my fleshly body for god’s sake.

I just wanna go die in peace.

Damn hypocrite.

I had been walking for about a minute. The hill I was walking towards was not far from here. That was what was nice about living in a crummy village, most things were about a 10 minute walk to and from. It was nice to be able to walk wherever I wanted in a short time.

Of course other methods of transportation were long outdated, simply because we couldn’t afford to continue to issue them out to what was left of our cracked world.

I kept walking, enjoying the view of my misty home. The forest stretched out towards the mountain past the hill I was walking towards, that’s where we went to hunt for food. To the right of the mountain was the ocean. Which daringly I say was beautiful, unlike what many people thought.

The ocean was now tinted an extremely dark blue, due to an accursed Forsaken who walked into it, and effectively fused with it. The power it had was immense. Thankfully it was not interested in flooding the world.

Humans however did steer clear of it.

I walked onto the cold and wet grass, a mixture of morning dew and water droplets from the rain of the night before caressed my leg. It was cold, but I continued walking. I was straying from the path. The lonely hill I walked up overlooked the village.

I continued to wander up the hill in silence. My mind filled with nothing but the monologue that recounted my every action and feeling. I could feel my clothes against my skin, each blink I had to will, and was not subconscious. My breathing became manual as I realized the surrealness of the situation I was now in.

“What did I even live for?” My every step was heavy. The martial shoes I wore were soaked, yet I continued up the hill of untrimmed grass. The greenery was beautiful, but I simply could not care. I looked at the now brighter sky.

The heavens were entrancing, but I could not continue looking. Instead what filled my vision was the top of the hill. For some reason this small climb towards the top felt like a finale of sorts. I was terrified deep down, and I felt so many things. Yet none of them could stop the resolve I felt towards climbing this meaningless hill. I broke out in a sprint. Towards the top of the hill.

I forced my legs to move, even if they would have either way. My throat was sore, and my lips dry.

I had reached the top.

However whatever I awaited to happen was simply a scream into the abyss. Amidst my panting the special feeling that shackled my rationality as I practically sprinted up the hill was simply gone. I was still going to Fade. I was still hungry. I was still…

I was still going to die

And so…I sat. I sat on the wet grass, and I faced towards the dark ocean. A small sigh escaped my lips. “What did I really expect?” The cold and wet feeling of my clothes slowly soaking in the wet grass was sharp. It made me jolt slightly, but I quickly stopped caring about it.

My panting ceased eventually, and once it did I opened my eyes which I had closed while I let my body catch its breath. I looked towards my arm. A pained chuckle resounded throughout the surroundings.

It was almost fully transparent. My arm was almost gone. My breathing hurried. My vision blurred, and the sound of my powerfully beating heart filled my hearing. I was horrified. I had not realized I did not have much time left.

I had never felt the helplessness I had just now ever in my measly little life.

I had taken the rues of my life in vain, the enjoyment of it was wasted on my measly monologues that broke down everything into comparisons of what could be better in my life. I appreciated the small things, but only when I thought of it.

I took things and shaped it so that my convenience would be the only thing I ever cared about, and I regret that. Yet I can’t really change that now can I?

Unknowingly I had realized now, what I hadn’t in years. Or maybe I simply refused to acknowledge the problems already apparent to me.

Humans were funny creatures, they focused on problems when it affected them, and while others might not just focus on that, many did. Insanely that’s what this whole monologue is either way. I’m simplifying the reality of how other humans view the world, so that it may seem like I am “Normal.”

This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

Yet truly I was simply only caring for myself in a selfish nature. Truthfully I lived my life not caring about the people who Faded.

The endless war of the Vast? Meh. The doomed Earth slowly decaying? I had to focus on getting food so much to the point I couldn’t care less if the Earth disappeared.

However death simply cut all paths away from me. I was truly faced with the reality of my problems. Is this why my reaction is so strong? I looked towards the almost clear arm I clutched in fear. It was shivering, along with my entire body.

I took deep breaths.

My eyesight focused on the sight ahead of me. The Shattered Mountain lay ahead of me along with the ocean. It was beautiful. The mountain was like a titanic guardian which guarded his village, and the ocean a beautiful yet hellishly dangerous biome that was now tainted by an invader.

Soon, my calm nature returned. It was not easy, and I was still scared. Deep rooted fear now lay in me, and if I were to survive, this would surely come back to haunt me. However even despite this I suppressed all my emotions as I looked towards the ocean.

I thought of a corny line. For some reason I decided to say it. “This is really it huh?” Lame. Oh so lame. I chuckled.

I closed my eyes, and laid on the cold and wet grass. I took a deep whiff of my surroundings.

Salty. The ocean still had its main traits, not really much had changed, it was just apparent that a truly terrifying aura had entered its very existence. Curiously I had always wanted to take a sip of it, though he’d never tell anyone that.

Earthy. The wet ground was exuding the smell of its state after the rain stopped. The almost wetlands of the village smelled very earthy, and the smell of dirt and rain was carried in the air. I enjoyed this smell the most. To me it represented simplicity, and sometimes.

It represented the ending of a storm. As if it were a mark of victory.

A sigh escaped my lips as I thought of the mountain. It was truly a beautiful mountain. It had once been complete, however a Faded once fought there, and it was a truly harrowing battle. It had left some of the mountain in pieces, and part of it completely shattered.

I severely wanted to climb it. It was important to me, and part of it was because for some reason I felt as if it called out to me. I felt like if I were to escape civilization I would find my purpose. Maybe even a name.

That however was crushed by my current reality.

I took another whiff of the air. It was cold. However it also made me open my eyes in shock. I smelled the scent of floral perfume. It had a very nice smell that made me feel a mixture of emotions, I could not shake the smell of it out of my mind.

I sat up, and as I did the very first words I’d heard in days entered my ears.

“You’re turning clear too aren’t you?” My brow twitched. It was a feminine voice. I turned towards the source of the sound, but hissed in pain due to the bright light of the sun. The sun’s glare darkened the silhouette of what looked like a woman with long hair that draped over her body.

“What do you mean ‘too’?” I cupped my hand and covered the sun’s light from entering my eyes with it. Similarly the girl stepped away from the sunlight. Then I was able to see what she looked like.

She wore a simple white sundress, accompanied with a necklace that was silver in color. She had long brown hair that was a nice contrast with the white dress she wore.

It reminded me of autumn.

Now he was not exactly a person to handout compliments out in vain, and he also didn’t really care much about beauty as some seemed to. Probably because of the way he had lived, but that didn’t matter in the face of this girl.

Her face was neat, and her skin was pale. Her features were not exactly sharp, but not soft either. They were simply the feminine features. I was not exactly sure how to describe it other than beautiful.

A mole lay under her right eye.

‘Now I didn’t wanna get ahead of myself, sure she’s pretty, but she isn’t some peerless beauty. However I still…’

He still felt drawn to talk to her.

“Sorry, I forgot that the sun was right behind me.” She gave a light smile. However, that wasn’t the focal point of my vision.

None of it was. Not the beautiful dress, or the refined face.

Instead my eyes focused on her arm. It was clear. Just like mine. “Ah…I see.” I sighed. “It’d be pretty strange if you didn’t by now.” I heard a small chuckle. “I saw you running up the hill. Quite the show you put up there huh?” I felt my cheeks turn hot.

“I needed to get my steps in y’know?” Thank god for dumb comebacks.

“Uh-huh.”

She shifted her arms, and walked a bit closer to me. “So what’re you doing here?” My gaze looked at my clear arm, then back at her. “Oh just on a regular morning walk. You?” She rolled her eyes. I found it a bit cute, but that thought was shoved deep down into the pit of my already turbulent mind.

“That’s not what I meant. Why are you sitting here alone? Shouldn’t you be saying goodbye to your loved ones you fool?” I scoffed. “What loved ones?” She scoffed back. “Wow, that’s a miserable existence.”

I laughed audibly. Never had someone laid it that upfront to me. “Yknow, you’re up here with me aren’t you?” She reluctantly nodded. “Guess you’re right.” She turned towards the ocean. “So where do you think you’ll end up in the Vast?”

I felt my gaze shift. “I-uh. I don’t know. I don’t really think I’ll make it far. I don’t really plan to.” I habitually lightly scratched my arm. I was a bit nervous. Clearly for good reason. As when I paid attention to her expression it changed. “So you’re giving up just like that? I thought you were up here declaring a promise to survive to the world or something.” I shook my head lightly. “Nuh-uh.”

She sat next to me. I looked closely at her expression. It seemed like she wanted to tell me off, or say something.

I wished and prayed she did.

To give me a reason to keep going because truly, I wished to. Yet when I did. I was weighed down by some pressure.

The fear of failure.

However what came out of her mouth instead surprised me. “Lame.” I scoffed, this time a bit more offended. She had decided to say that. Of all things. “I’ll have you know, I didn’t quite sign up for this you know? It’s not counted as giving up, if I was never up for it in the first place.”

Her laughter felt like pins and needles piercing my rationality. “You know you’re funny. Lame, but funny.” My face felt even warmer. “Okay then, you tell me. Are you living in fear of death?” Hypocrisy at its finest. At least I made it seem like I wasn’t afraid.

However my smugness disappeared when I saw her smile fade. Her expression darkened. I struck the nail perfectly it seems. “So what? I do. I’m terrified of it. Yet I haven’t given up yet like you!” I bickered back. “It isn’t giving up if I was never up for it!”

“Quit with the lame excuses!” I laughed. However I realized my mistake.

I heard a sniffle. Shit.

When I turned to face her, as I had not been due to not wanting to show my awfully pink face, I saw her once clean face now smudged with tears. It wasn’t something I wanted to see. It was not exactly a violent cry. It was as if the tears just decided to slip out of the orifices of her eyes. She did not even look like she was crying. Yet she still hugged her knees close.

“I-I’m sorry.” I was a bit panicked. She however ignored my apologies. Shaking her head instead. “No, I'm sorry. I don’t know what I even mean by lame. We’re both dying aren’t we?” My heart shook. This conversation was taking a turn for the worse. I don’t know what to do…

“I don’t really know why you’re apologizing. I was simply bickering with you because of my frustration that everything is being cut from me. Quite literally I am being ripped from my body.” I paused and looked at my Faded body. The clearness had now spread to most of my upper chest. “Truth is…well my truth is that I am afraid of death, just like you are. It’s a silly thing we’re arguing over, being afraid of death or not. I really think that fear is just something natural in us, yet I’m forced to suppress it in the face of my survival.”

“Don’t say things like you just did. Whether we die or not is decided by our future. Not by my edgy ranting about how I won’t make it far in the Vast.” I stammered a lot during this speech, but it came out clear otherwise. I sighed.

No response came. I didn’t really want to look at her face. A while passed before the sniffling I heard stopped. “Thanks.”

“It’s fine.” My heart ached. She wiped her face with her hands. After a bit of silently sitting there she talked again.

“What’s your name?” I drew in a sharp breath.

“I don’t…have one.”

“Oh.” I looked down a bit shamefully. I was a bit embarrassed. We sat there in quietness once again. The wind blew quietly.

“Not gonna ask what mine is?” The realization hit me that I probably should’ve. “I was just about to.” I lied. “What is it?”

“Don’t laugh.” She pouted. “Trust me, I definitely think I’m in no position to.” She smiled. “You’re right.” She stood up straight and looked me in the eyes. Her eyes were grey like mine. It was beautiful. I blushed. “My name is…Fright.”

What.

“What?” l was, nevertheless, shocked by her name. “Yeah…Quite ironic isn’t it. The thing we were arguing over, and that hinders me so much, is my name.” A self deprecating laugh rang out. “Wow…” I scoffed in disbelief. It was ironic.

Well. Better than no name right?

We sat there in silence again. However this time, I decided to break it. “It’s a nice name.” She turned to me. Not that I made it clear I was aware that she did. Since I was too embarrassed to look at her directly, and instead resorted to looking at her with my peripheral.

“So you CAN be nice.” I scoffed. “Maybe I shouldn't have said anything huh?” She giggled. “Nah, thanks. Really.” I felt my face warm up again.

However what she did next was not something I was ready for, as she had simply reached out, and touched my hair. I jolted back in surprise once I realized what was happening. However, not before she touched it.

“Woah, it’s real?” A small frown crept onto my face. “Yeah it is.” My expectations of her opinion on it were not exactly high. Which made my heart not only ache, but race. I was hoping it wasn’t too ugly.

‘Wait what? So what if it’s ugly. Not like I care.’

“That’s pretty unique…Is it really natural?” I didn’t want to seem embarrassed so I put up a smug front. “Yup. It is.”

“Don’t sound so proud ashy hair.” I hesitated. “I don’t know…” She laughed at my timidness. I sat there in silence. Was this really how I was spending my final moments? I turned to her. I didn’t really care anymore, so while she looked towards the mountain I simply stared at her face. It was pretty.

I felt a warm feeling all over. It was indescribable.

“What’re you staring at creep?” I found myself scoffing again. “Dreading the last thing I see before I die.” She turned to me. “Oh so NOW you’re trying to talk back.” I felt my brow twitch. “Yeah right, I just didn’t wanna argue with someone with poop colored hair.”

“Real mature aren’t you?”

I laughed, and she did too. It was nice. I liked the simplicity of it all. Even if it was nothing like that.

A dozen minutes passed. Now the Fading was up to our necks. We had been sitting there talking about the city behind and below us, nothing really special. Just banter about how nice it was sometimes, and me telling her how nice it really wasn’t. She agreed sometimes, and sometimes she didn’t

Fright was a kind person however. She was also strong. Hidden behind a veil of emotions. If I was being honest, it was attractive. Probably because I related to it. Not that I really expected much of this small developing crush I admitted I had grimly.

Amidst our conversations she asked in between random chatter.

“Can I name you?” I was a bit shocked, and I didn’t really know how to respond.

Names. They were…certainly something I despised. The curse I had of not having a name was not something I would ever be fond of. Yet when it came from her I didn’t really feel compelled to reject. I know of all the past memories I have that would make me immediately reject the offer.

However, what was there to care about now?

“Sure.” I said it as nonchalantly as I could muster. I did not want her to think I was against it.

“Hmmm…Let me think.” She sat there for a little. It made me a bit nervous. I wasn’t really sure whether to expect good or bad at this point.

“Artemisia ludoviciana”

“Wow, I didn’t know a poet lived in my hometown.” As I said this, I felt a stinging sensation come from my cheek. She was pinching it. “Shut it!”

“Owwhhmmmhmmh” I attempted to cry out in pain.

“I’ll have you know, this is actually a very beautiful botanical name of another beautiful flower. It’s grey and honestly it reminds me of your dumb hair, yet I know it’s long…so instead I’ll call you Ludo.”

“I woulbe preferrebeb Artebwis.” She let go of my cheek and I rubbed it in pain.

“I don’t care!” She pouted.

“Ludo…” After a bit of remedy cheek rubbing, I said my new name out loud. It was a nice name, and honestly I probably thought that because she had said it, but who cares. It did roll off the tongue nicely at least.

“I like it…thank you.” I smiled. It was the first genuine smile I had given another person in a long time. It was brief, and honestly I wasn’t the smiling type other than when being self deprecating. “That’s good…” She smiled back.

It was a warm smile, and almost childish. I stared at it in a complex manner. It was really cute, but most of all.

It made me feel better.

For some reason, I felt as if things would be okay. It wasn’t an aggressive or sudden feeling. It was more like a sensation of opening my eyes to another possibility. The smile was just the match stick being thrown to the fuel this girl…no Fright had been pouring all over my heart.

And with its light, the flame of my ambition truly ignited.

My mouth opened.

“I…I want to live.” It was a brief and quiet statement. Yet it still wiped the smile off of Fright’s face. I was a little saddened by it, but I continued. “I don’t…know why, but I really feel inspired by you, so thank you. Genuinely. Not just that, I’d love to see you again in the Vast. I want to show you that I can be better than whatever this is now. I know that’s brutally honest, and a bit bold…” I stammered yet I knew the words had to get out. “Please, allow me to promise…that we will both live. That we will both meet again, so that we can show each other how truly great we are.”

She looked shocked. Of course. It was a bit of a dumb speech. My change of heart was…sudden to say the least. Yet, I couldn’t find myself thinking it was the wrong thing to say.

“Geez…since when did you get so emotional?” She held out her pinky. Her pinky for god’s sake! “It’s a pinky promise.” I laughed.

“Are you serious?”

“Are you gonna grab it or not?” I interlocked my pinky with hers. The side of her hand was surprisingly warm. I felt my face redden. Yet I didn’t care. I felt that flame she had ignited deep within me. It was true.

I will move forward from now on.

We released our pinkies, and went back to sitting and gazing at the sky.

About 10 minutes passed. Our bodies were almost completely clear. The first part of the Fading process was coming to an end. She shifted in the grass, and turned to me.

“Say…Ludo.”

“Hmm?”

“Wanna kiss?”

H-huh?!

“What?!” I was shocked, scared, and embarrassed. My face was at its warmest, and I panicked. However, instead of the beautiful face of Fright, and her pretty smile and brown hair, as I turned towards her, I saw nothingness.

I had entered the Between.