Chapter 39.5 A Fine Goodbye

The rest of the day passed by in a flash from my point of view. Fiona and her group helped me make my way to the guild to get paid, a whopping 15 gold. I was now sitting on roughly 24 gold and some change after spending for our trip up here. From there she helped me find a place to stay, I didn’t focus on how much it cost. I just slapped a gold coin on the counter, took the key and made my way to the stairs.

From there I just sat on the edge of the bed. By then the rest of the effects of Lillian’s skill had worn off. The full implication of the last hour or so sunk in completely. I felt nauseous. If I hadn’t thrown up earlier I probably would’ve done so now.

I wanted to be angry, to yell and scream and punch the wall. Normally I would’ve had to fight to keep that part of me under control, especially since this wasn’t my house and I couldn’t be causing trouble for the people around me. No, instead I felt disgustingly calm. I wasn’t struggling to contain my emotions, I didn’t even feel tears welling up from frustration or depression. I just sat there. Contemplating.

I just felt exhausted. Maybe in the morning it’d sink in a little more and I’d be more upset. Somehow I doubted that’d be the case though. I prepared myself to just sleep the rest of the day away. I had gotten off the armor Lorin had made me and was halfway through removing my shirt when there was a knock on the door.

I hesitated taking it off the rest of the way, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to answer the door or not. I thought for a few seconds before deciding I wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone right now. I just wanted to sleep. I took off my shirt and just tossed it on the floor with the rest of my armor.

There was another knock that was a little more insistent, I just continued ignoring it. I just really wasn’t in the mood. I sat down on the edge of my bed and took off one of my boots.

I start grumbling to myself wishing my arm was a bit more sophisticated just to make getting my other boot off a little easier. It just still didn’t move quite the way I wanted it to yet. There’s a third knock that’s basically just pounding on my door before I hear, “Goddamn it, Alex. I’m coming in.”

I was sitting on the edge of the bed when Penny opened the door. She stopped in the doorway and for a while we just looked at each other. Both of us were staring at the other, somewhat awkwardly. Eventually I sighed and struggled with taking off my other boot before finally letting it flop to the ground next to my other one.

“Might as well come inside the rest of the way and close the door.” I said to her, my voice monotonous even to my own ears.

She hesitated for only a moment longer before nodding and closing the door. She then launched herself at me and tackled me onto the bed in a ferocious hug. I fell backwards in surprise, eventually I wrapped my good arm around her head and just held her close. I had never really noticed before, but she smelled nice. I didn’t know if she always wore perfume or not, but it had a pleasant lavender-vanilla scent. Extremely subtle, so as to not be overpowering. I liked it.

“Why?” She whispered, she was so quiet I almost didn’t hear her.

“Hmmmm…” I hummed thoughtfully, “There are several reasons I could give.” I whispered back.

“But the biggest is probably that I spent so much of my younger years letting people just walk over me, I refuse to let that happen anymore.” A bit of vitriol leaked into my voice before I stopped and took a deep breath to relax, “Whether it’s from the government or just another thug from the streets. Maybe there was a time and a place, and back then probably wasn’t it. But after two decades of being passive about being insulted I decided enough is enough. I’m sorry that it put us in such a shitty situation like now.”

“Was it really such a big issue that you couldn’t have just ignored it?”

“I probably could’ve,” I sighed, “But I absolutely refuse to compromise on my principles. Maybe it’s childish, but I don’t expect to change that part of me anytime soon.”

“It’s not fair…” She whispered, clutching me a little more tightly.

“No. No it’s not. That’s life though, everything about it is unfair. The strong get to stand at the top, whether that’s physical or political strength, that’s just the way it is.”

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“I don’t want to leave you… I want to keep staying with you, I don’t want to have to choose between the party or you…”

“You’re still going to be able to see me, it’s not like I’m disappearing for good right now. I’m still around, and once I get strong enough to throw my own weight around I can always come back and see you.”

She pulled back from my chest and looked up at me, tears filled her eyes and were streaking down her face.

I raised my good hand and wiped away the ones staining her cheek, “Don’t cry,” I whispered to her, “Don’t let this bring you down.”

She then leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine. It surprised me at first, but I quickly leaned into her, supporting her back and neck with my arms and kissed her back.

After what felt like an eternity that didn’t last long enough, she pulled away, nuzzling her head into my shoulder. I held her there, hugging her gently. Despite the unfortunate circumstances, her presence was soothing to my soul. Maybe it was because of the circumstances that had me feeling this way.

I certainly didn’t mind either way.

“I don’t want to leave…” Penny whispered sullenly.

“You don’t have to leave right now,” I replied as soothingly as I could. I ran a hand up and down her back slowly, gently caressing her.

For a long moment she was silent.

“Do you even have a plan to deal with this?” She asked quietly.

I wasn’t entirely sure what to say, because I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t know nearly enough to even start planning.

My silence was enough of an answer for her, however.

She squeezed me tightly and took a deep shuddering breath before pulling back and looking at me.

“I love you, Alex.” She said as firmly as she could.

For a moment I was in shock. I mean, the revelation shouldn’t have been shocking. It was kind of obvious that we both liked each other. But somehow her still coming right out and saying struck me in a way I couldn’t describe.

Maybe it was her appearance, her hair in slight disarray from its neat positions, her eyes slightly misty with tears. Her jaw set stubbornly.

The longer I looked at her, the more attracted to her I became.

I loved her so much, in this moment, it felt like my heart would burst.

Unable to hold back any longer I leaned in again and kissed her passionately. She returned it with equally vigorous actions.

After a moment we both pulled away slightly breathless.

She smiled at me, one that I returned this time.

“What a coincidence,” I said to her with a slightly conspiratorial tone, “I love you too.”

She practically tackled me to the bed, renewing her efforts to express her love to me through her lips. One that I happily received and did my best to return.

Eventually she must’ve decided that this wasn’t going to be enough for her, because she pulled back from me and gave me a strange look, one that I couldn’t fully decipher.

Her eyes narrowed as she searched my face before finally exclaiming, “Fuck it!”

The sudden exclamation shocked me and I was about to question her when she continued speaking.

“I put this off on our way out here. I’m not waiting again. Clothes. Off. Now,” Penny commanded.

My heart practically leapt into my throat, as my blood rushed through my entire body.

I complied.

Not that I was really in a position to refuse.

***

Penny and I slept the rest of the night away together and well into the morning. It was far later than I usually woke up by the time we both rolled out of bed. We slowly got dressed for the day before sitting down on the edge of the bed together.

She reached over and grabbed my good hand, “I’m gonna miss you.”

I just smiled slightly.

“I doubt I’ll ever really leave Vinwood beyond things like this where I take a mission that leads me out of the city for a while, but Garrus, George, Karif… We all like it there. So whenever you do follow through on your promise to get strong… If you can truly make it that far… I’ll be there, I’ll wait. I don’t know that I’ll wait for you forever, that’s not something I feel like I can promise. But several years. A decade maybe at the longest? I can do that at least.”

She leaned over and kissed me lightly on the lips, “Goodbye, Alex. I hope I get the chance to see you again. Sooner rather than later.”

With that she stood up and walked through the door, letting it shut softly behind her.