Gravel crunched under our feet as we followed Agnes along the southern bank of the loch. The water was still and clear, and after hours sitting in the Jeep I had a strong impulse to jump in and swim to the other side. It didn’t look that wide – a mile, maybe – about the same distance from shore to shore as The Wash. But the mood was solemn as we walked behind Agnes, who didn’t say a word, just led us silently to a spot further along the shore. We nestled together just off the path, underneath a canopy of low pines.
“This is my spot. I come here every night, looking out over the loch and at the crannog. I can almost believe that time shifts backwards when I’m here. I could be standing in the past. It’s the most peaceful place in the world. On a warm night, I can stand here for hours, until my bones get weary. On cold nights, I stamp my feet to keep the tingles at bay. Sometimes, if people walk past, I step back into the trees and disappear from view – a wee dog might come to say hello, but no human ever spots me. It’s a magical place.”
She paused, and I wondered whether she’d forgotten what she was going to say, or if she was lost in her thoughts. I looked towards the crannog, a reconstruction of a dwelling like those that existed on the loch in the Iron Age. It was like a pointed thatched cottage out on the water, with a narrow wooden pier leading to it. I’d had no idea such things existed until I looked up the loch online, to glean whatever information about it I could before our visit. I’d also learned it was the largest loch in the area, and the sixth largest in Scotland.
I was lost in thoughts about what the crannog looked like inside, when Agnes started to speak again. “That might sound strange to you, a wee old woman hiding away from folk like that, but sometimes I just want to be out in nature, and not have to talk to anyone.” She turned her piercing blue eyes on me, startling me. “What I’d say to a young man like yourself is – be careful of the demon drink. It never got me, thanks be, but it got my Fiona. She’s had a problem with it for as long as I can remember, since she was still a school girl. She’s managed to get off it, but every day is - was - a battle against the call of the bottle.”
She took a long, jagged breath. Dr. Pendle said, “Thank goodness she has. Every day must be a battle for you, too, Agnes.”
“Aye, it is. The way she manages best is by staying away from folk as much as possible. She works as a complaints advisor for one of the telecoms companies. It’s a terrible job, but she can do it from home, so she’s not tempted to go out for after-work drinks with colleagues. The nights are long and lonely. She spends most of her time watching telly, and buying things off those home-shopping channels. She hates the sight of me by then, so I give her some space and I come out here.” She paused again, then added, "I know I'm talking about her like she's still here. I can't help it, I'm afraid."
Dr. Pendle reassured her it was fine, and Max asked if he could film her. “I’ve got a bigger camera, but I’ll just use my phone, if that’s fine with you.”
With a quick flick of her head, Agnes gave her approval, adding, “If this is being filmed, I’d better say something worth hearing.”
“It will be worth hearing, we can assure you,” Dr. Pendle said kindly.
“I’m telling you all this about my routine, because I want you to know that I know this water like the back of my hand. I know what colours it is in all weathers, at all times of the year. Never once did I see it glow green – not until the first night I saw it. Or him. Or whatever.”
She looked across the loch furtively, almost like she expected to see something again. “I thought it might be the Northern lights at first, but it was the wrong time of the year. He first appeared in May.”
“Can you describe that first sighting for us?” Dr. Pendle asked.
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“It was the green I noticed first – light at first, almost like a traffic light reflected in the water. Within seconds it was bright neon green, so bright I could see the water bubbling and churning. The thing is, I didn’t actually see him come out of the water. You’d have thought with all that bright light I would have, but the next thing I knew there was a shape sitting there, like it was perched on a rock. Only, there are no rocks above the water in the middle of the loch. Then I thought it might be someone whose boat overturned, sitting on the upturned side, waiting to be rescued. I reached for my phone to call for help, but it wasn’t in my pocket. If only it was,” she said, reaching out to grip Dr. Pendle’s forearm, “I’d have evidence to show you, and you’d believe me.”
“We believe you,” he said, his voice gentle.
“Well, I did take photos the other times, when I remembered my phone, but they never showed anything. I knew I wasn’t imagining it, but I had no proof, even for myself.”
“Getting back to that first time, when you saw the shape sitting on the water, what did you see it do?”
“It just sat there, as still as I am, standing here. It was staring straight down the loch. I never saw it move its head to look at the banks. Not that first time, anyway.”
“How long did you watch it for, the first time?”
“It’s hard to say, because I lose track of time when I’m out here. At least an hour, probably more.”
“Was it still there when you walked home?”
Agnes shook her head. “The green glow disappeared, and I couldn’t see the shape anymore. I didn’t hear anything splashing in the water, so I assumed it was still there. When I got home, I called Stephen – our local policeman. I’ve known him since he was a lad, but still I worried he would think I was losing it.”
“What happened next?”
“He told me he’d go and investigate, and he did. A couple of hours later, he came to the door and told me he hadn’t found anything in the water. He didn’t say my eyes were playing tricks on me, but I got the impression it’s what he was thinking.”
“What happened the next night?”
“A carbon copy of the first time, except the second time I found my voice, and called out across the water, asked if he was injured, or needed help. I assumed it was a man, because of the size, but I still hadn’t seen his face. He didn’t show any signs of hearing me – not at all, even though I must have shouted out to him for a good twenty minutes. My throat was sore from all of the shouting.”
“And then?”
“I didn’t wait for the green glow to disappear, just rushed back home and called Stephen. He was out on another call, and it was a few hours before he knocked at the door. Same as the night before – no sign of anything in the water.”
Agnes took a deep, shaky breath. “The third night, he was already sitting in the water when I arrived. He wasn’t staring straight down the loch – he was looking over at me. I could see the outline of his face – not clearly, but enough that I could see his eyes were glowing the same green as the water, or maybe it was the water reflected in his eyes. All I knew was that he scared me, looking at me like that.”
She clutched her arms to her chest, like she was cold, or afraid of the memory. “I stood there as long as I could, staring him out, that night and the next five nights, like we were locked in a silent battle of wills. I never called out to him again. But – and I know how this will sound – I could sometimes hear his voice in my head. Low and deep and intimidating.”
“What did he say?”
“He told me it wasn’t me he wanted. It was my Fiona. He was waiting for her, and when she came to him, he was going to take her home. Well, that terrified me. Truly. When he said that – that was on the seventh night of our staring contest – I went home and told Fiona not to go near the water. She laughed – well, more like a sneer, really – and said it was a little late for me to give her water safety lessons. I yelled at her then – I wish I hadn’t but I was so scared – and told her it was no joke, she wasn’t to go near the loch.”
Agnes’s face crumpled, and she looked like she was fighting back tears. I fought the urge to give her a hug. I didn’t think Dr. Pendle would approve, even though she looked like she could use it. “That was the worst thing I could have said, I realize. I knew it as soon as I said it. Ever since Fiona was wee, I’d say black and she’d say white. I stayed awake as late as I could that night – long after she’d gone to bed – but I fell asleep in my armchair and when I woke up, she was gone. Her bedroom door was wide open, and her coat and boots were gone. I rushed to the loch, but there was no sign of her. Stephen and his team all searched for her for days, even though I’m sure they thought she just ran away from her crazy old Ma.”
Dr. Pendle gripped Agnes’s hands in his, then, and asked gently, “And the man you saw in the loch?”
She shook her head, sadly. “I never saw him again. That was four months ago, and he’s never come back. He got what he wanted – my Fiona.”