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“HUUUUQQQ PTU”
A splatter of green fluid erupted from the mouth of a man on a hovercycle covering a sign that read “Welcome to Sheridan” in the middle of a boundless wasteland of sand. As his trench coat flickered in the wind, he held down the tip of his top hat with one hand covering his face, doing all he could to fight the turbulence of the 250 mph speed. Behind him were two enormous looking men that followed closely behind, each on their own hovercycles on either side of him. Slowly easing the throttle of his bike, the vile man drifted back towards the two giants coming to the center of their formation. Wiping what was left of the fizzing green fluid that hissed and bubbled from his mouth like venom, he cleared his throat and spoke the two in a deep, low southern voice.
. “It's a damn shame,” he said shaking his head, “I reckon these folk forgot all about us”.
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“Awe, no way, boss. It's only been a few months since we’ve been here” one of the giants said.
“Well, they must have poor memory if they're gonna hold out against Darius. I mean no one’s head is that loose, I reckon” The vile man chuckled to himself.
“You right, boss! Aint no way they're that stupid! They prolly-they just forgot to prepare it!” The other giant replied, stumbling over his words.
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“Exactly! Now why don’t we go in there and make sure they… remember?” The vile man said in a violent tone.
“Well uhhh, how we gonna do that boss?” the other giant said scratching his shiny bald head.
“Now if you want someone to remember ya, you’ve to make yourself hard to forget!” The vile man said wagging his finger. “Now Harry, you never forget the hair on your beard now do you?” he said, smugly shrugging his shoulders.
“Beard?” Harry asked, confused. Reaching down and touching his face he felt the rough knot of fibers surrounding his mouth that dropped past the bottom of his chin. Thrilled with his discovery, he casually acquiesced to the vile man’s question.
“Naw boss I don’t. “ Harry answered.
“And why is that?” The vile man replied.
“Uhhh Because It’s always there!” Harry said marveling at his beard.
“Exactly! Now we just gotta leave these folk with a little something to remember us by! Yaknow, something that will.... always be with them!” the vile man said grinning evilly.
“OHH you mean like a present?” The giants chimed simultaneously
“Yeh Hahaha that's right!” the vile man laughed. “Like a present! Now do me a favor and hush up about it. Don’t wanna let anyone in on the surprise now do we?”
“You got it!” Boss the duo replied again in synchronization.
“Heh, well good” The man said again fully pressing on the throttle of his hovercycle. Accelerating ahead of the two, he began to see the outskirts of a town.
“Once we’re finished with this place this town will never forget the name Gille Eastwood again!” He shouted, stretching out his hands.
“But boss…” Harry meekly asked, “What about our names?”
Looking back at the two giants he leaned over the side of his bike shaking his fist at them.
“Oh shut it you lump faced gorilla! You couldn't remember your own beard! And it’s attached to your face!! You want people to remember ya? Why dontcha try remembering yourself first!”
“JAJAJA” Larry laughed as Harry slouched back in the seat in his motorbike. “JAJAJA stu... stupid Harry” Larry said cockily “If I had a beard I’d never for... for... forget something like that! Do you think they'll remember me boss!?”
Gille stared at Larry, quickly blinking his eyes repeatedly in complete disbelief.
“What?” Larry replied
“For Christ's sake you peanut-brained blockhead! You have a beard too!”
“Hahhh?” Larry said scratching his chin running his hand through his beard.
“Christ kill me now!” Gille said speeding away
“Wait!” The duo said, trying to catch up.
“I'm going to do to this town what yall just did to my head!!”
The trio chuckled maniacally as they approached the square. As they continued on, a subtle hissing sound could be heard a few miles behind them. The metal sign that had just been spit on was bubbling and foaming as it slowly started to bend and corrode.
Like the caustic saliva on the hot summer ground, it was evident these men were not there to soak up the sun. They had come to devour anyone and anything that would get in their way leaving behind only holes and fragments, laughing as they proceeded onward.