I’m not a good person.

“Wait! P-please, I said I’d pay!”

In fact, I’d have a hard time agreeing I’m much of a person at all.

“You were due three weeks ago man. Sorry.”

I wouldn’t say I’m a monster either. That would mean I really enjoy what I do. I don’t really have my head all that deep in it.

“Y-you know I can deliver the goods. Please, Jesus, NO-” A gunshot rings out through the apartment complex. I sigh, waving the pistol in my hand back into black particles, forming around my hand, returning to their original form of a plastic glove.

“Hope hell treats you better than life ever did Dave.” I give a little nod before walking over to the dirty couch near the apartment’s far wall, finding a safe next to it. I input the code into the keypad and watch the door open, revealing where all the extra money he’d been keeping from us was hiding. “Guess I owe dad some credit. Well, you’re coming with me buddy.” I tag the string bag off my back, placing the money inside, when I pick up the sound of someone nearby on the phone. I close my eyes, focusing in…sounds like the police will be on their way soon. Figures. Whatever, I’m already on my way out. I walk over to the window and open it up.

Just ahead of me I see the rope I’d set up earlier. With a short hop I grab onto it, grunting as I begin my short ascent. Reaching the roof I quickly begin untying and bringing up the rope. As I do, I notice the gentle breeze of the afternoon blowing against my face. I look out, seeing the blue sky and the sun beginning its descent to the horizon. How pretty. Huh? Sounds like sirens. Damn, must have spaced. I turn, run, and hop to the neighboring rooftop, tracing the route back to the meeting spot in my head. Damn though, it’s a shame its so close. Jumping around is probably the funnest part of being here. I usually don’t get the chance to be so variable in my movement. Hopefully I get another city job after this. 

I hop down to a lower roof, seeing another rope I’d set up earlier. The sirens are far enough away now that I can hardly hear them. Still, better to be safe. I wave my hands, making the plastic gloves turn to simple nonsense atoms floating in the air like tv static. Grabbing the back of my head, I carefully tear it off. As the flesh and meat falls to the ground, wavering static takes its place. From there, I grab onto the stump of my neck, and pull up, allowing reality to carefully recreate for me some random face. The blaring numbness slowly takes on feeling as I feel the top of my head once more, letting the breeze run over my face once more. I wave my hands once more, letting the plastic gloves reform around my hands. 

“Hm?” Something grabs my attention before I can make my way to the rope. Turning my head, I see a couch and a tv set, playing something. There’s someone sitting on the couch. Her short, icy blue hair hangs just above her shoulders, clothed in an oversized mint green hoodie and white tights. I realize I know this because I’ve unconsciously made my way over to her. She turns her head away from the tv, looking at me with a monotone gaze before patting the couch cushion next to hers. I sit down, looking over at the tv. Playing there is what looks like a gore video. The sight of someone’s head falling to the ground, their cut windpipe making nauseating noises, I feel as though I should be looking away.

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

“Don’t think there are any electrical outlets up here.” The girl takes note of my assessment.

“You’re correct.”

“Is it a magic tv?”

“That’s a stupid way of putting it. Are you a child?”

“What’s the best way of saying it?”

“Subjective evaluation of the mundane.”

“Huh?”

“What do you want?”

“I was just kind of curious what someone was doing watching tv up here. Would you mind answering?”

“Well, what are you doing up here?”

“I enjoy variable movement.”

“Variable movement…how do you come up with these things?”

“Huh? Is that weird?”

“Very, but maybe I’m the weird one.”

“I think what you’re doing is pretty weird.”

“Well I’m certainly glad I wasn’t asking for your opinion.” She seems upset after that.

“Was that mean? I didn’t realize.”

“A bit.”

“Wait, that means you were being mean to me too. Doesn’t that make it fair then?”

“Is there any reason you’re still here?”

“Not really. Just interested.”

“Mmm…do you like this?”

“No. Wait, what part?”

“What’s on the screen?”

“Oh. No. It’s really violent. Kinda gross.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Do you watch this kind of stuff a lot?”

“Not what you’re watching.” Curious, I look from her back to the screen, seeing a broken television screen. I look back and see the woman gone. I reached out, patting where she was sitting. It feels ice cold.

“Weird.” I stand up, walking around and seeing the tv’s power cord sitting on the ground. It really was unplugged. Cool. I feel something start to vibrate in my pocket. Pulling out a flip phone, I open it and hit accept. “Hello?”

“You’re fucking 15 minutes late, where the hell are you?!” A loud voice retches out from the phone’s speaker, making it crackle.

“Uh, I’m right above you actually. Sorry, got a little hung up. I’ll be there soon.” I go ahead and hang up. Before heading for the rope though, I take off my string bag and pull out a little digi-camera. I get the tv and couch in frame and take the shot. The screen flashes, before showing me the photo.

“Woah…” The girl is on the couch in the photo, looking somewhat bemused, flashing me a peace sign. On the television screen, I see a frame of a diner, late at night. The light inside lights up the sidewalk, where a young girl stands with a young boy, holding an umbrella over her head. Pulling the camera down, I flash the empty couch a peace sign, before finally descending the rope, and making my way to the meeting point.

Oh, right, I never really said what I am. 

More than anything, I believe the best thing you could call me is a god.