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Seeing Myself In You
Chapter 14: Falling for Ernest

Chapter 14: Falling for Ernest

The next few weeks passed in a whirlwind of emotions. I couldn't stop thinking about Ernest, and every time I saw him, my heart raced and my palms grew sweaty. We spent a lot of time together, working on the project, hanging out, and just talking, and I found myself growing more and more comfortable around him.

But even as our friendship deepened, I couldn't shake off the nagging feeling that there was something more between us. Every time we hugged, every time he touched my arm or looked into my eyes, I felt a surge of electricity coursing through my veins.

I had dated people before, but I had never felt this way about anyone. Was it because society still frowned upon same-sex relationships, making this kind of feeling almost feel forbidden? I didn't want to believe that was the case. I truly wanted to believe that maybe I did have feelings for him.

I sit alone in my dimly lit apartment, my thoughts racing, when suddenly I'm interrupted by the vibration of my phone on the coffee table. It's Ernest calling me! Without hesitation, I pick up his call and say, "Hey Ernest!"

"Oh, hi, Ye-jun!"

"Hey," I feel a bit awkward, not sure what to say next.

"Uh, what are you doing right now?" Ernest asks.

"I'm just at home watching TV. Why?" I reply.

"Well, if you're busy, I can just call back another time," Ernest says.

"No! I'm not busy. Did you want to hang out?" I interrupt.

"Sure, yeah, actually I do," Ernest chuckles.

"Do you want to maybe come over?" I ask.

"Really? Ummm, yeah, that would be great," Ernest replies.

"Awesome! I'll text you my address then," I say.

"Okay, thanks Ye-jun. I'll text you when I leave my place," Ernest says.

"Okay, cool. See you soon!" I say before ending the call.

Shit! Did I just invite him over to my place? I think to myself as I hang up the phone. Frantically, I run off the couch and start cleaning up the place. It looks like a filth lives here, and with how much time I've been hanging out with Ernest, I hardly ever have time to clean up. I start picking up empty food containers and putting them in the trash can. I also fold the clothes that were piled up on the couch and place them in the closet. Finally, after a few minutes of cleaning, I look around and feel content with the result. I sit back down on the couch and take a deep breath. I reach for my phone and see a text from Ernest: “Leaving now! I’ll be there in 10 minutes!”

Perfect timing, but as I start to get comfortable, I realize I haven't prepared any food. I shoot up from the couch and check the fridge. "Oh my god, I have no god damn food!" I check the cabinets and see that I have a shit ton of ramen. "Okay, this will have to do!" I grab four bags of Samyang Buldak and start boiling water.

As I wait for the water to boil, I grab two cups from the cabinet and start thinking about what Ernest would like to drink. "Hmmm, does he want beer or soda, or maybe just water?" I can feel myself panicking as time is passing with Ernest almost here. I grab all three and set them up on the coffee table in front of the TV.

After neatly placing the drinks, I go to check the water. "Damn it! It's barely getting warm!" I start opening up the ramen bags and say, "Fuck it," and just throw them in the pot.

Then my phone vibrates in my pocket. I don't even need to check who it is before picking up the phone. "Hey, Ernest!" I say, trying to sound like I'm not out of breath.

"Hey, Ye-jun. I think I'm here, but it looks like you have to buzz me in," Ernest says.

"Oh, right, of course!" I walk over to the front door and click the buzzer. "Okay, come on up, and I'll meet you at the front door."

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"Okay, thanks!" We end the call, and I wait near the door, pacing back and forth.

It feels like an eternity as I hear a knock at the door. I try to wait at least a minute without wanting Ernest to think I am waiting for him like a creep, but I can't wait any longer, and I rush over to open the door. There stands Ernest, quickly bolting his head up and making eye contact.

"Hey Ye-jun," Ernest says shyly.

"Hey, I'm glad you came!" I curse myself, thinking I am probably coming off too strong, "Come inside, please," I move over while still holding the door open for Ernest. He walks in at a fast pace, and I can see the back of his head starting to look around my apartment.

I chuckle awkwardly, "Sorry if the place seems messy. I, uh, don't usually have people over."

"Oh, sorry!" Ernest swivels and stares at me with his hands moving around as though he were trying to defend himself, "I was just thinking your place is very nice and clean. I like the space you have." I notice Ernest's cheeks looking a bit flushed, which causes my ears to burn. We both look away from each other, staring at anything else in the room besides each other.

"Ummm, Ye-jun?" Ernest speaks up.

I quickly respond, staring at him, "Yes?"

"Are you making something right now?"

"Shit!" I run over to the stove and notice the water boiling over. I completely forgot about the ramen. I turn down the heat on the stove and grab a nearby towel and start cleaning up the water that spilled over.

I hear Ernest from close behind me, "Do you need help?"

I briefly turn around to look at him and turn back to the stove, "Uh, shit, uh, no, I'm good. Sorry, go ahead and sit down on the couch. There are drinks, and I hope you're hungry."

I can hear the smile in Ernest's voice, "I am hungry, actually, but okay, well, let me know if you need any help. I don't want to be useless."

I laugh aloud, "Trust me, Ernest, you being here is useful enough for me." I continue cleaning up the mess and finish making the ramen. The noodles are softer than I would like them to be, but it'll have to do.

I grab two bowls and start grabbing chopsticks when I realize that Ernest probably doesn't use chopsticks. I instead grab us both forks and carry the pot of ramen over to the coffee table.

As I am setting down the food, I ask Ernest, "Do you like ramen?"

"Uh, yes, I do actually. I mean, I've never been to a ramen restaurant, but I eat the packaged ones."

I can't help but blurt out, "You've never been to a ramen restaurant?"

Ernest puts his head down bashfully, "No, I guess it's because I've never been with anyone."

I flop down onto the couch and start dishing us both up, "Well, I know what we're doing on our next outing."

"Really?" Ernest says excitedly.

"Yes! I am going to take you to a ramen restaurant."

Ernest's eyes widen, "That sounds amazing! When should we go?"

I smile, "How about next weekend? I know a great place that serves really authentic ramen."

Ernest nods eagerly, "Yes, that sounds perfect. Thank you, Ye-jun."

I wave it off, "No problem at all. I'm always happy to introduce people to good food."

We settle onto the couch and start eating our ramen, chatting about our favorite foods and places to eat. Sometimes when I talk to Ernest, it feels as though I have known him my whole life. The conversations that we have always flow so easily between us, and I try to imagine if I have ever had this sort of connection with anyone. But when I think really hard and try to remember, no one comes to mind.

After we finish eating, I turn the TV on and start going through the different apps, "Is there anything you want to watch?" I ask Ernest.

Ernest thinks for a moment before answering, "How about a comedy? I could use a good laugh."

I nod in agreement, "Sure, let me see what's available." I scroll through the options and find a popular comedy show. "What about this one?"

Ernest looks at the screen, "Yeah, that looks good. I haven't seen it yet."

I hit play and we both get quiet as we start focusing on the show. Ernest seems focused while my mind races. I keep glancing over at Ernest and wonder what he's thinking right now. Even though we’ve hung out a few times, I still find him difficult to read. I never know what he's thinking unless we're focused on the project, then I know it's just about art. The thought of this makes me smile a bit.

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I slowly open my eyes, blinking a few times as I try to adjust to the light. It takes me a moment to realize that I have fallen asleep while watching TV. I sit up, rubbing my eyes and looking around in confusion. I glance at the clock and it reads 3 AM. I turn over and see that Ernest has fallen asleep too. He's curled up in a ball on the other side of the couch. He looks so peaceful, and I can't help myself but inch forward closer to him.

I quietly move closer to Ernest, trying to get a better look at his face. His curly hair is sprawled out, and his mouth is slightly open. His face looks very clean and shiny. As I continue examining his features, I notice that his lips are a bit wet, and I never realized before how nicely shaped they are. I move in closer to his lips, and I can't help myself, but in the next moment, our lips touch.

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