The day is dragging on and I'm just watching the clock tick until I can leave this room. I am trying my best to pay attention to what the professor is going on about, but I'm too excited to even notice as I'm seeing Ye-jun today.
I was surprised the last time we hung out that he agreed to going to an art gallery with me. I know he says he likes looking at paintings, but I didn't think he would actually agree to go. This makes me nervous too because what if he hates it? Maybe he won't hate it, but perhaps he won't find some kind of appreciation for art.
I might be overthinking this because I don't see Ye-jun being the type of person to hate something. He's so nice to me, probably the nicest person I've met while being in college, or even in this state. I've grown to really like Ye-jun. I know we haven't known each other for that long, but he's a really good friend, and I hope he feels the same way about me.
Suddenly, I notice all the students packing up, and the professor is talking about some readings we need to do before next week. I start throwing my stuff into my backpack and head out of the class before anyone else does. Ye-jun says he won't be out of class until 3 today, which is okay with me because I can stop by my apartment to drop my stuff off and eat something before meeting up with him.
As I make my way to my apartment, I can't help but feel a flutter in my stomach. Ye-jun has been on my mind all week, and I'm eager to see him again. I want to make sure everything is perfect, from the outfit I wear to the gallery we visit. I take a deep breath and remind myself to relax. It's just a casual outing with a friend, right? But as I reach my apartment and start getting ready, I can't help but feel a little nervous excitement building up inside of me. I hope Ye-jun enjoys the art gallery.
I pace back and forth in my apartment, waiting for 3 o'clock to come. My roommate enters the apartment, and I barely notice his presence until he speaks up, "Are you going on a date?"
"Huh?"
"Are you going on a date?" He says this in the same monotone voice as before.
"Uh, no, just meeting a friend." A date? Why would he think it's a date?
"Oh, ok. You seem nervous, so I just assumed." He puts his head back in the fridge, looking for more of my food to eat. I don't mind if he eats my food. He says he's going to move out by the end of this semester anyway.
I start to process what he said more. A date? Ye-jun and I are just friends, and I don't think he's gay. Not that his sexuality matters to me, gay or not, I think Ye-jun is a cool person, so I wouldn't care how he identifies himself.
I try to push these thoughts out of my mind as I finish getting ready. I make sure my hair is styled just right and that I'm wearing something that makes me feel confident. I check the time on my phone and realize that it's almost 3 o'clock. I grab my bag and head out the door, my heart beating a little faster with anticipation.
I make it to the gallery and don't see Ye-jun, but that's okay. I wanted to get here before him anyway. I enter the building and quickly greet the security guard with a head nod before starting to walk around. I've been to this place before, but I like the paintings here a lot. They are simple, and not much thought needs to go into looking at them, unlike some other paintings.
I stare at each painting, taking in all the little details, from the brush strokes to the blended colors. I can't help but be amazed at the talent some of these artists have. I really hope that one day my painting can be in a gallery. I get nervous thinking about taking that leap, but for now, I'll stick with putting my paintings up throughout my room.
At that moment, I see out of the corner of my eye a figure outside of the glass windows. Its Ye-jun! I can’t help, but smile and wave him on over! He waves back and walks inside.
"Hey, Ye-jun! You made it!" I eagerly say.
"Yeah, sorry I'm a bit late. I ran into someone on my way here," Ye-jun says, sounding a bit put off by this person. Hopefully, it was nothing bad, I think to myself.
"No worries. I'm just glad you're here now. Come on, let me show you my favorite piece in the exhibit." Without so much as a second thought, I grab Ye-jun's wrist and start walking him towards the back. I know I should let go because I know he's not a little kid who needs a parent holding his wrist, but I get too excited. Now that I have a friend to show these paintings to, it makes me happy.
Finally, I stop and stare at the painting. "I love this piece," I say to myself, admiring the way the woman is painted and the flowers that surround her. The woman is already beautiful herself, but with the flowers and the texture of the colors, it just makes her stand out even more.
"Why is this your favorite painting here?" Ye-jun asks, breaking me out of my trance.
I turn to look at Ye-jun. "I just think it's so beautiful. The way the colors all blend together, and the way the woman is looking off into the distance, it's like she's contemplating something. Plus, I just love how the flowers in the background give the painting a really dreamy, ethereal feel." I explain, hoping that Ye-jun can see what I see in this painting. It's always interesting to hear someone else's perspective on art, and I'm curious to hear what Ye-jun thinks.
"Hmmm, that's actually a very simple response," Ye-jun says.
"What do you mean?" I ask, looking at him with a quizzical expression.
"I mean, I was expecting some crazy abstract answer from you, kind of like how they portray artists in the movies," Ye-jun explains.
I chuckle softly. "Oh, yeah, I don't have any crazy theories about this painting. Maybe some of them, but I just like this one a lot."
I watch Ye-jun as he takes another look at the painting, and I can see his expression changing. He seems to look a bit sad. Oh god, I didn't want him to get sad looking at this painting!
"Are you okay, Ye-jun?" I ask, hoping he's not feeling down.
"Uh, yeah, sorry," Ye-jun mumbles. Damn it, I think I made him upset or this painting did.
"You don't seem okay; your face says otherwise," I observe, noticing the sadness in his eyes. I don't want to pry, but he looks so down right now. I hope he feels as though he can talk to me if he needs to. As his friend, I want to support him in any way I can.
"Uh, yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about you…” Ye-jun says, and I can't help but feel thrown off by this. But then, Ye-jun continues his sentence, "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I was just thinking about how cool it is that you have such a passion for this," and I feel my face getting hot. Jesus, why did I react like that for a second. I'm glad he clarified what he meant, though.
"Oh!" I exclaim, putting my head down, feeling a bit embarrassed by my reaction. "Sorry, I didn't mean to react like that," I say, trying to laugh it off, but I'm not very good in these kinds of situations. I hope Ye-jun doesn't think I'm weird or anything.
Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.
"It's okay. I was just lost in thought for a moment, that's all," Ye-jun says, smiling warmly at me, and I feel a bit better now about how I reacted.
Trying to lift Ye-jun's spirits, I start thinking that maybe he has something that he likes. So, I decide to ask him, "Well, I'm sure there's something you have a passion for, or at least something you did have a passion for."
Ye-jun looks up for a second, as though he's recalling a memory. "I used to like playing the guitar," he says.
Ye-jun plays the guitar? This guy is awesome!
"Really?" I exclaim, probably saying it a bit too loud, but I can't contain my excitement. I've always admired people who can play musical instruments.
In a lower voice, I ask Ye-jun, "That's so cool! What kind of music did you like to play?"
I can tell that Ye-jun becomes more relaxed and almost excited-looking once I ask him this. It's great to see him talking about his passion, and I'm eager to learn more about what he likes to play on the guitar.
As Ye-jun talks about his guitar playing days, we walk around the gallery. He mentions that when he was 12 or 13 years old, he couldn't recall exactly, his aunt gifted him a guitar for Christmas. He was enthusiastic about learning to play and ended up teaching himself through online video tutorials. I am impressed by Ye-jun's self-teaching abilities, but I don't want to interrupt his train of thought, so I keep listening and nod eagerly as he talks passionately about music.
Ye-jun and I are engrossed in conversation, time seems to stand still. However, we are abruptly interrupted by the security guard, who approaches us and says, "I'm sorry, but the gallery will be closing in about 10 minutes." I turn to Ye-jun, who appears just as surprised as I am by how quickly time has passed. We apologize to the security guard and head outside.
Stepping outside, I'm greeted by a blast of cold air that makes my hair flutter in the wind. Ye-jun stands beside me, surveying his surroundings. I wonder if he's considering leaving, and the thought of parting ways with him makes me feel a little sad. Before I can dwell on it, Ye-jun speaks up. "Hey," he murmurs.
I turn to him. "Yeah?"
"Would you like to take a walk for a little while?" Ye-jun asks, still scanning the area as though he's speaking to someone else.
"Sure," I reply eagerly, not wanting the night to end just yet.
We begin walking down the street, the wind whistling past us. I pull my coat tighter around me and look over at Ye-jun, who seems unfazed by the cold.
We start walking, our footsteps echoing against the pavement as we make our way down the empty street. The city is alive with the sounds of cars whizzing past, the distant chatter from bars and restaurants, and the warm glow of the street lights reflecting off the towering skyscrapers.
As we continue walking, our conversation ranges from the iconic architecture to the lively nightlife. I open up to Ye-jun, telling him about my family's lack of support for my painting career, but how I remain close with my little sister. He nods in agreement and shares that his family has similar expectations of him, being the oldest sibling. To my surprise, I learn that Ye-jun also has a younger sibling like me!
"Are you close with your little brother?" I ask Ye-jun.
"Hmm, I used to be, but I think we've grown apart. Besides, my parents adore him," Ye-jun replies, his tone tinged with sadness. I notice that whenever he talks about his family, it's usually not in a positive light. It makes me feel a bit sympathetic towards him, as everyone needs a good support system.
Trying to uplift the mood, I say, "I'm sure your brother probably misses you."
Ye-jun doesn't respond, and I take the hint that he may not want to talk about it further.
We continue our walk, and I'm not sure if Ye-jun has a destination in mind, or if he's simply enjoying the moment. It doesn't matter to me. Just being with him like this brings me immense joy. As we walk in comfortable silence, my mind begins to wander. I try to think of a friend I've felt this way about before, but no one comes to mind.
Well, there was this girl I was friends with when I was around 10 years old. We were really close, or so I thought. However, once we entered middle school, she suddenly stopped talking to me. I remember feeling upset and not wanting to go to school anymore because of it. But I was forced to attend, and I never talked to that girl again.
As I think back on it now, it seems like a small and insignificant memory. But at the time, it was a significant event that made me question the nature of friendship. Walking with Ye-jun, I realize that I don't have to question anything about our friendship. It's simple, easy, and enjoyable.
We find ourselves at a small park, surrounded by a few benches. Without a word, we sit down, taking in the peaceful atmosphere. The park is quiet, save for the rustling of leaves and the distant hum of the city.
I glance over at Ye-jun, and I can't help but feel a sense of calmness wash over me. His presence is reassuring, and I feel fortunate for the unexpected connection we've formed.
As we sit in comfortable silence, I take in the small details around us - the way the leaves flutter in the wind, the way the light filters through the trees, and the way Ye-jun's eyes sparkle in the soft light. I feel content in this moment, not wanting it to end.
Ye-jun interrupts my train of thought, asking, "So, what are you thinking about?"
Feeling a bit embarrassed, I don't want to reveal my innermost thoughts. I stutter, "Umm, not much I guess, just thinking about stuff."
Ye-jun doesn't press further, and instead asks, "Did you have a good time today?"
I turn to face him, a smile spreading across my face, "Oh, Ye-jun, I had a great time! I'm so happy you agreed to come out and show you some of the amazing paintings we saw!"
Ye-jun chuckles, "Well, I'm glad I came along. It was different, but I like hanging out with you."
Hearing that he enjoyed spending time with me sends a wave of joy through me. "That's great, Ye-jun!" I reply, feeling content.
I can't believe Ye-jun just said he enjoys hanging out with me! I feel myself internally freaking out over this. Ye-jun is such a cool guy, and for someone like me, it's hard to believe I've made an impression on him. I can't help but feel almost giddy at the thought. I'm not sure how to handle these feelings.
As we sit there, trying to remain calm, I start to notice small white specks falling to the ground.
"It's snowing!" I exclaim, standing up from the bench. I start to run around, trying to catch the snowflakes in my mouth. I love the snow! It reminds me of the times my little sister and I used to play in it, and she would always insist on me helping her build a snowman.
Turning to look at Ye-jun, I see that he's still sitting on the bench, watching me play with the snow in the air, laughing.
His laughter is contagious, and I can't help but feel happy in this moment. I continue to play in the snow, feeling carefree and alive.
After my playful time in the snow, I return to the bench and sit down next to Ye-jun. We resume our conversation, chatting about random things and laughing about silly jokes. But as the snow continues to fall and the temperature drops, we both start to feel the chill.
We stand up from the bench, and begin to make our way through the snow-covered park. We walk in silence, the only sound being the soft crunch of the snow beneath our feet. The snow has turned everything into a winter wonderland.
As we reach the park entrance, we both turn to face each other. Our breaths are visible in the cold air, "Thanks for tonight, Ye-jun. It was really great."
Ye-jun smiles, "Yeah, it was. Thanks for showing me a good time."
Without thinking, I lean in and wrap my arms around Ye-jun, hugging him tightly. I feel his body jolt for a second, but then quickly relaxes into the embrace.
As we hold each other, I can feel my heart beating steadily in my chest. I don't know why I felt the sudden urge to hug him, but in this moment, I just wanted to hold him, even if it was just for a brief moment.
As we say our goodbyes and part ways, I can't get Ye-jun out of my mind. I enjoyed spending time with him today, but I can't help but wonder if he feels the same way. Maybe he's just being friendly, and I'm reading too much into things.
I try to shake off the thought and focus on other things, but Ye-jun keeps creeping back into my mind. I wonder if we'll hang out again soon, or if today was just a one-time thing.
As I finally reach my apartment, I let out a sigh and try to push the thoughts aside. Maybe it's better to just enjoy our friendship and not worry about anything else. Maybe Ye-jun is just being a good friend, and I'm overthinking things.