Leroy: Apologising to Candide. It does not go all that well.

Well, here goes. I really doubt that this will turn out as well as Francesca's.

Making sure he was presentable, Leroy gave a sickly grin to Kaydence, Sarsaparilla and Adalace. They were all in one of the many little enclosed parks under the surface of Verdant. The three girls made themselves comfortable on a park bench as Leroy, legs trembling slightly, set off for the short walk to the residence where Candide lived. He was carrying the stuffed bear in a plain white paper bag.

Five minutes later, he was in someone's home office. He was standing in front of the office desk. Standing behind it was Candide's father, beside him was her mother, while standing on the same side of the desk as he was and facing him were Candide and her boyfriend.

Gulp... This is almost deliberately set up to be intimidating. But I've come this far, might as well get it over and done with.

Of course, Candide had her listening stick. Which she was holding out in front of her almost as if it was a weapon. Aimed fair and square at Leroy.

Remember, to use it she had to keep the tip of it, where a small loudspeaker was, at a distance of 1.1 metres in front of her face. The microphone was located in the handle. So as long as she was looking in the direction as the stick and at the correct distance, she could hear anything within normal hearing distance, from any direction.

"Candide - as a result of - various things - I've decided I need to give you, and your family, a formal apology for my actions back then."

Candide glared at him.

"Well, I can only say I was a stupid and totally idiotic bully - I'm not trying to justify my actions or anything - ah - I'm not asking you to forgive me or anything like that..."

Candide is not taking this at all well; looks like a repeat of Adalace; but, I will just have to keep going.

"So, ah, well, I apologise for my actions, and I have made a commitment not to ever do anything like that ever again. Ah, and I now have some friends who know my story, and they very determined in making sure I don't stuff up - ah, I should note that my friends are kind of scary and they won't hesitate in pulling me up if I need it."

An icy cold silence from Candide. Her parents were stiff, with carefully maintained neutral looks on their faces. Her boyfriend looked very uneasy and uncomfortable.

"You do realise that I tried to kill myself? It's only by a minor miracle that I was saved. By some adults who go around helping people, instead of bullying them."

Oh shit.

Leroy began sweating. "Sorry. I truly am very sorry."

"And why did you act so despicably in the first place? You were an utter shit, you know."

"Because, because I was stupid? Desperately trying to make myself popular, and picking the worst possible way? Because the 'friends' I was trying to cultivate couldn't care less about me?"

 "Yeah, your friends certainly were useless. And so were you. And, furthermore, no one in the class ever thought to tell the teachers about the bullying. They all kept it a big fat secret. Actually, some of them did tell their parents, but the parents kept it a secret also. Although it turned out that the teachers, individually, did know some of it. But they never thought to discuss it with the other teachers! If they had, they might have realised that the bullying was far worse than they thought. But they all kept everything a big stupid secret! I hate secrets like that! Secrets just allow evil things to occur, and you were certainly an evil thing!

"And after all that horrible experience we moved to a new dome and things got better. Away from you, I finally managed to relax and find some enjoyment in life. I even managed to make my first friend - although I don't know where she is now. And I now have a really nice boyfriend! It's good to know that not all boys are like you! And then you come back with this pathetic story of being sorry and make me feel miserable all over again! What is it with you?"

Leroy was beginning to really suffer now.

Seeing this, Candide continued. "And I don't care if you do cry because of my words. You deserve it!"

I think this is hopeless, completely hopeless. It looks like my apologies never work out.

"Sorry, sorry, I just had to try it, but it's all right, I'll go now - Oh, that's right, I almost forgot. I found Mr Bear for you, the one made by your Aunty Jacaranda."

He took the bear out of the paper bag and held it out to her. Candide looked at it in disbelief, before gingerly taking it.

"How, how did you find it? Wasn't it lost beyond recall when you threw it away?"

"Ah, well, I recently had a lucky piece of information from, ah, someone."

Candide held up the bear and looked at it closely. "Yeah, it really is my Mr Bear." Her expression became slightly more encouraging.

"But, wait! I never told anyone at school about him, so how did you know his name and who made him?"

"Ah, well, I, err, can't quite recall. I suppose I must have overheard that information somehow..."

"Well, so, I suppose I can thank you for that. Certainly not for anything else, but."

Candide's mother finally decided to act and try to diffuse the negative energy being emitted by Candide by a little bit more.

"I suppose you didn't realise, Leroy, but we were all at the school function when those crazy terrorists tried to bomb the place. Afterwards, on the news, we saw your group as some of them were keeping the bomb from exploding. So, Candide, perhaps you can be grateful that he at least appears to have some nice friends now?"

"Yeah, that too. I guess. Since you weren't controlling the bomb, why didn't you evacuate with the others?"

"You were actually there? Ah, I didn't realise. And, well, they were my friends, in fact they were the first friends I have ever made. So, well, I decided to stay and give them my moral support."

"That's - amazing? Your friends must be really special people if they can put up with you. Trouble is, the first friend I made, after I got away from you, was also a very special person. But then she was take away from me, because of some stupid reason like her insurance money ran out and she had to transfer to another orphanage and I never was able to get in contact with her again. I blame you for that also."

"Dear, perhaps you don't have to go quite so far..." said Candide's mum.

"Sorry, what?" said Leroy, "Oh, right. Ah, one of my friends, her name is Sarsaparilla, had the same sort of experience. She lost her friend Kaydence in exactly the same way. But then, recently she regained her, because of - various circumstances. But anyway, Kaydence spent some time in some sort of institution, or something, with lots of other girls passing through, ah, the whole story is too complicated to tell, but, maybe Kaydence met with your friend at some stage?"

"Your friend met up with her lost friend? Oh."

Candide appeared to be thinking over certain matters, and coming to a possibly distasteful decision.

"Then, perhaps, you could ask this Kaydence person to look at Chantell's photo? Not that I want you to see it, of course. I know, I'll get dad to print off a copy and put it in an envelope. And, you will promise to give it to Kaydence or her friend Sarsaparilla or whoever, but you will definitely not take a look at it yourself!"

Leroy promised. So Candide looked at her father, who sat down at his desk, did some twitch typing, and eventually took out a photo from his printer. He put it in an envelope and, without a word, gave it Leroy.

"Well, I guess I'll go now..." said Leroy.

A look of complete disdain from Candide. "Certainly, please do."

Five minutes later, he was back at the park.

"Let me guess, it didn't go all that well?" said Adalace.

"No, it didn't. But then, I wasn't really expecting it to go well. I hurt her much too much for there to ever be any sympathy from her."

So Kaydence gave him a hug. "It's all right, the only Leroy I know is the one you are now. I'll keep on being your friend."

She really is a nice girl. And I really must keep to my promise of not being any more than just a friend, for some time. And Adalace is sending me a death warning, should I ever hurt Kaydence.

"Thanks, Kaydence." said Leroy.

He then nodded to Adalace, acknowledging her little communication.

"Kaydence, don't hug him too much, he's meant to suffer, don't forget." said Sarsaparilla.

"Aww, I thought he had already suffered. I mean, he's not meant to suffer all the time."

"Let's go back to Teylon's now, shall we?" said Adalace.

What she really means, let’s start walking as soon as possible, so Kaydence has to let me go. But that's all right.

Oh wait, the photo.

"Actually, Kaydence, there's this photo..."

He explained the situation, then stood a respectful distance back as Kaydence examined Chantell's photo.

A look of disappointment from Kaydence. "Sorry, I can't remember anyone who looked like this."

Sarsaparilla had a look, out of curiosity. “Doesn’t ring a bell for me, either.”

“Well, I didn’t know any orphans, so I probably can’t help, either.” said Adalace.

Who nevertheless had a brief glance. She glanced again, and took a longer look. There was a slowly growing look of surprise, followed by horror, on her face.

“Oh fuck. Oh fuck.” said Adalace.

“Sorry? If you’re swearing, it must be bad.” said Leroy.

“That’s the girl that died in Maggie’s arms at the test range. Remember, I went there with Sarawatch and Teylon, and Maggie was bawling her eyes out. I’m sure that’s the girl.” said Adalace.

-

-

“This is bad. Real bad.” said Leroy. “But, before we tell anyone, perhaps we should get Maggie to come here and confirm? Does anyone know where she is at the moment?”

Thirty minutes later, they were still at the park, and Maggie had just joined them.

“Ah Maggie, if you could look at this photo, and tell us if it reminds you of anyone?” said Adalace.

“Huh, sure. Let’s see, hmm...” said Maggie, examining the likeness.

She then slowly sank to her knees and put her head in her hands.

“Oh shit. I couldn’t save her. I tried, but she was already too far gone.”

Adalace knelt behind her and hugged her. Just like before. Kaydence continued to hug Leroy while Sarsaparilla watched them all.

“So what the hell do we do now?” she Sarsaparilla.

“Well, I suppose I go back and tell Candide, who already hates me, that her wonderful special friend is already dead. She’s going to loathe me after that, but that doesn’t really matter, does it?” said Leroy.

“Shouldn’t you have some actual proof before completely ruining her day?” said Adalace, “After all, while us two have identified her, they can still argue that it’s a case of mistaken identity.”

Sarsaparilla looked blank for a moment.

“Unfortunately, you are not mistaken. And I have just received another password to the police forensic database. This is getting to be a habit. Adalace, if you could?”

There were publicly accessible computer screens everywhere in Verdant. And, within a few minutes, Adalace had a report up on the closest one.

"Autopsy report on the death of Chantell"

“Yep, that’s the same girl as in the photo. Looks like Leroy needs to go and get some more hate from Candide.” said Adalace, “I’m really am sorry about that.”

Well, I suppose this can all be considered as suitable punishment for my past crime. And if I’m going to be a hero, then there is no way I can avoid it.

An hour after leaving the company of Candide and her family, Leroy was back. In the same room, facing the same people. Only this time, he had Kaydence, Adalace, Sarsaparilla and Maggie lined up behind him. No one in the room looked very happy.

Candide looked frightened. “So, you have some news about Chantell?”

“I apologies for bringing you this bad news, but Chantell has already died.” said Leroy.

Candide looked as if she might start crying at any moment, but she rallied and managed to speak.

“But - but, you just say that but how do you know?”

So Maggie told her the story of how she met Chantell, and added that they had saved Kaydence from a similar fate. As Candide started to cry, her mother smartly stepped up and wrapped her arms around her. During all of this, Candide managed to keep her listening stick pointed towards Leroy and at the correct distance.

“I say, this is very weird and disturbing news, I, ah, don’t doubt your experience, but are you sure that the girl you held was Chantell? After all, you only have a photo to go by, and you met her in very abnormal circumstances.”

This was Candide’s father speaking.

He’s desperately hoping for the sake of his daughter that it wasn’t Chantell... Well, here I go and destroy that last bit of hope.

“Sorry sir, but if we may access your TV screen?” said Leroy, pointing to the massive three metre wide screen on the sidewall.

Thirty seconds of furious twitch typing by Adalace, and the front page of the same forensic report was on it. Showing a mug shot of Chantell and thus leaving no room for doubt.

Adalace didn’t even bother to ask for the password. Just how many systems does she control, by now, anyhow?

Candide gently pushed her mother back. She looked at the five teenagers. Four girls and Leroy.

Oh - oh, she's obviously deciding that the most suitable one to get angry at is me. Sigh.

"Damn you! Why didn't you save Chantell like you saved Kaydence!"

"Sorry, we didn't know what was happening at that stage. If we had known, we would have tried to save her. Certainly I would have done so, it's what a hero would do."

"Hero? Hero? You? You're not a hero, you're just a horrible little bully who let Chantell die! What does all of that mean? Someone in authority let Chantell die? Why?"

"We don't know. There are too many secrets being kept by people we don't know. We're doing our best to find out what the hell is going on, but as yet we haven't succeeded."

"Secrets? More shitty secrets! I hate secrets! Nobody stopped you from bullying me because of all of those precious secrets, and now you tell me that even more secrets led to Chantell being murdered!"

Candide's voice had steadily risen during this speech. She ended up screaming the last words. She also totally lost her composure, blew it away with the heat of her anger. She gripped her listening stick in both hands, and wacked it across Leroy's midriff.

Ouch, that hurt a bit. But, she really needs to let of her fury, perhaps I can just take it for a while?

Of course, as soon as she did this, she was no longer capable of using her listening stick to actually listen to anyone. So she continued in her rage, completely oblivious to what anyone was saying.

"Candide! Stop that!" cried out her mother. But, of course, Candide kept on whacking Leroy. Leroy had, by now, raised his arms to protect his face, but he made no other attempt to defend himself. The four girls behind him remained frozen in their places. Candide's father was blocked from action because his wife was standing in front of him. And Candide's mother tried to stop her, but Leroy said

"It's all right, it's not really hurting me."

Actually I think it is...

Candide kept on screaming.

"I hate these secrets! I hate you for bringing all of this bad news! You have made my life hell! You and those stupid secrets! You call yourself a hero? Then promise that you will stop the secrets. That you will reveal to Mars all of the evil things you have done! And the evil things that were done to Chantell! Promise that, you horrible boy!"

Candide's mother finally got over her shock, she stepped up to her and wrapped her arms around her and held her tight. Candide, not wanting to hurt her mother, stopped swinging the stick around, and out of sheer habit started to use it again as it was meant to be used.

"Yes, I promise. I do! I'll promise to end these secrets!" said Leroy.

I don't know how the hell I will do that, but I have now promised. I can't back out of it.

Candide, unable to muster the energy to scream more insults at him, merely threw the stick at Leroy, then allowed herself to be totally embraced by her mother. Candide's father, taking stock of the situation, gently shoved the boyfriend, who up to now had been a passive and horrified observer, in the direction of Candide. So he ended up hugging her, also.

Both the father and the boyfriend look as if they are almost crying also. What a shitty day all the way around.

"Perhaps it is best if you go now?" said Candide's father.

They left. None of them felt very good about the results so far for today.

Sarsaparilla patted down her hair and sighed loudly.

"At least I don't get any bad hair days now. Maybe the bad luck got tired of me once I got my super power, and is now attacking Leroy?"

Leroy couldn't be bothered answering.

It's all very well making that promise about removing the secrecy, but how do I uphold it?

----------------------------------------

Adalace: Visiting Sister Celeste

Later that day.

I'm already emotionally exhausted, and now we have to do yet another intense moment.

Adalace was currently standing in front of a desk. Which was covered in stacks of paper, presumably all to do with the running of the St. Eustace Special Educational Centre.

I'm always amazed at how people still use paper printouts for their business.

On either side of her and slightly behind her were Sarawatch and Sarsaparilla, while next to the desk was Sister Celeste. Of course, her desk still had a computer terminal and keyboard, plus a single ornament, a framed photo. Currently pointing away from Adalace, so she was not able to see it.

"Thank you for agreeing to see us at such short notice, Sister. Ah, this may seem strange, but you know how we were speaking about an Angle of Death?"

"Of course, I certainly remember that." said Sister, in her usual tranquil and composed manner.

"Well..."

Adalace described her soul reading.

Celeste gradually lost her composed manner, becoming increasingly agitated.

"Oh dear, Oh dear," she said when Adalace had finished, "I think I might be guilty of some sinning myself. I've just realised, I've been lying to myself. I decided I was going to be helping him in atoning for his sins... But really I have been indulging in acting on my own emotions. Yes, I do hate him. He hurt my Mirabella and I have been hating him for it ever since. Although I do realise that there must have been others who were also involved. Yeah, I hate him. I thought I hid it from him. I thought I could still act to help him. But I was fooling myself. I was getting revenge. Only revenge."

Celeste stared at the floor, mumbling what might have been a prayer. After a suitable interval, Adalace spoke up again.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to criticise you or anything - ah - I think it is quite reasonable to hate him. In fact I can understand that quite well. Ah, never mind how."

"Thank you for your sympathy, However, sadly, I need to recognise my own sins and deal with them first, before I can help others." said Celeste.

Celeste straightened up and resumed some of her composure.

"And, even if the hatred is understandable, I still have to recognise that it can never be part of expressing God's love. Ah, I guess, yes, I will have to arrange for somebody else, somebody independent from me and Nethezal, to visit him. And, of course, I will have to schedule yet more time with my confessor."

She smiled sightly at that.

"He's getting quite an earful of my troubles, lately."

She went back to serious.

"But still, even those who have committed great crimes, and who are suffering in their repentance, do not deserve any extra suffering. Especially if such suffering is merely revenge motivated. That is what I believe."

"Ah, right, Sister. I guess that I, and Sarsaparilla, will be taking careful note of that."

Adalace and Sarsaparilla exchanged sombre glances. And Celeste, recovering somewhat from her agitation, looked at Sarawatch with a slight questioning air.

"I'm Sarawatch. I don't mean to be depressing or anything, but I was the one that saw Mirabella die. And then got kicked out of the police force because I refused to shut up about it."

"Oh." said Celeste.

She reached out to the desk and turned around the photo frame.

"Yes! That's Mirabella!" said Sarawatch, "In fact she looks almost exactly like what I saw in my soul reading."

"Your soul reading?"

Sarawatch described it.

Celeste was silent for a long moment. Her face softened.

"So, you say, she looked happy?"

"Oh definitely. Along with the other girls present. A bunch of happy teenage girls, having a picnic. Although where that picnic was I haven't a clue. My grasp on theology is very tenuous so I would rather not hazard a guess."

"Ah, yes. I suppose it doesn't matter, as long as she is being looked after."

Some more silence, until, finally.

"Thank you, Sarawatch, for giving me that. Although, with reference to theology, I must admit I'm just as confused as you are about this. But that's all right, God puts us here to do our best with what we are given, and I can only be thankful for what I have been granted."

Adalace was the last out of the door, she looked back and saw Celeste holding the photo and looking at it.

She's crying.