Maggie: Maybe Erasyl has his good points, after all.
A few days passed, and it came to pass that Maggie and Erasyl were looking after Juniper all by themselves. They were the only people in their rental accommodation building, everyone else was out.
How did this come about?
"Hey Erasyl, where did Teylon disappear too?" said Maggie.
"I dunno, he mumbled something about something something, and left. I just thought he was going to go to the toilet, actually, but he then went out the front door."
"Humph" said Maggie, mumbling a little herself, "Anyway, Juniper, want the last of the grapes?"
"Sure, thanks, they're really yummy." said Juniper, helping herself to the last bunch.
She was now holding the last grape in her hand, surveying it with a mournful expression.
"Pity, the last one. And, also, it is really nice that you are looking after me..."
"That's fine." / "It's nothing."
Her expression became even more mournful.
"And everyone else looks after me, also. Even Kaydence. I can't do much by myself, can it?"
Uh-oh, since when did she start to realise that she was so dependent on everyone else. And what can I do about it?
"Juniper, it's OK, we don't mind at all." said Maggie.
"But I want to do something in return! I don't want to be a useless hanger on, contributing nothing!"
Oh shit. What do I do about this?
Fortunately, Erasyl wasn't completely lacking ideas.
"Why not help out with the chores? Especially preparing meals and cleaning up afterwards - well you are doing that already along with everyone else, but you could make a bigger contribution - in fact, why not be the one to do Devina's and Teylon's share of the duties?"
"I suppose, well, yes, I could do their share for them! Since they do so much for me!"
My, Juniper is actually getting excited about the possibility of - doing kitchen chores?
"Course, I wouldn't mind if you do some of my chores for me - gulp."
What Erasyl was about to finish with was cut off by a high-energy not quite death glare from Maggie. She levitated one of her nails so that it was in front of Erasyl's nose, slowly rotating.
"Remember, young Erasyl, that it's Devina and Teylon that do a lot for Juniper. Definitely not you. OK?"
"Ah, OK, OK. Juniper, I won't be needing your assistance since I am more than ready and full of enthusiasm at the idea of doing my own share of the chores."
"Very good." said Maggie.
Juniper giggled at this. "You two are such fun to watch."
"Err, what?" / "We are?"
Maggie and Erasyl shared a look, then as if by mutual assent they ignored the topic and went back to finishing off their lunches.
Maggie gave a sigh of contentment and leaned back in her chair.
"Ah, that's enough food for me. At least until tea time."
The other two murmured their agreements, and acted as if they didn't have a care in the world as they also leant back in their chairs.
Maggie, however, did have a very pressing moral dilemma to solve.
If I start picking my teeth with one of these tooth picks, would it clash with my lady like demeanour?
Hmm, can't see I care what Erasyl thinks about it, but, on the other hand, Juniper is definitely a proper young lady...
Oooooh shit. Again.
She dropped her worries about such abstract moral matters and concentrated on Juniper. Who was having another upsetting flashback incident.
Juniper's face lost its look of contentment and slowly took one of revulsion. She leant forward, over the table, and supported her head in her hands.
"It's another episode. Why must they happen to me?"
She made a gagging sound.
"Ugh, they get worse and worse, and remember more and more - oh shit."
Her whole body cringed and squirmed.
"Horrible, horrible. Why do I have to remember this?"
She started crying.
Maggie looked at her in horror.
What the hell do I do? What can I do?
Erasyl, however, had the presence of mind to drag his chair next to Juniper's. He put his arms around her.
"It's all right, we are here to look after you."
Juniper was sweating and her face was looking slightly greenish. She put her head on Erasyl's shoulder, so Erasyl tightened his grip to a full hug.
How does he know how to do that?
And what if I copy him and sit on the other side of Juniper?
Sitting next to Juniper, she tentatively put her arms around Juniper. Since Erasyl was already there, then that meant she was also hugging Erasyl's arms.
This is getting a bit weird, but let's concentrate on looking after Juniper first!
"Ah, what do you keep remembering?" said Maggie.
"I was used - my body was used - ah - it's so horrible, I was told to do things - revolting things - and I just did them! I didn't think about what I was doing at all! That man with the white hair must have been the first. But there were others, although their memories are much dimmer. I was used and then just told to go away, back to my dormitory. Discarded like a dirty rag. But now I can't keep the images out of my mind, oh, I, it's so sickening..."
She started making gagging noises, her face turned green, and then she vomited up her lunch. Since she was facing Erasyl, he got most of it, mainly on his shirt.
Shit! It's all over the place! Oh shit, those purple splodges must be the grapes...
Maggie struggled to control her reactions. She hyperventilated for a few moments, and eventually decided she was not going to also follow suit.
At least that's something, wouldn't want to waste that fine lunch.
"Sorry! Sorry! The images are too much..."
Juniper began sobbing, tears falling onto Erasyl's shirt, although by now they did not make much difference.
However, Erasyl merely smiled, patted Juniper on the back, and said.
"That's all right, accidents happen. Why don't you let yourself be held by Maggie, and I'll clean up the mess?"
He gently guided Maggies arms so that they were holding Juniper directly, then he got up and disappeared out of their sight. A minute later, he was back, with some damp teacloths. He had obviously already cleaned up himself, the front of his shirt and trousers were still damp.
"Here, Maggie, help Juniper clean herself up."
He then disappeared and returned with a mop and bucket, and with calm efficiency, cleaned up the mess. Within five minutes, he was back on his chair, arms around both girls.
How did he know how to do all of that? I didn't even realise that cleaning up vomit was a skill, yet alone one that he would know.
"How's it going now? Are the memories fading?" said Erasyl.
"Not really, but I seem to be able to cope with them better now."
Both Erasyl and Maggie were leaning in, holding Juniper, their heads touching hers.
She's sweating and gasping, I can still smell the vomit, her eyes are red from crying, this is really hard to take... So how is Erasyl coping so well? How the fuck did he get to be so much better than me at comforting a distressed girl?
I'll just keep following his lead and hope for the best.
"That man, those men, they make me feel so dirty, so disgusting, they were just, just, ... yuck."
"Why not try thinking of something better? Something more wholesome? Maybe that will counteract the, err, depravity of their actions." said Erasyl.
"More wholesome. Yeah, they are certainly not even the slightest bit wholesome. If I ever meet that white hair man I'm going to scream and run away. I hope he meets a horrible end!"
Wow, the first negative thing I've ever heard Juniper say about anyone.
"Well, perhaps we can get Francesca to throw a pink fireball at him?" said Maggie.
Juniper managed to produce a weak giggle. "But I don't think she would want to kill someone like that."
There was a rapid glance between Erasyl and Maggie, a glance of alarm.
Shit, I forgot Juniper doesn't know about the Girls in Pink.
"Never mind, it was only a joke!" said Maggie.
"Actually I'm feeling a little bit better already, just talking to you. Although the memories are not going away. I think they must be back for good... But at least Devina and Teylon keep on giving me access to more of my good memories."
"Good, good, just keep thinking about nice people, not those - "
Erasyl struggle to find a suitable word to describe them, and finally gave up.
"Not those not nice men."
Juniper relaxed a little, her face regaining some of her normal colouring.
"I can think about you two. You're both nice and definitely wholesome!"
Yeah, I guess I will have to agree that Erasyl is nice and wholesome. As long as he doesn't relapse into his obnoxious behaviour mode.
"You are surely meant for each other, I think it is so nice."
"Ah, well..." said Erasyl.
"Wait, no, we're not an item..." said Maggie.
"You're not? But, but, I thought you were?" said Juniper.
The worry lines started crinkling up above her nose, showing Juniper was certainly not liking this information. In fact, she began to get distressed again.
Oh hell, please don't fall back into another episode - bloody hell, her psyche is so fragile, an unkind look might sent her back over the edge.
I'll have to tell her something-
She had the image of an Angel of Death looking over her shoulder:
Right, and it had better be the truth. Any less would be totally disrespectful to everybody concerned.
I am so going to regret with extreme embarrassment what I'm going to say.
"Juniper, it's all right. I don't hate Erasyl or anything like that."
She still did not look very happy.
"Those memories," she said, while clenching her fists and shaking her head, as if to try to get the memories out, "Are so vile and, and, loveless, it makes me feel..."
She struggled to find the words.
"To feel completely alienated from all things good. As if I'm cut off from any love and kindness and gentleness. That's why I love Devina and Teylon so much, they connect me back to humanity. And why I love watching you two when you are together."
She looked at Maggie's eyes, right in front of her own.
"But, if you don't like each other..."
Shit. Here goes. Hope I don't have to kill Erasyl later.
"Juniper, I do have feelings for Erasyl. We had a rough first few meetings, but he has shown he is consistently kind hearted, he never says anything negative about people, he looks after people, for example he ignored his fears about deep water to help that little girl, he showed bravery in our battle with, ah"
Oops, can't mention the Girls in Pink here.
"With a group we had to fight at one stage, he has always been there for me when I needed help. Also, he has never been the least bit frightened of me - well he certainly get nervous when I threaten to zap him - but he is not actually scared of me. Which is a big plus. In fact, I wonder if he just likes scary women, after he is surrounded by them.
A giggle from Juniper, who was following her words intently.
"And also, there's the matter that I'm, shall we say, not the best at socialisation. Not that Erasyl is any better, mind you! I have in the past gotten very irritated at people and I tended to last out in anger, er, but I never hurt anyone! However it meant my friendship group was, basically, zero. So it is taking me some time to adjust to mixing with others."
Just don't look at Erasyl!
"And, ah, actually he looks pretty handsome, you know?"
A smile from Juniper.
"Yeah, I agree, he does. And Leroy. Although I have no intention of taking either of them, OK?"
Maggie, feeling her face burn, kept looking away from Erasyl. Which was made difficult by the fact that his face was right on the opposite side of Juniper’s from hers.
"Aww, you're so cute!" said Juniper.
I, what, I am? And, anyway, surely she can't see me blushing! Maybe she can feel the heat?
"Don't you agree, Erasyl?" said Juniper, turning to face him.
"Ah, yes, she is ever so cute."
"And, of course, you like her, don't you?"
"Y-Yes, I do. Hmm, well, maybe I do like scary women. I really admire how she has managed to gain such a high level, and how cool she is when she is using it to fight back against, ah, various foes. And, underneath that angry face and those threats of her, she really is a sweetie - I keep hoping she will show that side to me one day. Oh, and also she is, of course, a very attractive young lady."
"So nice, you are meant for each other. Even if you haven't, for some reason, gotten together quite yet."
At this, Juniper seemed content. She relaxed into their combined embrace and appeared to be drifting off.
"I say, why don't you let Maggie take you to your room and help you change your clothes and perhaps you might like to have a little sleep?" said Erasyl.
Juniper happily agreed, and Maggie led her off. As soon as they were gone, Erasyl raced to his own room, changed into clean clothes and put his dirty ones into the laundry. He then went back to the living area and did a more thorough cleaning up. By the time he had finished, and settled down to a cup of coffee, Maggie came out.
"I have some freshly prepared coffee for you." he said.
"Oh. Thanks."
She sat down next to him. She drank some of her coffee. They both looked forward, not at each other. Without saying anything, she pulled out from one of her pockets a packet of small pins. Using her magnetic abilities, she levitated them all, then began making patterns with them. She kept on making them move around, weaving ever more complex patterns, creating a moving abstract sculpture of glittering pins, their shiny surfaces reflecting the room's lights, as they danced around in mid air - until she added one too many complications and she lost control. Before the pins could fly off in all directions, she scooped them up into one compact ball sitting in midair, then guided them back into the packet.
"I do these exercises half a dozen times a day. It helps with coordinating my power when controlling many different objects."
"Well, I can certainly see you have had to work hard to gain your proficiency. Which is another thing I admire about you. Such practice is not something I need to do, since there's nothing for me to practice, so I guess I got it lucky."
A minute's silence.
"Normally, of course, if I had said all of those embarrassing things to you, I would have had to kill you afterwards to keep them secret." said Maggie.
"Ah, right."
"But, you know, in comparing my situation, or your situation, with Juniper's, well, there is no comparison, is there? Her plight makes our troubles with our relationship with each other look so insignificant they are barely visible. And I used to obsess so much about the sorry state of my relationships. Well, there was the Ajaeren stuff. We were so close to being that creep's sex slaves, it still gives the horrors. But, nonetheless, overall, our troubles barely rank it compared to hers."
Maggie gave a long, drawn out sigh.
"So, I don't know, shall we merely get over it already and continue with our lives? And, for the time being, I request that we do not make any further advances in our relationship. Let's wait for the whole situation surrounding Teylon to settle down." said Maggie.
"Yes, I'm fine with that."
"And Erasyl, how the hell did you get to be so good at looking after damsels in distress?"
"Oh, that, well you see, our family has a lot of very young cousins, and I and my brothers were always relegated the task of looking after them at our frequent family get togethers. And when my two bothers, who are somewhat older than me, realised that I could do it all by myself, well, that's what I ended up doing. Have I mentioned that my brothers are both hunking great giants? When they told me to do something, I didn't have much recourse. Although, in truth, I rather liked looking after children."
"My, another positive facet of your personality. Wonders never cease."
"Err, thanks. I think."
"And, how about we keep quiet about our sort of confessions to each other and don't tell anyone else?" said Maggie.
"You forgot that Juniper will probably be telling everyone about what happened?"
"Oh. I did forget. And asking her to keep that part a secret won't in any way work, will it? I guess it can't be helped."
More silence.
"Hmm, and every time I remember Ajaeren, I can barely stop myself from shuddering in revulsion and horror. So, well, what I would like to say, we can support each other? Just, like, I actually feel a bit calmer when I'm with you..." said Erasyl.
Maggie looked at Erasyl's hand, which he was holding out sort of in front of him.
He wants me to hold his hand again, doesn't he? But he's too scared to be too bold about it.
Do I want to hold his hand?
I suppose so. I deserve some support in my life right now - and he is in fact offering it.
So Maggie reached out with her hand and took his.
And then they sat there, feeling awkward and self conscious, for a minute or two. Eventually:
"Well, in that case I think I'm going to have a rest too." said Maggie.
She lay in her bed, watching the shadow of the afternoon sun slowly creep up the wall of her room.
This whole situation can't just keep on going like this.
----------------------------------------
Devina: True confession time.
Just before teatime, Devina, along with the others, had listened with interest as Juniper told them about Erasyl and Maggie.
So, they were forced to reveal their most embarrassing secrets, just like Teylon was. Juniper certainly has an amazing talent for that, even though she's not the slightest bit aware of it. I wonder if anyone else will end up being subjected to it?
"And, that's right, from now on I'm going to do the kitchen and cleaning duties of Teylon and Devina. It's the least I can do, in return for all the help they give me." said Juniper.
"But, there's no need to do so much extra work..." said Devina, getting agitated.
"Oh, I don't know, I think it's an excellent idea," said Teylon, "After all, she wants to regain her place in society, to be able to act like an adult, etc, etc."
"Ah, I suppose..." said Devina.
Juniper clapped her hands together to express her joy. "That's great, I can start right now with the preparations for this meal!"
She looks so happy, and all she is doing is taking over a few of our chores?
That's - amazing. She certainly is a lovely young lady.
Juniper, being closest to Teylon, gave him a small hug. "Thanks, Teylon!"
Teylon hugged her back, smiling kindly, before backing off slightly.
I need to talk this over with someone, I don't think he is taking this commitment stuff all that well.
Next Juniper moved to Devina, and also hugged her.
"Thanks, Devina. You're such a good person." she said, smiling at Devina.
The world lurched for Devina.
Good person? Me a good person? What is she talking about?
Juniper was still looking at her, and started to frown. "Why are you looking so strange?"
She thinks I'm a good person. Me?
What do I do now?
What do I say to that?
I suppose, I can't lie, can I? Not to Juniper. Otherwise it makes everything I have ever said to her feel like a lie also.
But, if I tell the truth... I lose her anyway.
"Devina! What's happening to you?" said Juniper, raising her voice and getting anxious.
Everyone else looked on in surprise. It was the first time they had ever heard her being so emotional with her voice.
"Ah, Juniper, you see, well, I'm not really very much of a good person, after all."
"Of course you are! Ever since I got back my ability to think for myself, you have been there, helping me. Along with Teylon, of course. You have been totally kind to me! How can you say such things?"
What's the use. I have already lost everything, anyway.
She collapsed onto her knees, still in front of Juniper.
"Sorry Juniper, but I have been deceiving you all along. I am not a good person. I killed my father, and even now I still don't regret it."
Juniper looked at Devina with a totally blank face. "Err, what?"
"I killed him. I pulverised the concrete balustrade under his arms and he fell ten stories."
Juniper, looking as if she still was not making much sense of this, also knelt down. She put her arms onto Devina's shoulders.
"I don't understand this. Why would you want to kill your father?"
"Because he gradually went insane over a number of years and kept on burning me on my back and arms with his soldering iron. I have scars all over my back."
"Ah..."
Seeing that Juniper was still struggling to understand this, Devina repeated the story she had told Tamara about her tortures, filling in extra detail.
Slowly, gradually, a look of horror crept across Juniper's face. She sputtered a few times, and then eventually managed to get out a coherent question.
"May I look at your back?"
If it's Juniper I don't mind that - wait, there are men in the room!
She looked up, just in time to see Adalace and Maggie pushing the two boys out of the front door. Teylon had apparently already exited, no doubt he had rapidly worked out that he was not needed. And then everyone else left, except for Francesca and Tamara.
Now it's safe to show them.
She pulled off her shirt.
Juniper moved around to look.
"Oh." said Juniper.
She softly traced her fingers across the scars.
"Does it hurt now?"
"No, but they can itch very badly when I get sweaty."
Juniper moved around so as to be kneeling directly in front of Devina, then gently wrapped her arms around her back and drew Devina's body to her.
"That's all so horrible, so horrible. But, to me, you are still a good person."
Juniper put her head right next to Devina's, and maintained her hold.
Maybe it's Juniper who is really the angel round here?
Damn, my vision's getting blurry.
Francesca took a bunch of tissues from a conveniently located box of tissues, and put them into Devina's hand.
Then both Francesca and Tamara also left the room.
Francesca: Has her own intense moment
Francesca walked out of the front door, following Tamara. She closed it with a soft click.
Everybody is expectantly waiting for an update
"Well," she said, looking at the gathering now sitting under the patio, "There's now a full blown cryfest happening in there. They may be some time."
Various murmurs of approval from the crowd.
Francesca looked at Teylon. She projected this feeling of being slightly aggrieved.
"You really are amazing, ya know? You casually waltz in, with a bunch of teenagers you just happened to have met, and you end up allowing both Devina and Tamara to regain their lives. Well, they still have a long way to go, and I suppose it must have been made possible by your alleged Angel of Death, but still, it's bloody impressive. And, now I'm starting to also think I might have a future in front of me. One that doesn't entail killing shitty men. Which I have come to decide is a really shitty way of making a living."
While she was saying this, she had her left hand touching the left side of her face.
Teylon looked both thankful and tired.
"I happily accept your gratitude, although I haven't a clue how much is due to me and how much is due to Esmeralda."
"Well, we can only see you, so that's who we are inclined to thank."
There was long contemplative silence. Everyone had a lot to think about. Francesca kept on gently massaging the disfigured side of her face.
Finally, Leroy, sitting next to Kaydence, stood up and walked over to stand in front of Francesca, a safe metre and a half away.
"Just like Erasyl said, you keep on touching the left side of your face when you are getting emotional. How long ago was that disastrous affair of yours?"
Where's he coming from?
"Oh, about eight years or so."
"I bet you haven't hugged anyone, yet alone a man, in all that time, yes?"
And where's this going to? But, answering these questions is certainly something different from normal.
Also, he's looking just a bit nervous. Which is understandable.
"Well, you've got me there."
"So, how about I give you a hug?"
What? What?
"You want to hug me? But, but, ah, you're far too young for me to be interested in you, you know."
"That's right. And I've already got someone else in mind, err, never mind who. So there's no strings attached, I'm just suggesting a purely friendly hug. From a man, well, boy."
A hug from a boy. A boy the same age as that dickhead back then.
And Leroy is still looking at my face. At the disfigured side of my face. The side that the dickhead always avoided. The side that he considered revolting.
She put down her hand from her face.
"I, err, you want to... Ah, but don't you find my face to be off putting?"
"No, really I never have. Admittedly, I found the whole of you terrifying when we first met, what with you trying to kill us and all of that, and it took me more than a few visits to get used to you. And it's certainly a handicap to go around looking like that, and even now I'm kind of nervous about you, but I have never found your face to be unpleasant."
"Oh. Right."
And he is still looking at me with no signs of being repelled. This is weird. I think. I don't know.
"Well, then, sure."
So Leroy stepped closer, and carefully put his arms around her for a full body hug. And he put his head on her left side, so the side of his face was contacting her disfigured side. Francesca stood there, blank look on her face, then slowly put her arms around him.
A man is giving me a hug. Ok, a young man. And he's touching my disfigured side.
And he doesn't mind it a bit.
After a minute or so, Leroy gently disengaged and stood back. Francesca remained where she was, staring into space and spacing out.
That felt so strange. All those years of carrying around this feeling of being ashamed about my looks, of feeling that every man who sees me is repelled, of hearing the dickhead's derisive laughter about my appearance, of thinking I'll never have any friendly contact with any man - and Leroy just walks up and gives me a hug.
What does it all mean?
It's no magical cure, is it? I'm still the same old mean bitch that I've always been.
Perhaps it means I can try to be less of a bitch in future?
Perhaps I don't have to let my past shackle me quite so much?
Perhaps I can change the course of my life to something better?
I suppose so.
It's going to be bloody hard, but.
But, perhaps I now have a chance?
Francesca came out of her intense introspection, to realise that everyone was watching her intently.
This is a bit embarrassing.
But what do I do now...
Reconnecting with my family might be a good idea.
Uh-Oh, that means I'm going to have to be the first one to make a move. Which means I'm going to have to apologise to them.
She remembered Adalace's encounter with her rapist. How he was forced to make at least some effort at recognising the pain he had caused.
Shit. That forces me to the conclusion that I will also have to make some sort of apology to the dickhead.
I'm even going to have to call him by his proper name.
Sigh. This is going to be ever so annoying.
Get over it girl, life wasn't meant to be easy. No excuses allowed, suck it up and just do it.
She had a little idea. She put on her evil grin, and spoke to Leroy, still waiting patiently a safe metre and a half away.
"Well now, you've really got me there, didn't you? I sure I would have come to the same conclusion sooner or later anyway, but you've made it sooner. I've decided to try reopening relationships with my family. And, this is going to be a real pain I can assure you, but I've decided I should finally apologise to the dickhead. Ah, I mean to, shit, what was his name, Oh... That's right, Richard. What with the sterling examples provided by you teenagers, I've decided that, if I want to improve my life, I have no choice in the matter."
"That's - all to the good." said Leroy.
Francesca stepped up to him, put one hand on his shoulder and said.
"And what's more, young man, you're going to find that girl you bullied in school and apologise to her."
"Ah, what? Ah, gulp, ah, yes, I guess I have to."
Leroy's face had gone pale, but he was a true hero and took it like a man.
Everyone else, relieved that there was no violent consequences of his actions, had a good laugh.