“What are you playing at, Guardian?” Jaya asked Sparrow angrily. “First you say you will not help us, then you help us anyway? Where will you draw the line? Will you finally act when we are all dead at your feet like Colson?”

The three of them were sitting around a campfire. Jaya had done something to the shadows of the forest around them, bending the light so no one could see their fire from afar, but the flames still made Sparrow feel exposed. He was distracted, thinking of the beast Colson and Lone Wolf had fought and if Jaya’s bending light trick would conceal their presence from such a creature. He didn’t respond right away, staring at her in surprise.

“What do you mean, Grandmother?” Myrum asked with a cautious tone to her voice.

“Did you not notice how we never tire until the sun is gone? Two days we have run, not needing to stop for food or water, or even to catch our breath until the sun is completely gone. We have covered more ground in the last two days than we covered in the previous five combined. I did nothing to strengthen us, nor would I be able to strengthen myself in such a way” Jaya explained, her frustration still plain in her voice.

Sparrow knew what she said was true. He had been strengthening his companions, wanting to intervene and find the others faster, to protect them from whatever this unknown threat was. Yet, he did not feel outright intervention would be appropriate. His help was subtle and did nothing to lighten or darken the possible outcome he was hoping for.

“Well? Are you going to say anything or keep staring at me like a pup caught with their hand in the candied jerky jar?” Jaya snapped.

Sparrow felt a twinge of anger at her tone of voice. Ultaris may have kept the darker aspects of their shared soul, yet Sparrow was still his own person, if a mild-tempered one, and disliked the disrespect in her voice. He was about to respond in kind when he realized that her anger was misplaced. She wanted the same answers and goals he wanted from this detour in their plans and must feel as if his abilities were a great resource dangled like a … like a piece of candied jerky in front of her face. He also suspected that Colson’s death hit her harder than she was willing to admit, or at least she was not ready to face it yet. He was as much of a son to her as he was a father to Myrum.

Sparrow curbed his anger as he responded. “As I said before, I can see a wide array of possibilities in the future, and most actions enhance or diminishes certain outcomes. I think of interfering in certain ways and the possibilities we want … that I want rather, become more or less likely. The outcome did not darken when I thought of strengthening your bod-”

“Bah!” Jaya interrupted with a savage growl, clearly angry at the response she knew she was going to hear. She stood up and stalked off into the woods, hands clenched in anger as she confronted her own emotions. After a few paces, the light bent around her and she physically disappeared, masked by her illusionary spell.

Myrum and Sparrow sat in silence for a time. Myrum had been especially quiet on their journey, which was to be expected considering her loss. Which made it all the more surprising when she spoke.

“Sparrow, how do your people deal with … death? I mean, how do you mourn the loss of a loved one?”

Sparrow had been thinking along the same lines the last few days, puzzled at the mixed feelings he had about Colson’s death. He had not known the man very well, although his assistance in recent events had been a vital aid, and Sparrow expected that he was continuing to champion their cause as a spirit.

“I’m not sure I can answer your question, Myrum. I don’t fully remember my current existence as a dragon, or the wealth of knowledge that came with the mantel of a guardian, let alone my existence before this state. All I have is theories.”

Myrum continued to stare at him. The shadows of the firelight playing on the kanidian’s face made reading her thoughts impossible.

“Very well. It isn’t much, but I believe my people are immortal. Life dispersed her essence into pure energy to strengthen the power of the attack that destroyed Ultaris … that destroyed me … yet we both still live” Sparrow said plainly.

“She lives in the trapped existence of your subconscious” Myrum stated plainly.

“No, the void was created by the shattering of Ultarius’ mind and body, thus it is connected to me, to us, but it is not part of my mental faculties,” Sparrow said quickly, disliking the thought of seekers, revenants, and many other creatures walking within his mind.

“Then what is it?”

“It’s a … part of us” Sparrow said haltingly, unsure of how to explain the knowledge he could not put into words.

“Part of you and Ultaris? I don’t understand. What part?” Myrum asked with confusion in her voice.

Sparrow was again reminded of another concept he knew little about. So much of his existence, including his past and present state, was fractured. He could guess and speculate all he wanted, but he knew nothing for certain. Just half-truths. He suspected it would take his union with Ultaris to find the true answers.

Myrum was still waiting for him to respond, so he cleared his throat and tried to answer her questions using information Jonathan had given him about their battle in the void.

“Remember the mimics you all fought in the void? It was only when Izreea pushed the darkness away from the soil, and her empowered scythes touched the ground, that Life was unrepressed and able to take physical form again. So, her immortality is not defined by her lack of aging or the fact that she has an eternal soul, but rather by her ability to conquer death and live again. Not like the rebirth of the souls of mortals, forgetting their past when they are reborn, but the ability to form her own body of her choosing as she continues to just … exist.

“I believe the void is that part of my power. The immortal renewal and overpowering of death taking physical form in a dark dimension. In a way, the darkness makes sense because my people are beings of light. We do not have physical bodies, we do not need to eat or age, sleep, or die. Like the stars in the sky, we wax and wane, dimension, and then renew and shine again. The void is its opposite, a sun made of eternal darkness, overpowering the pitiful shadows cast by the light of this world.”

Myrum was listening intently, absorbing the information. She turned slightly as she heard Jaya returning to the camp through the illusion. She hesitated in continuing the conversation but decided to ask her question anyway.

“What of the trees and grass Life created in the void? If the void is your immortality, then what is the purpose of the plant life?”

“I honestly do not know. I keep hoping I will find myself in the void when I sleep, in her presence once more, so I can ask such things, but I do not know how to reach her” Sparrow said longingly, whispering the last part.

“I can answer part of that question” Jaya said as she materialized and took a seat on the ground near the fire.

Her demeanor was calm, holding none of the anger she previously showed. Instead, there was a hint of embarrassment in her voice as if she was confessing something.

“I was angry, and frustrated, and decided I would use the void to find Lone Wolf on my own. I reasoned I could travel to him in hours using the focus of my mind to reach him far faster than traveling on foot, even with your strengthening aid, Sparrow. Yet, I could not enter the void. It is as if the dark world has been closed off, or at least the portion of that world surrounding us. I believe the trees Life created are purifying the void in preparation to return your immortality to you when you join with Ultaris. Part of that process is the casting out of dark entities. I may not be a lich, but I hold the power of one, and thus I cannot enter the void” Jaya explained.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

To Sparrow; Jaya sounded lost. It was as if a part of her that had always been a unique and useful gift was suddenly deemed unworthy. Combine this with Colson’s death, and her frustration with Sparrow’s stance on assisting their cause, and one could see why she was struggling with controller her outward appearance.

“You believe I am also restrained from entering the void” Sparrow said, softly. Not asking, but stating the unspoken words.

“Yes. Maybe not for the same reason. Maybe you cannot obtain your immortality in your broken form, or maybe you can and it would prevent your union with Ultaris. I’m not sure, but either way, it would be expedient to refrain from entering the void for now, even in dreams.

“Very well” Sparrow said resolutely.

Sparrow suddenly felt irritated at events. He disliked the lack of information and restrictions placed upon him. As he thought about it, he realized that must be how Jaya felt about him not using his abilities to help them. The irony of the thought caused him to become angry, and he suddenly wanted to be alone with his thoughts.

Immediately Jaya and Myrum both stood up and began walking to their bedrolls. They stumbled part of the way, Myrum groaning as she let out a massive yawn as if she could not overcome the fatigue that had come over her. Jaya tried to speak, to fight the fatigue, but it was clear she could not overcome her exhaustion. They both lay on their bedrolls they had placed under the leaves of a nearby tree and were instantly asleep.

Sparrow bolted to his feet, his eyes wide in surprise as he stared at the two sleeping forms. He was not entirely sure how he managed to translate thought into magic, yet it was clear he was the cause of their sudden fatigue. He had not intended to make his thoughts become reality, and the concept startled him. What angry daydream or absurd notion could he unleash upon those around him with nothing more than a fleeting thought?

Sparrow analyzed what happened, able to see his own past as if he was reliving the moment, and he could see what took place. He had been sustaining their bodies so they could travel with little rest, only sleeping and eating at night, and then only sleeping for about five hours. Somehow, he had retroactively withdrawn his magical aid through time, causing several days’ worth of intense exertion to slam into their bodies.

Sparrow knew that level of physical exhaustion could have killed them. He was lucky they were Kanidians as their species are heartier than humans; he did not think a human could have survived such an ordeal. The greater question is why had the exhaustion been retroactively applied instead of his strengthening aid just ceasing from that moment forward. It was as if he had gone back in time and removed all of his aid, and he did not know how he did it. He resolved to stop all magical aid until he could ask the Bruno family, all highly trained in the arcane arts, about what had happened.

Sparrow decided there was nothing he could do about their fatigue without using magic, and that natural rest was the best cure. He lay on his bedroll and thought about his mate, Life, and how he longed to see her again.

*****

Sparrow bolted awake to the sound of a blood-curdling battle cry! He shot to his feet and saw Myrum running towards an invisible target with her great axe in her hands. Sparrow altered his vision to see through the barrier and saw Lone Wolf. Lone Wolf was standing about twelve paces from the group with his weapon stuck into the ground, well out of reach. He was beyond the light-bending barrier Jaya had placed around the group so he could not see the source of the battle cry, yet he appeared as calm as a sleeping babe.

Sparrow shattered the barrier with a thought so Lone Wolf could see Myrum coming, and began to dart forward to intercept Myrum, knowing they needed answers from Lone Wolf and he could not provide them if he was dead. Jaya stepped in front of Sparrow and blocked him with a hand on his chest. Her touch hit hard, knocking him back a few paces, and it was clear she had used magic to empower her strike.

Sparrow’s anger flared and he instinctively began to enhance his body to fight, but then he saw the look of surprise on Jaya’s face. She had been trying to subdue a demi-god, not realizing he was not using his powers to physically intervene, just his body. He nodded once to let her know all was well as he fought down his anger at the strike, then they both turned to watch Myrum.

Sparrow and Jaya’s exchange had taken mere moments, and they turned as Myrum reached her target and swung her great axe over her head. Lone Wolf sidestepped the swing, keeping his arms folded behind his back as he effortlessly dodged the attack. He spun away from Myrum as the axe came off the ground in a backhanded swing, bent forward under the blade, then backflipping away from Myrum as she spun with her swing. She used the backswing’s momentum to begin a spinning attack, switching hands to keep the blade in a smooth swing above her head as she swung it in circles in the air, repeatedly slashing at her target.

Although her attack was skilled, she was swinging as fast and as hard as she could, passion and anger overriding calculation and strategy. She continued to hack at him, wearing herself out, constantly missing as Lone Wolf danced around her. He was dodging, bending, and jumping in a skillful dance using as little energy as possible, always keeping his hands folded behind him. He had expected the attack, and this was his response. Survival without retaliation.

In a few minutes, Myrum was panting and out of breath, and her arms ached. She could barely hold the axe, let alone continue with her endless swings. She held the weapon in front of her, pointing it at Lone Wolf as tears freely flowed over the fur on her face. Lone Wolf was panting softly and still had his hands behind his back, regarding Myrum with respect and sadness while keeping his eyes downcast.

No words were said for almost a full minute. Myrum tightened her grip on the haft of the axe, and Sparrow thought for a moment that she was going to renew her onslaught. Then she dropped the axe and walked up to Lone Wolf. He let his arms drop to his side, and relaxed his stance, but did not move when she came to stand in front of him, close enough to touch.

Myrum was taller than Lone Wolf, although not by much. Their eyes met for some time, neither blinking. Their nostrils flared as they smelled one another, and after a moment, Myrum slapped the jackal in the face, hard. The slap was slow, clumsy, and could have easily been avoided, but Lone Wolf let it land. His face did not move as he barely felt the impact. His lack of reaction reminded Sparrow that jackals were immune to physical harm, being only hurt by strong magics and magically enhanced weapons.

Myrum pressed her forehead to Lone Wolf’s forehead, both bending their necks so their longer snouts pointed straight down, locking their eyes. They both breathed heavily, using their enhanced senses to smell each other. To a human or Dardwain; touching foreheads in this way would have been an endearing act, usually between loved ones. To Kanidians with their enhanced senses; it was a probe. It was a way to smell and feel the emotions and intentions of another. It did not mean that violence was off the table.

For some time Myrum breathed deeply, probing Lone Wolf with her senses. She was angry. She wanted to be angry and felt that she deserved to be angry. She wanted to sense pride in the jackal, pride in his abilities and haughtiness and smugness at the ease of his defense. She wanted to sense justification and logic involving the murder of Colson. She wanted an excuse to keep fighting, to drive her grandmother to fight, which she felt would take little convincing.

Yet she could not act on the emotions she sensed from Lone Wolf. She sensed regret. An intense, deep regret. The regret of one wronged to their core. One who loathed themselves, and found nothing worthwhile when they gazed at their reflection. She was surprised by the depth of the loathing she sensed, and the complete lack of any form of pride. She had assumed Lone Wolf would feel some regret from committing such a horrible act, yet he smelled almost suicidal in his regret. If death is what he sought she would gladly aid him, yet he had effortlessly thwarted her furious assault when he could have let her attack him.

If not death … then why is he here? Myrum thought to herself before stepping away from Lone Wolf. She turned from him and retrieved her weapon, then returned it to her other possessions and began breaking down their small camp as if nothing was out of the ordinary. As she worked, Jaya spoke loudly to Lone Wolf, not bothering to close the distance between them.

“Thanks to Sparrow’s influence over time, we know what transpired with Colson. However, the “why” is still in question. Will you shed light upon your actions, Lone Wolf?” Jaya said calmly, yet there was a dangerous tone to her voice like the tension of a pulled arrow ready to lose.

“Of course, Motherseeker. I accept your judgment” Lone Wolf said with an inclination of his head.

He still slurred titles together and spoke as if he was biting each word as they left his mouth, but his speech had improved since the last time they had spoken. It felt quicker and more natural.

He must have been practicing with Colson, Sparrow thought, probably without knowing that Colson was intentionally helping him with his speech. Sparrow suspected such an act was typical of Colson; aiding a comrade without them knowing he was assisting them. Again, Sparrow lamented not getting to know the man better.

Lone Wolf squat on his haunches as comfortably as a human would sit with folded legs on the ground. Jaya continued to stand as if she was in judgment over the jackal. Lone Wolf sighed heavily before beginning his tale.