He awoke laying in a bush.
Lying on his back, strands of sunlight beaming down through the leaves, his first though was, Things have not gone as planned. This, strangely, was followed closely by his second thought, What were these things and why did they not go as planned? And together they skittered through his mind like scared animals until his third thought - Who is standing on top of me? - arrived and punched both thoughts squarely in the nose, knocking them cold. Thought three then found a seat and made himself comfortable as Lefty looked up to see a web-footed animal looking down on him from atop his stomach. Duck then arrived, pulled up a chair, and introduced himself to number three.
Outwardly, Lefty stared. The duck stared back. After a moment, the duck let out a quack which Lefty found oddly threatening. Where am I? was next, followed by, And why is there a duck? I don’t remember having a duck. He looked down at his clothing. Blue robes and a pair of well worn boots. To his left, a staff of white ash lay next to a leathery tome.
Oh, that’s right, I’m still playing that game. What was it called? Sable Unlimited, right. I was playing Sable Unlimited with my new friend Calista who I had just met and we had run into a little trouble getting out a dungeon filled with dragons and trolls and … But why is there a duck?
Shafts of golden light were shining down through the trees, the bush, and around his feathered companion so that they formed something of a shining golden halo around the duck’s head. It was almost as if the universe were trying to tell him something, though he would be damned if he had any idea what that was.
The duck, still standing on his chest like it was free real estate, let out a warble. This one low and soft, almost as if the bird were trying to warn him of something.
Why do I feel as if I can almost understand what this thing is saying?
The ground shuddered as something massive crunched through the underbrush. Still lying on his back, Lefty looked up through the leaves to see a shadow fall over the bush. Another thundering footfall followed. And then another. And another. Then a towering ogre lumbered into view. Eight feet of corded muscle, hairy warts, and bad temper, the monstrous humanoid had a massive maul hefted over one shoulder as his two off-set eyes, one yellow and one green, looked this way and that. It’s a wandering monster. I’m screwed. He watched as the Ogre neared, drew itself to a stop, and sniffed the air. Oh my stars and garters, it can smell me. A shiver of fear ran down Lefty’s spine as he reached for his staff and spell book. However, as his hand wrapped around his staff, he realized, very suddenly, that the duck had disappeared.
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The ogre looked down and sniffed again. It grunted, then hefted his club off its shoulder and leaned down to inspect. As two greedy red eyes looked down, Lefty crawled away out of the bush’s back side into a thicket. Behind him, he heard the ogre grunt again, and then a set of heavy footsteps followed as it tracked him to the thicket. Lefty, cowering beneath the foliage, crawled deeper into the brush. Above, the ogre began swiping his maul through the underbrush as it searched for the source of the smell. Each swipe of the maul sent a swath of brush and leaves flat against the ground, and every time this happened, Lefty crawled further and further into the thicket. Before he knew it, the grass and brush had all been knocked flat, but for a small patch that just happened to end right at the face of a very large slab of rock. Lefty was cornered.
Another swipe of the maul wiped away the last of the thicket and suddenly Lefty was exposed. The ogre tilted its head as it looked down at the cowering mage. Looking bored and perhaps a little disappointed, the ogre raised his club to strike.
However, as the club was rising, a loud honk echoed through the trees and the ogre looked down in surprise. Another honk and the ogre stepped backward. Then something crashed and as the ogre turned, a series of threatening quacks, hisses, and honks came from around the ogre’s feet until it stumbled, tripped, and finally fell.
Clutching his staff, Lefty scrambled to his feet and ran around to the backside of the rock. Behind him, he heard the ogre regain his feet, roar and then smash his club against the ground. The ogre roared again as the club whistled through the air and smashed into a tree. Wood creaked and groaned as the tree cracked, broke, and fell right at Lefty who had to leap aside to avoid being crushed. Then a threatening quack and a hiss as the ogre spun and smashed his club into a nearby tree. Lefty, seeing the tree break and begin to fall, maneuvered so the boulder was between him and it. He then curled into the fetal position and listened as the tree fell, collided with another tree, which then collided with something else, and then the entire collection of things collided with the ground.
Uncurling his fingers from over his eyes, Lefty discovered he was still alive and that everything around him was still. Cautiously, he pulled himself to his feet and peered around to the other side of the tree. There, lying with his face in the mossy grass was the ogre’s unconscious form, his mouth hung open as blood seeped from a massive head wound.
Then a quack from down near his feet.
Below was the duck, its white feathers unblemished, looking up at him with an expectant glare.