The days after the trials passed like a dream. Jehz was allowed to celebrate with his fellow soldiers for the first time since his return leaving, at least temporarily, the shame of the Rising Sun behind him. There was great joy in the retelling of the events of the trials and an obvious shared pride in his accomplishments that seemed to almost instantly close the gulf between him and the rest of the crew. Across the room, the General had beamed at him and as the night wore on felt Jehz was back, a true Musa warrior again, his dream since Jehz was born but one that at times over the last few years seemed lost forever.
For once he was not thought of as the General’s son, his every move turned over and over, questioned and challenged. He felt special, knew he was special, and that an exciting future of possibilities was waiting for him, waiting for them all. The Given would continue to rise and he would help lead the way. He had no idea why the bizarre exchange with the alien had ended up with the suit being in his possession, but he now felt he controlled it and not the other way around. Both he and the suit, if there was even any difference between the two anymore, were fine, better than fine. He would be able to use the suit to bring a brighter future to his Given brothers and sisters and the universe would be a safer place for all people.
As the evening wound down, Naviz approached Jehz and revealed he would be allowed an extended leave to move home under the General’s supervision if that was what he wanted. The Musa leaders had been awed and chastened by his display during the trial, and had instantly reevaluated whether their previous level of control was still necessary or even possible. They needed to turn the corner on this relationship, and quickly, or Jehz’s mounting frustration might turn into something impossible for them to manage and contain. They might lose him to the Rejiz or he might turn on them all in spite of his training and discipline. The kind of power contained in that suit could easily corrupt even those with both Musa and Rija influences.
Time was needed to plan their next moves, evaluate the risks and the General was the one to give it to them. Jehz was ecstatic, especially since the spring festival, one of the few gatherings of all the kilns would be in a few days. It would be his graduation and homecoming plus more rolled into one enormous party. All would soon know of the events at the trials, Jehz was convinced the rumors would leak out regardless of what the Musa leaders did to quiet them and in this case the political value was so high it was probably worth spreading the news themselves. Jehz could finally enjoy himself, finally breathe.
***
As the sun began to fall behind the mountains ringing the Musa city, the crowds were already gathering, noisy and jostling, anticipating the coming festivities. Jehz opened the door to join his mother on the balcony overlooking the main square, instantly feeling the energy of the crowd.
She slipped her arm through his and simply watched the crowd quietly for a minute before speaking. “Everyone is talking about you, Jehz, you know that of course. How did you go from being the most suspicious and distrusted Given on the planet to carrying on your back their hope and dreams? As an Atula wander in the land of the Musa, I could use a little of whatever you have.”
“I wish I knew, Mother. I mean, we all know what happened at the trials, but what it turned into is hard to understand. There have been successful trials before.”
“Not like this though, my son. Not so successful that it caused the most ambitious among us began to dream of a very different world, a world where Given dominance and control can be increased without limit, an expanding bubble raising them effortlessly above the churning and messy chaos of our current efforts. Some of them anyway.”
“You make it sound almost sinister. Surely you are not talking about leaders who would put themselves above the Given people or those we are committed to protect?”
“It has happened, my son, even to the First Leader himself. Part of the special nature of the Balance is the teamwork required among the kilns for the Given to achieve their goals. The struggle binds us together and the strong and historic tradition holds it. But if the struggle were to disappear, the overwhelming power of the suit making the all-consuming collective decisions regarding expansion and planetary management irrelevant, I fear it may all burst apart. For thousands of years, we have had a mission, Jehz, the Given mission, and our everyday efforts reaffirmed it, almost without question. What will we do, to ourselves and to others, without it?”
“My goodness, Mother, that is all quite dramatic. Don’t you think you may be overstating the influence I could have? For all the power I demonstrated today, I am still but one soldier. How much could I change our path without my brothers and sisters by my side to help me?”
“More than you know, Jehz, if the rumors about that suit are even half true. Why do you think you are home with us tonight, granted an unlimited leave after months of being a prisoner? They have not changed their minds about you, my son, they fear you and these are men and women who have seen many things on many worlds and do not scare easily.”
“Is this coming from the General?”
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
“Oh, no, no, dear. He would never tell me anything like that. He can’t, of course, just as a rule, and I would never use my emotional influence to pull him across that line. I don’t really want to know, to be honest, what all those frightful Musa are really thinking about. It would scare me to death. Your father is special, Jehz, more committed to the path of righteousness and decency than perhaps any man I have ever met. It is what drew me to him from the start, there is purity there. The others, especially the senior Musa leaders, are much more likely in their private moments to have very specific and disturbing fantasies of power unchained. It is only strict reminders from their watchful brothers and sisters that keep them mostly in line. That and the looming specter of the Rejiz himself. What will happen then if you fall under their control?”
“Mother, I could never do that. I won’t compare myself to the General, I am still young and learning, but I can’t believe you think I would seek that kind of power? For what reason? Simply to rule and exert control without purpose? You must not think me capable of that, it goes against all my teaching.”
“No, Jehz, of course not. Not intentionally anyway, but your temperament is not like your father’s and existing in the Musa world of power and violence, that puts you at risk. There is a focus and simplicity of thought for him that makes him steady, like a rock holding its position as the sea swirls around it, trying to eat away at its footing, but never being able to dig deep enough. That is not a criticism of the General, it takes enormous discipline and will to hold the line in that way especially after rising to wield the power he does. But that’s not you Jehz, at least not completely. You are much more like me, more prone to be swept up in a magical fantasy, to soar on the wings of a few beautiful ideas, even if those ideas may not in the end have the power to sustain themselves and may even cause great pain and regret when the practical world reaches up to reclaim you. There can be great learning in those mistakes, the chances of the artist and dreamer that may one day provide the base and inspiration for others to build upon. But there is too much danger here for that kind of chance. I fear that need to soar may be used against you, to convince you to try a path other than the slow, boring march of Given progress.”
“I understand what you are saying, Mother, I do and of course I recognize the differences between the General and myself but that seems farfetched doesn’t it? Who could ever propose such a thing and somehow do it in a way that would cause me to betray you and the General?”
“I don’t know, but they exist, those that would try anyway. We are a people with strong, rich history of military conquest, Jehz. The men and women who lead that effort know something about inspiration and persuasion. I know you are young and idealistic, and I love you for it, but please don’t be naïve. Look at all the young people down there in the square, many of them talking about you, looking up to you. Would you not want to have their acclaim and admiration for you to grow? For you to be a hero for all that you are and stand for, to have the real you celebrated after all you have gone through? Few would admit it to wanting it Jehz, and even fewer can resist it. What would you do if leaders promised you that kind of world, one that could also help the Given people achieve their dreams faster than ever before? What would anyone do?
“I just worry about the energy that they will likely expend trying to convince you that sort of elevation would be good for both you and the Given will be considerable. It will happen, Jehz, the wheels are likely already in motion. Promise me you won’t listen to them when they appear at your door, no matter how selfless the story or how grand the promises. Stay true to your family and your path. The shortcut they offer you is one that will only lead you over cliffs of ruin, a fall that may bring the entire house of the Given down with you. Your future is that bright, Jehz, and your power that real. I can feel it and can see the way the others are reacting to it. They will come for you, my son. Be ready.”
Jehz could not imagine what his mother could be talking about and struggled to make sense of it. She was sometimes overly dramatic, an Atula after all, prone to flights of fancy as she herself was quick to admit, but she also seemed legitimately scared. Had she overheard something she could not share? Something she had never meant to hear? Should he really be worried? Perhaps his enemies had not been fully quieted after all and were going to try a new tact to either sully his reputation or fuel their own ambition.
As the two stood silently, Jehz considered his mother’s words and had to admit he was excited by the potential power of the suit and what it might do for his career. But the thought that he would usurp a greater role or help power some breakaway faction of Musa soldiers was ludicrous. He had to admit to himself, really for the first time, that with the power of the suit, he probably could do it if he wanted to, and maybe much, much more. Who would be able to stop him after all, especially if he was somehow convinced it were the right path? Perhaps his mother was right, he might be that dangerous, but he also knew his respect and love for his parents and Musa brothers and sisters would never allow him to even consider such a step. If he were to take it, what would he have left? His successes, his life, would only mean something if they happened as part of the larger Given movement and helped his people and all the people of the galaxy rise together. Jehz could not see that changing no matter what he was promised. He put his arm around his mother’s shoulder and squeezed her tightly, feeling the love they had always so easily shared flow between them, warming his heart and clearing his mind of all the thoughts of conquest and potential and power.
“I’ll be careful, Mother. I promise.”
“I hope so, Jehz.” But as his mother looked away, down at the crowds, she couldn’t help but feel she was already losing him though she couldn’t be sure what to exactly. Hopefully it was nothing like her worst fears but simply a result of all he had been through and she prayed he might someday make his way back to who he was before all this happened. In her heart though, she had to admit that maybe it had gone too far already and these days might be her final memories of the son she had raised. He was becoming someone else and it might be transcendent for the Given or the greatest mistake ever made to let him resume his military career. She had no way of knowing which and it shook her deeply as she knew her influence over him was waning, her ability to bring him around with a few choice words disappearing. Please don’t get lost, my son, she thought, but I’ll be waiting here for you always to help you find your way if you do.