Jehz stood in the air lock, nervous and agitated. Looking around randomly he noticed his commanding officer Naviz had arrived and was standing on the other side of the glass, trying to get his attention. After months of serving as Jehz’s mentor and main contact, he could sense Jehz’s distress.
“You sure you are ready to do this, Jehz? If your feel something is wrong, hit your panic button and we’ll have you back inside before you know it.”
Jehz tried to smile but the nervous tension running through his body made it impossible. Intellectually, he knew he was probably in no serious danger but the thought of once again turning his health and safety over to this force field, or suit, or parasite, or whatever this thing surrounding him was left him with a strange foreboding feeling. More than anything he supposed it was caused by the lack of control he now had to tolerate. On a military mission in his prior life, he had the sense he could make things happen, make the right decisions to help himself survive even if that feeling was oftentimes an illusion. Now the suit was making the decisions for him or at least forcing him into conditions he would not normally be in so it could be “tested” and he was completely dependent on how the suit would perform, how it would behave. It was now part of him, at least according to the scientists but sometimes it felt as if he had been swallowed by a mysterious man-sized invisible alien. Was he food? An energy source? Was it trying to help him or slowly poison his mind? He had no idea.
It had not yet failed to protect him though. But since they were without even a basic understanding of how it worked, or why it worked, it was impossible to feel at ease in any new situation. Would this next experiment be the one that finally failed, resulting in who knows what kinds of physical peril? How could anyone know what was going to happen? What if the suit just decided to shut off, or the original owner or creator could shut it off? The scientists that had been studying him and it knew so little about it, they had no idea what it was or how it was constructed and the decision had been made to call it a “suit” for convenience only. They had no idea if it was even a living entity or not though they were quick to remind him the computer models suggested that was a very remote possibility. Whatever it was, the suit had so far exceeded every expectation he or any of his endless array of military handlers had for it, though the tests to date had been relatively modest in risk. Mild force strikes, exposure to heat and other inhospitable conditions. Unpleasant but nothing he could not have survived without the suit. This time was different and he couldn’t shake the feeling that opening the airlock and stepping into space without standard issue space gear of any kind was a bad idea. But he really had no choice, this was his purpose in life now, his responsibility to his people, according to the Rejiz anyway. No longer a leader, he was now half lab rat, half scientific curiosity, a freak. Though to be fair, he was a “very valuable freak” according to a laughing Naviz and the way the Rija and Musa leadership kept hanging around all the time, he guessed that must be true. At least it was better than being locked in a prison cell, which a decent portion of Given leadership, including some of his father’s close friends, wanted for him. He took a few deep breaths, focusing his mind and meditated in the way his Rija mentors had taught him to do when faced with a life and death situation.
“I’m ready, Naviz. Let’s do it.”
“Your outside support is in place and we have a half dozen experienced space walkers out there, all fully jet-packed. We got you covered, alright buddy? Hit the button when you are ready.”
Jehz nodded, closed his eyes for a second, and hit the airlock button. As the transfer pumps whined and the air thinned, he tried instinctively to take a deep breath, knowing he should start feeling the effects of the reduced oxygen levels any second. To his surprise, he didn’t notice any difference, it felt as if air was still being pumped in.
“I can still breathe normally Naviz, did someone forget to turn off the oxygen pumps?” asked Jehz.
“Nope, O2 is at 25% of normal, you should be feeling pretty uncomfortable right about now. Want to try some situps?”
“Funny. I feel fine though. Can’t feel any effects due to the lower oxygen. Breathing and heartrate normal.”
“OK, no surprise really. You did 40% in the lab for an hour with no obvious problems a few weeks ago. I just thought you were in good shape after all the specialized Rija training they put you through in the monastery. I’ve heard the monks make the Haak elite guard training look like a vacation what with all that sitting around and chanting and meditating. I guess it agreed with you.”
“Real comical Naviz. I am good to proceed to the next step.”
“Ok, then let’s take it down to 0% and see if you are still talking big then, or even talking at all.” Born with a naturally serious disposition, Jehz did not usually joke around much, especially after the incident on Rising Sun, which had turned him even more emotionally reserved than before. Naviz was quite the opposite personality type, always making light of situations, even serious ones, and despite their differences in temperament or maybe because of it, they had quickly developed a natural rapport. Musa senior officers took notice of the easy friendship and way Naviz’s lightheartedness seemed to reduce Jehz’s stress levels and had immediately moved Naviz into an elevated role that had dramatically smoothed the management of Jehz’s situation. Naviz signaled to the tech working the airlock to pump the rest of the oxygen out and turned back to Jehz.
“Here we go but I’m still wondering what color you are going to turn first. Me and the engine crew have a bet so if you can do your best to start with a nice shade of blue, I’d really appreciate it.” Naviz watched Jehz carefully when the pumps started running as this was a dangerous point in the process with oxygen levels well below what they had ever exposed Jehz to before, but Jehz seemed to be showing no discomfort. The suit was holding. “You are at 0% O2 Jehz.”
“Still feels like I am breathing fine. Normal, even. If I didn’t know better, I would swear there is still full oxygen in here.”
“Give it a few minutes, it might just be residual air inside the suit.”
Jehz paced around the airlock, waiting for whatever air supply there might be in the suit to run out and wondering what was going to happen to him when it did, how the suit would behave. After an hour of walking in an endless nervous circle bantering with Naviz, he started to wonder if it was going to run out at all.
“Think there is any chance this thing is actually making its own oxygen, Naviz? There’s no way there would still be anything left if it was just letting the air around me come through and containing it, right?
“That’s the question everyone wants to know the answer to, Jehz, not that it really helps solves the puzzle of this damn thing even if we find out. But it would help us understand if the suit is more than a shield and a power source. That it is truly capable of creating something. Can I see the crystals, Jehz?”
Jehz turned his hands over and held them in front of Naviz. The crystals didn’t look any different than usual, they never did during any of the tests. Bright clear white and cut with an unusual geometric design, they could have been anything from glass to diamonds. As with everything else related to the suit, none of the scientists had been able to figure out anything about the crystals. The current working assumption was they were the power source somehow, but that was just an educated guess.
“Ok, this is getting boring, Jehz, what do you say we equalize the pressure now and see how long it takes your head to blow up like a balloon. I know it probably won’t happen but I never get tired of that thought, it’s a great image, isn’t it? And your head is so freakishly big to start with, that would be really, really funny.”
Naviz studied Jehz, trying to gauge how he was reacting as they moved toward the first test dangerous enough to end in his death. He doubted if Jehz would even admit to being scared given his history with the suit and family pedigree, but there were so many unknowns, so many ways things could go wrong, Jehz had to be frightened. Any one even remotely normal would be but there were no external signs in Jehz’s body language.
They had been proceeding cautiously for months, slowly increasing the danger of the tests and so far there had not even been a hint of failure. Everyone, including Jehz, knew that eventually this type of test was coming even if it had not been explicitly discussed until recently. Surprisingly, now that the moment was here, Jehz felt a sense of calm wash over him. He wasn’t sure if it was the Rija meditation but it felt like something else he could not quite describe. Somehow he was sure that nothing would happen and that the suit was much, much stronger than any of them could guess or even imagine. The feeling surprised him but somehow seemed incredibly real.
“Don’t worry, Naviz, I’m sure this is going to be fine. I can feel it. Go ahead, equalize the pressure and open the space door. I’m tethered in.”
“Not sure where that little boost of self-confidence came from, but I’m going to have to let you open the space door. I don’t want to be the one to explain to the General that I was the idiot that pressed the button a little too early and shot his little boy genius into outer space. Might be bad for the career prospects. Weren’t you the guy that kept saying you didn’t have any confidence that this suit could protect you? What happened to him? I kind of miss him – he seemed so…normal.”
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“I’m not sure. Maybe I’m just finally being realistic about the fact that this suit has taken everything we’ve thrown at it without even a ripple. It’s given us no reason to doubt it, maybe we were just doubting ourselves. Let’s try it a different way, it will probably save us a whole lot of time.” Jehz unlocked his tether and opened the airlock door. That was not the plan, and Naviz started yelling into his comm to have the space walkers close in and make sure Jehz didn’t float off the ship. The two closest to the door quickly stepped into the airlock and Naviz turned his attention to Jehz.
“I appreciate the enthusiasm, Jehz, but you know this is off plan and more than a little dangerous. You were supposed to stay tethered at least an hour before a decision on a spacewalk was made – together after consultation with our superior officers. Can you let these guys bring you back? I’d really appreciate it.”
Jehz floated idly away from the inner door where Naviz stood, moving slowly toward the exit and the soldiers standing on either side. He thought back on when he had first figured out that the suit had powers, that day on the test range when the rogue officer had attacked him. He hadn’t really thought much that day, he had just reacted to the danger. Maybe he just needed to try that again, clear his mind and let his instinct take over. He turned and simply thought about being in open space, floating among the stars. He reached out with his arms toward the door and in an instant had disappeared.
“Oh, shit, you have to be kidding me,” said Naviz. “This has to be some kind of prank, right, guys? Please tell me you are in on it?” The soldiers in the doorway simply shook their heads.
“Sorry, sir, we are as surprised as you are. Do you think he could still be here? Can the suit make him invisible or something?”
“Not that I know of but start a full scan just in case. He was moving fast but I got a distinct glimpse of him flying away from the ship. This is not good.” Naviz thought for a second and then yelled into his comm unit “Jehz, are you out there? C’mon buddy, talk to me.”
Jehz hurtled through space in a kind of daze but eventually became aware of the whine made by the voice coming out of the comm unit. It was Naviz. Jehz tried to roust himself, shaking his head and tried to focus on Naviz’s voice. He slowly became aware that he was moving rapidly and remembered his thoughts back in the air lock as he was floating toward the door. He had simply been thinking about moving in the airlock and now here he was, somehow flying through space at a rate nearing the speed of a military spacecraft if the moon he was moving past was any point of reference. He wasn’t even trying to move forward, yet somehow he was. It was similar to the way he had been thinking about somehow stopping the missiles fired at him during the war games attack. In both cases, he had simply been thinking about something and reaching out with hands and it had happened. What would he do to stop then? He gathered his arms towards his body and tried to imagine himself floating, not moving at all, quiet and peaceful. Instantly his movement stopped and he was still, hovering in space, though it was a part of space he had never seen before. There was no sign of his home world and a quick reckoning with the major stars suggested he had travelled so far it was impossible to believe. How could this be? How long had he been flying? He looked at his watch and though he couldn’t remember the exact time the test had started, it seemed no more than thirty minutes could have passed.
“Naviz, are you out there? Can you hear me? Naviz!” He hadn’t expected an immediate response but hoped somehow he was within range of the base ship’s transmitter, though he quickly felt silly for worrying and betraying the panic in his voice. I’m a highly trained Given officer, he thought, the personification of planning and preparation, renowned throughout the universe for uncommonly high levels of creativity and resourcefulness. If I got myself out here, I can surely get back, assuming of course I can figure out what direction back is. I may be lost but the suit seems to be holding and I feel fine. I can do this, of course I can goddamn do this! Scanning the horizon, he quickly found what he thought must be his home star Raz. Even travelling at the speed of light, which he highly doubted he had, he would not have left his solar system and this was clearly the largest and brightest star around. Looking in the near space around Raz, Jehz could still not identify Noma or the direction he should head. Feeling he had to take some kind of action, he decided he would simply fly toward Raz, figuring that would put him closer to Noma than he was now and maybe within reach of his comm unit. He just hoped he would be able to control the suit and his brain better than he had on the trip out.
He repeated the process of visualizing himself moving through space but this time with no result. He tried again and again but he could not seem to move no matter how hard he thought about it, concentrated on it. What was happening? Panicking, it finally dawned on him that some kind of physical gesture with his hands seemed to be required to get the suit to act. When he reached out as he had originally in the airlock in addition to his visualization, he began to accelerate rapidly toward Raz. This time, however, he didn’t fall into a daze and he found he could easily change direction and speed by refocusing his mind and adding some kind of gesture that slightly mimicked the action he wanted taken. All those hours spent on Rija meditation exercises had finally paid off. Closing his hand in a fist while thinking about slowing down or stopping accomplished the desired task almost immediately. His confidence grew, and he felt more excited and freer than he had felt in a long time. Suddenly, he heard a voice coming over his comm unit.
“Jehz! We read you. Where are you by Voz? Are you OK?”
“Good to hear your voice, Naviz. I’m fine, looks like this suit can fly by the way. Really, really fast actually, so fast I’m not even sure where I am. I’m trying to master the suit and work my way back now. Making some progress, but this could take a while.”
“I’m thinking you should really stay put, Jehz. This is way too much new stuff at once, too many new variables with the suit. We need to keep you safe, so why don’t you just turn off the jets and float around out there for a while, until our rescue ships can find you. Hopefully you’ll still be breathing when they do so do us a favor and don’t talk too much and use up all your oxygen, OK?”
“You have to be kidding, Naviz. I feel fine, breathing and heart rate normal as always. You can send some ships out, but there is no way I am waiting for you. If we don’t push this a little, I’m going to still be sitting in a lab letting some creepy Illuta pick away at me when I’m 100 years old. I need to figure out how to fly this suit sometime, it might as well be now.”
Naviz started to argue with him to play it safe but quickly stopped. Naviz knew he would be hearing about this from both his commanding officer and the General and that it may even cost him this assignment, but he could not help feeling proud of Jehz and his decision to take control. He hadn’t allowed himself to say anything before, thinking it would not be welcome or professional but he felt strongly that Jehz had been sitting back passively for far too long, letting himself be turned into a lab rat and losing himself in the process. Whatever happened on the Rising Sun wasn’t his fault and neither was the push and pull shit show between the Rija and Musa that followed. No one Naviz had talked to had been able to give him the straight facts on any of the events that occurred on the planet surface that day though he had tried numerous times since starting this assignment. There was nothing but bits and pieces, rumors and typical war story exaggeration as far as he could tell. Woven through many of these versions were the themes about the danger Jehz posed to the Given and the possibility that he was now some kind of immortal alien.
None of those stories made any sense at all to him. He had known Jehz casually for years since they were officers around the same age and now working with him daily, he found it hard to believe Jehz could be any kind of threat. If the threat rumors were true, why was Jehz caught in the middle of such an intense tug of war between the kilns. He had been unable to find much that seemed truthful or consistent and it was incredibly frustrating. He could only imagine what Jehz felt after all he had gone through. Were the Musa and Rija leaders telling even him anything resembling the truth? Naviz doubted it. But through it all Jehz was still doing whatever was asked of him, including completely giving up his former life. Without complaint as far as he could tell. His only reward for that sacrifice was to be yanked around like a chew toy being fought over by two pet jimji. If he was dangerous, and the council could somehow see something he couldn’t see or knew something no one else knew, then they should do what needs to be done to remove the problem. Otherwise, let needed to him go. No one should have to live their lives in a cruel limbo like this, even the prisoners of Syber had more freedom than Jehz. Part of him hoped Jehz would just keep flying, get as far away from Noma as he possibly could. Jehz deserved a taste of fresh air, maybe a lot more than a taste, maybe even a completely fresh start. The Given philosophy as he had understood it had always been to lead but from a distance. All protected peoples were allowed room to make the their own decisions even while the outer boundaries might be extremely rigid and inflexible. Within the Musa kiln itself, the most structured of the Given subsocieties, the philosophy had been employed with extreme success. Musa soldiers of all ranks were given levels of autonomy unheard of in most military organizations and many felt their unparalleled success grew directly from this approach. How then could they possibly justify tightening the bands around Jehz so tightly he could barely move, let alone think for himself. It was cruel punishment for a Musa, a deep affront to all they stood for.
“Alright, Jehz. Be safe and keep an eye out for our rescue ships. It would be just like you to fly right into one.”
Jehz signed off and slowly worked his way back toward Noma, gaining more control over the suit’s flying characteristics as he went. On one run, his mind drifted to thoughts of a faraway planet he had visited with his parents as a boy. A magical paradise, bursting with beauty, he never had as much fun swimming and exploring as he did on that month-long stay. He had been at that perfect age, still young enough to easily inhabit fantasies of his own creation but old enough to independently seek and appreciate physical adventures in the real world as well. Especially the ones involving the local girl with the endless tangled flow of silky white hair he had struck up a budding romance with a few days after arriving.
Voz, he had missed her in the weeks after they left, the sweet agony of first love, and how he begged and begged his parents to take him back though it never worked out with his father’s schedule. What if he thought hard about being there again and reached for it, how fast could he really go? Could he be sipping a glass of wine with her under a tehr tree before sundown? Part of him really wanted to try, but he knew the answer would have to wait for another day. For now, he had work to do on Noma, though somehow the idea that he could now literally take off at any time lifted a huge burden from his mind, making him feel free and the universe open and full of potential for the first time in years. I’ll do my part, thought Jehz, for my father and mother, for my kiln and my people, but I won’t be a plaything any longer. Jehz then took off on his final journey back to Noma, wondering about what kind of practical joke he could play on Naviz using his new flight power that would finally pay him back for the ones he had pulled on Jehz over the last few years.