Hana comes back grinning. She lifts me up by the armpits and lowers me on her lap, she hugs me tight and her body sways from side-to-side.

"I met an old friend, she's working as an escort for a transport company so I got her to introduce me to their boss," she says, her voice is gushing with happiness, "I got a good deal for us, a gold every other day. We will be the main hunters on the caravan, our job is to keep any monsters away, since we have really good scouting it should be easy for us."

"Sounds wonderful, thank you, my love," I say and pat a scaly cheek. "It's good that you met a friend, on the trip you will have a lot to talk about."

"Yes!" She crushes my ribs.

Aoi jumps out of Roxanne's window and glides until she lands on Hana's head.

"When are we departing?" Alissa asks.

"The fifth," Hana answers.

"How long are we going to stay on this trip?" I ask.

"Depends on how many foot travelers come too, he said he would limit the number but you know how these merchants are," Hana says and exhales a tired breath, "At the most we should reach Goldport before the Turn of the Year. If we come later than that then his trip is redundant, he's spreading supplies for the celebrations."

"Who's the boss?"

"A fallen noble silver elf, he belonged to the western Crown Lord branch family but his father turned cuckoo and lost a ton of money so now he took over the business with his mother. He's quite serious and hard-working, but stay away from his mother, she's off-limits."

"What do you mean by that?" I ask and chuckle.

"She's a tanned silver elf, she's just like Ciel so I know exactly what's going to happen," she says, I see Alissa shiver and smile. "I know how weak you are to our tanned skin. Roxanne and Ciel don't want you being seduced by no experienced woman, no sir. So I'll be there to keep you - satisfied." -.

"Aren't you my Blood Slave, what are you obeying them for?" I ask and close my eyes, inhaling her sweet strawberry perfume on the strands of hair that drifted close to my face.

"I'm only doing what I think is best so you retain your body integrity, master..." Hana says with a whisper in my ears.

"So the girls are getting haughty? Maybe I have to teach them who's in charge again," I say in a low growl.

"I would love to see that," Hana says and licks her lips.

I'm merely joking, no way I'm going to impose myself like this on the girls.

-

"You ruined me, Wolfy," Ciel says in a tired tone as she comes back.

"I agree but I'm not sure what you are referring to," I answer and continue dicing the remmidy.

"I can't talk to Bitar anymore, it's too awkward. I can't even hug him because it makes me feel sick," she says and slumps on the chair.

"You shouldn't hug him anyway, he's feeling up your breasts," I say and give a welcoming kiss to Lina.

"He-he's not!" Ciel protests.

"Gih," Gify says and chews on another small chunk of remmidy. I smack his head and frown. If I take my eyes away he'll eat all the ingredients.

Ciel puckers her lips in anger and glares at Gify.

I stop and smirk at Ciel until her dark skin acquires a strong red shade.

"Fine! I will knowingly hug him now. He's my friend and I should make my friends happy, right?" She glares back, defiantly.

"Maybe I should visit Carmen again, it's been a while since we last met," I say casually.

"I'm sure Nononya would like a private meeting with you, I feel she admires you greatly," Alissa says.

"That adventurer Iana seemed to quite like Wolfy," Hana comments casually.

"Vanea's offer is still valid?" Lina asks casually, and Roxanne bursts into snickers, she barely contains them with her hand.

Ciel pales and her mouth hangs open, then she lowers her head and frowns.

"Sorry, I went too far," I say and sit beside her. I grab her hand and kiss it, "But you started it."

"Sometimes you are quite mean. You all are quite mean," Ciel says and sends a glare to Lina.

"S-sorry," Lina says and lowers her head.

"I just want my friend back…" Ciel mutters.

"Aren't you the one who worships the Goddess of Love?" Roxanne asks, "What does she teach us about your situation?"

When it's you that's on the chaise lounge it gets difficult to analyze yourself objectively.

"'Loose ends will make a dress get undone'," Ciel says. She breathes in and her voice turns sad as she says, "Sorry, I shouldn't have suggested infidelity to you, Wolfy, that was disrespectful."

"I didn't take it seriously, and you were just retaliating at my teasing," I say and squeeze her hand. "I love you."

"I love you too." She smiles weakly at me.

I give her a deep kiss and we continue preparing lunch.

Like other classes, Electric class is just reviewing since the next lesson will be the final test. Lyle will show his [Discharge] and the power of the battery he can create with [Charge].

For this class, I decide to test a concept back from Earth that I heard once, electrical muscle stimulation. With [Shocking Touch] I can control exactly which muscles are shocked, forcing them to contract and expand at will. From what I understood there's no CPR on [First-Aid], it's a skill with a rather low ceiling. This means that they have not realized you can force a stopped heart to move or use the shock to stop a desynchronized heart.

I don't have the facilities to test this on a real heart so I will just show how to control muscles with this spell and suggest a line of research. From what Ciel knows, when the heart stops pumping blood correctly they focus [Heal] on the brain to keep the lack of oxygen from killing the person while they also try to find the cause for the heart problems. This is because [Heal] does not work very well in making the heart work again since it's physically "fine" but it's the signals that make it contract and expand that are the problem.

I come back home to Roxanne sneezing repeatedly while Ciel chants [Purify Body]. Roxanne's eyes are red, her face is swollen, her nose is dripping constantly, and she's scratching her face repeatedly.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"She succeeded in making some strong poison," Hana says with a wry smile.

Roxanne starts to speak, her voice distorted due to a clogged nose, "I, acho! Got inspired when you, acho! When you, acho! When y, ach-!" Roxanne bites her tongue and holds in the sneeze, "When you told the story that I used a poison concoction to cause an allergic, acho! Reaction on the ancient Azurite dragon."

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

"You really shouldn't test poisons on yourself, when we are on the road we will get goblins for you to test," I say and knit my eyebrows in worry. "None of you should be hurting yourselves like this, this is going too far."

"Oh, you worry too muucho!" Roxanne sneezes on her handkerchief and groans in pain.

"[Purify Body]."

The swelling on Roxanne's face reduces and her nose unclogs, but she's still suffering.

"Well, I'm going to have to do this a few more times," Ciel says and starts chanting again.

After Roxanne is healed, I decide to [Massage] her face and relieve some of the stress. Even though what she did was stupid she still succeeded in making a strong poison. Rox's Sneeze-'n-Wheeze it has been named.

I put on my hands some of the elven scented oil. Then I [Massage] Roxanne's face, then her scalp, then her horns, then her neck, then her back, then her lower back, -, then her thighs, then her calves. -.

At night I play nice with Ciel -, helping her calm down and keep her concentration.

The [Holy Spirit] slowly forms in front of us, it's cute feet tap on the table repeatedly as it floats down. Then it's metal mask turns around to stare at all of us once his summoning is complete.

"Yes!" Ciel suddenly jumps out of the bed and the spirit falls over backward like a puppet with its strings cut.

"Okay, control, I have no idea how to do that," she says and grabs the little spirit, having it nuzzle on her bosom.

Ciel drops back on the sofa in my arms. Through a clay golem's eyes, I can see how we look like a couple looking at their newborn with warm eyes, though a rather mismatched couple since she's 21 and bigger than me while I'm 19 with a babyface.

Now that she finished her spell I slowly increase the intensity of my [Massage] -.

Today is the 24th.

-

I try to implant fake memories on Kyros but the low level of my [Godly Language] gives him only faint feelings of déjà vus instead of actually changing his mental state.

"You remember something funny," I order and Kyros unconsciously smiles for a few seconds then returns to his stoic expression.

"Some people are more affected by certain memories than others, if you attack these memories then it's easier to implant things on someone's mind," he says.

I certainly have a few of those.

[Blessing Magic] class is reviewing. I focus on my [Reinforce] spell, on this one I don't have to hold back. The spell is kind of a "force field" that prevents atoms from being split apart by other atoms. It really is that specific, it doesn't stop things from burning or melting, it seems to exclusively stop cutting, bending, or scraping.

Good for physical combat but extra vulnerable to magical. The "force field" reduces in power the more attacks it receives and magical attacks are extra powerful against it.

Today I have my physical training so I have to appease Hana and Lina during bath.

-

"Wolfy, can we talk?" Ciel asks casually but I feel my heart sink to my stomach.

"Y-yes, what is it?" I ask nervously and sit on the sofa.

She hugs me and pulls me down on the sofa, her softness brings me calmness.

"When we leave, you think you are ready for the world out there?" She asks softly.

Oh good, it's just an impromptu therapy session.

"Hm… Yes, I think so," I answer.

"Would you kill again to protect us?"

"Didn't I already do this?"

"After some long mental preparation, I want to know if you can answer with the intent to kill when the time comes," she squishes - me harder.

"Even if I say yes, can we really know if it's going to be the truth?"

"I can feel how motivated you are."

"So this hug is not just part of your usual hugging instinct taking over?"

"You could say that," she chuckles.

"Even if Wolfy doesn't answer, we will," Hana says with ferocity.

"If you really trust us you will understand our reasoning, even if we have to knock him out we will stay together," Alissa says with confidence and Lina nods.

"How relaxing knowing my slaves will harm me so easily," I say with a wry smile.

"You never used the Blood Slave connection against any of us. If you suddenly start, then something is wrong," Alissa says with a shrug.

"You always say that you don't like to treat us as slaves," Lina says.

"It's fine, I trust you all," I say, "and yes, I will do what I have to to keep us safe. No freezing, no inaction, no sentimentalism, you are all that matters." I squeeze Ciel's arm.

"Rabanara is quite calm in comparison to some towns, even with all the monster attacks," Roxanne says.

"We still haven't met a truly rotten noble," Hana says.

"And there's still Katasko, certainly someone rotten or dangerous is behind them," Roxanne continues.

"Once we reach the High Forest there's a high chance of bandit attacks. What would you do then?" Ciel asks.

"I will kill the dangerous ones and this time we will leave some time for them to surrender," I say with confidence, "I don't care if we have to show our powers, we will simply deal with it when it happens."

"That easy?" Ciel asks, skeptical.

"It's like I said, it's easy to say but I truly think that I am ready for this trip."

"You said you never killed before coming here, how was it on Earth? How did you deal with killing other people?"

"The sanctity of life was said to be inviolable. Killing might be one of the biggest sins one could commit."

"Even criminals?"

"Even criminals. A lot of people had to vow to not kill but some people even took it a step further, becoming true pacifists."

"That sounds incredibly naive," Hana says.

"It seems Wolfy is far from being on the stupid side of his world," Roxanne says.

"It's not that bad to be against killing as a principle," Ciel says.

"Yes, it is. When it endangers others you are just being incompetent, your life is not your own when it impacts others," Hana says with a frown and crosses her arms.

"Big words coming out of your mouth," Roxanne says lowly.

"My 'Wisdom' has been increasing quite nicely, thank you," Hana says and pinches Roxanne's cheek.

"I agree with Hana, your world is incredibly naive. How many unworthy people are left alive to cause more pain due to this naive mercy?" Alissa asks.

"It's a mere difference in philosophy. When your life is mostly your own, people develop differently," I say. "Individualism, idealism, pragmatism, all these things are in conflict with one another. My world has a lot of variety between any two people. This world is mostly pragmatism and I'm well into your side.

"I've exorcised most of my demons, I'm fine with killing. My fear is being caught unaware, but even that I feel like I have been getting it under control."

"Gih," I look at him on Alissa's lap and see his face distorted into a proud smile.

The shrieks of the space mage I killed sound further and further away. With the newest point in "Sanity" I feel more anger at my stupidity than fear of the ambush repeating. I feel more "in control" of my fear.

"What does the demon race got anything to do with exorcism?" Roxanne asks with a frown. "Ah, a reference?"

"A reference."

"What does your Earth got against demons?"

"The demon race was based on nightmares and myths were they not?" Lina asks, "It's not that he's talking about the demon race specifically, he's talking about the myths that you were based on."

"Ooh…"

"So, did we really fix Wolfy?" Alissa asks Ciel.

"I wouldn't say 'fix' but…" Ciel curls my hair on her fingers.

"Yeah, you all 'fixed' me, at the least you kept me sane while I adjusted," I say.

"Just remember to not stop the fear, you shouldn't grow numb," Ciel says.

"I remember: 'self-control' to keep the fear at bay as my guide, not my master."

Embrace the fear, embrace the pain, embrace the danger.

"What, is, fear?" Suzy asks.

Heh. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

"The desire to maintain body integrity," I say.

"Or the desire to keep away from damage," Lina says.

"Then, we, feel, fear," Ted says.

"I wouldn't say it is like this. To feel you have to let emotions take control of your actions, even if it's beneficial or not," I say.

"Then, do, not, let, us, feel. Fee-lings, dis-rupt, per-for-mance," Ted says and Suzy nods.

Ciel frowns and Lina shrugs dejectedly, they are certainly trying to humanize the golems.

"Kweh? I, feel, no, fear, am, I, wrong?" Aoi asks.

"You are fine," Hana says and pats Aoi, "All monsters seem to feel less fear."

"Possibly something the God of Destruction did to make monsters more willing to kill humanoids," I say.

"Muuh…" Aoi's nostrils glow, "I, won't, kill, friends."

"But only friends," I say with a smile and Aoi nods with resolution.

"How about the men we killed during the necromancer battle?" Ciel asks.

"Oh…" I didn't think much about them. "I really feel bad, they were charmed by the Illusion mage and died like cattle."

"Not all deaths have meaning," she says and strokes my hair -.

That kind of got me, I didn't pay much mind to these men after the battle. It seems my coping mechanism is to ignore and forget.

"I still feel sad about them," I say.

"Yeah…" Lina mutters. I turn around and see Alissa patting her head.

"People die stupid deaths all the time…" Roxanne says, her tone turning cold and her eyes lifeless. "I barely feel anything anymore."

Hana pulls her into a hug and says, "You should still feel."

"But I don't want to."

I wish I could stop feeling the pain of losing Lily every time we talk about my past.

"Gih."

But I shouldn't, not until the pain goes away on its own, not until the wound heals properly.

"Gih."

-

Today is the 25th.

I wake up refreshed, these therapy sessions are rather intense but they made me feel better afterward, little by little. The storm recedes slowly, as Alissa said once.

-

Lina's [Stonebody] is now 4. And here I though I had finally grown stronger than the little girl, I'm itching to overpower her and abuse her.

I spend some time thinking about my soul changing magic, I should call it [Soul Hardening]. I know I managed to change my soul somehow with my [Redirect Mana], so I could couple that with [Spirit Magic] [Materialization] and discover how to form the material that I want out of my soul.

But first I have to be able to move my soul at will. Currently, I have to meditate and concentrate a lot, the [Soul Hardening] should work without any input from me. I guess I have to create something like [Soul Manipulation] too.

Another looong and repetitive training ahead. I see no way to cheat on this one, I have to find a way to move freely my soul before I can think about casting [Materialization] on it.

Soon I'm going to have to spend years meditating non-stop refining my soul or some bullshit like that and somehow end up developing bullshit superpowers.

No point delaying it any longer. I sit down on the sofa while the pitter-patter of a light drizzle hits the windows.