Well, here I am. After a surprisingly uneventful, not counting the roadside adoption, four weeks of travel, I have finally arrived at my destination: Boglong Swamp. It’s unbearably humid, even in winter, it’s an absolute chore to traverse, and I’m currently sinking into frozen mud. This place really would make someone hate it the moment they arrived.
Perfect.
Although it is actually a little better than I was expecting. Apparently a town was built, so a bunch of people are living here. It’s not a bad town too, they’ve got all the bells and whistles that society needs. A local government, a store, and something that looks like a medical facility. However the most notable thing on there for me is that they have a school for public education. I don’t think I need to explain why having a school in my local vicinity is a good thing. I consider myself a smart man but I am nowhere near smart enough to teach Jenna about how the world works.
Yes, her name is Jenna. No, it’s never been anything else so stop asking.
While the town has some useful things in it. I intend to live a little bit away from the town. Not many people don’t know what I look like so I want to keep my distance. That being said, I did pick a spot close enough to the town so that it won’t be a hassle for Jenna to get to school. I want to live in seclusion but I also don’t want to make Jenna trek uphill for ten miles… both ways… in the snow… at 5 in the morning.
I really wish I wasn’t the only person in the world who understands my jokes. Well some people who do will come in a little while but I don’t want to meet them.
Anyway I should really start making a shelter so that Jenna and I have a place to sleep tonight. I found a good spot but I’m not sure what I want to build. A nice suburban house? A cabin? Perhaps a castle? No I don’t know how to build a castle. Actually, I don’t know how to build a house period.
Oh god I just found a major flaw in my plan. I need a house to live in, but I can’t build one and I don’t have the money to have one built. Now, before you say: “Don’t you have a house building skill or something? I thought you were overpowered.” Yeah, I am overpowered, and it’d be really cool if there was something like a house building skill, but there isn’t. Skills only cover things like single attacks, not entire artforms. For example: There is a skill called [Upward Slash] that will produce a slash that goes upward if you’re holding a sword. However there is not a skill called [Swordsmanship] that magically makes you better at fighting with a sword. For things like that you need actual practice.
For that reason, I’m actually only good at two fighting styles. One of them is the Saracondrian Sword Style, which is the standard fighting style for most of the government officials around here and also it was the easiest one to learn. The other is actually just normal boxing from Earth. I took boxing in highschool and college so I enjoy it a lot. I know I could’ve learned more and increased my arsenal against the players, but I was too lazy. Also let’s be honest, if I spent 10 years learning like a hundred fighting styles I’d still probably only use one or two of them in the final battle anyway. If you’ve ever been in a fight you know they normally end pretty quickly, you don’t get to take turns throwing out everything you have in your arsenal.
Back to the problem at hand, I need to build a house. I don’t have the funds to buy materials or have someone build it for me. I also don’t really have the skills to do the job. Fuck. Ok, let’s lower the bar a little bit. How about I make a shelter instead of a house. Then when that’s done, I’ll work on building an actual house. Preferably before Jenna becomes smart enough to understand we’re living in a decrepit hut.
Welp, let’s get started.
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Later that night.
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“Well I think I’ll say that went better than expected.” I voice my thoughts to the world as I look at my masterpiece.
Ok, I say masterpiece but it’s honestly just two poles sticking out of the ground that connect a canopy made out of sticks and leaves to the side of a hill. It’s not great, or good. But it’s a roof over our heads and it only has to be this bad for tonight. I’ll improve it in the morning.
That being said, there aren’t any walls except for the side with the hill. Meaning there isn’t anything to keep out the cold. Winter will last another three weeks or so, Jenna will freeze if there isn’t any heat and I’m wondering if she’s going to develop some trauma about the cold. Luckily, on my several weeks of travel I actually found a good work around for this.
I carefully put Jenna down, making sure the ground she’s on isn’t wet so it won’t ruin her rag. Then I activate the skill [Melting Body]. My body quickly heats up to the point where any foliage that is unfortunate enough to be touching me would catch on fire, even if it was covered in snow. Once that skill is properly activated I activate another skill called [Chilling Touch] then my body cools down to a nice, toasty warm.
To explain what I just did a little better, the skill [Melting Body] is a skill that heats up your body so that anyone touching you takes fire damage. On the other side, the skill [Chilling Touch] cools your body down so that anyone touching you will take cold damage. By activating the skills together, they cancel each other out. [Melting Body] is also further ahead on the skill evolution line than [Chilling Touch] so it makes my body temperature just warm enough to keep Jenna warm. Also I want to clarify that I have tried just using the weakest version of [Melting Body], but it ended up being too hot. These skills are the only ones that offer the “golden mean” we want.
With the preparations complete I pick up Jenna and sit down to sleep.
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A week and a half later.
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Ok, after continuously fucking up for a little over a week, I finally have a shack. Hold on, you don’t look excited enough. It’s a SHACK! IT’S GOT FOUR WALLS! A ROOF! AND A DOOR! I’ve got the basics down, now I just need to practice more and I’ll be living in a fucking mansion. I am amazing at this.
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Two days later
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…
…
...The fucking shack collapsed…
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Two weeks later.
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After the untimely demise of the Thornwood Manor two weeks ago, I was able to rebuild my shack. It’s studier this time, so it shouldn't collapse. I’ve gotten better at this construction thing as well. I think I’ll start trying to add extra rooms. Actually, I need some real furniture. I’ll be damned if I’m making Jenna sleep on the ground longer than I absolutely have too.
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Two months later.
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Well now my good gents, The house is now at a point that I’m satisfied with. I also want to burn it to the ground. I won’t, that would defeat the purpose, but I don’t think I can describe the frustration I felt while building this shithole. All I knew about construction before this is that there was this thing called a “two by four” and that was somehow important. Now I had to deal with making sure the walls don’t collapse, making sure the roof actually fits, and there was one time where I accidentally made a wall too short so I had to start over because I didn’t want to awkwardly attach a bunch of spare wood. That being said, I’m finally done so I’ll give you a grand tour. Come on myself, which is who I’m currently to, let’s see my humble abode.
Starting off we have the front lawn. We have mud instead of grass because its a swamp. Cutting through it and connecting to the door is a nice stone pathway I made out of rocks I destroyed. On the right side of the lawn there’s and awesome looking tree that I assume Jenna will have fun climbing. For the actual front of the house there isn’t really much to say. It’s a basic rectangle with a pyramid roof. There’s a door and a window next to it. Not exactly modern art.
Heading in we have the living room. It’s the biggest room in the house and it’s got a table, some chairs, and a fireplace. I made the fireplace out of baked mud. I saw someone do it online once in my previous life and I think I copied it pretty well. Also I don’t have a chimney, I just cut a hole in the wall to let the smoke out. On the opposite side of the fireplace we have the kitchen. It’s really just a table and a pot I use for cooking but I do have an ice box. But that’s just a wood box I lined with baked mud and I throw the [Ice Shard] skill in there to keep meat cold. The ice is actual ice so it won’t disappear or anything because it’s a skill.
Now for the rest of the house, connecting from the living room there are three doors. One goes to my room. I have a bed, a table, and a chair. The door on the left of my room is Jenna’s room. I really only have her bed in it because I don’t know what she would want. I’ll just ask her when she’s able to talk. And the final door is the most important door of the bunch. It’s the Bathroom. Very important, can’t live without it.
I wish I wasn’t the only one here who knew how to use it.
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Four Months Later.
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“I think it’s been long enough, I should be able to go into town.” I say aloud as I walk towards the town.
I know I said I’d be spending my time away from the village and let Jenna deal with all the social interaction but I have recently run into a very serious problem. I need food. Ok, I technically have food, but that’s only the wild swamp boars and random foliage that doesn’t taste poisonous. I have had wild boar for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the last FOUR MONTHS! I need to eat something else. I don’t care what it is, the village should have some imports or something. With a hopeful attitude about me, I head into the village.
I think the first thing I need to do is look for a bakery. I want some bread. Actually, since it’s a bakery, they probably have rolls and cakes there too. But those seem pretty expensive. Actually, how much money do I have?
As I look in my bag I quickly learn that checking my current financial standing is a bit of a mood dampener. The only thing in my wallet is 10 gold. I doubt I could buy some bread with that. Hell, I doubt I could buy anything short of a shit stained napkin with this. The taxes that got imposed a couple months ago are total bullshit and 10 gold wouldn’t exactly go too far to begin with.
Realizing my problem, I look around for some way I can make money. And by that I mean people to rob. I don’t have anything I can sell and there’s no way I’m doing a hard days work only to be skimped. After looking for some people who look like they have a good amount of disposable income, I find my mark.
The target is a tall, long red haired, assumably woman. She’s not facing me and she’s a little far away so I can’t get too good of a look at her, but she’s covered from head to toe in really fancy armor. Anyone wearing that, is totally loaded. Sneaking up closer to her I hear that she’s actually talking to herself. Hello pot, you’re a weirdo.
“... and that Hype bastard has to be somewhere…” she mumbled.
Hype bastard? Hold on that’s me! She’s looking for me?! Her mumbles tell me she knows I faked my death! Oh god if she finds out I’m here I might as well pave my driveway for the players to come kick my ass!
Time to go home. Nothing else to do today. Bread? Don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t have any money and I’m a model, upstanding citizen.
Making sure I’m not seen, I head home.
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Three months later.
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“Alright Jenna, we have a wide selection for dinner tonight. Do you want boar mush, or squirrel mush? They both have a different taste to them, and if you want my opinion, I’d rather drag a running blender across my neck than have boar anymore than I already have.” I hold the two bottles in front of Jenna to emphasize the choice.
Jenna stares at the bottles intensely for a while. I can tell she’s having trouble deciding. Her eyes are darting between the two, probably in an attempt to figure out which taste she hates less. I really can’t imagine she likes these that much anymore. I mean, all she’s had since we moved here is either boar or squirrel. I wish I could provide better, but my more successful trips into town have shown that all we seem to have in this part of the country is boar and squirrel.
“Buh, buuuuh!” Jenna starts making noise as she points to the boar bottle.
“Really? Well if you want it.” I put the squirrel aside and begin feeding Jenna.
“I mean, don’t you get sick of it? I know I do.” My question falls on deaf ears as Jenna greedily chugs the bottle.
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Three months later.
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“Come on you can do it! I believe in you!” I provide words of encouragement to Jenna from across the room.
Jenna is currently stabilizing herself on a chair and she is looking very determined. We’ve been working on this for over a week. Time, effort, and sheer will have been put into this endeavor. She’s about a year old at this point, so she should be well in the margin to be able to walk.
With fire in her eyes, Jenna lets go of the chair and places one of her feet in front of her. Then she moved her back foot forward. Repeating this set of steps, she made her way over to me. She started slowly, but begins to move faster.
She’s fuckin’ doin’ it!
As she zooms past the three-fourths mark at max speed she trips and sends her giant head slamming into the floor.
Oh shit!
Is she ok? She’s not moving or making any noise.
“Hey… are you al-”
“aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
Ok, at least she’s alive.
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Four years later.
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When you live alone out in the woods with no company but an infant, you get a lot of free time. I still have stuff to do, mind you. I mean, I have to make sure Jenna doesn’t die of starvation or something. But I still have time to be lazy.
The problem is that I’m out in the woods. There’s nothing to do. I don’t have anything like a tv. Those things don’t exist in this world. And considering the setting for this world is high fantasy, I’m not sure that we’d ever become advanced enough to ever even have tvs.
Shame, I kinda wanted to see that Earth show, or at least the world wars. I’m told those are the good bits.
I thought about going into town but it’s currently around 10:00 pm. Even if there was anything fun to do in that town none of it would be open. So I’m just kinda sitting in the living room. I don’t want to go to bed yet, but I’m getting really bored.
*CRASH*
Oh look, something to do.
As I get up from my chair, I think about the specifics of how I’m going to reprimand this little gremlin. As I walk towards her room, I can hear her scurrying around. As I put my hand on the door handle, I can hear her throw herself onto her bed. As I open the door, I see the sight of a child, sound asleep.
“Jenna.”
She’s not moving, trying to keep up the act. Looking a little to the left, there’s a table with a ball on it. Next to that, is a chair barely standing on three legs. Hidden under the chair is it’s missing leg.
“Jenna, did you break the chair?”
She flinches.
Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
“Jenna, did you break the chair after I told you to go to bed twice?”
She didn’t flinch that time, but I can tell she’s nervous. I need to get her to drop the act. If I just say she’s grounded and then leave, she could make the excuse that she was asleep. She has to know that I know she’s grounded. It’s a good thing I have a plan.
“I know you’re awake. If you don’t drop the act, you’re grounded.”
She flinches again, but she’s not giving up. Time to pressure her.
“Jenna, if you don’t admit you’re awake by the count of five, you’re grounded for three months.”
I give that threat a second to sink in. Then I start counting.
“One. Tw-”
“ALRIGHT FINE!” She yells as her head rockets up from the pillow.
I’m actually kinda surprised. I thought she’d run the counter down to see if I was bluffing or something. Instead she caved at two. But that’s beside the point, she’s dropped the act. Time to parent.
“Oh look, you’re awake. Now we can discuss the chair you broke.” I look at Jenna with the disapproving parent glare. You know the one.
“I’m sorry…” Jenna swiftly apologizes, but she refuses to look at me. She’s clearly feeling guilt over it so it’s fine I guess.
“Alright then, I accept your apology. It’s only a chair anyways, but you’re going to be the one who fixes it. Now that that’s out of the way, why are you awake this late?” I didn’t do that too quickly right? Should I have lectured her more? Ah, whatever. It’ll only be a problem if she does it again.
“I couldn’t sleep.” Jenna says, her guilt now seemingly non-existent.
Insomnia huh, well she’s five years old. She’s got all that child energy in her. I’m pretty sure this is normal. I guess I should do the usual remedy for this kind of thing.
“Well if you can’t sleep, how about I tell you a story?”
“A story?” She asks.
“Yeah, I’ll tell you a story until you get tired. It’s a tried and true method.” I display confidence in the foolproof plan.
“Ok. Please tell me a story.”
Now that I have the go ahead, I think of a story. Well, I try to think of a story. After a good thirty seconds of thinking I realize that I am unable to come up with an idea for anything original. That’s fine though, I’ll just rip something off. It has to be something I know by heart though, so I don’t mess anything up.
Alright, what’s a story that I know by heart, and was really popular with kids back on Earth? Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhh…… Wait I got it!
“Ok Jenna this one is pretty long so get ready.” I tell her as she moves under the covers.
*Cough* I clear my throat. I need my singing voice for this.
“NAAAAANNNTSS INGONYYAAMAAA, BAGIBITHI BABA!”
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Later that night.
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“Jenna, I swear it all works out in the end. Please stop crying so I can finish the story.”
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Two years later.
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As I’ve previously stated, I have a lot of free time out here. Normally, I’d be able to fill my time with the responsibility of caring for Jenna. Unfortunately, Jenna has been going to school for the past week and a half. So now I have even less to do.
I walked her to school and back the first week but after that she said she could do it herself. Me being a parent I secretly followed her but it seems that she was fine walking to and from school on her own so I’m just letting her. Thus I’m currently waiting for her to come back.
Doing that means I’m just sitting at the table letting my mind wander. I’ve been doing it for a little over seven years so I end up going to some weird places. Recently though, I’ve been thinking about Cordova from a gameplay perspective.
Is there a time difference between Earth and here? Like, in some games a full day-night cycle only takes 20 minutes of real time. So would we be moving faster than Earth? If so, how would that work? If I live a full day in the time it takes a player from Earth to live 20 minutes, shouldn’t I be zipping around at a thousand miles an hour from their perspective? Or is it going to be like one day here is one day there? If so, that could be really annoying to play.
Speaking of playing, what about the music? If the game simulates reality, I understand if there isn’t an overworld track that just plays all the time, but what about stuff like battle music? On that note, do I have a boss theme? Is it good? Would I be able to listen to it?
Talking about bosses, what ARE the other bosses of the game like? I assume the head of each country would be one, also the most powerful demons, but is there anything else? Maybe Suriah, the war god. I mean, I’d believe it if that shitty computer made a lesser god for the sole purpose of getting its face kicked in.
On the note of A.S.C., why am I the only person here who knows who he is? No one else here has even heard of the name. He’s this world’s actual god. Why isn’t he being worshiped? Is Suriah someone he made for the game or is she some other real god that he called in? I really don’t know.
As I’m deep in my thoughts, the door opens. Jenna walks in and as soon as I look at her I rocket up from my chair, incredibly worried. For some fucking reason, she has a black eye and bruises all over her body. She’s also crying.
“My god Jenna what happened to you?!” I scream as I run up and embrace her. She buries her head into my shoulder. I don’t press her too much. I let her cry and get it all out.
She ends up crying for a while. Once she calmed down, she explained that some of her schoolmates picked a fight with her and it didn’t go in her favor.
The long and short of the story is that she’s being bullied. Now, I really want to go and deprive these children of their teeth, but they’re only kids. If I go too far as a parent I could be chased out of town. So there’s really only one thing I can do.
“Alright Jenna, you won’t be going to school for a little while.”
“Ok … but why?” She asks through tear stained eyes.
“Because starting tomorrow, I’m gonna teach you some self defense.”
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The next day.
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It’s early morning as I stand in my front yard. The sun is just barely peeking over the horizon. I’m waiting for Jenna. I told her to come out when she’s ready, but if she didn’t come out soon I’d go in there and drag her out here. She needs to learn this stuff, the difference is that most kids start purposefully leveling around age ten, we’re just doing it now.
“Hey dad?” Jenna calls for my attention as she comes out of the house.
“What is it?”
“Why don’t we just tell their parents?” As she said this, I look to see how her eye is doing. It looks like the healing skill I used did it’s job, but she’s still squinting a little. I’ll have to powerlevel some healing skills that work on people other than me. The woes of solo play.
“We could do that, but we won’t. If we did, the most those kids would get is a lecture and a slap on the wrist. They wouldn’t stop and the point of punishing them is to make them stop. We have to make sure that they won’t do it again, and the best way to do that is to make an example out of them.”
“An example?” Jenna asks confused.
“Exactly. If they pick on you, and you beat them up until they cry, all the other kids will understand that if they mess with you they will be hurt. That would solve the root of the problem, as it would make kids afraid of bullying you. Revenge should be clever and brutal.”
“I… I see, but how will I be able to beat them?” She doesn’t seem confused anymore, but what’s with that look in her eye? It looks like she just found the truth of the universe.
Eh whatever.
“Well we’re going to start by leveling you up a good bit. Then I’ll teach you how to actually fight. But to know where we’re going, we have to know where we are. So-”
“Wait, you're not gonna make me fight you or something like in your stories right? Because this is normally the part where the mentor beats up the trainee to make a point.” She interrupts me with a nervous voice. I didn’t think she’d be able to recognize cliches like that. I may have been telling her too many things that are ripped straight from Earth. Well, nothing I can do about it now.
“No, calm down. I’m just going to use the appraisal skill on you. I’m only telling you before hand because it’s your first time and you’ll feel a little exposed while it happens but that’s perfectly normal.”
“Oh...ok”
After activating [Appraisal], I see Jenna's character sheet.
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Jenna Duke Thornwood(Hype)
Level: 2
Strength: 3
Dexterity: 3
Intelligence: 2
Vitality: 2
Constitution: 1
Wisdom: 2
Skills: [Sequel Secret]
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Her stats look pretty normal considering her level and age, but I don’t like the look of that skill. “Sequel Secret’. Is that shitty computer planning to use my daughter the same way he’s using me? That bastard… Regardless, I can’t do anything about that right now. But I swear I’ll smash him in half the next time I see him.
Using [Appraisal] again,I look at the skill.
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[Sequel Secret]
Level: 10
Effect Type: Passive
All experience gains are greatly increased, skills become easier to learn.
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Overall, it looks like a nerfed version of my skill. I’m not happy she has this skill in the first place considering what having it means, but it does help with what we’re doing.
Leveling up in Cordova, at least for NPCs, is a ridiculously slow process. A normal person who doesn’t grind at all would probably be level 6 by the time they die. A seasoned adventurer would be around level 35 in their prime. Someone who does absolutely nothing other than grind would most likely make it to level 80, assuming they live at least ninety years.
The amount of experience needed to level up quadruples for every level. So while you only need ten experience to reach level 2, you would need forty to get to level 3, then one hundred sixty for level 4 and so on. This problem is exacerbated by the fact that most monsters rarely drop more than three experience at a time. By the time you’re past level 25, you’re lucky to level up once a year.
Originally, I planned to have Jenna out of school for two weeks. Having her do nothing but kill the local wildlife to grind for the first week, then spending the next week teaching her how to fight. Without the skill, she would be lucky to reach halfway to level 4 by the end of the week. But since the skill is boosting her gains, reaching level 4 shouldn’t be a problem.
“Ok Jenna, right now, our goal is to get you to level 4 by next monday.”
“WHAT?! There’s no way I can do that!” Jenna is looking at me like I just told her to travel around the world in 40 days.
“Did you even look at your skill?”
“No…”
“Then do it.”
Jenna looks down and after a couple of seconds an anxious look spreads across her face. Does she not like the skill? It’s a lesser version of mine so it’s not as good, but mine got me from level 2 to level 4 in a day so hers should be able to do that in a week.
“...How do I look at it?” She asks.
“Go crosseyed.”
“Thanks.”
She stares at the ground for a moment.
“Ok I get it.”
“Great now, let’s get started.”
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The next day.
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“Look! I leveled up!” Jenna excitedly exclaimed while standing over the corpse of a dead boar.
“R- really? That’s great.”
“Come on, let’s keep going!” She runs off to find more boars.
I stand over the boar’s corpse and look at Jenna’s running figure.
Jenna… isn’t this too fast? I didn’t expect you to hit level 3 until tomorrow. You’re covered in blood, shouldn’t that bother you? Like, you could at least hide your excitement when you kill the boars, your only a kid.
With worrying thoughts in my mind, I follow Jenna on her murder spree.
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One week later.
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“Jenna, before I teach you how to fight there’s something I want to talk to you about.” I say as I sit Jenna down at the table. This has been a growing problem throughout the week. I need to have this conversation now, while she’s young.
“What is it?” Her innocent expression shows that she has no idea that she might be a sociopath.
“While we were grinding up your level, I noticed that you extremely enjoyed the act of killing.”
“Yeah, raising my level was fun.” She responds with a big smile. It’s cute but a little scary considering what she’s saying.
“It’s fine if you like raising your level, the problem is that the act of killing shouldn’t be fun. Life is a precious thing. You only ever get one. The loss of it should be met with grief, not joy.” I tell her the point as cleanly as I could possibly make it.
“So killing all those boars was wrong? You were the one who told me to do it.” Why is she throwing blame around? That’s not the point.
“No, it wasn’t wrong. Hunting is an ok thing to do. What’s not ok is hurting things simply because you enjoy it. Do you understand?”
“...I guess.”
“No, tell me ‘Yes, I understand hurting people for fun is wrong.’” I add a more forceful tone to the command. I need her to get this.
“Yes, I understand hurting people for fun is wrong.”
“Good.”
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One week later.
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“Ok Jenna today’s the day. Are you ready?” I ask as she’s by the door to leave.
“You bet I’m ready.” She replies with an excited smile.
“Are you gonna make them stop bullying you!”
“You bet I will!”
“WHOSE ASSES ARE YOU GONNA KICK?!”
“THEIRS!”
“EXACTLY! NOW GET OUT THERE AND SHOW THEM WHAT FOR!”
“YES SIR!”
Pumped out of her mind, Jenna runs off to school.
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Later that day.
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I’m sitting at the table waiting for Jenna to get back. I’m a little worried about how things will go down but she should be fine. Her little murder spree was terrifying but it got her to level 4 really quickly. Hell, she’s a quarter of the way to level 5. I doubt there’s any kids at that school above level 2. Well, at least in her grade.
Even if a kid there is level 3 she should be able to deal with it, despite how unlikely that is.. Because leveling up is so slow in this game, your level has an incredible amount of weight in a fight. Every level up increases your stat total by 30 percent. Since you start with a total of 10 at level 1, Jenna has a total of 22, while everyone else has 13 or 17 at most. I also told her to put her points into strength and vitality so she can take more punches, knowing she might end up fighting multiple people.
Skills are a different story though. She didn’t learn any while grinding and I didn’t make her grind any out. I thought that her experience boost would at least get her the [Punch] skill but I guess she didn’t exactly meet the criteria somehow. Although in my opinion, that’s for the best. She’s still only a kid, she doesn’t need any skills.
As for the one week of training I gave her, it wasn’t really anything formal. I told her how to make a proper guard and the basics of dodging, but I didn’t tell her anything about offense. Well, I told her to go for the nuts but I thought that was obvious so it’s a freebie. The point is I tried to not give her tools to hurt innocents. I grinded her up for self defense, not so her fists could register as lethal weapons.
*CRASH*
As I’m thinking about how easy Jenna should have it, the door slams open to reveal none other than Jenna. I’m incredibly worried about how her body is covered in bruises, how her mouth is bleeding, and her black eye is back, but she seems really happy.
“DAD I DID IT!” She screams as soon as she’s in the door.
“You did?! That’s great! But are you ok? You look hurt.” I get up from my chair to congratulate her as well as look at her wounds.
“No I’m fine. Anyway, it was so cool! I was all like: “POW”. And they were all like-”
“That’s fantastic Jenna but you’re covered in bruises. Go sit down and I’ll fix you up. You can tell me all about while we do that." I interrupt her before she gets too excited. Her health is important.
As I start using my newly power leveled [Greater Heal], Jenna tells me all about how she beat up a bunch of her classmates.
“...and then after that, this other kid with a bowl cut tries to come up and hit me from behind. Luckily I saw him so I tripped him and he fell down. Then I kicked him a couple of times for good measure.” She happily talks about how it started with two kids trying to pick on her, then when she stood up for herself, it escalated into what I can really only describe as a bar fight.
“Wow, so how many kids ended up joining the fight?” I ask as I finish healing her.
“Um… I think six.”
“Aren’t there only five other kids in your class?” I say confused.
“Yeah.”
“Then where’d the other guy come from?”
“I think he was the bowl cut kid’s big brother. He was a lot bigger than everyone else.”
“Wait so you beat up an older kid?!”
“Yeah.”
“That’s awesome! Good job!”
“Hehe.” She beams with pride at the compliment. Oh god she’s so cute. Probably not for those other kids she just beat up but it’s adorable to me.
----------------------------------------
Three years later.
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Well, this is it. Today’s the day. The game is out.
This morning when I woke up, there was a message in my stat screen. It read as follows.
Hey Charlie! Or is it Reginald? You really change names a lot don’t you. Anyway, I’m giving you this message to tell you that as of today, the game is live. Isn’t that great?! A lot of people, and by that I mean me, have worked really hard to make this possible and now all that work is bearing fruit. And don’t worry about the sales, Cordova was the most popular game at E3 for the past three years and there were over 20 million preorders. Also, I noticed that you have some complaints about Jenna’s future employment options. Don’t worry about that. She’s only slated to work in the sequel, and that’s a long way away.
Your Favorite Deity
A.S.C.
In all honesty, I really didn’t expect him to tell me the game was out. Sure, he gave me the message about it 10 years ago, but I never got another notification after that. Not five years in advance, not one year in advance, not even one week in advance. How does telling me about it 10 years ahead of time then never again help? I was honestly really worried about this. Like for the past month I was paranoid about how the game might have been out and I really had no way of knowing. Thankfully I got that message.
Regardless of how convenient the message was, did that shitty computer really just confirm that he was going to put Jenna in the same situation I’m in and just handwave it? I swear to whatever other god that will listen; I will fucking break that bastard over my knee.