On a cold winter morning, a woman had gone into labor. The baby wasn’t expected for another two weeks so she was completely unprepared. The first contraction came when she was washing her husband’s favorite shirt. The sudden burst of pain, while short, caused her legs to give out. Her screams echoed through the house as she hit the floor. It was only as the second contraction came she fully realized what was happening.
On a cold winter morning, a man was purchasing firewood. He was having a decidedly bad day. The reason was that the firewood had gone up in price, again. While he had been able to buy enough for the week, that estimate only came when he included being frugal about its use. His mood worsened when he thought about how most things had been going up in price recently. He thought about how he could make some extra money on the side, but he could only come up with the risky idea of gambling. To lighten his mood slightly, he thought about how he’d get to wear his favorite shirt tomorrow.
As he was thinking this, he noticed his neighbor sprinting towards him. He was confused by this. He had never seen his neighbor running before. Mainly because his neighbor was remarkably fat, his unathleticism proven by the fact that he seemed to have run out of breath several minutes ago. The man celebrated the occasion by suppressing a laugh. When the man’s neighbor reached hearing distance, he shouted with all his might that his wife had gone into labor.
When the man heard this, his expression briefly became one of confusion. Which then shifted to an expression of realization, and finally stopping at extreme worry. He immediately began running as fast as he could manage while trying not to drop the remarkably expensive firewood. His neighbor let out a cry of frustration as he was left behind.
After several worryful minutes of running, he burst through the door to his house. Making his way to the only bedroom, he found his wife on their bed, crying in pain. Next to the bed was his neighbor’s wife, who was wearing an expression that screamed “WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?” The man went to the side of the bed he told her to go get the doctor. She obediently ran to find him.
The man began consoling his wife. Doing everything he could to ease the pain. His attempts seemed to be proven futile, but he didn’t stop. He began telling his wife the story of how they first met in the woods, when both their fathers took them hunting for the first time. Then the story of how he realized he loved her, when she beat his sister over the head with a broom after she insulted him. Recounting their wedding day, and how it was the happiest day of his life. The man would have kept going, but the door burst open revealing the doctor and his neighbor’s wife behind him. While he felt relieved the doctor was here, his worry refused to lessen.
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On a cold winter evening, a baby was born. While the baby was not old enough to develop any thoughts other than that of the abstract variety, it decided that it was having a horrible time. The air was blistering cold, the people around it seemed to only know how to communicate at high volumes, and it was hungry. The baby had not experienced enough to make this claim, however, it made the conclusive decision that this was the worst day of its life.
After being thoroughly looked at, which the baby found very unpleasant, by a man who seemed to know what he was doing, the baby was gently handed to a woman. The baby was not sure who this woman was, but it felt safe being in her embrace. Her words were soft and seemed to glow with love. After enjoying the woman’s warmth for several minutes, the baby decided that today wasn’t so bad after all.
As several weeks passed, the baby learned to recognize the woman as its mother. As well as the man who seemed to be around her mother a lot as its father. Its father left the house a lot and didn’t often come home before dark. Its mother spent most of her time simply holding it, seemingly enjoying every second. The baby did not disagree, being perfectly happy just being near its mother.
Lately however, the baby noticed that its mother seemed anxious. It thought that it would quickly pass, but she only became more and more unnerved. Its father also seemed to be anxious as well. Coming home less frequently, and when he was home he often paced around the room. When the baby was alone in its room, beginning to take its naps, it heard its parents say things like “That Hype bastard.” and “Why the FUCK did you bet everything?!” It did not quite understand what these things meant, but was worried non the less.
One morning, the baby woke up. The baby was not in its crib, nor was it in its house. The baby looked for its mother. After not being able to find her, it began looking for its father. It had no success. The baby hoped that its parents would come back to it, so it waited. It waited. It kept waiting. It was cold. The baby began to cry
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It’s so fucking cold.
I’ve had that thought a lot recently. I bet plenty of other people have had that thought too, considering that it’s fucking winter. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it snow this much in either of my lives. There’s like three feet of it. And that’s even more annoying for me because I’m not exactly the tallest person I’ve ever met. Whatever, there won’t be snow where I’m going.
I can imagine it now; Boglong Swamp: A disgusting, horrible, and annoying place to be. Also the home of Reginald, he’s useless so just ignore him. There are plenty of advantages for making it my home, but the one I’m most focused on right now is that it has a tropical climate that stays at least 40 degrees all year round. If only it wasn’t so far away.
I really didn’t factor in the distance between myself and my destination when I first set out. While both my start and end points are technically in Saracondra, they just so happen to be on the opposite sides of it. And I’m finding out now more than ever that Saracondra is actually a rather large country. I’ve been on the road for a week and it’ll probably be three or four more until I actually get there. It also doesn’t help that I have to try and not stand out too much. A lot of people know what I look like so I have to keep my head down.
If I ignore the problem of distance, I have a much more pressing issue. I’m running out of money. I grabbed a bit when I first ran away, but I don’t have a source of income anymore. And ever since the new taxes were levied, prices just keep going up. Thanks Supreme Dictator. You want to make a bigger army so you just slap a shit ton of taxes on everybody. That's a good way to make people like you.
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Normally when I needed money I’d just go kill some monsters and sell whatever they drop. Unfortunately I need a valid Identification to sell anything related to monsters or the hunting thereof. So that’s a dead end for my current situation.
Do I have anything on me I can sell? Well I have the clothes I’m wearing, I’d rather not. I have a spare set of clothes, but I need those about as much as my current set. I’ve got my coat. It’s winter, no thanks. I have a towel, toothbrush, map, and a comb. Those are basic necessities. Damn, I’m at a loss.
“Hey.”
Oh wait, I have a deck of cards on me. Maybe I could set up one of those card tables. You know the ones, where the dude is all like: “Find the queen out of these three cards.” Then he cheats and takes your money.
“HEY.”
No, I actually don’t think that would work. Like I said, the new taxes have been kinda destroying people’s disposable income. I don’t think anyone would have any pocket money to bet. Even if they did, those kinds of people probably wouldn’t be in the parts of town I’m sticking too. I don’t even know to cheat at that game. I think the trick was double lifting the cards or something.
“HEY BUDDY!”
Oh shit someone is talking to me. I must have been too engrossed in my monetary woes to notice.
“Oh I’m sorry, what is it?” I politely respond.
The man looked at me like I’m an idiot. Then says “Your wallet, hand it over.” Flashing a knife.
Excuse me? I’m being mugged? ME? I thought I was smarter than this. I’m not some idiot who just stumbles into dark alleyways. Actually now that I think about it, where am I?
I take a good look at my surroundings only to come to the realization that I have in fact stumbled into a dark alleyway. I was also followed by this large man with a knife and another slightly smaller man who was holding his fists in a threatening manner.
I really don’t have time for this. I need to figure out how to make some money, and being mugged is the exact opposite of what I want right now. I’ll try calmly defusing the situation.
“Ok guys, how about we just calm down. I’m not exactly “Mr. Moneybags” so let’s just put the knife down and we can all go home, alright?”
“We’ll go home once you give us your wallet.” As the man dashed my hopes of solving this situation easily, the blade of his knife starts emitting a green aura.
A buffing skill? I guess we’re doing this. I begin to think about some skills I have that can get rid of these idiots while being discreet.
“Actually hold on.” Before anyone can do anything, the man brandishing his fists breaks the tension. “Now that I look at you a little bit more, aren’t you Ch-”
Before the extremely dangerous man can finish his thought, I activate the skills [Minor Teleportation] and [Crushing Fist] to appear behind him and shatter his spine. He falls to the floor, not uttering a single word. Before his friend can figure out what he was saying, I do the same to him.
Holy shit that was dangerous. They almost figured out who I was. The last thing I need is a trail of sightings to tell the players where I’m going. It sure is a good thing I got rid of these violent criminals when I did.
Now back to the problem about money. I can’t sell anything, and the card stand is a no go. What can I do? Hold on, I’ll bet that I’m not the first person these guys mugged today. Looking through their pockets I find a hefty sum of 238 gold. This should keep me fed for a good week.
Well, that’s one problem solved. Now I should get back on the road. I start to head out of the ally but I notice that the sun is starting to go down. Maybe I should find a nice inn to sleep in. I’ve got a little extra now, maybe I can get one with a fireplace in my room. That would be nice, it would keep out the cold.
I take a quick look at the ally as I’m leaving it. Mainly so I can make sure that the newly made corpses aren’t too visible. The three feet of snow seems to be hiding their bodies pretty well. Actually hold on, what’s that?
Near the back of the alley was a pile of cloth. Now I’m not sure who would just throw away some perfectly good cloth but I will gladly take it. The only spare rag I have is my towel which gets dirty pretty quickly, and there aren’t exactly laundromats in this world. So I will take all the spares I can get.
Moving over to the pile of cloth I notice that the cloth is actually wrapped around something. More free shit? Neato. I uncover the cloth to see what it was covering and oh my god it’s a baby.
Ok wait. A baby, wrapped in cloth outside in an alleyway with no parents in sight? Looks like the poor guy’s been abandoned. Unless his parents were the two guys I just killed, in that case he’s an orphan. He isn’t crying, nor is he moving very much. The cold must be getting to him.
I feel bad for the little guy but this really isn’t my problem. I don’t have the money to really support another mouth to feed. Not only that, I’m going to be living in a secluded swamp for the rest of my life. That’s no place for a kid to grow up.
If you don’t take him, he won’t last much longer out here dude. My inner thoughts retort my line of thinking.
Well that sucks, but shit happens. How many orcish slaves do you think die by excess whipping? Probably a lot, but I’m not helping them am I?
Well the slaves aren’t being whipped to death in front of you, this baby is though.
Again, that sucks. But I don’t have the financial leeway to take care of a child. For fucks sake, I can only afford an inn tonight because I just killed two guys and looted their corpses. Saying these things to myself, I begin to walk away.
Didn’t you always want kids?
I stop in my tracks and look at the baby again. I did always want kids, but due to a certain genetic disposition I was unable to make any. I thought about adopting, but my ex wife was all; “But I want it to be mine." and that’s as far as that ever got.
Let’s be honest dude, do you really think that shitty computer was a good enough of a person to fix your ballsack? As his kidnapping victim, I doubt it.
I look at the baby a little bit more. I continue thinking for a bit and eventually pick him up. “Alright kid, look, If you’re gonna be my adopted son, I’ll have to set some ground rules. First; if you make even one attempt to breastfeed off me, I’m grounding you. Second; if you wake me up in the middle of the night too many times, I’m grounding you. Lastly; if you ever feel like life is spiraling out of control, just remember that you’re probably right. Now let’s get you somewhere that’s above freezing.”
After I head out of the alley, I realize that the baby doesn’t have a name. I think for a bit and say “Let’s call you ‘Duke.’”