Tez was dead. He can’t remember how he died, but he knows it happened. At least that was what the scroll said. Or more precisely he had read:

You, Tez Darak, are dead. You are probably wondering how you died, but that is not important…

The rest of the message seemed to be details of his life that mentioned some notable achievements and embarrassments. Tez didn’t take the time to read the entire thing and skimmed over most of it. The scroll was handed to him by a weirdly dressed and odd-looking man sitting behind an oak desk. Every few moments, he would glance at the man on the other side of the desk wondering if he would say anything.

However, the man seemed to be in no hurry–his legs propped up on the desk while leaning back in his brown leather chair with a thick book in hand. Tez couldn’t decide what the man looked like. Or was he a woman? A human? It seemed like his appearance changed every time Tez looked up.

Finally, after lots of skimming, Tez read something helpful in the scroll:

Your after-death advisor, Ei, will answer any questions that you may have in any way Ei sees fit. Ei has provided after-death support to many of history's greats, including Emperor Vux, Euxen Dellop, and Mama Lala…

Only Emperor Vux rang a bell in Tez’s head. It was his great-grandfather after all.

“Um,” Tez cleared his throat, “Ei?”

Tez wasn’t sure if the man–or thing–in front of him was Ei, but it seemed right. His guess did not go unanswered either, as it moved its eyes from the book and met his own. Its eyes were the only thing that did not change like the rest of it. A scholar’s knowledge and a warrior’s wisdom looked to be imprinted within them. Something within Tez felt unworthy to be in the presence of such a being, but he quickly stifled that feeling. Tez was taught at a young age to never feel or become subservient to someone of lower or unknown rank.

“It’s pronounced Nah-guy,” it said in an uncaring tone, confirming that it was, in fact, Ei.

“It is spelled weirdly, I know,” Ei continued. “Have you finished reading the contract?”

Tez looked back at his scroll, assuming that it was the contract Ei was referring to.

“No, not yet. Do I need to read all of it?”

Ei shrugged, or at least, it looked like Ei shrugged.

“That’s up to you. All I need is your signature at the end of the contract. Confirming that all the information that is listed in the contract is correct to the best of your knowledge. The contracting department is pretty thorough, so I doubt anything is incorrect.”

“Okay, but why? And who or what are you? What is this place? Did you actually meet my great-grandfather? And how did I die?”

Ei sighed under his breath, “Nobody ever reads the contract.”

Ei stood up from its chair. Making Ei’s form waver at different spots of its body like raindrops in a puddle. The sudden movement of Ei caused Tez to fall backward on his chair, landing hard against the wood flooring. His instincts went haywire, but his body refused to move.

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The room he was in started to vibrate, and then shake, harder and harder. He hadn’t realized it before, but there were no windows or doors in the room. Only full bookshelves, lamps, and the desk with chairs on either side. Furniture that was very rare or completely unknown to Tez. But now, the room was starting to change into something more familiar.

The walls became towers of marble. The flooring changed from cheap wood to exceptional hardwood with a golden tint. Tez stared in awe as everything moved around him and expanded into an elegant throne room. Greater than any other throne room he had seen before, including his own family’s. There were fountains, torches burning bright flames, half columns protruding from the walls, and a radiant red carpet leading to a magnificent throne.

Around the throne were multiple candlesticks burning different colored flames on them. The throne itself was unlike any he had seen before. It seemed to be carved out of the same wood used for the floor, yet also somehow chiseled out of the marble walls. The backrest reached the never-ending ceiling and was laced with red velvet cushions.

“I figured I could make the setting a bit more comfortable for you,” Ei said as it walked up a set of stairs to reach the throne. A white robe hanging loosely from its shoulders and trailing behind each of its steps.

Still flat on his bum, Tez watched as Ei sat comfortably on the throne.

“Alright, so stand up and listen closely,” Ei said after a few silent moments.

Tez listened to the command.

“I’m gonna answer your questions in the opposite order you asked them. Try to keep any additional questions you may have during my answers to a minimum. You understand?”

“Yes,” Tez responded.

“Good. Now, how did you die? Unfortunately, you won’t remember until you sign the contract and I am unable to tell you. Did I meet your great-grandfather? Yes, I did. I liked that man. Didn’t ask as many questions as his kin.”

“He was a tyrant,” Tez interjected, confused as to how his great-grandfather was considered a great man in history.

Ei replied calmly, “Yes, he was. A pretty evil one at that. However, his actions spurred on a better age. The age you live in now. He had very few regrets when he died. No one dies with zero regrets. Yet, his main one was the same as yours. The main regret that your family has had for generations. But I’ll get to that in a moment.”

Your next question was, what is the place? Well, it is nothing. It doesn’t exist. This place is nowhere and everywhere. Time and space are irrelevant. Only one's soul can be in such a place. You following?”

“I don’t think so. I’m not the scholarly type.”

“Not many in your family line are. A Viking lot is how I’d describe you. Tough and with raggedy features but a bit less violent, I’d admit. Still, many scholars would probably struggle with that explanation too.”

“Is there a better explanation then?”

“No.”

Tez blinked. Unsure if he has gotten any real answers yet. Memories were also starting to come back about his life before he died. Memories about a journey for something. Something that his family has been trying to obtain for many, many years. His thoughts slowly formed as Ei continued to talk.

“Anyways, I am not a who or a what. I am just Ei. And now, you’re final question is why do you need to sign the contract, right? Put simply, it’s because we need your permission to use that information to decide where you’ll spend eternity.”

“Eternity?” Something clicked inside of Tez’s head, “Like Heaven or Hell?”

“Something like that, yes.”

“But what about immortality?! That’s what I was searching for during my journey. There was said to be a tree that produced fruit that would give immortality to those who ate from it. Did I die before getting there?”

“No, you got to the tree and ate its fruit.”

The memory flashed through Tez’s head. The joy of his party finding the mystical tree after months of extraneous traveling. All of them plucking the golden fruit from the tree’s stem and eating in glorious triumph. Kissing, hugging, drinking. It was a night unlike any other, but what happened after that?

“If I ate the fruit, how did I die?”

Tez felt flames burn within him.

“I should have been immortal!”

“Immortality is a myth!” Ei’s voice echoed deeply.

Tez fell to his knees. His flame flickering.

“Immortality,” Ei continued in a softer tone, “does not exist in the mortal realm.”

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