Esteve and I searched for hours trying to find Ren. I had no idea that the city was so massive. Even though the Sandsperpants were underground, they seemed to have had a solution for every survival need. Farmers could maintain crops from an underground spring and artificial light derived from bottled sunlight. No area was wasted, they had houses stacked together for miles, and tall detailed structures for more high-income homes laid out between them. Even the shopping district was filled with a wide variety for people to browse.
Coming up to the end of another district, my legs began to burn from overuse. I can’t remember the last time I walked this much.
“Have you seen a human man come this way?” Esteve asked one of the locals. The young Sandsperpant shook their head. “No, I haven’t. Sorry.”
This felt like the hundredth person we asked about Ren and it is always the same answer. Finding him began to feel like a lost cause. While I was concerned for him, a part of me felt relieved. I was nervous to see him. We have so much to talk about, and what if he doesn’t feel the same way I do? I have never told a man I have loved them before, but the ache in my heart for Ren told me that my feels are true. I wasn’t prepared for this, any of this. My head throbbed with mental exhaustion. I’ve been thinking far too much for my own good. I pressed my fingers against my temple, hoping for the pain to subside. As the pressure sparked a surge of discomfort I closed my eyes. The aching pain pulsated through my temples and what felt like the back of my eyes. I was so tired, everything in my body told me to rest, but my head kept me standing.
Sir Esteve placed her hand on my back. “I think we should turn back. He could be back at the palace by now. If not, I’ll take care of it. You need to rest.”
Rest… The word was hypnotic. When it hit my ears a force of slumber pushed me to my knees. Esteve quickly caught me in her arms. She called out for me, but my mind was already gone into a state of dreaming.
🜃
The sound of a closing door woke me. When I opened my eyes I was in bed under a thin red blanket. The mattress felt soft under the dead weight of my body. My headache had mostly subsided, but a small tingle at my temples remained. As I heard footsteps close by, I moved my eyes to the figure of a tall man with dark mangled hair. Ren…
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As I shifted it caused the bed to creak, bringing Ren’s eyes in its direction. “I didn’t want to wake you.” He said softly. His eyes were tired, and puffy. No doubt similar to mine.
“That’s okay. I am glad you are here.” I forced a sleepy smile.
“Will you join me for a moment? There is something I want to say.” He reached out to me, his palm open for the taking. My heart jumped as nervous energy enveloped me. Accepting his hand, he supported me out of bed, but I kept the blanket around my shoulders for comfort.
We sat together in the living area. The couch was just big enough for the two of us where there was nowhere to run. Our knees touched as we sat side by side causing my skin to tingle with excitement.
Galleren took a deep breath, pausing before he spoke. His eyes staring down at his fidgeting hands. “When I was little, my Father told me that I should never apologize, even if I was in the wrong. He said that it was a sign of weakness, and as a future King, I should never be seen as weak.” He always becomes tense when he talks about King Thybaut. It pains me to see him have such an effect on Ren. “I can see know that he was wrong about that. So forgive me, if I am doing this incorrectly…” As Ren continued to speak, I saw a change in posture, he looked stronger, confident. “I am sorry.” He takes my hand, holding it tightly. “I am sorry for how I have been acting. I am sorry for how I treated you last night, the things I said-” His voice broke off, “I’ll never forget the fear in your eyes, I never want you to look at me that way again.” Picking up my hand he brings it to his lips, giving each knuckle a soft and tender kiss. “Everything is changing, and most of these changes were out of my hands. I like to be in control, to know what is coming, but I realize now that this cannot always be and I need to accept that rather than taking it out on the people I care for... Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?”
His tired eyes were full of remorse. Ren’s hand never left mine as he waited for my reply. My heart was beating out of my chest. Taking in a breath of bravery I place my other hand around his. I paused thinking of how I wanted to say it, what was the best way? Then I realized that there is no right answer but the answer itself. “Words can’t erase last night, however with time it will pass. You can’t give up on the ones you love.”
My husband’s eyes widened in happiness. He quickly sprang up, showering me with kisses. “I couldn’t agree more,” he said.
“For what it is worth, I am sorry too. For what I said at the feast. I think I was afraid, and I am not anymore. We are in this together.” Ren helps my face in his hands bring my forehead to his. I couldn’t help but smile as the crown of our head met. As I closed my eyes I heard Ren whisper. “We are in this together.”