Winter was in full effect, turning the mountain into a frozen wonderland of twisted trees and snow drifts. Only the yellow road was unaffected. Any snow that touched it melted away instantly, clearing a path for travelers.

The rogue cultivator looked back at the road. They had been digging through snow and ice for what felt like hours, slowly working their way to the temple entrance. “Are you sure this is the place?” he asked.

“Reasonably sure,” Groucho replied, shoving a boulder out of the way to reveal an opening. “The stonework matches what I remember.”

“But it's not the place where you were created?”

“Definitely not.” Groucho replied. This was a ruin, his temple had been much nicer.

Zane took in the unadorned gray stone. It didn't look like much of a temple to him, but who was he to judge? Besides, it was fucking cold out on the mountain. Only his recent level up had prevented the howling wind from freezing him solid. “Alright, I'm going in. Any last minute advice?

“Don't die,” said the construct.

“That's not particularly helpful.”

“Oh, so I'm supposed to be helping. You should have said that sooner.” Groucho stroked his chin, trying to think what would be important to a flesh bag like Zane.

“Alright, temples are usually laid out like a circular maze, with the main shrine in the center,” he said, “Some of the bigger ones have multiple levels. But you won't know until you're inside. Judging by how long this one has been left abandoned, it's probably pretty deadly. But that usually means there's a big prize for whoever clears it.”

“Big risk, big prize. Got it.” The Rogue Cultivator nodded.

“You might run into constructs and spirit beasts, so be careful,” Groucho warned, “Temple guardians are meant to be avoided, not defeated. The gods usually get mad if you kill one. They're a bitch to replace.”

Zane peered into the opening. Only the faint golden glow coming from deep inside hinted at the structure’s purpose. “Do you have any idea which god the temple is dedicated to?”

Grouch shook his head. “None. Temples are always changing hands. It's entirely possible one of the newer deities took it over from the original owner.”

“Great. With my luck it will be that asshole Coyote.”

“Possibly. But he can't deny you the prize if you finish. Those are the rules.” The construct let out a yawn. “Are you going in or not?”

“Alright then, here goes nothing,” Zane said as he passed the threshold. A moment later there was the sound of grinding stone, then the entrance closed behind him.

“Right,” said Groucho as golden wards sprang to life, illuminating the forgotten temple, “I forgot about that bit.”

***

Zane made his way deeper into the temple. The unadorned gray stone was suspiciously uniform, like it had been cut by machines instead of chiseled by hand. That, combined with the golden light emanating from nowhere in particular, gave the place an almost sterile aesthetic.

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It felt like walking down an abandoned subway tunnel, or playing an early access video game where the devs hadn't gotten around to filling in the fine details yet. There was no litter, dust, or any signs of animal life. It was just blank.

As the gray corridor began gradually sloping downward, Zane felt a sense of growing unease. This wasn't a place built for people. It was too sterile and dead for that. Every aspect of the tunnel had been laid out with cold mechanical precision, and he hated it.

Eventually, Zane came to an archway. He stepped through it, and once again stones ground into place behind him to block the exit.

“That's fucking ominous,” the rogue cultivator said as he took in his surroundings. The gray stone walls of the maze were as dull and boring as ever. His first instinct was to cheat by climbing over them, but there were no gaps between the walls and the ceiling.

His second idea was to tunnel through the walls, but that sounded boring, and he wasn't sure if it would actually be quicker than just running through the maze.

Zane summoned a cleaver and whacked the wall a few times. Sparks flew from each strike, eventually leaving a small chip in the uniform gray stone. To his complete lack of surprise, the damage disappeared a few seconds later as the stone regrew.

“Figures,” the rogue cultivator said as he made his way into the maze. Zane decided to turn right at the junction, which sealed itself behind him. The rogue cultivator wasn't sure if the one-way nature of the maze was a blessing or a curse, but he had a sneaking suspicion that whoever designed it hadn't been playing fair.

It would be all too easy for someone to take a wrong turn and get sealed away in a dead end corridor. The archways were also completely uniform, with no clues as to which direction was the right one. He gritted his teeth and continued.

Sometime later, the floor fell out from under him, revealing a spike pit. Zane teleported away from danger, only to find a second pit. He barely managed to avoid the second trap by jumping forward while his teleport recharged, which landed him over a third pit.

“What an asshole,” Zane said as he fell towards the spikes.

***

He woke up on a cool stone floor, surrounded by diffuse golden light. Zane rubbed his face and groaned. Somehow he was still in the maze.

The rogue cultivator got up and stretched, easing the tension from his muscles. Zane didn't know how the maze had reset his spawn point, but that didn't matter. There were only a few days left before the cooking competition, and Pinky would be pissed if he missed it.

Zane started making his way through the maze, keeping an eye out for any variations in the floor that might reveal another spike trap. As he had suspected, there were none, which led him to revise his strategy.

Instead of leaping forward when the next trap triggered, he teleported back to solid ground. Zane waited for a second trap to trigger, but nothing happened. He let out a sigh of relief and went to work.

Summoning a heavy cast iron pan and throwing it at the floor didn't trigger the pit traps. The loud clang as the pan hit stone also told him that the builders weren't using illusions to conceal the pits, which was a mixed blessing.

It meant he couldn't poke the floor with a stick to reveal the traps. But on the plus side, once the trap was sprung, he could still avoid it if he was quick enough.

Zane peered down into the pit. It was a ten foot fall, directly onto rows of metal spikes, with other smaller spikes set between them. Good luck avoiding those, he thought.

The pit itself stretched from wall to wall, and was slightly wider at the bottom, with steeply sloped sides to prevent someone from grabbing onto the walls on their way down. There was, however, one minor flaw.

The stones that made up the floor were uniform squares, each exactly one foot wide. The pit was ten feet by eight feet, with sides that angled away from the opening. That meant there was a two foot wide strip of safe ground between it and the next pit.

The rogue cultivator grinned and took a running leap, prepared to teleport back to safety if he was wrong. Zane touched down safely on the two foot wide strip. He decided to press his luck and jump to the next one, which if the trap makers followed the same pattern, would be eight squares away.

Zane’s feet landed on the floor, and when it didn't fall out from underneath him, he let out a shout of triumph. “Fuck yeah! Take that, you OCD asshole!”