"I want to see him", when those unexpected words escaped her lips, I felt that time stood still.
Only the mischievous winds touched her then, in all her purity she stood there looking into worlds she had left behind.
It was when Chopper had told Lady about Jean V.'s last message. She fell into a daze, staring into empty space like she so often used to.
"That bastard...and I tried my best too", she said grinning, "He simply wouldn't join me, even after I'd succeeded in building everything. I kept insisting but he'd never even give me a reason. If he kept refusing me over and over again, then I'd finally submit and go back to him...is what he was thinking. He was being so stubborn, so I had to be more stubborn."
Chopper sat smoking, all ears, but looking away, while I stood beside her listening just as closely as he was.
"But", she spoke after a slight pause, "If I hadn't been stubborn, I wonder..."
And then she fell into a deep silence, staring emptily into the distance. As I looked at the side of her face, I could tell quite easily that her empty eyes were looking at all the impossible stories she could have been a part of if she'd chosen to go back. Perhaps a life of peace, a life that is ordinary, a life without staring the truth right in its face...perhaps a life like that isn't all that bad.
"I want to see him", her painful whisper, barely managed to leave her lips, before she pursed them close. I stared at her in disbelief. I didn't know she was capable of saying something like that.
I wonder why I was thinking back on it now. It was almost like a dream playing itself out in front of me.
I was sitting in front of a glass window with the most breathtaking view I could never imagine. Yet, I found it so unmoving, even in all its magnificence. The distant green mountains, contrasted by a white waterfall springing from their crevices and disappearing below. Puffs of cloud floated by, obstructing whatever was beneath to come into view. The whole view glimmered in my eyes, as I sat behind a thin pane of glass, looking at this endless beauty. The shapes, the turns, the softness, the coldness, and the warmth of those mountains and that waterfall and that lush greenery held within, there simply isn't a way to describe all that. The first thing that comes to mind is that it was perfect. It was perhaps that fact that ultimately left me with little fascination for it.
"That's my seat", a pleasant voice broke the peaceful silence for a moment.
I had no intention of turning around and looking back at whoever stood in the dimness of that room. The window was the only source of light. And my eyes simply didn't want to give up the beauty of that picture to some dim companion that wanted to take away my seat.
When I didn't budge, the figure walked up and stood beside me, gazing out the glass. I turned my head to look at him, I wasn't surprised, of course, for I had recognized the voice already.
"Prophet", I said in a low voice.
He looked at me and smiled.
"You've changed so much. Without your nervous smile, I wonder if it's really you", I said, still scrutinizing him.
He chuckled.
"And you're taller. It really isn't you, Prophet", I turned my head away and continued gazing outside.
I was holding my legs as I sat on the ground and stared outside all hunched up, my face half digging into my knees with only my eyes spared to look outside.
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"It's strange", I spoke, "You're standing so tall while I'm curled up like this. It's almost like neither of us is us. How have things changed so much?"
Then I looked up at him, "Say, Prophet, is it just you or everyone else here too?"
"It's just me, Seraph", he replied coolly and gently.
"Is that so? I wonder why I can see everyone beside you then."
"I've been here on my own for a while, Seraph. What do you think?"
"It's nice here. If I could come here when I die, I wouldn't mind really", I said as I looked outside, "I see. Now, I get it, you're not Prophet. You're Lucifer."
He smiled gently, "Please continue to call me Prophet, Seraph.
"That's fine, it's not that I'd mind."
"Anyways, Seraph, are you sure you aren't dead already?"
"Yeah, I don't really feel it", even though it was nice and warm behind that glass pane, I didn't feel so dead after all, "What happened to the real Prophet? Did you switch places with him? Or did you send him off to some other hell, so he can be king?"
He chortled, "I am Prophet, Seraph. We're one and the same. Didn't you say you could see the others?"
"Yeah", I nodded, "And what about Lucy?"
"She is a part of me too. All that is love within me is Lucy."
"Is that so? For something such as love, Lucy sure has gone silent ever since I last saw her."
"Yeah, she's gotten smaller", he smiled, "A lot happened since then."
Lucy was now a little girl, still unclothed, she never looked at me once. She just stared emptily, standing in a dark corner.
"Are you happy here?", I finally asked.
"I don't mind it here. For a long time, I went around trying to gain God's favor. I left my place in hopes that I could redeem myself in His eyes. I thought I could change the truth for real this time, but I'm right back where I started. It seems I was given something that I can't overwrite no matter what I do. I will always be the king of demons, try as I might, to run away from it. This is fate, given to me, decided for me by God."
"How horrible...", I whispered.
He laughed softly, "I know, right?"
Silence fell between us for a while. Both of us gazed outside intently.
"It's not moving at all, are you sure it isn't just painted?", I asked.
"It's moving alright. The reason it doesn't seem like it's real is probably because it is so perfect it becomes constant. When you reach the highest point, Seraph, there is nowhere else to move on to. It's like being stopped in eternity."
"Ah, is that a bird? It's moving", I finally noticed two birds with huge wings flapping away in the distance.
"Yeah, there, you see?", he replied.
"I see", I rested my head on my knees, "Prophet, I don't understand anything anymore. I can't tell what Lady is thinking, what she wants...everything seems so pointless to me now. If she intends to just...burn everything down then..."
I hadn't realized when my voice began choking, it was the first sense of pain I had behind that glass window.
"...then...why did you have to die?"
I looked up at him, sorrowfully. He smiled at me gently. His neck was stitched back on his body, I had been avoiding looking at it, but the overwhelming number of stitches was almost pushing their way into my eyes.
"Can you see Nasty II?", he asked me.
"Yeah. But he doesn't look at me anymore. That's good, though."
He chuckled, "Why? Did you two fight?"
I remained silent.
"Seraph, shouldn't you leave now? You do realize that you aren't dead, don't you?"
"I don't want to."
"What if you really do end up dying?"
"So what? Please don't talk to me in such a condescending way. It isn't fair that you get to stay here. Don't you feel lonely in a world like this?"
"I was used to living like this, so I don't mind. But I do feel an emptiness now, after having met you, since you aren't here anymore. I'd say it was a good time we had, wouldn't you Seraph?"
I had lost my words, "No, I wish I hadn't killed you. I feel so lonely, in a world where you're no longer there. I shouldn't have killed you. Everything's just a mess now, Prophet. That world is broken now."
"Don't go saying such heartless things now. Seraph, I still believe, the only reason Lucy is still here, is because of you. I am not chasing after God anymore. If He still eludes me, then so be it. I'll stay right here in a warm place like this, where I belong. And I'll always be here, just like this."
"How selfish...You really aren't Prophet", I finally pushed myself to stand up beside him and that was the second sense of pain I had in that place.
I looked at him before turning my gaze outside. Then I reached out my hand to touch the glass window.
"I don't think there's anything beyond this...it's all just a dream after all."
Perhaps that singular realization was what pulled me back from that realm. His gentle smile is the last thing from that world that came with me. And there I was, on a snowy mountain, all alone...again.