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Rites and Rituals
1. A bad trip

1. A bad trip

For Alex, it should have been a normal camping trip. He knew the place like the back of his hand. Even if he hadn’t come since his dad died, this part of the wilderness was the stuff of his childhood.

What could go wrong? He was only staying for a night anyway.

As to why he was revisiting the place for the first time since his dad’s passing? He’d just been through a particularly bad breakup.

So Alex packed his bags and left.

Just as he’d hoped, revisiting the memory soaked lakeside forest had been the catharsis his soul needed.

The alcohol may have helped with that as well.

It hadn’t helped his bladder however so he went for a drunken hike through the woods, seeking a scenic spot to take a piss. A drunken ramble was easy enough to manage through the sparse woodland.

The only problem was the mist. With an eerie suddenness, Alex realised he couldn’t see two feet in front of him. Which was weird since he’d never fog around the area in his 22 years of living here.

He might of stopped to think about it, but alcohol didn’t exactly help his observation skills. 

For now, he really had to piss. And so he carried on.

It wasn’t until he realised he’d stepped into a perfect circle of mushrooms that the unease really set in. These weren’t your garden variety mushroom either. Big and vibrant, every individual fungus looked uniquely poisonous.

He couldn’t quite place why, but the lone stump he shared the space with unnerved him. And yet he couldn’t take his eyes of it. Walking up to the dead log, Alex had all forgotten his original reason for making the walk.

As he approached the stump he realised the curved top held a liquid. Through his blurred vision the golden liquor looked extremely delicious. 

Naturally he cupped a handful to drink.

As he sipped on what turned out to be an extremely delicious liquid, three things came to Alex’s attention. 

The first being that he was suddenly sober. Not the drunk sober we imagined ourselves to be when we were definitely not, Alex was without a doubt stone cold sober. Not only was this a startling realisation, it helped him to his second point.

“What the fuck was I thinking?” He couldn’t even imagine what would posses him to drink a questionable liquid out of a dead stump. 

This line of thought was quickly put on hold as he made his third discovery however.

While the mushrooms were still there, the fog was gone. And with it he could see the sparse woodland hand turned into a dense forest. Not only that, the humid summer night’s air now felt crisp. 

Most importantly, he was surrounded by what could only be called a swarm of little winged fairies all staring ravenously at him.

Alex looked back to the mushroom circle, then down to the log, before resting his eyes on the golden liquid still cupped in his hands.

Then he fell on his ass and swore. “Fuck”

The fairies erupted into laughter.

“Oh, is this the one?”

“He doesn’t look like much”

“He’s a funny man though.”

“The funny man doesn’t smell like a mage or a demon.”

“He looks like a normal human.”

“It doesn’t look like the first one will last.”

“Oh, lucky us!”

Alex wasn’t listening. There was only so many revelations a brain could take before it refused to take any more. He’d jumped well past that point. All that came to mind was that he wished he wasn’t sober.

“Alright everyone, stop scaring the human. We must continue the Rites.”

Hearing an authoritative tone amidst a sea of squeaks brought Alex back to reality. Looking up hopefully, he met eyes with a old man. 

A beautiful old man. 

Alex didn’t complement lightly, especially to old men, but that was really the only way he could describe him. 

Wearing a pristine black suit that made him look more at home in a country club than a forest, the elderly gentleman exuded nobility. Piercing blue eyes drew contrast to the man’s chiseled jawline, while snow white hair draped down over his long pointed ears...

“Ah.” Alex couldn’t even bring himself to swear.

Like a true gentleman, the elf ignored his slack jawed expression as he knelt down to offer a hand. Alex took it instinctively.

Pulling him up with strength that seemed impossible for his lithe frame, the man offered him a kindly smile before speaking. 

“Come, we can hardly leave the Queen in waiting.”

He turned around without waiting for an answer. Alex found no better option, so he followed.

While walking he noticed the swarm had turned silent. They kept up with the two, yet the fairies only offered an questionable smile when he looked up at them. None of their eyes moved off of him.

The surrounding were picturesque at least. While it had been well into the night before, this strange place seemed to be experiencing dusk. A gentle purple glow was cast from the distant sun, spilling through the treetops. The light breeze that blew through the forest carried the smell of roasted nuts.

Overall, it would have been an ideal place to piss if even dared to go. Or needed to. 

Only now do he realise that with his intoxication, the strange juice had even taken his need to relieve himself. In fact, his body felt better than it had back in high school. He was coursing with energy.

Alex decided not to think over the implications of this. He had problems in front of him to deal with.

Soon enough, he saw the path they took lead towards a stone castle that poked out from above the treetops. Previous events considered, Alex couldn’t bring himself to be surprised.

Eventually the forest trail led out into an open meadow. 

To what he saw next, Alex could manage some surprise.

Atop the sparse large trees and gentle rolling hills that filled the valley lay a horde a tiny fairy houses. Miniature cottages that one could only find in some hobbyist’s bite sized English village recreation filled every nook and cranny he could see. In fact the only spaces left alone were the mushroom lined paths that all led to the towering castle at the far end of the valley.

And to go with it all was a storm of fluttering little humanoids, all quietly smiling at their human guest. Alex inched closer to elf in front of him.

Despite his fears, the fairy village came and went without mishap. 

Much to his fears their retinue was joined by nearly every fairy that inhabited the village.

Alex could only ignore the million little eye he knew stared at the back of his head. Very slowly, they approached the open gates to the castle. 

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

Upon entering the courtyard Alex finally found more elves to match his guide. They even wore similar suits, all looking as old and graceful as the next. All male. They also stood in two lines that led towards the open castle doors. 

Apparently they were expecting him.

The castles interior was as perfect as the elves that inhabited it. Masterfully crafted stonework seemed to shine, yet the various weapons and paintings that lined the walls still drew the eye through their sheer beauty. He couldn’t admire for long however,as his guide led him through the next set of doors.

The throne room itself, like the rest of the castle, was a work of art. Yet Alex barely spared a glance to it’s beauty. There was something much more worth his attention after all. 

Atop a gleaming silver throne, accompanied on either side by an obsidian black wolf, sat the queen. And Alex knew instantly she was the queen. 

If elderly male elves looked beautiful to the modern man, you could imagine how the queen would be indescribable. Alex felt the word goddess barely did her justice.

Unlike her elven reagents, the Queen’s hair was as black as the darkest night, with streaks of pale white like moonlight. Her features were artistry above anything he knew a human could achieve. If Alex had to place her age, he could only guess between 18 and 30, as her appearance seemed to transcend age. 

Which likely wasn’t far from the truth, considering her race.

Piercing eyes seemed to swim with the colours of nature as they stared into his soul. Her mouth formed a frown which any man would want to fix upon the mere sight.

Her words however, quickly broke Alex from his stupor.

“So this is the first candidate? Doesn’t seem he’s destined to last long.”

Before he could even ask her what she meant his guide spoke up.

“Yet the Rites must be fulfilled, your Highness. He has drunk from the Ichor. If his fate lies in failure, than that is what he he is to face.”

“Of course he will fail, Morys. I sense neither a hint of magic nor any ancient bloodline from him. He’s a common human.” 

“That may be, but we shall have to see it through anyway. Come your Highness, complete the first Rite.”

It didn’t take long for Alex to decide he didn’t like the sound of this.

“Well human? Introduce yourself.” The Queens eye moved back to him.

“Ah, the names Alex White, your Highness.” He figured a bit of politeness wouldn’t do any harm considering the circumstances.

“Alex,” she seemed to spit the word out, “you are in the presence of Queen Amatheia of the Unseelie court, lord of the winter throne.” She paused to let the title sink in.

Alex found it hard to take her seriously after she said ‘unseelie’ with a serious face.

“Since you have partaken of the golden Ichor, the First Rite is complete. Approach, so I may bestow upon you the reward the Rite demands you receive.”

Alex warily stepped towards the throne. The wolves on either side of Amatheia growled, sitting up. Still on their backside, each stood taller than the throne they lay against. 

And they weren’t wolves, he realised but dogs.

He decided to ignore them. Whatever these Rites were, they sounded like they were going to kill him sooner than some monster dogs.

The Queen gestured for him to kneel in front of her. Having no better option, Alex did so.

Once he was on her knee she stood up in front of him, cupping his head in her hands. She leaned down and kissed his forehead.

Alex felt hot instantly. Really hot.

He stifled a scream as he fell backwards. Where her lips touched his forehead burned as if he’d been marked by a hot poker. It lasted for seconds before receding, yet Alex could still feel a hot current coursing from his forehead into his body.

“What the hell was that?”

“You don’t know of the First Rite’s gift.” Looking up at her, he realised she looked genuinely confused.

“Don’t tell me you aren’t aware of the Rites?” He could only shake his head, matching her confused expression with his own.

She looked down at him, shocked.

“Why on earth did you drink the Ichor?” 

Alex’s confusion turned to embarrassment. 

“I don’t know... I was drunk, it just kind of happened.”

“Hah, here I thought you were bold human to attempt the Rites. Turns out you were just an unlucky fool.” Amatheia’s shock quickly turned to amusement, a charming smirk forming on her face. 

“Well foolish human, you have just received the Unseelie Queen’s blessing. May it help you in your efforts to complete the next Rite,” she paused, before adding “which I suppose I will have to explain to you.”

“Ah, yes your Highness,” Alex quickly replied.

“Before the winter solstice you shall grant me a branch of Yggdrasil, as the Rite of the Gift demands.” Seeing her stare at him expectantly, he guessed it was his turn to speak.

“And what happens if I don’t?”

“That will be a breach of the Rites.” She explained promptly. Her smile seemed to grow wider.

“And what does that mean?”

“Unfortunately for you, this is the Unseelie Court. Unlike my counterparts atop their golden thrones, we only have one use for humans in the winter court. You will be eaten.” Her smile did not change as she spoke, but what Alex thought of it certainly did.

“Um, what?”

“Eaten, consumed, devoured, however you wish to put it. It’ll mostly be my subjects that share you amongst them, but i’m told tradition demands I have a piece as well. I’m also told tradition demands you be kept alive as long as possible while it happens.” 

Alex couldn’t help but think but to the swarm of fairies. Their expectant eyes, eerie smiles, it all added up now. They were looking at their food.

He found he could only reply with a nervous laugh, “Ha, what the fuck.”

The Queen amused expression quickly turned to one of disappointment 

“That’s it? That’s your reaction? No weeping, no accusing me of being the devil in disguise? I expected more of a uproar from a mortal man. I believe your kind is not fond  of those that eat humans.”

Alex found he was in a much better state to reply now.

“Hate to disappoint, your Highness, but i’m a twenty first century guy. Religion ain’t that big of a thing as it used to be. Besides, life’s a pretty big shithole these days anyway, man eating fairies are just not as scary as they used to be.

For the most part Alex was talking out of his ass. If he had to attribute it to anything, he’d guess the sheer shock of the situation delayed the majority of the emotion he should be feeling. 

It wasn’t complete bullshit though. His ex had called him a reckless, shortsighted idiot. And she was mostly right, he usually found himself worrying about problems when they were in front of him. And if he had listened correctly, nothing would happen till his deadline at the winter solstice. It was still summer right now, so that gave him half a year.

And as an added bonus, his reaction seemed to score some points with the Queen in front of him.

“Well, there might just be a spark of hope for you yet. I suppose I should give you some help, so you might just have a chance at this Rite.” She leaned down to smack one of her dogs on the back.

“Victor, go help our little candidate in his quest. When he asks of you, take him to Helga. You remember her right?” She turned back to Alex, offering him a smile.

“As are the rules, neither me nor my people can offer you aid. However, I shall allow my Barghest shall accompany you. If you decide to struggle against your inevitable fate, ask him to bring you to Helga. If your lucky she may just give you a push in the right direction. Then again, she could just kill you.

Alex was less than happy to see the cow sized dog wander up to him. Victor’s glowing red eyes seemed to consider whether he should ignore his queens order and just eat the snack in front of it. 

To Alex’s relief, the beast instead choose to sit beside him, briefly sniffing his clothes before lying to his right.

Thinking it over, having the beast on his side was actually pretty comforting. If Yggdrasil was what he remembered, he didn’t like his chances of finding a branch alone.

“Well, that should be all. I’ll be seeing you in half a year I suppose. Let us hope you have a gift for me by then.” He interrupted her as she raised her hand to dismiss him.

“Wait, what happens if I complete these Rites.”

“Oh, I suppose you wouldn’t know that, would you? Should the Rites be complete, the wedding would naturally follow. Why else would one complete the Wedding Rites?”

“Wedding?” It was not the answer Alex expected. To be fair he didn’t know what to expect. 

Maybe a legendary sword?

“Of course. Should the Rites be complete you would be crowned the King of the winter throne, my own husband.” 

Looking at her predatory smile, Alex still couldn’t help but think it wasn’t that bad of a reward. 

Even with the very real possibility of being eaten by a horde of ravenous winged midgets. Transcendent beauty had that effect on a man.

“Morys, see our candidate out,” she hesitated, before adding another word. 

“Safely.”

The journey back was just as, if not more, frightening than it had been coming in. The little bastards following him looked a lot more threatening.

At least Alex knew he wasn’t likely to die to these creatures for half a year. 

That didn’t mean he could just ignore the hungry gazes however. Surprisingly, a couple even flew down to offer him some fruit.

“I wouldn’t recommend taking it.” The kindly elf, Morys, spoke up as he shooed the fairies away.

“Why?” He couldn’t resist asking, knowing he wasn’t going to like the answer.

“Outsiders who eat the produce of the land will find they themselves unable to leave it. Naturally, the Rites will remain incomplete if such were to occur.” Morys paused to look back at Alex, revealing the strange smile on his face.

“To be honest, I find it somewhat surprising her Majesty asked me to guide you back. It seems you may not be the only one who wishes for your success in these matters.”

“Well thanks I guess. You can tell her that, too.” 

Accompanied by Victor and Marys, Alex did feel a bit safer walking the forest trail. Finally they arrived at the mushroom circle he had wandered into before this whole mess started. He noticed the stump was now void of any Ichor. 

He guessed that meant the Rites were his to go at alone. At least while he still lived.

“This is where we part ways, Mr White. To leave our kingdom simply place your hands on the stump. The method is quite easy to figure out.”

“Wait, what do I do about Victor?” Alex gestured at the monstrous dog that kept at his heel. “I don’t know if you’ve seen the world these days, but he’s hardly a common breed.”

Marys answered, “To the common man, the Mist will give Victor the appearance of a smaller sort of dog. A doberman is the norm, I hear. If you wish to hide him from the not so common man, simply ask him. You’ll find Victor is much more intelligent than his lesser cousins. Ah, and I strongly suggest you follow my Mistresses’ advice in seeking Helga. I assure you, the chance in her killing you is much less than her Majesty made it sound.” 

Without waiting for Alex to voice his numerous questions, the elf turned back towards the forest trail. 

Seeing no other decent option, Alex helplessly approached the dead stump. 

He placed his hands on it. Immediately he felt a familiar pulse of warmth flowing through his veins. It seemed to wish to travel towards his hands. 

Ignoring the novelty of the experience, Alex gave it a mental push towards his hands and consequently the stump. Without hesitation it rushed out. 

The wood began to glow, proving to Alex the whole experience hadn’t just been him hallucinating. And then he was back in familiar territory. 

The black beast remained at his heel.

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