The mess hall was not its usual upbeat warm area of camaraderie. It was quiet, gloomy and filled with a sense of dread. On the table was a rough sketch of the local area, with pieces of bread, donut chunks and sugar cubes in place of foes.
“They are going to come in with a frontal rush, come over the walls, overrun us and while we are busy, come in with the pincer attack,” Sten said, using a finger to slide the advancing attackers towards our walls. He picked up the chocolate glazed donut that represented our dungeon and took a bite. “Hmm, I think I understand Rolada’s fascination with chocolate.”
“Anything on your detect life power, Josh?” Roalda asked.
Lair Action : Detect creatures in region
Small creatures 20
- Field Mouse 5
- Fish 2
…
Medium creatures 5
- Beastkin 2
…
Large creature 1
-Ogre 1
“Nothing, there’s barely any animals. What if it's not for a few days and Icharn was trying to spook me?” I asked.
“God’s can work in strange ways but you should always assume the worst if they're trying to directly talk to you,” Burn mumbled between sips of coffee. “God’s above and below my head is killing me. Why did I listen to you last night boss?”
“Me?” I asked.
“You challenged everyone to shots,” Yara said stiffly. She sniffed at the white glazing on the donut and looked at it skeptically.
She tossed it back into the box of donuts and it was snatched up by Rolada. The fox shoved half of it into her mouth and nibbled on it. The sticky sugar collected at the corners of her lips and Lin used a cloth to clean her off.
“Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t prepare,” Lin said.
The demoness sank lower in her chair and I saw a flash of white as she took a bite out of one of the white sticks she always had. Yara was wrapped up in a thick coat and looked at the map grimly.
“Our defences are poor,” Yara said.
She turned the clay heater she brought towards herself and it turned off. Behind her was Scott who had the tendril from the crystal in hand and let it go, sending it back into the wall. By the time Yara had turned around he was gone, hidden behind the counter in the kitchen.
Scott the Scout has sworn revenge!
Quest : Incomplete
Sub task - Annoy foe : Partially complete
I reached a hand towards the wall and a tendril came out. It slithered towards us and I picked it up, feeling the odd rubbery texture in my hand. It was like a squishy extension cord, if that cord was part of a sentient magical crystal that had questionable loyalty. I plugged it back into Yara’s heater and it sprang to life, warming up the annoyed demoness.
“Any suggestions to improve our chances?” I asked the team.
“Yeah, ditch the nice amenities we have and turn this place into a fortress. Trap every inch of every hall and when the zombies run in they can be turned into a paste,” Sten said.
“I’m with the dwarf on this one,” Yara said. In a quiet voice only the more perceptive of us could pick up, she muttered under her breath. “Goodbye comfy bed.”
“Merp!”
The minions sat at their smaller table and took out stacks of papers. In their hands they clutched pieces of charcoal and were in the midst of their own conversation. I could spy drawings of hallways, spike traps, falling rocks and more.
“I think Dan and the boys have a plan for that. The better question is what should we do?” I asked.
“Sleep,” groaned Burn.
The sharp popping of a joint shook our sleepy goblin awake. Bent Plate twisted his whole body and held out his arms. After holding the pose he twisted the other way and set off a series of rapid pops that could be mistaken for gunfire. The ogre let out a mighty sigh and grinned. “We eat, we stretch and we smash some bones.”
The plan ended up being pretty simple, Bent Plate and Sten would be the front line to keep the foes back. Burn and I would throw spells and bottles at any tougher enemies and when the big bad evil guys showed up Yara would kick their ass. However the representation of our plan was quickly devoured by a very energetic fox girl that was now vibrating in her seat from a sugar overload.
“I’ll loot and make sure no good treasure gets hurt,” Lin said. She leaned back the chair, placed her feet on the table and downed the rest of her coffee. “I’m pretty much untouchable.”
Yara scoffed. “Yeah not all of us can be lucky and get a free hand out.”
“It was a gift!” Lin protested. “I expected Josh to pay me back at some point for taking him under my wing, but not like this.” Lin looked at her hands and curled them around to look at her nails. “It’s too much…”
Rolada shot up in her seat, spilling a fist full of donut crumbs all over the table. “I call the next divine talent Josh gets!”
“They don’t grow on trees,” I said. I shook my head and shrugged. “I guess if another one drops onto my lap I can think about who needs it-”
A hand gripped my shoulder and a spark coursed through my magical veins. I could see Yara’s scowl in the corner of my eye. A drop of my stamina was robbed from me and I felt the weight of the ring of binding on my finger as she made her presence known.
“Okay, maybe we can take a vote,” I whispered.
“You take the next one for yourself,” Yara scolded. “That talent would have made my life easier.”
Lin looked in her empty cup and then towards the rubbish bin in the corner of the room. She looked back at the map and tossed the cup over her shoulder without looking. One of her fluffy ears twisted towards the bin, and the sound of the cup hitting the bottom of the bin travelled towards us.
“Seriously Lin, showing off already?” I asked. I gestured a hand to the map and tried to hide my smile. “I expect you to use it for fights, not fun party tricks.”
Lin’s feline smirk was the widest I had ever seen. Our white haired cat girl looked like she thought she could take on the world. When her eyes met mine I felt a warm friendly glow in my chest. Lin stuck out the tip of her tongue and bit into the last bit of her donut.
Sten and Bent were trying to arm wrestle at the end of the table for the final half of a donut and I felt my perception shift. The world seemed to move away from me and the hairs on my arms rose.
Lair Action : Detect creatures in region
Small creatures 20
- Field Mouse 5
- Fish 2
…
Medium creatures 10
…
Large creature 2
…
I blinked and watched a new line appear.
Undead detected
50…
“Uh guys,” I said.
Undead detected
150…
“Josh, what is it?” Lin asked.
“The lad looks like he’s seen a ghost,” Sten said, shaking his arm out.
“Don’t fake being sick to get out of the warm up,” Bent Plate said, shaking his sugary donut at me.
Undead detected
500…
“I think they're here,” I said.
…
“Take this boss,” Burn said as he tossed me a bandolier. The tiny pouches were filled with squishy grey balls and one was filled with strings. “Roalda and I made you a competent pouch, hope it helps.”
I turned it over in my hands and lifted my cloak. The stiff winter wind washed over me and I huddled between two of the houses to block it. The overcast sky promised snow or freezing rain and I couldn’t help but constantly check over my shoulder to look at the forest.
“Thanks guys,” I said, and buckled it onto my chest. I sniffed at one of the balls, it was the size of my thumb nail and smelled of rubbing alcohol and mint. “What are these?”
“Burn, are you insane?” Yara snapped as she came into view buckling on her gauntlet.
Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.
“What? Josh has enough constitution he can use one or two. I think,” Burn said.
Knowledge World : Success!
Typically called ‘Wake Up’ or ‘Go Berries” by thugs, gladiators and apprentice wizards, these alchemically infused drugs are powerful stimulants. They offer a temporary boost to stamina and can cure the effects of mana blight. After excessive use the user must succeed at a constitution check or they will lose consciousness.
“Helpful little things,” I said and tucked it back into a pouch.
“Take too many and your heart might explode,” Yara said.
“That’s a lie,” Rolada said as she hid inside her stag hare coat. “I used them during exam time and ended up fine.”
“Is that why I always found you passed out on the exam hall couch?” Sten asked.
“Hey, I still scored top marks,” Rolada huffed.
I patted the pocket with the Go Berries and kept it in the back of my mind. It would be a helpful boon in an emergency, I could throw out as many spells as I could, pop a berry, take mana from the crystal and do it all again. If it did have a chance to knock me out it meant it would be a last ditch desperate action to take if the worst happened.
A string of flying work orders crossed the corner of my vision. Dan and Mason were going wild with setting up false tunnels, routes and traps to slow down our foes. I also added in for them to make an escape route to the keeper pool in case things went south.
I bit my lip and tried to hide my worry. My dreams of a safe, defendable township was starting to dry up. This was the first real test, and I prayed we were ready. My hand drifted down to my new sword, and I rested my hand on the pommel. The leather wrapped grip gave me an ounce of comfort. I’d be damned if I didn’t at least give this all a shot.
“Alright everyone, we kick these shambling coffin dancers in the teeth, get rid of the pests that Lin and Josh woke and relax tonight with some poetry reading,” Sten said as he joined us by the wall.
“Maybe you two set it off,” Lin said.
“Which one of us made a huge explosion?” Sten asked.
Lin leered at him. “Maybe we can go back later and investigate to check.”
“What if…we don’t win?” I asked, bringing them back into the moment. I shifted from foot to foot anxiously. “Damn it, are all sieges like this? I’m on edge, and at this rate I’ll be tired out before the battle even starts.”
“Eh, won’t happen, you got us lad,” Sten said as he slapped me in the back, almost knocking me over. “Just stay limber, you got this.”
“Seriously, if things go wrong, I’ll grab the crystal and we'll run,” I said.
Yara stamped the end of her halberd into the frozen street and huffed out a cloud of blood red mist. “Josh, quit saying that. Just use your head and keep behind me.”
Yara wore no less than 3 cloaks now and an amulet I didn’t recognize. I did see Igni letters etched onto it and felt a warm air waft off her armour. When Yara noticed me looking she tucked the amulet under her armour and shuffled closer to me.
“What?” she asked.
“Fire amulet?” I looked at her shivering form and put the pieces back together. “Not a fan of the cold?”
“I was stationed at one of the lower plane forts, where it's hot, pretty much hot enough to cook eggs on the rocks. Not to mention I trained in Avonna,” Yara cursed into her cloak and kicked at the nearest snow bank. “I hate snow. It has to be three times colder than the night we fought the wight.”
The forest ahead of us shifted, not because of wind, but because of what was below their branches. A shuffling mass of beige bone, tattered clothes and grasping hands. Hundreds upon hundreds of shuffling skeletons, salivating zombies and undead forest animals slowly pushed onwards as a single mass towards the edge of the tree line. Yet I didn’t see the wight captain and his cold magic, or the flaming sword of the big nasty knight.
Rolada tugged at my sleeve and pointed to the sky. I followed the line of her finger and the colour drained from my face.
Lair Action : Detect creatures in region
…
Flying Boar 30
Gnomes 30
…
“Shit,” Yara managed to utter before we all flatted ourselves against the wall.
A wave of arrows, slings and bolts of lightning impacted the ground behind us. Roof tiles crashed onto the paved street, snow was thrown into the air and shadows flew over us. A line formation of boar with flapping geese wings swooped low over the tops of the houses. Their wild riders hooted and hollered as they waved their caps in the air. The gnomes shouted out a string of curses between spell casts as they banked into a turn to come back towards us.
“Produce Fire!” I shouted, stepping out of cover. The orb of fire was hastily aimed and as it arced towards the lead flyer, the big, greasy, bristly boar panicked and crashed into the closest rider. As the formation broke and boars began falling from the sky I shouted. “Scatter!”
Rolada and I dove into the nearest house, one of the repaired buildings that was little more than an empty shell. The cries of crushed gnomes came down from the roof as did the furious squeals of the boars that trampled them and punched a hole in the roof. The low ceiling was a curse as the sharp hoof was too close for comfort. I unsheathed my new sword and hacked it off.
The boar above spasmed, bringing its stump back up and flew off. Through the open hole I saw the gnome fail to hold onto the rough saddle and cartwheel through the air, landing on the roof with a crunch.
“Are you hurt?” I asked a pale Rolada.
“I’m good, I’m good,” she said nervously, shaking in her boots. Her eyes were distant as she held her ears down on her head trying to cut out the sound of combat.
“Rolada,” I used my free hand to give her a gentle hug. “You're safe, remember if something goes wrong you get teleported away and get to drink cocktails on the beach with your mom.”
“Y-yeah, you're right,” Rolada said as she visibly relaxed. She stood up straight, and balled her hands into fists. “I need to help as much as I can.”
I kicked open the door and we came out to a pitched battle. Dead boars were scattered on the street with dead gnomes buried under them or dead on roof tops. A gnome with a broken arm jumped out of the nearest snowbank with a dagger, at the sight of him Rolada screamed and kicked him straight in the face.
The gnome crashed into the side of our hiding space and spat out a wad of blood. He growled and flipped her off. “Damn bit-”
“Produce Fire!” Rolada yelled and threw the orb right at the gnome, reducing him to a pile of cinders. She kicked snow at his remains and spat at it. “I’m starting to hate gnomes.”
A burnt boar chased Burn down a street as Sten was holding on for dear life on its back, holding onto the tusks and headbutting it. Bent walked around the corner slapping off a horde of gnomes off himself as the tiny evil forest men climbed up him, jabbing him with daggers, trying to find a weak point.
I ran to help our ogre friend and I heard Rolada behind me. I scooped up a fallen brick off the ground and threw it, knocking off a gnome. I ran full tilt at Bent and crashed into his side with my shoulder, crushing two gnomes beneath my tackle. Bent not knowing it was me, swung out an arm and shoved me back, sending me through a snowbank.
“Hey gnomes!” Rolada shouted. When the gnomes took their attention off Bent she threw out her hands towards them. “Pink sparkles!”
Bright bursts of pink light sprung from her nails and blinded the gnomes. As the fireworks display ended she came out of the smoke cloud with a frying pan and slapped aside a handful of gnomes. With the crawling critters stunned, distracted or confused Bent had the opening he needed to freely swat at himself like I would at mosquitoes.
Dead gnomes fell to the ground and I crawled out of the snowbank. Bent spun around with an open hand raised towards me, but when he noticed it was me the scowl vanished off his face.
“Josh, again I found you on the ground,” Bent shook his head and helped me back up. After dusting me off he put a hand to his ear and took off towards the sound of Burn calling for help. The ogre shouted back to us as he rounded a corner “Get a talent to stay on your feet!”
“The undead, where are they?” I asked.
Rolada crawled up a mound of broken wall and peered over the roof. Her eyes went wide and she uttered a very unladylike string of curses. “Coming in fast.”
I sprinted to the wall and saw a short distance away was the faster zombies running towards me with teeth bared, hands swinging behind themselves as they kicked up snow, slush and ice.
I looked at the ground leading up towards the wall and thought hard. I had lair actions, I was a wizard in his territory, I had to have something in my toolbox to help. As I leered at the ground, I saw the glowing lines of the tendrils burrow all around the perimeter of the wall and I felt a connection to the crystal.
“Come on you bastard, do something helpful,” I mumbled and tried to think of anything. An idea came to my mind, if the crystal could burrow the tendrils through the walls and dirt underground, might it be able to dig a pit for us? I focused as hard as I could and shouted to the sky. “Give me a moat!”
The tendrils underneath the wall surged up, churning the earth and pulling the ground away just as the zombies leapt towards me. They misjudged the distance, crashing into the brick wall, breaking off teeth, nails and jaws. The few that managed to hold on cracks in the wall lost their grip as I slammed the pommel of my blade onto their hands. They fell with the others into the deep moat that suddenly appeared and snapped their maws at me. My victory was short lived and they began clawing their way up.
Lair Action : Churn Earth
The zombies froze as the ground rumbled below them, and slid down towards the bottom of the moat. The zombies looked down and the rocks under them started to shift, and churned end over end. The rapid motion caught one of their legs and pulled it down, chewing it up into a fine red paste like it was caught in a wood chipper.
The zombies ran for the lip of the moat towards the forest, trying desperately to retreat. The rock blender ended up doing a fantastic job turning the swift squad of zombies into free experience. I glanced down to see the limit of our foes.
Lair Action : Detect creatures in region
Undead 450
Flying Boar 10
Gnomes 8
Already we were chipping away at our foes, but now they were smartening up. The gnomes flew solo, spreading themselves out and peppering the ground with their ranged attacks. We were limited at range and I wished I had some kind of crossbow or other weapon with reach so I didn’t have to burn mana. I did see Yara in the remains of the observation platform scoring hits with her crossbow, but she was one woman, and her weapon took a while to reload.
Carter has crafted an experimental siege weapon!
“...What?” I asked, and looked around for my team.
A flash of black pants and a white tail ran up a building, kicked off and arced in the air. As Lin was half way through her back flip, she threw a gnomish spear at a flying boar passing her. The boar squealed in pain as did its rider as the gnome was skewered onto the boar’s wing, the spear lancing him right through the heart. The flying boar crashed into the ground ahead of me, kicking up road stones and sliding to a halt, dead.
“Of for the love of…now she really is showing off,” I huffed as I ran towards cover laughing to myself.
“Merp!” a sharp yelp came out from the storage building, and I ran towards it. Carter and Scott wheeled out a bundle of wood, rope and metal. Behind them was a train of other minions carrying stacks of the strange stalks Sten had shown off the other day. These ones were capped with flint or crude metal arrowheads.
The minions threw down the makeshift arrows, and ran back down below as a string of new orders appeared for more traps to be made, tunnels to be dug and rooms to be hidden. I scooped up the arrows, wincing as spikes in the shafts dug into my arms.
“What is this thing?” I asked as I followed the minions wheeling the contraption outside. The wild look they gave me with their teeth showing as they smiled unsettled me. “That’s certainly reassuring…”
They rolled it into the open space beside the water pump shack and smacked the side of it. Four wooden arms came off the side with spikes at the end, digging into the ice and planting itself squarely onto the ground. A tiny minion sized chair with levers bolted to it folded down off the side, and a crank arm within easy reach swung out.
Carter took arrows from me and slotted it into a flat piece of wood angled towards the core of the contraption. At the end I saw curved pieces of iron and rope, and then it clicked with me. The ends were crossbows, the slot fed into them, and the crank twisted them along. They had created a medieval gatling gun.
Carter pointed at me, the arrows, the siege weapon and then ran off to the dungeon. Scott jumped into the chair, pulled a lever beside him and swivelled the weapon to aim at the sky. Boars crossed us overhead, and I could see shapes move in the houses as my allies fought fallen foes or hid from spells from above.
“Waaaaaagh!” cried Scott as he grabbed the crank, turning it to spool up the weapon.
The siege weapon shuddered, wood groaning as reinforcing strips of metal struggled to hold it together. Yet when the crossbows reached the top and were in line with the v-notch sights built in for aiming it, an arrow sped out towards the sky. Following it was a stream of shots, spreading out and forcing the flying boars to take evasion action.
“Am-mo!” Scott yelled and kicked me.
I dove towards the fallen bundles of arrows and shoved them into the feeding slot as Scott all hell let loose. The hungry siege weapon devoured our ammo as Scott was quick on the trigger to lay down suppressive fire. As quickly as I could shove them in, Scott fired them, scoring only a handful of hits.
I chanced a look towards the wall and saw the skeletons had gathered at the edge of the moat, and behind them the wight captain with his sword drawn was ordering them around. As he moved around the edge of the horde I gulped, he was seated on the back of a massive, growling, shaggy furred undead bear.
The wight rose on the bear, and threw his arms out to his sides. He hollered towards me, his voice filled with joyful blood lust. “Hey cheater, I’m backkk!”