“...just trust your big sister!”
I woke up with my heart pounding and winced immediately. My head hurt, my arm hurt like I slept on it and my chest felt like I had been shot. Wait, I had been shot?
I looked down to see I was on my apartment’s couch, and under my loose shirt was a thick wad of bandages wrapped around my chest. I had been sleeping on my side and tucked along me was a stuffed animal. It was a black snake with wings, and shimmering scales like it was on fire. I looked over to the tv to see some anime was running, and on screen was a white haired cat girl.
On the coffee table were three empty cans of beer and a bottle of pills. I checked the bottle and saw it was a rather strong painkiller, and I clutched at my chest feeling a terrible constant throb of pain. Instantly my mind went to the painkiller, to numb the feeling, but something felt off, so I decided to just deal with it.
I tried to get up and fell on my left side, feeling a sharp pain that made tears form at the corners of my eyes. My left arm was in a sling and I had to roll on my other side to prop myself up with my right arm. I was a bit wobbly at first, but made my way to the washroom.
In the mirror I saw myself, I looked haggard, tired and had multiple cuts on my face like I had nose dived into glass. There were stitches around my lip and the sight was ghastly, but on closer inspection I could see the wounds were healing nicely. I felt nature's call and did my business, and washed up after, including my face to be on the safe side.
“Health check!” a man called from my front door. I heard him jiggle the lock and use a key. “Just letting myself in Mr. Hale.”
I went back to the kitchen to find a fully uniformed police officer with a box of donuts, a box of coffee and a stack of cups. The officer whistled a happy tune and set it down on the kitchen counter, helped himself to a cup, and made a second one. When he turned around I saw a large salt and pepper broom over his smile that took me by surprise.
“Morning Mr. Hale, I got bad news I’m afraid. But good news first, the coffee is hot,” he said cheerfully.
The man struck me as a guy in his last few months of work before retirement, the cool laid back kind of cop that pulled you over for speeding and would let you off with a warning if you were nice. That was the kind of cop you wanted to meet in a small town because he was the kind of person that was friendly with everyone.
I accepted the red cup with white lettering and noticed it had two cream and sugar, just the way I liked it. The scent of roasted beans took me back to Halloween night, when I had two of these when I was at Paul’s shop.
“Paul!” I exclaimed, nearly dropping the cup. “Is he-”
“Mr. Hale, Paul is fine.” the officer said sternly, holding out his hand to me. “It's me, Officer Stone.”
I felt dizzy, like the whole world was spinning and Officer Stone helped guide me to the table where a board game was set up. After he took a seat I could see the game was in swing, and character sheets were set up all around the table. It looked like a usual dungeon crawler, but instead, the heroes were inside the dungeon defending it against a horde of attacking undead.
“What’s this guy's name again?” Officer Stone asked, picking up a dwarf miniature, “Sten right?”
“Yeah, Sten. He’s a poet,” I said. I narrowed my vision and felt confused. “How do I know that?”
“It’s part of that book you're writing, and you use the game to help you focus. This cat girl, she's like the one playing on your screen over there, Linetta.” Officer Stone said, tapping a white haired cat girl holding a pair of daggers.
“She goes by Lin, I didn’t know her name was Linetta,” I said, but felt like I had just told a lie. I looked around at all the characters and their pages and mumbled. “I made these?”
“To help you focus, after the incident,” Officer Stone said in a warm fatherly tone. “You got hurt pretty bad after fighting off the gunmen Josh. Drink some coffee and I’ll share the news.”
I sipped at the hot brew and looked around to see the massive mess I apparently had made. I saw leading the horde was a skeleton in rusted armour with his sword held high, while across the table at the other end was a man surrounded by animals. I looked at the huge stack of notes beside me and flipped through them seeing someone had been writing a book. A book about me.
“Hit me,” I said to Officer Stone, straightening my back and giving him my strongest look. “I can take it.”
Officer Stone chuckled and took a long drink, his moustache expertly avoiding the hot coffee. “After you clobbered the leader of the gang his underlings grabbed what they had and gave you a good thrashing. We’ve looked everywhere this month but they are nowhere to be found. We got a few eyewitness statements and found matches, so now every border patrol officer and police station from coast to coast has their faces plastered on the walls.”
I lifted my arm and tapped the cast. “That explains that.”
“Also the jewellery you returned turned out to come from a very wealthy lady up in the city and she…” Officer Stone trailed off and waved a hand around the room.
I blinked twice and the information sprang up to my mind. “She gave me a reward to cover rent while I recovered. Dan even still has me as a manager on salary and I still got insurance for the pills.”
“See,” Officer Stone said, raising his coffee cup. “Told you this stuff works miracles.”
The puzzle pieces clicked together, and I absently sipped at my coffee while a month of events flooded my mind. I had been plenty bored and the strong painkillers had let my imagination run crazy. I had been writing stuff down to keep myself from getting cabin fever.
“And you drop by to check on me,” I said, and gave the man a curious look. “As a way to get out of doing paperwork for an hour.”
“Guilty as charged. Listen when you have been in the force as long as I have, you learn to enjoy sitting down with the local hero,” Office Stone said. He sighed happily as he drained the rest of his coffee. “Girl down at the shop does a good job-”
“Guy,” I said, cutting him off. “He’s the store owner's son and he’s working there till he can go to college next year.”
“Mr. Hale,” Officer Stone said in a cold tone. “Let’s not get worked up, there's a new girl there-”
“Rolada’s hair is red, not pink,” I said, pointing at the miniature. I practically stuck my nose into the midst of the figures and started to notice things that were off. “Yara has a black ring around her finger but my mini doesn’t.”
Officer Stone huffed, “Mr. Hale, sit down!”
“What’s my favourite donut!” I shouted at the police officer.
Officer Stone froze for a brief second. His eyes glazed over and they became glossy black pools that reflected my face. An unscarred face of a man in a cloak with determination in his eyes. There was a hiss in my ear, with words I couldn’t make out and I tasted ash in the back of my throat. Then everything returned to normal and a bored older man looked at me with his own hazel eyes. He scratched at the back of his head and shrugged.
“I kind of forgot, so I got us a dozen so you could pick yours,” he said apologetically.
I knew in my heart something was off and I instinctively flexed my fingers. It was a subconscious effort, the thing I usually did before channelling my magic and bringing fire to life. Wait, magic? For only a moment I felt heat radiate from my hand and extend all the way through my body. The dull pain in my chest subsided, and I felt my left arm flex like it was perfectly fine.
“What game is this?” I asked coldly.
Officer Stone removed his cap and puffed his cheeks up. He slowly exhaled and deflated like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. I saw the image of the police officer change and sitting in his place was the strange god I was becoming accustomed to. Icharn.
“I really thought I had you here,” he said in Officer Stone’s voice. “Hope you don’t mind me sticking in disguise, trying to avoid some responsibilities.”
I sat back down and looked over the table again, perhaps he was warning me. “Fancy yourself a chat?”
“You are rather interesting, and the sage you saved prayed for your well being so let's call this a courtesy visit,” Icharn said.
“Glad to hear he got home safely,” I said.
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
Icharn took out a deck of cards and began to shuffle them. He was quite impressive at it, flicking them around and cutting the deck at a practiced pace. He eventually settled and drew one, flicking it around to show me its face. It was me, asleep on the couch and over my head were the words ‘the dreamer’.
“You can wake up here for real if you want. Yara will know the connection is severed and the group of them will probably head to Wyrmbreath to look for Rodney to try and find you with his diviners. When that fails they can go their separate ways and live their lives,” Icharn said.
“Why are you trying to get me to leave Ewyernar?” I asked.
Icharn looked lost, and picked up the crystal from the middle of the board. “You know that feeling when you read a story and grow attached to one of the characters? So you want to see them have a happy ending and skip ahead to see what happens? And when you find out that they will suffer a terrible fate you put down the book to delay the impending doom. Hoping that, if you just don’t continue reading it, they will forever live that happy life?”
A cold chill went up my spine and I had to wet my throat with more coffee to rid it of its dryness. It took me a minute to summon the courage to speak. “Am I going to die from this horde?”
“Nothing is set in stone, but if I had to take bets on your chances…not good,” Icharn said. He glanced at the table and frowned. “There are too many gods involved with this one, too many pulling strings. You're in a contentious area, and everyone wants their influence.”
I looked at the coming wave, and my vision seemed to shift, the dark colours becoming blacker, the brighter colours getting washed out. I was like a flying bird, soaring over a tree line while hundreds of shambling corpses marching underneath me. When my presence was noticed something screamed out, and Icharn placed a hand on my shoulder bringing me back out of it.
“Well, I guess I had a good run. Send me back,” I said.
“What?” Icharn asked, looking between me and the board. “You want to go back?”
“I need to warn the others. The undead are marching along the river and that's the way to Wyrmbreath. If they go on their own they will get ambushed,” I said. “So send me back.”
Icharn stared at me like I had three heads, and I even checked to make sure I was still just me. The god in his disguise sat back down and looked impressed. He shuffled his deck again and hummed the same tune he had walked in with, a wordless song that struck a chord with my very soul.
“I’ve been in this game for a long time, Joshua Hale, and I must say you might be the most unique keeper yet. Instead of searching for power for yourself you look out for others. You welcome newcomers with open arms and ensure the comfort of your fellows. You even treat them as equals while you have the potential to grow far beyond them all,” the god’s voice grabbed my attention and the whole world dimmed.
“Come on, I’m not that special,” I said.
“You're right, you're just a man. A man like most others, but a man I like. So let’s change up the formula, I offer you power in exchange for a future service. An easy to do service,” Icharn said.
“What, like a freebie?” I asked.
“Sure, call it what you like. A random buff from this deck and before the winter is done I need you to get me a book from a ruin. It’s not too far from your home base, so if you survive feel free to patch yourself up before going out,” Icharn said. He slid over a local map and took out an ancient looking quill. “Should be right around here, half a day away down the river.”
“Super dangerous?” I asked.
“Mild danger, Linetta should be able to carry you through it,” Icharn whispered. “Should be a fun date night for you two.”
I leaned back in the chair and sipped the last drops of coffee. I assumed I would never get to taste it again, but maybe I was lucky and there were coffee beans in Ewyernar too. I could always start my own brand.
“Hit me,” I said and held out my hand.
Without looking, Icharn slapped the deck into my palm and I drew the top card. I returned the rest of the deck to him, and a voice in the back of my head scoffed. If I learned how to steal from Lin maybe I could have snagged us a few extra powers. Ah well, I rather play nice with the strange god.
“You would need a really high sleight of hand to beat the perception of a god,” Icharn said.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I said. I flipped around the card and checked it over. “Well damn.”
Heinekia’s Divine Luck
Legendary Talent
Creatures blessed by the very gods themselves are the lucky few to have a legendary talent. This talent cannot be learned or shared by normal means, and is a secret talent that can only be detected by a god or god-like being.
With a healthy dose of luck the creature with this talent is able to evade attacks and reduce them to mere grazes or even misses.
Creatures with this talent also gain a plus 10 bonus to all saves against magical effects and spells. The creature also gains a plus 5 bonus to all skill checks that involve luck.
Should a lethal blow land on the creature it will be turned at the last moment by a stroke of “pure luck” allowing the creature to live. This effect can occur up to nine times in one year, and recharges during Heinekia’s winter festival at midnight.
“Now that is a good one,” Icharn commented over my shoulder.
“Dude,” I said, pushing the god away from me. “Personal space.”
On the card presented was an image of a golden haired cat girl, dressed in light armour and dancing between foes. The card was like a living painting and I watched her move through many adventures. A mighty lich had cackling bolts of lightning leap from his fingers and miss the girl, while a dragon swooped in from the side only to collide with a falling rock at the last moment. The girl continued to adventure in front of me and I felt like I was watching an entire season of a show flash through my mind.
“Should let you live through this horde, and deal with your more interesting upcoming threats,” Icharn said.
It was a godsend, literally. It felt like I had just found a cheat code to a video game and was about to slap it on my character page when a new train of thought stopped me. I looked at our small humble team and at the approaching horde.
Yara was a badass woman and had proven that hordes of undead only slowed her down. Bent could wade through them with ease and Burn would be safe on his shoulder. Next up was my fluffy red darling. I had already set up an emergency save button with her mom, so if anything happened to Rolada, she would be whisked away to safety. I had little concern for Sten, he would probably just see it as a fun afternoon. I remembered how last time Sten was battered and bruised he seemed to heal out of nowhere, jump up and head right back into battle.
Which left Lin and myself. I had the minions, I had my new lair powers and I had my friends. I remembered every battle and how people were quick to my side when I was throwing out spells, but Lin, Lin was usually fighting on her own. I had no doubts in my mind Lin could hold her own, but in the long drawn out fight we were about to have, I worried a lot.
What would I do with myself if she was hurt? She was the first friend I had made in this world and had shepherded me around to help me level up. Sure she liked to make fun of me, but as I thought back to all the places we had gone or been to, I couldn’t help but smile like an idiot. I think I was starting to come to terms with the fact I had a soft spot in my heart for the fun cat girl that only she could fill. Besides, what would I do without my cuddle buddy?
Without another moment of hesitation I slapped the divine talent card onto Lin’s character page and watched the card vanish in a brilliant flash of light. On Lin’s talent list appeared a new entry.
Lin has gained Heinekia’s Divine Luck.
Icharn wearing the guise of Office Stone was speechless, his mouth hung open and I could swear I heard a dial up noise come from somewhere. The god looked at my hand and then Lin’s character sheet as if to make sure that was my intention.
“I’ll still do the quest,” I said.
Icharn was still trying to reboot and I heard him whisper. “That talent is worth like a hundred skill points.”
“Now it’s Lin’s,” I said in a matter of fact tone.
Angry hissing and clicking in an alien language erupted from Officer Stone’s radio and Icharn clamped down on it. He furiously shouted back and waved his free hand at Lin’s character page. A voice cut through the rest, a woman whose soft tones lulled me into a sense of pure peace. When Icharn was done shouting he jumped up, went to the kitchen and took a double chocolate donut.
“Duty calls. As always Joshua Hale, you always have me guessing what weird thing you will do next,” Icharn said.
“Icharn you dick” I said, holding the door open. “Those are my favourite.”
Office Stone bit into the donut and walked past me, tipping his cap. “I know. Try not to get killed out there, I want that book before spring.”
“See you around, but next time give me some warning!” I shouted as I waved goodbye. I turned around to see the stuffed snake was now on the game board, with my figurine and the armoured skeletal knight facing off. “What the-”
…
I was shaken away and opened my eyes to see a bright eyed fox girl. I sat up in bed and saw Lin was at my other side. She was in a state of shock and looked at her own trembling hands.
Rolada was bouncing on the bed as she could barely contain her joy. She dragged the three of us into a group hug.
“Heinekia heard Lin’s prayer over dinner and gave her a talent!” Roalda exclaimed. “She told me all about it, and it's amazing!”
“I..I don’t think it was her,” Lin said in a daze. “I had a nightmare, where I was playing cards and was short a card in my hand. My old crew was about to draw their knives but Josh walked over and put the winning card in my hand.”
Lin looked at me with a questioning gaze and Rolada leaned in slowly from the side. The two of them would pester me at no end to find out the truth, so I told them everything.
“You fucking idiot!” Lin screamed. “You gave me a divine talent instead of yourself?”
“Oh my goddess,” Rolada mouthed. “He loves you so much he didn’t ever want to see you get hurt.”
Lin slugged me in the shoulder and I winced in pain. Despite my new rank in toughness I felt like she had just swung a hammer at me. I was about to protest the rough treatment as Lin closed the gap between us and planted a kiss right on my lips.
“You didn’t have to do that for my sake,” Lin whispered.
I pulled Lin in the tightest hug I could. “Well it’s not free, you need to keep saving me. Also I need your help in some ruins.”
Lin squeezed me tightly and nipped me to make me yell out in pain. “Idiot, I knew there was a catch.”
“What’s this stuff?” Roalda asked, leaning over the bed and grabbing something on the ground. She returned holding up the box of donuts and the coffee cups. “It smells wonderful.”
“Icharn, you beautiful bastard. You might just be alright after all,” I chuckled.
Icharn has received your prayer.