Chapter 16 – Light that Pierces the Darkness

Since he couldn’t really go at his max speed, Aenon ran at a brisk pace with the kid cheering wildly. The looks he got along the way to the city gate were ones of confusion and shock, but Aenon ignored them all. The important thing was that the kid was having fun. He didn’t slow down or stop as he went past the gate either, the guards making way once they saw who was approaching. Once he was a decent distance out of the city he put her down slowly and kneeled before her.

“Awww, I wanted to go further,” Bella said in a pleading tone.

“Oh, we are going much further than this. But we need to go faster to reach it in time. You up for a wolf ride?” Aenon asked.

“Yay! Yes, I do, Ashryn sir,” she said cheerfully with a bow.

“Now, the wolf might appear to be big and scary but trust me he is a big softie. Think you can handle that?”

“Mmmmm, I think so,” she replied after some thought.

“Very well. Close your eyes, it is a surprise after all,” Aenon said while covering the kid’s eyes.

When the kid opened her eyes, her jaw dropped in excitement at the huge black wolf sitting on his haunches before her, all proud and regal. Aenon had used some illusion magic to hide Bane’s smoky appearance, and teeth. To the girl, he just appeared like a big black dog.

“Hello, little one,” he said in a soft voice, before bending down and licking her face, making the kid giggle.

“Eww. So slobbery,” she exclaimed but hugged Bane happily.

“Now get on his back and hold on tight. We are going to be moving super-fast,” Aenon said in a child-like excited voice.

The girl squealed in excitement and got on the Abyssal wolf’s back. Aenon gave a nod before the two ran at a breakneck speed. Aenon dropped the illusion and covered the girl in a protective air bubble instead, reducing the hurricane force wind into a gentle breeze. And so the two ran, the road nothing but a blur to the kid’s eyes. They ran for hours without a break, the kid falling asleep after the novelty of the ride wore off after a bit. Which is when they tripled their speed to cover more ground.

When they were almost at their destination, the kid finally woke from her sleep with a scream. Both Aenon and Bane halted their advance in worry. The kid was drenched in sweat, crying uncontrollably. Aenon immediately picked her up and gently patted her back, while singing a soothing lullaby his mother used to sing. He put an illusion around them to hide where they were, replacing the daunting forest view with an open meadow of flowers.

“I… I am ok, Ashryn sir,” the kid while putting up a braze front. But Aenon could tell the nightmare had shaken the kid badly.

“You can call me Aenon,” he said with a soothing smile. He had removed mask a while ago.

“Aenon?” she asked in confusion.

“Yes. That is what my friends call me. No need to call me sir, either.”

“Aenon. I like that name,” the kid said while hugging him tight and drifting off to sleep. Aenon climbed atop Bane and held her steady while Bane ran as fast as he could without disturbing her sleep. They soon reached a white dome of mist, which parted away to let them through. They maintained their brisk pace till they finally reached their destination.

“Welcome back, Aenon friend,” Nocthrya said with glee.

Aenon was impressed with the 30-foot-tall tree they were standing in front of. The branches were lush with leaves, and the soft grass field around it was wider than he remembered. Nocthrya had grown considerably, and his soul was much stronger than Aenon anticipated.

“Good to see you again mu friend…,” Aenon was saying before stopping as Bella started squirming in his arms.

“No… no…,” she said with clenched eye lids, while squeezing Aenon as hard as she could.

“Nocthrya, could you please put this child into a dreamless sleep,” Aenon asked Nocthrya urgently via their soul link.

“Of course,” Nocthrya responded as Aenon put the kid down softly on the lush grass.

A gentle breeze blew across the field, and the kid’s expression relaxed and became peaceful again. Aenon breathed a sigh of relief as he felt the kid finally calmly sleeping. He placed a hand on Nocthrya’s trunk and said thank you while sharing what was going on. Aenon could feel the sadness emanating from the tree as it gently caressed the girl with some vines.

“Little girl’s soul like Aenon friend’s?” Nocthrya asked with concern.

“Not completely. She has started down the road I’ve been on. Her innocence is shielding her, but it is a fickle defense against what awaits at the end of that journey,” Aenon said as he recalled his own past.

“So, what does Aenon friend want to do?”

Aenon thought long and hard about what he could do. And whether it was the right thing. His past had molded him into what he was today, and he could spare the girl from that fate if he made her forget the memories that tormented her. But it felt wrong somehow. It felt like he would steal something away from the kid, so he was reluctant to do it.

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“I don’t know Nocthrya. For the first time in my life, I am not sure what to do,” Aenon replied in a low tone.

“Should I access her memories to see what torments her?” Nocthrya asked innocently.

“No. That would be a breach I will not stand for. I need some time to think about it. Let the child rest. Stay with the kid, Bane,” Aenon said as he moved to a secluded spot by himself. He even instructed the other wolves to leave his shadow and leave him for a while. He lay down on the ground and looked up at the night sky, trying to clear his mind of all thoughts and worries. But his mind went to the memories he had suppressed for so long.

He lay there for almost an hour, trying his level best to break away from the vicious cycle of horrid memories. His face scrunched up with effort, but it was harder than he imagined. At least till a voice spoke up from behind him. He was taken aback since he had turned his soul sense off.

“Mind if I join you?” Jenny asked in soft tone.

Before Aenon could respond, she walked up and lay down beside him. Aenon was surprised by what he saw. She was level 35 already, and nothing like the girl he had left in the forest. She had a wild look to her, her hair cut short, while her face was covered in dirt and grime. But she didn’t seem to mind at all. Her eyes had a depth to them that was missing before. Like she saw more of the world now. She just lay next to him in silence. Neither spoke for almost 15 minutes, just admiring the sky that was all too familiar to them now.

“Nocthrya told me why you are here,” she finally said after a while. But Aenon didn’t know how to respond to that, so he stayed silent. She raised her hand to cover a portion of the sky, closing one of her eyes too. “That planet has been my favorite since I got to this new world of ours. The one with the oceans. Reminds me of Earth. If you leave out the foreign landmasses and the distinct colors.”

Aenon looked at the planet she was talking about. It looked nothing like Earth, the continents looked different, and so was the land color. But he could imagine how it would remind someone of Earth. He focused on the planet, trying to imagine what Jenny was talking about. And for a moment, his worries disappeared.

“Human imagination is a funny thing, isn’t it? We can be in the deepest pits of despair. And yet, our imagination can set us free with just a thought,” Jenny said.

When Aenon turned to face her, she was looking at him instead of the sky, a bright smile on her face. That was when he realized she was merely trying to pull him out of his memories. Just like he was trying to pull the kid out of hers. He turned back to the sky.

“But some pits are darker and deeper than others,” Aenon replied sourly.

“True. That is when you need a hand to pull you out, don’t you think?” Jenny responded. Aenon could feel her staring at him using his soul sense.

“What if the pit is so deep that none can reach you?”

“You mean like the time a certain foolish girl shut her eyes in defiance. Refusing to acknowledge the world around her?” she asked with a faint smile.

“No. More like the time a little boy was made to witness his parents being killed right in front of him. Like the time he was tormented without mercy in exchange for his sister’s safety. Like the time when he had to hold his sister’s lifeless corpse while those that were supposed to protect him jeered at his helplessness,” Aenon said in an emotionless tone.

Jenny sat up in a flash, a horrified expression on her face. He sensed fresh tears rolling down her cheeks, but he continued staring skyward with an emotionless face. This was the second time he had revealed his trauma to someone. But he knew it was of his own volition this time.

“I… I didn’t know…,” she began to say but Aenon cut her off.

“Of course you didn’t. No one ever imagines what the person sitting in front of you has gone through. To everyone their pain, their hurt, is the greatest,” Aenon said dispassionately. Jenny turned away in shame, but Aenon continued, “That is why I never discount anyone’s trauma, including yours. Because there is one thing I learned from my sister’s suicide is that pain is relative. What may look trivial to you might be soul crushing for someone else.”

Jenny turned towards him with tears flowing freely, attempting to apologize, but couldn’t muster the courage to say the words.

“And that is why I don’t know how to help the kid. Maybe her nightmares involve being chased by treants. Or they could be about watching her grandmother suffer. Or perhaps she saw her parents die. But whatever the case, it is now a part of her. A part that cannot be severed without harming her. Even though it is a part that will continue to fester, bringing her nothing but pain,” Aenon said before closing his eyes.

“I… I am sorry…,” Jenny finally managed to say amid silent sobs.

“Sigh. You don’t need to apologize. I know you were just trying to help Jenny. And you truly have matured beyond my expectations. But there are still things you need to learn,” Aenon replied wistfully.

“How do you do it?” she finally asked after a long time.

Aenon didn’t respond, instead releasing Kingdom of Darkness. The sudden descent of darkness shocked her, but she didn’t panic. She turned towards the only thing visible in the empty void. A pair of cold grey eyes.

“What do you see?” Aenon asked without moving, and neither did Jenny.

“Nothing,” Jenny replied with confusion. Even though she felt suffocated by the unknown, she kept staring into his eyes, probing for answers before finally adding, “Rage. I see rage in your eyes.”

“That is how you do it. You convert all the pain, all the torment into something tolerable. And you bury it deep into the darkness within you. My answer was anger. I loathed the world, and everyone in it. And that is why I ran away into the woods back on Earth,” Aenon replied while dispelling the spell.

“Was hiding in the woods the only way to protect yourself?” she asked curiously.

“Oh, don’t misunderstand. I didn’t hide to protect myself from the world. I hid to protect the world from my wrath,” he replied solemnly. It was true. If he continued to live amongst the people back on Earth, he was sure to hurt someone inadvertently at some point.

Even though he didn’t mean to, the last line had his presence imbued into it, making Jenny recoil in terror. It took a while for her heartbeat to stabilize, but she still shivered as she looked at him. She managed to calm down after a great deal of effort.

“Is rage the only answer?” she asked.

“No. Different people have different answers to it. Some go with denial, the path you were on previously. Others chose the path of subservience, to rid themselves of any guilt for the atrocities they commit. Like your mother, who chose to follow the monster. In her mind, she was justified as there was no other way to survive.”

Jenny looked away as the painful encounter with mom resurfaced in her mind. She shook her head to dispel the thoughts, redirecting herself by asking further, “So is there truly no positive way to deal with it?”

“Can you make cake with rotten trash?” Aenon asked in return. “No. You can only convert one negative emotion into another.”

Jenny turned away from him, lying down and looking up at the sky. “And here I was trying to guide you. You really don’t behave like a 12-year-old, you know.”

“Innocence is the luxury of childhood. Something I lost a long time ago,” Aenon responded quietly.

“Then what about the kid?” Jenny asked.

“She still has some semblance of it left. Which is why I am still hopeful,” Aenon said while standing up suddenly as he detected the kid was awake. He began to walk away before turning to Jenny who was still in the same spot, adding one final line.

“After all, light will always pierce the deepest darkness. I just hope I can find that light in time before she loses her innocence.”