It was nighttime. Flora sat on a small wooden bench at the side of her window. The flames from the fireplace danced rhythmically on the white walls of her room, giving it light. It was a beautiful and warm ambiance.

Yet the girl had no eyes for it. She sat by the open window and looked outside. In the darkness of the night, she could make out the first snowflakes of the year. They slowly but surely descended from the clouds and found their place on the castle walls. The damp silence that snow brings with it made the fire and the girl's breaths sound all the louder.

Flora propped her head up with a hand and sighed. On her beautiful face, the shadows from the fire danced around her freckles and her sad eyes. All this luxury, all the warmth, all the clothes… it felt meaningless to her without someone to share it with.

In the entire castle there lived tens of people, maybe more… but she felt lonely. And the deafening silence amplified this feeling. Whenever she was alone for extended periods of time she thought of her family. No matter what she tried, the thoughts and pictures returned to her, and she became overwhelmed by sadness and loneliness.

This had taken a toll on her. Over the last months on Vostrim Castle Flora had found herself unable to leave her room a lot due to her anxiety and the pain she felt when she saw other families happily living together.

Except… for when she was with Faust. The blue eyes, the short blonde hair, his red lips... and the warmth of his body made her forget her worries. Every time he held her, she felt safe and valued.

Yet whenever he left her, she felt the coldness of the world drowning her like a tide of sorrow.

‘I don’t deserve to be here… I am worthless. I have dresses, a warm room and bed, and a boyfriend… yet there is nothing I can give in return. I did nothing to deserve this.’

A tear trickled down her face and the faces of her family and friends appeared before her eyes. Her lips trembled.

‘Why am I here? Why did I survive when they all had to die?’ she thought and hugged her shoulders as she cried. She yearned for Faust to return, but she didn’t want him to see her like this.

She wanted him to hold her. ‘With you, I can forget the pain… you have the same burden, why is it so much easier to bear for you?’

She continued to put herself down and her low self-esteem gained yet another crack. She felt worthless and empty. She undressed herself and went under the sheets of her bed, attempting to sleep, just to make her suffering stop. To finally end this day, this tragedy. Yet she knew she would wake up the next day and nothing would change.

Only when Faust appeared in her mind did she briefly smile and fall asleep, letting the darkness of rest consume her sadness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That very same evening Faust sat in the great hall together with Leona, Cassius, and Aquila, drinking a weak beer and laughing. Cassius was quite tipsy already and was currently telling a joke to the group.

“…and then I realized that I had kissed a donkey!!! Can you believe it?” he laughed loudly and smacked his considerable belly with his right hand. The others burst into laughter and struggled not to fall off their stools. Aquila’s laugh sounded like a tea kettle, igniting another burst of laughter among the group. Leona even had to hold onto Faust’s arm to stop herself from falling.

She was a bit tipsy as well and a healthy blush had taken position on her cheeks. When she regained her balance, she left her hand on his arm and looked at him with deep blue eyes. She smiled at him before removing her hand from his arm lightning fast and looking into the fire.

If one looked deep into her eyes they would see an intense yearning. She smiled lightly at her thoughts. She knew she couldn’t act on them, but she enjoyed these small moments of affection more than anything else.

Just for a moment showing her care for him made her heart jump. Yet whenever she allowed herself such a small moment of openness, she felt a pang of guilt. She knew his loyalty lay with Flora.

‘I wish he was a noble…’ she sighed.

Faust in the meantime furrowed his brows. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the small exchange, but he had to think of Flora. The girl was his anchor, his refuge from his pain. With her he wouldn’t feel as cold and isolated anymore… yet as he thought this, he realized something.

‘When I’m with my friends and Leona I don’t get these negative emotions either… they cheer me up and give me the same feeling… no… it’s not the same… or is it?’ his drunken mind had come up with an idea and he didn’t quite trust it.

He left it as something to ponder about later. For now, he gently punched Leona in the shoulder and smiled at her she punched him back and they laughed.

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‘Why does it feel so different with Leona… probably because she’s just a friend…’ he cursed his overthinking and shut his thoughts down with a big chug of beer.

Aquila and Cassius exchange a knowing glance. They both knew what their friend’s interactions meant and they pitied both of them, but more so Leona. Faust had Flora after all. Cassius shook his head.

‘If only love was as easy as politics…’ he sighed inwardly.

At the same time, Aquila had a similar thought:

‘If only love was as easy as fighting…’ he chuckled to himself.

Meanwhile, Faust combated his racing mind with more alcohol. As it got later Cassius and Aquila excused themselves to leave the castle for their beds in one of the towers.

Faust stood up and was quite wobbly on his feet. He had close to no experience with alcohol. Leona supported him and brought him to his room. He sat down on his bed and sighed.

“Thank you.” He smiled at her as he took his shoes off. He struggled with the simple movements.

“No problem…” she smiled and turned to leave, yet as she was about to leave, she turned around and looked at Faust with a serious expression. “Faust… you drank so much today… it felt like you wanted to forget something… want to tell me?”

She didn’t quite know why she did that, why she turned around and asked him this question when she could’ve just left. He was dead drunk for God’s sake. Nothing smart would leave his mouth in that state. Yet something held her there. A faint hope. A longing.

He looked up at her, a bit confused. “Leona…” he was astonished. He saw concern in her eyes yet also something else he didn’t understand. She smiled as he said her name.

“You should know what’s troubling me…” he said and looked at his shoes before throwing them in a corner. ‘Does she think I don’t get her hints? By now even I realized.’

Flora's face appeared before him. He felt his pain disappear, but no warmth spread in his mind. When he looked at Leona instead and her care for him… something felt so different.

‘As if… Flora’s eyes only carried pain and no love…’ his eyes grew wide. ‘Leona cares for me… not because I alleviate her sorrows, but she likes me for who I am…’ he realized as he looked into the fire.

‘Am I being used?’ he buries his head in his hands and sighs.

Leona is a taken aback.

‘I should know? Is it because of Flora?’ she thought to herself, her bad consciousness haunting her while she also felt a tinge of hope appearing in her heart.

When she saw him bury his head she stepped forward and kneeled next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. ‘I have never seen him so vulnerable… I need to be there for him.’

After a few more seconds he turned his head and looked her in the eyes. His face looked sad and insecure. His brows twitched and his blue eyes looked deeply into hers, only centimeters from her own.

When she realized how close they were her instincts told her to back off, yet she was unable to move her body. Something held her back. She could feel his breath on her face, and they stared at each other for several seconds without words. Faust placed a hand on her cheek.

‘Her cheek is so soft…’ he thought absentmindedly, totally enchanted by her beauty. Her golden hair shone in the light of the fire burning in the chimney. Warmth encompassed both of them.

Their hearts raced. ‘is this really happening?’ Leona thought to herself. She wasn’t sure why his hand on her cheek didn’t bother her. She couldn’t believe it. ‘Such a gentle and caring gesture…’

She was frozen in place. He kept his hand on her cheek and his face showed a deep emotional turmoil. ‘Please…’ Leona thought. She wasn’t even sure what exactly she wanted him to do. Just… something.

Faust then smiled weakly and with a hoarse voice pressed out:” You should go to sleep. It's late.”

She could feel the longing in his voice. He removed his hand from her cheek and then looked away.

Leona slowly stood up. Her face showed a mix of pain and relief.

Both of them knew exactly how they felt for one another, but this moment had shown her, that his heart rested elsewhere. It hurt. It hurt incredibly. She had never experienced something so bad in her entire life.

She knew he liked her. His actions spoke more than a thousand words. Yet the fact that they still couldn’t be together and that he remained with Flora hurt even more than it would have if he had just rejected her.

She had seen how he looked at her and the conflicted and caring emotions in his eyes… she quickly hushed to the door, wanting to flee the room as fast as possible. She had butterflies in her stomach, but it felt as if they were cutting her heart open with their beautiful wings.

As she ran out and closed the door Faust stared into the fire. He heard the door open again just a few seconds later and saw Leona's face.

“Goodnight.” She whispered before leaving him to the darkness of the night.

Tears trickled down her face as she ran up the stairs to reach the roof of the castle. She needed air.

‘Love be damned!’ she cried in her mind as she raced up the stairs. When she arrived on the roof a wave of cold, fresh air hit her, and she broke down on her knees to cry. She didn’t even exactly know why. Her mind was a flurry of emotions. It overwhelmed her.

She stayed in place for entire minutes, ignoring the biting cold and chilling wind on her beautiful skin. She cried and cried until she heard a deep voice behind her.

“Leona?” the voice asked, and she immediately recognized it. She tried to stop herself from crying but couldn’t. She didn’t even turn around.

“Oh father!” she sobbed and buried her face in her hands.

Two seconds later and without another word Schenk sat down next to her and pulled her in for a hug.

Seeing his daughter crying alone on the roof was too much for him. A tear formed in his left eye, but she couldn’t see it as she buried her head in his chest and cried.

‘My little girl… I can’t bear to see you this way…’ he thought and just held her.

“It’s alright. You’re with me. I’m here for you darling. I’m here.” He tenderly comforted her with his deep, fatherly voice. Her cries didn’t immediately ebb, and it took another minute before her sobbing stopped.

They stayed in that position, and she found solace in her father’s embrace. It felt like the safest place in the world. Nothing bad could get to her. Schenk slowly stroked her hair and kissed her head.

He had not asked her a single question and he did not care. He only wanted to comfort his little girl and care for her. It broke his heart to see her on the roof, all alone, kneeling in the snow. The body in his arms felt so frail and yet so precious. She was the most important thing in the world to him and he would do anything for her.

This was the first time Schenk realized that he would not always be able to be there for his daughter… and it scared him.