Chapter 16 — End of the Line

  When I got to the clearing, there wasn't a soul in sight. The forest muffled the car sounds from the city beyond so well, it might as well no longer exist. I'd brought the picnic blanket out again. No Rana though—she had decided that until she was no longer in the tournament, she needed to focus on her own matches above all else. I wished she were there.

  Couldn't exactly blame her. Every match was a risk after all. It was even worse for spectators too, from what I'd seen. I'd be dueling without her—and without my opponent too at this rate. Still no Robin and it had been five minutes already. I sat down and pulled out my phone.

  Halfway to my contacts list, I heard a snap above me. I looked up.

  "Hi Noël!"

  Robin dropped out of the tree above me, landing with a soft thump in the grass. My phone fell out of my hand. He bounded onto the blanket, grinning like mad.

  I burst out laughing.

  Robin glanced up at the tree. "It's a good climbing tree and I got bored."

  "No kidding." I calmed myself down. We did have a match to play. Robin pulled out his cards and laid down Winston. As Check landed on the blanket, the two flashed. A moment later, a trumpet sounded, seeming a thousand miles away and still somehow audible.

  "Guess that means it's a tournament game!" said Robin, rubbing his hands together.

  "Yeah…" Despite my winning streak, I was nervous. Robin had beaten me before. I glanced down at the set of dueling grounds we'd drawn.

  Two Dangerous—the Battle of Ravenhead and the Charge of the Winter Battalion. Would I take Robin into a literal warzone? I could. Based on the other grounds, I could easily force either of those two, or give myself a huge advantage. Even more than that, Robin was only twelve. A warzone could seriously distract him, or even knock him out entirely. Was that the edge I needed?

  Was I willing to inflict that on a kid for my wish?

  ...just another thing to use up and throw away when you're done…

  Kyla's rage shoved itself to the front of my mind. Without a word, I reached down and flipped Ravenhead over. Robin visibly sighed with relief. He flipped the Winter Battalion. I smiled.

  "Something quiet sounds good to me. You?"

  Robin nodded. "I always wanted to go here," he said, pointing at one of them. Nature-type. A forest on a floating island with some kind of building in the background. Something in Chinese, if I remembered right.

  "Níngjìng de sēnlín," said Robin to my raised eyebrow. "What? I looked it up."

  "Okay smart guy, what's it mean?"

  "The Forest of Tranquility, or maybe it's Peace, I dunno." Robin shrugged. "It looks really pretty."

  Nature-type didn't really give either of us an advantage. Check would get one from being Evasive, but her ranged attack lost a bonus for it. Meanwhile, Winston wasn't really hurt or helped either way as a Neutral duelist. I could agree to that.

  "Sure, let's do it."

  A minute later, we were diving straight into the transition kaleidoscope. Portland faded away in the swirling lights and rushing wind. My chest felt like it was trying to leap out of my throat—no matter how many times I'd been through this already, it was always uncomfortable. As we landed, I let out a deep breath… and sucked in the most perfect fresh air I'd ever tasted.

  The entire island was probably only a thousand feet in diameter. It drifted above a rolling ocean, with a pleasant hovering sensation that tickled your feet. Trees dotted the landscape and a single grass-swallowed hill on one side. Butterflies, squirrels, even a deer wandered in the distance across the small sun-drenched lake. Perfect red apples hung from the treetops, along with other fruits and berries I couldn't identify. Next to the lake sat a monastery, overgrown with vines and trees bursting out of the roof. It looked like nobody had been inside in millennia.

  As someone who had grown up in the city, this was so far removed from my life that it crossed over perfect into suspiciously utopian. Something about it bothered me in a way I couldn't quite define. It was just… too much.

  Robin had no such qualms. He immediately plopped back on the blanket, which had come with us transformed into a soft fabric weave in a multitude of colors and interweaving patterns. After a comforting glance at Check, I walked around the decks (and the watchful gaze of Winston) to lay down next to Robin.

  Not a word, just the two of us enjoying the gentle breeze brushing across the field of clover. After a little while, both Check and Winston sheathed their weapons and sat down themselves, though still at their dueling positions. We watched a lot of perfect fluffy clouds drift through the sky before Robin spoke.

  "Sometimes I think I should just stay inside one of these forever," said Robin. "I once stayed all day in Atevel— Atevusilav— Atevusylvec," he managed finally, "with my friend Julia. We were there for like seven hours, just us and all the elves."

  "So why'd you leave?" I asked, ignoring the obvious.

  "Got hungry," said Robin. "The elves wouldn't give us any of their food. One of them looked really mad when I asked. They didn't do anything, just spoke whatever language they speak you know? But…" He trailed off, pointing at a cloud drifting by. "That one looks like Julia's raccoon."

  "She has a pet raccoon?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

  "It's a stuffed animal, dumb dumb." Robin sighed and dropped his arm back to his side. "Nah, we left 'cause… Julia wanted to go home. I would have stayed." His voice dropped to a mumble, barely audible. "Hate it back there."

  I hesitated, not sure if Robin wanted me to ask or not. It took another memory of Kyla swimming through my skull. "...Do you want to talk about it?"

  "Oh!" Robin glanced at me. "No, it's okay. I… it's you. I don't want to make you sad."

  "Huh?" I raised an eyebrow. "Robin, you're not gonna make me sad. Unless you tell me you hate me or something."

  "Never!" He smiled, but it faded again quickly. "You're sure?"

  "Positive. I'm your friend, dude. You can tell me."

  "It's my parents," Robin said, without a moment's preamble.

  "Oh. You thought 'cause mine… It's okay, Robin." I shook my head. "That's what I'm here for, you know? To get them back. Long as I win, they're not really gone."

  "You're really cool Noël. I wish I could be cool."

  "I'm really not," I muttered. "I'm a jerk, Robin."

  He shrugged again. "Not to me." A moment later, all the energy had surged back into him. Robin rolled himself over until he was in front of his cards and bounced upright. "C'mon, Winston and Check are waiting for us!"

  So began our duel. To my relief, the peaceful forest lived up to its name—the most change we saw was a family of deer wandering through the tree trunks. In the midst of this, Check and Winston dueled, but it was more like a friendly sparring match than anything else. Both made some serious hits and some blood was drawn, but neither seemed interested in inflicting any real damage.

  Robin was off to a good start. He'd drawn me into a few traps with his support cards, and I still wasn't great at reading him. Every time I thought he'd go one way, he swerved and hit me with a move I didn't expect. My health was chunking down at an alarming rate.

  I'd learned too. Thanks to Rana and Kyla, I knew a lot more about what Winston could do, and what he couldn't. Check might be taking more hits, but she could also dish out a lot more in a single volley. All I needed to do was hold out long enough. Every chance I got, my hand was building up, and more importantly my support cards. I had a lot of utility in my pocket. Robin had none.

  It was something I'd noticed last time we dueled. Robin never really used Support cards. He never drew them with his Prepare, since it took cycling to use and he didn't want to lose his basics. Robin loved playing Winston's specials and they weren't bad, but it left him open to some pretty vicious combos. I could exploit that.

  Case in point… I was at 15 health and Robin was still up at 80, but I was pretty sure I just won. He didn't have a single support card, and thanks to one of mine, I knew his whole hand was Strikes and Charges. Time for my move.

  "I play Suppressing Fire, since you played Strike this turn," I said. The picture of Captain Winter's flag-tank on the art made me wince, but I pressed on. From somewhere behind Check, a machine gun opened up and raked the field. Puffs of dirt exploded around us as a few bullets struck Winston. "You don't get to draw a card this bout."

  Robin put down his next card, and I dropped a Portable Hole. Winston rushed forward at Check and promptly fell into a perfect black circle that opened between them. Part of our picnic blanket drooped into the corner. I pulled it back on instinct, as if Winston might grab it for leverage and climb out.

  Next, a Goblin Thieves to prevent Robin from drawing again. Two little green goblins darted out of the trees, snatching something out of Winston's pockets. He roared and swiped at them with his cutlass, but they were too quick for him. He had bigger concerns anyway, as a burst of steam erupted between him and Check.

  A Steamscreen to prevent a Charge or Strike this turn, no new cards so Robin couldn't get any new moves, and Check had all the time in the world to charge her smart pistol. On top of that, I had two Doubletaps ready to go, which would effectively triple the damage of the charged shot. Check's pistol was already glowing, her eyes set and a smirk just starting to curl on her lip.

  One bout later, it exploded outward in a searing glow of blue energy. Winston was blasted off his feet into the grass. As the steam cleared, he struggled back to his feet, leaning on the hilt of his cutlass for support. One down.

  ROUND ONE: CHECK.

  "Hey Robin," I started as we reset the field, "do you ever… talk to Winston?"

  "Huh?" Robin glanced at his duelist, who didn't react in the slightest. "Nope. He doesn't talk to me either. I never thought about it. Should I talk to him?"

  "I don't know." I glanced at Check while Robin looked back to his cards. She raised an eyebrow. "What?" I mouthed at her.

  A slow shake of her head. Robin didn't notice.

  "Come on, let's play again!" said Robin, drawing his next hand. Reluctantly, I mirrored him.

  The second round progressed even easier than the first. I had learned how to read Robin by now, and how to lure him into my traps. This time, I was building up my cards for a combo without taking hits, using my free moves off well-timed dodges to gather up resources.

  Robin looked a bit frustrated. I couldn't blame him. The way I was playing had to be irritating as hell—he never got to do anything, while I built up such a clear advantage that he was almost certainly going to die in a huge attack once again. The few hits he landed felt like glancing blows, tiny ripples against the oncoming flood. Robin was done for.

  "Congrats Noël," said Robin, sounding a bit forced. He wasn't out yet, but we both knew it was coming. "You're gonna do awesome in the tournament."

  I wanted to say something nice, but everything just sounded hollow. "Thanks."

  "I've never had a penalty," said Robin, glancing away. "...Does it hurt?"

  "Not sure I'm allowed to say… but maybe you don't gotta worry. I heard you don't get them from tournament matches."

  He shook his head. "Nah, I know for sure you do. I asked the Moderator."

  "Oh…" I paused, on the verge of apologizing for giving him one, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. I needed to win, and I needed to get through this tournament without overwhelming guilt. To admit it now was too far. "Look… when you get it, come find me and Rana, okay? We'll make sure you'll get through it."

  "Okay." Robin smiled, a sad smile with way more depression than any twelve year old should feel. "Just as long as I don't gotta be… her."

  "Who?"

  He winced and looked down at the ground. "Who my parents think I am. The other Robin."

  "Oh…" I nodded. "It's not gonna be anything like that. Trust me. You never have to be her around us."

  "Cool." Robin looked genuinely relieved, which did wonders for my own psyche. "Thanks Noël. Go win the whole tournament, okay? I wanna meet your parents. I bet they're as cool as you are."

  I smiled. "Will do."

  Without another word, Robin leaned down and flipped his card over. Winston sheathed his cutlass and pistol. He snapped to a salute, facing the both of us. Check gave him a respectful nod, falling back to her comfortable slouch. As the world settled down, I spotted the Enforcer, hanging out atop the monastery behind Robin. She was looking down at the kid, eyes narrowed.

  I only had a few moments to consider the sight before the voice came to announce my victory with the sound of trumpets. Check laid a hand on my shoulder, a comfort as the pure thrill of victory swelled in my chest. It might feel more complicated than usual, beating Robin, but it was no less satisfying to add another to my belt—another step closer to my wish. The rush of a win, each more savory than the last.

  CHECK HAS WON THE DUEL.

  ***

  By the time the fog cleared, Robin was already packing up to leave. We said a quick goodbye, but it was clear he just wanted to leave, and I let him go. The park was safe enough. I trusted he could get home okay. I just sat there in the clearing for a while, staring up at the sky and thinking.

  One down.

  One match down. Four to go.

  I wondered if they'd deliberately put Robin in as my first match. One of only two people to ever beat me, and even worse, a friend who I could barely bring myself to defeat. If they thought they could manipulate me so easily…

  My phone had already revealed my next matchup, a name I didn't recognize—and didn't care to learn. Whoever they were, they'd been just as quick to finish the first round, and it boded well for my impatience. I needed this to be over already. No more penalties, no more guilt, just me and the game with my parents on the line.

  I dashed off a text and started on my morning run, since I'd skipped it to face Robin fresh and ready to go. The cool morning air helped ground me a little. I loved the park. When I got my own place with my parents, which I hoped Lloyd might help pay for, we'd have to live near a park. Or maybe they'd just live in the mansion with Lloyd, I couldn't imagine he'd have a problem with that.

  Lloyd had really redeemed himself to me over the last couple months. He'd taken care of me when no one else would, and with zero experience he still vastly outstripped lifelong parents like Kyla's or Rana's. Yeah, he kept a pretty big secret from me, but what if he wasn't allowed to tell me? Dash and Howard both dropped off the map when they got theirs; maybe Lloyd was under similar restrictions. I couldn't assume anything yet.

  Most importantly, he'd taken in Rana without a second thought. My girlfriend had a safe place to live because of his generosity and good nature. I wasn't sure even my parents would have done that… I wasn't sure about a lot regarding them anymore. They were my parents and I loved them, but I knew I might be viewing them through rose-colored nostalgia glasses, a child's view of impossibly good caretakers that never really existed.

  Lloyd was real, and he was here now. Carolyn too. I dashed inside as I got to the mansion, only to find an empty building waiting for me.

  I wandered up to my bedroom, hoping to find my girlfriend at least. Instead, I found a folded piece of paper in neat handwriting on my pillow—she'd scheduled her own first round match downtown at a library. Carolyn had given her a ride. Given the long holiday weekend, I guess it made sense we all wanted to get our matches out of the way as soon as possible. Better than wasting our time shopping for fake deals with the rest of the city.

  With no response from my next matchup and no school, I had the whole place to myself. A giant mansion and a lone girl to drive herself insane inside it. I spent a good half-hour just taking a walk around the place. Every step made me a little more anxious, a little antsier. The game was waiting for me, I just didn't have anyone to duel yet.

  Nor did I have anything else to do, really. No friends to invite over, nothing to do at the place besides watch TV, play games, screw around on my phone, things that just didn't matter. I wanted something that felt like me, but nothing in the whole mansion really did. Even my room was just whatever Lloyd had bought at my behest… and despite choosing every object in there, it still didn't match my personality. It was a rich dream, not a reality.

  That was the one sticking point. Lloyd and Carolyn were great, and Rana was wonderful, but… they weren't my parents. I loved them all, but without my parents, this place had never truly felt like a home. Rana even called me out on it once—I always called it 'the house', 'the mansion', 'Lloyd's'... anything but home. When she'd moved in, I'd felt a lot more at-ease, but still, never home.

  My phone buzzed. I snapped it up, hoping it was my tournament match. Anything to get my mind off the swirling conflict, and one step closer to my wish.

  It wasn't… but it was a match—a response to one of my threads on the site. I started to dismiss it, but something caught in my brain. My fingers tapped out a response seemingly on their own. I offered a match. Downtown, rooftop, one hour from now. Just enough time for me to get there by bus.

  Why are you accepting a match?

  It's good practice.

  You're already in the tournament. This is a totally unnecessary risk.

  Sure it was, but I didn't care. I needed to be doing something. I needed a win. Within minutes, I was out the door and headed for the bus stop, Check and my cards safe in my bag. My fingers drummed along the window the whole way. One-two, one, one-two, one-two-three-four. I wasn't listening to music, just strumming to a never-ending beat in my head—the rhythm of the duel. Strike, block, charge, combo, repeat. Images of the fight flashed through my mind, Check against a blur of opponents shifting in and out of focus.

  By the time I climbed up to the rooftop, my opponent was already there. I didn't even look at them. They had no face, no voice, nothing to me. Wordless, I laid out my cards and Check on the card table. My feet kicked up gravel as I sat down. A formless drone of words drifted through my head, naming grounds to ban, and I grunted my assent. I was on autopilot, driven by something I couldn't see, just like those machines that had killed my parents. It was the only way to avoid the guilt, the only way to win without remembering what I might be doing to my opponents.

  In moments, we were off, and suddenly my brain was alive again. We were downtown in Seattle, circa 2084. Drones and hovercars flew through the narrow neon-lit skyscraper alleys far above the minimum-wage drones buying their latest fix on shady corners. The sky was heavy with smog, and down on the street level we could see the grunge aesthetic played out to its natural conclusion, mixed with the high-tech low-life sensibility of cyberpunk. This was Check's home, her turf, her world.

  CHECK HAS WON THE DUEL.

  The fight was over before it even began. Check and I crushed my opponent so thoroughly, I don't think she even took a single hit in the second round. Every move my opponent made might as well have been plastered on a billboard. I hugged her as the rush of victory lit up my veins, a whole-body thrill that sent me through the clouds. Check patted me on the back as she faded away. I returned to the real world and gathered up my cards, rushing away before the feeling faded.

  Down to the sidewalk, across the street to the stop, and straight back onto the bus as soon as it pulled up. I pulled out my phone and brought up the website. There wasn't a single match to find… but there was a message from my opponent in the tournament. He wanted to duel tomorrow. I wished it were sooner, but I could wait until then. We set a time and location across town. I texted Carolyn the details to make sure she could take me.

  She replied almost right away, confirming it, but also letting me know Rana was home and wondering where I was.

  I winced. Rana left me a note… I could have done the same. I hadn't texted her since I didn't want to distract from her game. Instead I'd just taken off, leaving the house totally empty and Rana wondering if I'd won or lost—worse, if I'd even survived. After what happened to Reylon…

  "Hello?"

  "Hi Rana," I murmured, phone pressed tight to my ear. I was sitting as far away from anyone else on the bus as possible, hoping to avoid attention. A few people had given me second glances, as my face threatened to trigger a memory buried in their dead-eyed skulls. If they heard the name 'Rana', straight out of the newspapers and magazines, I had no doubt it would launch a full-scale impromptu protest somehow.

  "Oh Noël, alhamdo lillah. I was so worried—"

  "I'm sorry." I winced again. "I'm okay. I won, and I just… had to get out of the house for a bit." I wasn't quite sure why I didn't tell Rana about the extra duel, but I figured it didn't matter. I'd won after all. "I'm on my way back right now."

  "Okay. I won my match as well." Rana paused, and I heard a whistle of wind in the background. She must be outside… probably on the balcony. I wish I were there right now. Why did I go out again? "...How's Robin?"

  "I think he's okay. He didn't want to talk after it ended, but he was happy I won."

  "I'm worried about him."

  An idea popped into my head, and into my voice before I could stop myself. "Want to have him over?"

  "Huh?"

  "He always wanted to come see the mansion, and I'm sure he'd love to hang out with us in a not-Riposte way." As I kept talking, it sounded more and more like a good idea. Something to brighten the day a bit, and take my mind off whatever the hell was going on with the rest of my brain right now. "He seemed really down after the game… I think he could use a distraction."

  Rana nodded, a smile creasing her lips. "I think that's a great idea."

  "Don't sound so surprised," I muttered, rolling my eyes. She laughed, but in a friendly uplifting way that sent spirals of joy through my veins. I loved this girl.

  ***

  Robin—to nobody's surprise—was eager to come visit. He must have sprinted across the park and up the trails to us, he showed up so fast. Rana and I waited for him on the side of the house, near the hedge gate. His first impressions did not disappoint. We took him on the whole tour, around the grounds and up through the secret passages, past both mine and Lloyd's decked-out offices (his occupied by a jacked-in Lloyd working on a project), and finally into one of the sitting rooms. I'd considered my bedroom, but lately that had begun to feel like a special place… something just for me and Rana.

  Instead, we had two nice couches, a coffee table to play Riposte on if we wanted (though nobody seemed very interested), a half-dozen game consoles under a wall TV, a mini-fridge loaded with soda and snacks, and streams of golden sunlight through the window. Two couches was excessive though—we all piled onto one, curled up in blankets with Rana between us to stave off the December chill.

  "Your house is awesome," said Robin, munching through cookies. I'd been reluctant to let them eat on the couch, Kyla's words about entitlement ringing in my ears. Didn't say anything though, so they both started chowing down anyway.

  "Lloyd's house," I corrected. Rana held up a cookie, and I gave in. She popped it in my mouth.

  "You live here too!" Robin looked at me very sternly. "Just cuz a piece of paper says something else doesn't make it less true."

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  "That's not really how ownersh—"

  Rana cut me off with an exaggerated sigh. "He's right you know. This is your home Noël. You've been living here for six months now."

  "But Mom and Dad aren't…" I trailed off, not wanting to say it aloud.

  Robin glanced up, confused, which prompted Rana to finish the sentence. "They're not here, so you don't feel at home."

  "...Yeah," I murmured.

  "My parents are, and it never feels like home to me either," said Robin, staring down at the coffee table. "Feels more right with you guys or at the Question."

  "And mine made it clear it was no longer my home," added Rana quietly.

  "They're all stupid," said Robin.

  I sat up straight. "Hey!"

  "Oh… sorry Noël." He grinned sheepishly. "I meant… like, you know, it's stupid."

  "Yeah, I know." I shook my head and leaned back into Rana. "It's fine."

  "You know," said Rana, "all of us want the same thing." She leaned over and nestled her head on my shoulder, her opposite hand grasping Robin's. "Just to be accepted by our families."

  I nodded, and hugged Rana a little bit.

  "Noël too?" asked Robin, looking over at me.

  "I never came out to my parents." My voice caught a little bit. Rana squeezed my shoulder a little. Her presence gave me a calm and a quiet joy like nothing else in the world. "I dunno what they'd think."

  "Mine just said 'no' a lot," said Robin, staring back at the floor. "I said it was a joke a couple days later. They never brought it up again. I never told anyone else 'til the Moderator and I wished I coulda just been born right."

  "If I hadn't had Noël…" said Rana, trailing off.

  "If we hadn't had Lloyd," I corrected.

  "He just lets you live here?" asked Robin, glancing up with a curious look. "Do you get your own room and everything?"

  "Yes," said Rana. Technically true, even if she never used it. Too busy making out or snuggling in mine. I suppressed a vague smirk, glad for something to feel good about.

  "Think he'd let me come live here too?" Robin winced the moment he said it. "I mean… uhh…"

  "It's a lot more complicated, Robin," said Rana softly. She ran a hand through his hair affectionately. "I'm old enough to live on my own, and my parents… well—"

  "Kicked her out," I said bluntly.

  She nodded. "Lloyd probably saved my life."

  "Saved mine too," I added. "After the accident, I was about to get shipped off into a foster home. Lloyd came out of nowhere to adopt me."

  "You don't ever sound like you like him," said Robin, glancing at me. "Is he mean?"

  "No… doesn't talk much at all really." I shrugged. "I think I just resented him a lot. For replacing my parents. Except he didn't really try, he just kinda… existed around me."

  "I think you should talk to him," said Robin.

  I resisted rolling my eyes. "Can't get him to adopt you too, Robin."

  To my shame, Robin got to play the eye-roll. "I know. I mean, like, if you don't talk to him and he doesn't talk to you, 'course you guys aren't friends. Can't be friends with someone you don't know."

  "He's right," said Rana, throwing me a smile. "Lloyd's done a lot for both of us. The least we can do is try to be friendly."

  "What are you waiting for?" added Robin, poking me in the cheek. "Go talk to him! He's home right now, isn't he?"

  "Yeah, but…" I glanced at the two of them on the couch. "We're hanging out."

  "I think Robin and I will be fine for a few minutes," said Rana. She smirked. "Don't worry, I won't let anything happen. Probably."

  "Uh-huh." With a sigh, I climbed to my feet. Another joke to steel myself—for one reason or another, I was incredibly nervous for the conversation. I'd go through with it, because they were right, but still. "Cute guy like him, can't be too sure."

  Robin glanced between the two of us. "Huh?"

  "Don't steal my girl while I'm gone," I said, starting out the door. He only looked more confused, which at least put a smile on my face.

  Rana giggled. "We'll be waiting!"

  It took a couple minutes to cross the house back to Lloyd's office. I was half-hoping he'd still be jacked in, so I'd have an easy excuse to return to my girlfriend. No such luck. Lloyd was relaxed in his chair, progress bar inching up behind him for a compiler. The moment I crossed the threshold, he put down his book.

  "Hi," I said abruptly.

  "Hello." He glanced around, as if expecting I was actually looking for someone else. "Everything okay? I think I saw a new friend with you and Rana?"

  "Yeah, that's Robin. He lives across the park."

  "Oh." Lloyd glanced over at the computer, which hadn't changed in the slightest. "That's nice."

  In anyone else's voice, that would have sounded dismissive. For Lloyd, I knew it was just because he had no clue what to say, but didn't want to leave me hanging. "I guess so." I realized I didn't really have any idea … thanks, guys, sending me in here without a plan. "What are you working on?"

  "The city sent me data on traffic patterns and car interactions from the last thirty years. I'm training a neural net to improve flow and reduce collisions by as much as possible." Lloyd's voice always became more engaged if he had something technical on his mind. Worked every time. He glanced at it again. "The old model prioritized efficiency too much. It learned to allow a few collisions if it meant the rest of the network worked so much faster."

  "So it deliberately crashed cars?" I asked, a vague sense of rage bubbling deep in my heart.

  "Yes," said Lloyd, oddly dispassionate. He switched windows on the screen, checking a few lines of code as I watched. "I'm optimistic."

  "Good money in that?"

  "Probably." Lloyd shrugged. "I only bid one dollar for the contract."

  "Huh?"

  "When a city hands out infrastructure jobs, they take bids of cost, time to complete, so on. I have the full weight of my own skills and my company behind this, and I offered to do it for free, but my lawyers said there had to be a minimum exchange to make it valid. So I bid the minimum."

  I stared, a bit taken aback. I knew Lloyd didn't care much about money, but he was rich, and not from inheritance. Anybody in that state had to be at least a little ruthless, right? He must have wished for money… no way did he get rich with how selfless he always acts. Or I'm missing something huge.

  No better time to ask it. My voice blurted it out before I could second-guess myself. "Were you in the League?"

  "What League?" asked Lloyd, but he wasn't that good at hiding. His fingers had frozen above the keyboard, and he'd given it the same emphasis we all did.

  "The super-dangerous, wish-granting, mystical underground card game run by insane people that's already tried to kill me three or four times." I plopped myself down in the chair across from him. "You know, that League."

  The blood drained from his face. Bingo.

  "Okay, so you were," I went on without missing a beat. It was in the open now. No need to be coy. "So am I, and Rana too, as I'm sure you already saw."

  He nodded slowly.

  "Is that why you let her stay with us?"

  "No!" said Lloyd emphatically. I winced. Maybe an accusation too far. His voice dropped again as he went on. "I invited her because she's clearly very important to you, and she needed it. Nothing else."

  "Yeah… she is," I said, a little relieved. Lloyd was telling the truth, at least from all my instincts. "I love her."

  He smiled. "If I know anything, she loves you too. "

  A burst of sunlight flooded my body, gentle warmth and joy filling every inch. I had no idea why—Lloyd's approval wasn't something I'd ever wanted, and yet… it still meant a lot to me. "Thanks."

  Lloyd shrugged. "All I did was give you two space."

  "Means a lot…" I shook my head. "That's not why I'm here. You were in the League. You won too, I'm guessing."

  He hesitated, but again, that slow guilty nod.

  I gestured all around us. "So you won all this, huh?"

  "I did… got my wish." He sure didn't sound happy about it. "You're winning too, I'm guessing."

  "Yeah."

  He gulped. "Have you lost any yet?"

  "And did a penalty," I said, my voice dark. "If only somebody had warned me."

  "I didn't want any of this for you," said Lloyd. "You were safe, and once Rana got here, you were happy."

  His face looked so sad again, after the unusual joy I'd seen in the last few weeks. It hurt, but I hurt too. Lloyd had lied to me for months—not to my face, but by omission. He could have warned me. He could have done so much more. The day I walked in with my commitment, he had to have known. Penalties be damned, he should have told me.

  "You could've given me the option," I said. "It's a wish. I could… I might—"

  "At what cost?" asked Lloyd. He shook his head. "It's too dangerous. I know I can't stop you now, but… please be careful. People have died."

  "I know," I shot back. "I watched it happen."

  He winced. "I'm so sorry, Noël."

  "Whatever." I turned and stormed out, too angry to speak.

  I went straight back to my bedroom. Robin and Rana wouldn't want to see me like this. I wouldn't want to see me like this either. This was how I felt in the weeks after my parents died, when all my rage was focused on the other driver. I'd hated him. He'd taken everything from me in an instant.

  Lloyd hadn't done that, but the same sense of my world collapsing had started to set in. It started when Kyla found the card, but I'd been too distracted to think about it. Lloyd had known since before I fought a single duel. He could have warned me about penalties, told me what might happen. Even knew about the consequence of three penalties, from the sound of it.

  Rana came in after a while. She found me sitting on my bed—not crying, this wasn't something to cry about. I was just flipping Check over and over in my hand, staring at my wall of pictures. They were all from my old life, before the crash—mostly me and my parents, since I'd shredded all the ones of my so-called friends.

  "We heard," she said quietly. "...Robin's outside with Carolyn."

  Rana closed the door and sat down next to me. No more words, just a gentle hand intertwined with mine. Without warning, I turned and kissed her. One kiss turned into two, into many, until we were down on the bed without a care in the world. I didn't want anything else right then, I just wanted her—the one unblemished spot in my life, the twinkling stars to my boiling sun, her tranquil calm to my confused fury.

  My hands wandered. They brushed across her skin, under her shirt, touching her back. We lay side by side, kissing with abandon, caressing each other. I pressed her into me, desperate for more. Her eyes fluttered, lit up with a passionate fire that only ever emerged in private. This was the secret Rana, the one only I knew.

  "Noël," she whispered.

  I didn't stop kissing her. Her voice grew husky. Rana's hands pressed into my back. Her grip was tight, almost painful. I loved it. I needed it. Needed her.

  "Noël," she whispered again, thick with desire. "I want this, but… you're upset."

  I shook my head. "It doesn't matter anymore." He lied, I lied, we're all damn liars. Suck it up, Noël. You've got a beautiful girlfriend and way more important things to worry about right now than Lloyd.

  "Are you sure?"

  "I'm not sure about anything except you," I said. "But I know what to do now." My lips found the side of her neck, ducking inside her hijab.

  She gasped. "Oh… that's—"

  "I want you," I whispered.

  "Noël, I…" Rana squirmed underneath me, obviously torn.

  "I know. We can't," I murmured, and kissed her again. I sat back just a little, straddling her waist, my head just above her chest. "But it doesn't say anything about kissing you."

  Rana smiled at me. "I love you," she whispered. "Thank you for not pushing." Her arms reached out and pulled my face back to hers. "...Don't stop now," she added, biting her lip.

  I was happy to oblige.

  ***

  The next week passed in a blur. I won my next match easily, putting me through to the semi-finals. It made me even more anxious; if I was winning so easily, something had to go wrong. This couldn't go smoothly. If it did, I was sure the Moderator would have some fresh hell waiting for me, the Enforcer ready to deal out a vicious punishment for my hubris.

  In between, I was dueling more randoms from the boards. Rana didn't know. Nobody did, since even Kyla was barely giving me a second glance these days. We still sat near each other at lunch, mostly out of habit, but our conversations were stilted and empty. No more games, no more camaraderie or joy—there was a wall between us, one we built together that couldn't be taken down so easily as my dueling opponents.

  It wasn't even a question anymore—I just won. Every duel, every player, every duelist and every ground. I barely cared anymore. All I wanted was the rush, the sweet taste of victory, Check at my side and my opponents falling at my feet. I took every opportunity that came up. Classes were nothing anymore. Who needed them, with winter break coming up? None of the teachers dared question me if I decided to up and leave.

  I knew it was dangerous. I knew I was probably falling into a deep hole that'd be difficult to climb back out. I didn't care. I just needed the escape. My school life was in shambles, Rana was in pain, Kyla was gone… even the country around us was breaking apart, if the rumors were to be believed. Everything sucked, so why not lose myself in the other world? Better than here, until my wish came true.

  There was an endpoint to it, a finality to the League that would cut everything away. I had a safety net. Everybody knew it: once your wish came true, you didn't play anymore. Dashiell, Howard, Lloyd, the pattern held.

  In the meantime, Rana and I were getting closer. Yeah, we were already in love, but this was different. We'd kissed plenty, but it had been playful and light, the joy of discovering a connection and exploring it. Now we were driven by something else… me in particular. Every night when we went to bed, there was an urgency, an intensity. It might have been December, but the temperature in that room was only rising.

  I couldn't get enough of her, nor she of me.

  Of course there were setbacks. Rana lost her next tournament match on Saturday, knocking her out of the running. It sucked, but at the same time, I was pretty relieved that I wouldn't have to duel her in the finals. I canceled the match I'd scheduled Saturday afternoon, and we spent the whole afternoon on the backyard patio swing talking and cuddling. It didn't seem to hit her nearly as hard as my own losses always did. That said… she did get a penalty, which meant Robin had as well. So much for that theory.

  We texted him later that day, after a bit of debate. An offer to help out, nothing more. I felt like they might intervene if we helped Robin. Rana insisted we try anyway. Robin's penalty seemed innocuous enough, to our relief—all he had to do was walk in the back door of a building and flip a switch. We watched the whole thing happen on Sunday from down the street. Nobody took a second glance at him.

  I checked the news the next day, but nothing stood out. Whatever he'd done, it wasn't obvious. I did find another sickening detail though—the same day Wendy Berdinger's miraculous recovery began, two other similarly-aged kids developed serious conditions. Possibly fatal. I wondered if Dash knew. I'd keep watching, but I had bigger priorities. My next tournament match was Wednesday morning, right in the middle of second period. Two to go.

  Two duels left until my parents came home.

  The semifinal changed the pattern—I struggled hard in that match, even with Rana at my side. It was a showdown of deadly guns and killer women. Check was up against Likki Häyhä, an ice-cold mercenary sniper with magic powers. Check and I took vicious hits as rifle rounds pierced through a howling blizzard she'd summoned as her blitz. Snow pelted through the Korsikov Launch Bay, rocking huge ships in their cradles and slamming against the translucent force field separating us from the void of space. I'd never felt something that strong from a duelist.

  I held on tight. Rana took my shivering hand, and Check steadied herself on my shoulder, and everything was okay again.

  As the blizzard subsided, my opponent looked a bit unsure himself. That was all I needed. Check and I launched into a vicious combo from a single dodge, playing off his uncertain Strike. Likki might be able to move things with her mind and conjure the elements, but Check had the finest technology Seattle could build… and me.

  Check's sword sliced her open, shoulder to hip. Likki collapsed.

  CHECK HAS WON THE DUEL.

  One to go.

  Rana and I leapt up and hugged. A second later, I leaned over and pulled Check into it. Her eyes widened, but soon enough, she'd wrapped her arms around the both of us. It was perfect. I wished she could come back with us—not together or anything, just… she'd done so much for me, I wanted her to have a proper life too. If she'd ever had one. Jury was still out on Check's past.

  An hour after the match ended, I got a text.

  The Moderator: My dear Noël! I'm so happy to see you've made it all the way to the Finals! This round will be a little different. We shall provide the location and time of the duel as soon as your opponent has been determined. Be assured, it won't conflict with any of your existing engagements. I'm rooting for you, so rest up and prepare yourself! Good luck!

  "They pick?" I asked, still rereading it. "Are they gonna make a big show of it or something?"

  "Yes," said Rana, leaning on my shoulder in the backseat of the car. We were on our way to the Question, since the rest of the group was meeting up. I didn't want to go—my focus was entirely on the finals. I relented though. Rana hadn't seen any of her friends since before Reylon's disappearance. I didn't want to hold her back from that, and she didn't want to go alone. Couldn't blame her there.

  "How so?"

  "The location gets broadcast to every active League member in the region. They're all welcome to attend and spectate. It's how we know all the previous winners had their wishes come true." Rana reached up and adjusted her scarf slightly, as it had begun to slip a little. We might have been making out in the backseat for a while… I just won a match, okay? It set me off a bit. "It's against the rules to reveal them of course, but we all know them. I've only been to one before."

  "Oh, okay," I said. That was better. I could stand spectators as long as they didn't hold a lasting impact on my life. "So one-and-done?"

  "It'll be a full proper match," said Rana. "Three grounds and everything. You never play those. Are you ready for that?"

  "I played a bunch of those with Kyla," I nodded. "Just never in League matches. But I can handle it."

  "I believe in you." She smiled and kissed my cheek, then opened the door. "Shall we?"

  The Question erupted in cheers as we walked in. Jack and Jill, Robin, even Kate had raised mugs to toast us as we walked in. How did they know I made the finals? I didn't tell anyone. Did Rana…? I raised an eyebrow at her. She shrugged. As I looked back, Jack burst out laughing.

  "Come on, girl, we were all rooting for you cute kids."

  "Huh?" I asked stupidly.

  Jill pushed her husband aside, giggling herself. "The moment we saw you, I knew you and Rana were gonna end up together."

  "Oh." My face heated up. Rana seemed to shrink inside her scarf, trying to hide in plain sight. "Well, yeah. We are."

  "Come on, sit down. Drinks on the house," said Kate, gesturing us over to the table. The rest of the place was empty—she'd reserved it for a private party, just for us. "Just this once, before you start getting any ideas."

  "You're all too nice," said Rana, still embarrassed but looking thoroughly pleased with the whole thing. "It just kinda happened."

  "As if!" said Jill. "Come on, Rana seduced you, right?" she added, glaring at me as if I'd lied.

  "Sure, let's go with that," I said.

  The conversation took a turn from there, to my relief. We chatted about non-League things for a while—the latest protests around the city, the rumors of a Cascadian National Council forming, Robin's new haircut (it was pretty bad, and Jill subsequently produced a pair of scissors to improve it dramatically)—anything besides the League. It became obvious pretty quickly that all of them had entered the tournament, and all had been eliminated.

  "And I would've gone far," added Jack, a bit tipsy. He'd been slipping some alcohol into his drink, to Kate's obvious disdain. "Just got bad draws. All bad luck."

  "You'll get 'em next time sweetie," said Jill, gently pushing down his flask.

  "It's okay, Noël's gonna win it all," said Robin, grinning at me.

  "Still in it, then?" asked Jack, looking up. "Good for you, kid. Glad it's somebody who deserves it."

  Do I? I'm not really a great person. I was awful to Kyla. I'm dueling for no reason, inflicting who-knows how many penalties on people, risking life and limb for nothing. I can't stop and I know it.

  Questions for another time. I had a more pressing thought to get out there.

  "Hey," I started. My tone was obvious, and they all followed. The mood dropped from jovial to serious in an instant. "You guys have been doing this for a while, right?"

  "Not me!" said Robin.

  "Yes," said the Marburns, both nodding..

  "Did either of you ever play against Lloyd Strauser?"

  "Lloyd, like… the Lloyd that adopted you?" asked Jack, tilting his head to the side. "Nope. He was in the League?"

  "Wow…" said Jill. "Is that how he got rich?"

  "Nevermind," I muttered. "Forget I asked."

  "You got it!" said Jack, taking another sip of his flask.

  They didn't last much longer than that. Evening was stretching out, and Robin needed to get home. The Marburns gave him a ride, leaving just Rana and I together at the café while Kate cleaned up. Rana wanted to stay a bit longer, and I didn't mind. We watched the cars roll by outside. It was a nice quiet spot, just enough noise from Kate washing dishes in the background to make us feel comfortable talking.

  "I'm scared," I confessed, leaning back into the corner booth, Rana atop me with my arms around her. "What if I… what if I don't win?"

  "You will," said Rana firmly. She squeezed my arm.

  "Okay, but seriously, what if I don't?"

  She shrugged. "Then you get another penalty, and we go work at least one of them off. Or you invite someone to the League."

  "Invite someone else into this nightmare?"

  "Is it really so bad?" Rana glanced up at me. "It's dangerous, but so are a lot of things. At least here, we have an opportunity for something incredible and life-changing. And unlike me or you, they'll be forewarned."

  "There could be more we don't know." I shook my head. "So much more. What if we stop dueling? What about holding onto penalties too long? Or breaking any of the other rules, even by accident? What about… you know, him?" My voice dropped, noticing Kate still in earshot. No need to risk worse by bringing up Reylon.

  "What if a plane crashed into the café right now and landed on us?" Rana sighed. "There are infinite things in the world to worry about, Noël. I'm not saying to forget them all, but sometimes we just have to live our lives."

  "I can answer one of those," said Kate, strolling over to pick up an empty dish from the table. "If you stop dueling, they get pushy. I do one a year and that keeps them off my back. Never let it go far enough to find out what really happens… definitely not gonna find out, either."

  "Thanks," I said, shuddering a bit. As Kate started away, I had a sudden thought. "If you duel just once a year… you've been in this a long time, haven't you?"

  "Hm," said Kate noncommittally.

  "How long, if you don't mind me asking?"

  "What's today?"

  I blinked. "Uhh… Wednesday?"

  "Eight years," said Kate. I fell back stunned. From Rana's sudden stiffness, she felt the same. Eight years of the League? Ignoring our silence, Kate leaned down and put some mugs into the dishwasher. "Lloyd won a tournament too," she added.

  "What?"

  "It was three years ago." Kate shrugged. "Used to pop by here every once in a while, but after the win, never saw him again. You know how that goes. I'm really gonna miss Dash. Best tipper that ever came through this joint. If a new crop of League players doesn't sprout up soon, I'm gonna need to start marketing again."

   Three years ago… he was already rich by then. So what did he wish for?

  "Now get out of here," said Kate, tossing a towel over her shoulder.. "Cute as you guys are, I have an actual private party coming through tonight to pay the bills. Say hi to Lloyd from me."

  ***

  My phone buzzed.

  I opened my eyes to the dead of night. Rana's warm body lay next to me, chest rising and falling in steady time to my own breathing. Despite the excitement slowly building up, I kept everything steady. I didn't want to wake her as I pulled my phone under the covers.

  It didn't matter.

  "Noël?" she murmured into her pillow. "What time is it?"

  "Two o'clock," I whispered. "I got a text from the Commissioner."

  She rolled over and scooted in close. "Well, go on then," she mumbled, bleary-eyed. "Neither of us are going to sleep until you read it, so just open it already."

  "Right, okay."

  The Commissioner: 12-09 at 1900. Le Guin High School, rear grounds. Arrive no later than 1930 or forfeit.

  The high school? Seriously?

  "Well, at least it's somewhere familiar," said Rana. She closed her eyes again and turned away. She was too tired for any of this. In stark contrast, I could barely lay still. It was only the fear of waking her up again that kept me in bed. I'd rather fight off my restlessness than risk disrupting Rana even a little bit.

  The finals were tomorrow. I'd be dueling tomorrow. No idea who, but did that even matter? They'd be a hard fight, but just another fight. I had Check and Rana at my side. I would win. I had to win.

  It wasn't even a question—neither of us bothered with school that day. Carolyn seemed to sense something was up at breakfast, and didn't even ask. She vanished down the hall after making an excuse. Lloyd looked between the two of us at the table, picking through our pancakes. Rana gulped hers down without much effort, but I was struggling to work up an appetite.

  "Something wrong?" Lloyd finally asked, working up the courage to confront me, if only a little bit.

  "Tournament," I muttered, staring determinedly at Mr. Hauk's delicious—and frustratingly inedible—pancakes. "The final's today."

  "Oh."

  That was it, just three words from Lloyd. He didn't say another, just watched with that same melancholy I knew so well until finally we couldn't take it anymore. I stood up, pancakes half-eaten, and Rana joined me. My feelings about Lloyd were too complicated right now—between the selflessness and the lies, I just couldn't decide whether to hate him or hug him.

  I'd ask my parents. Tonight.

  Rana and I spent the day out in the park. I'd been planning to duel all day, but she'd reminded me where I stood. There wasn't anything else to practice. I knew the game inside and out, and I knew Check as well as I knew myself. My victory would fall entirely on my ability to read my opponent, and that was more about being well-rested than anything else.

  Nothing better for rest than a nap in the forest, wrapped up in a blanket with your head in your girlfriend's lap. Trust me, I'm lucky enough to have had it.

  Carolyn drove us over to the school at six-thirty. I didn't want to get there too early. Call it paranoia, call it just a hatred of school in general these days—the less time spent there, the better. She didn't have a clue why we were there, and I didn't volunteer anything either. I'd explain everything if I could, you know I would, but the League said I couldn't. I had to do this alone.

  Well… almost alone.

  As we got out of the car, a path lit up on the ground. Ethereal lights illuminated the way forward, a road that only we could see. Rana and I followed it around the school to the back. With every step arm-in-arm, the knot in my stomach pulled a little bit tighter. A growing sense of dread, some unknown clock ticking away the seconds until the rug would get pulled out from under my feet. I knew where we were going, and somehow, I knew exactly what waited at the end.

  Who waited at the end.

  I'd always known the League wouldn't make it easy. I just never guessed the method they'd use. It was simple—why break the rules when you can break your players, all without lifting a finger? They had me. The one person I'd had, before all of this, before the League and the wishes, assassins and superheroes, spaceships and nightmare fuel.

  The path led me right into the wooded clearing. A small crowd of spectators waited—some hooded, some masked, others just dressed casually and seated on elegant bleachers conjured for the event. All of them were faceless to me. In the center, a table grew out of the ground like a misshapen tree, except that it looked perfectly natural. Cards had already been laid out, beautiful versions of each deck with only the duelist slot open on the board. One spot for Check, one for hers.

  I walked up and took my seat. Another chair grew in fast-forward beside mine as Rana joined me. No such chair for my opponent though. She'd always been alone.

  "About time, grasshopper."