Chapter 1: My new family and the all the reasons why I won't like them

That darkness part is actually starting to get on my nerves. Seriously, why does it take so long.  Not that I can judge the passage of time with any reliable precision. But still it takes much too long! Why is it suddenly so cold? I feel numb and cold, and… blind?

It’s not dark anymore but when it was at least I understood what was going on. Now the darkness has been replaced with blinding light. Wait, not just that… everything is also blurry as hell. Oh, right… I’m an infant now. I should have expected something like that – blurry vision, bright light, silhouettes of grownups all around me.

I guess the main attraction – my birth – is already over. In the very least I didn’t have to experience my new mother's vagina from the inside. That would have been disturbing. I think there’s a conversation going on but I can’t make any sense of it. And not just because it’s in a foreign language… I also can’t clearly hear. I hope it’s only temporary.

Darkness… again. Probably the owner of that body didn’t like it here, or wherever he went when I was in charge, and threw me out.

Right now I should probably feel something like ‘yay, I’m not dead and I’m in a fantasy world’. Instead I can only think about various ways in which I’m going to mutilate that FUCKING BASTARD whenever I’ll have an occasion to do it. I’m going to TEAR HIS EYES OUT and feed him with them. If he has any eyes.

Wrrr, it’s so frustrating to be powerless. For now I’m just gonna plan a painful end... for a being that is most likely much, much stronger than I will ever be.... What was he? A demon? A god? Yet to find out I guess. No! Such thinking will get me nowhere! I’ll definitely kill him in a most painful way imaginable even it it’s the last thing I’ll ever do!

Now, back to my present situation. I hope it won’t take too long till the next time I’m gonna get in charge. As I said before this darkness is annoying. Although this time it’s not exactly pure darkness. There are some barely visible lighter spots. And they change shape rather fast. I’m focusing as hard as I can and trying to make sense of them but it’s hopeless.

Or so i thought. There seems to be some sounds in the background. They remind me of static noises on the radio, but i can tell that there’s clearly more than one. Like… a song… sang in a very high pitched voice… on the other side of a wall… very, very fast song?

Could it be that I’m experiencing sights and sounds from my host’s point of view, but somehow distorted… and accelerated? Because if this reminds me of something I’d say it’s like watching a movie on fast forward. If that is the case then those next five years might not take too long. I mean, it’s quite the pace I’m seeing here.

Too bad I can’t make any sense of those images. I don’t know why though… My host’s eyes and ears should function normally right? I know it wasn’t as bad even right after our birth. Maybe that’s just because the connection between me and the body is still weak.

Time passes and I’m starting to feel like it takes longer than when that bastard of a shapeshifting black mud put me here in the first place. And finally something’s happening! The vision before me begins to take colors and grows till there’s no darkness left. The same goes for sound - distortions and static fades away and I can hear music, and voices.

I’m in a spacious room. Stone walls, high glass windows, crimson carpets and drapes - you know that style? Seems like it’s some kind of meeting or family gathering going on right now. There are four parallel tables with wealthy looking people standing on both sides of each and one longer table perpendicular to them with chairs only on one side.

Seems like I just entered, or rather the person holding me just did. She’s a woman so... my mother maybe? We’re heading to the longer table and everyone are looking at us. Now that I think about it, even though they all look human… their hair, which I thought were simply black, are in a peculiar dark bluish shade of black… or rather very dark shade of blue? Same goes with their eyes but with lighter shades of blue. Only a few people don't have those traits, so most likely they are outsiders married to the family.

Anyway, we’re standing beside the table apparently waiting for something and everyone’s focus shifts to the big open doors carved with floral motifs. An old man enters through them… He’s tall and walks with confidence. His hair is partially grey, and his high forehead suggest that he’s slowly balding but something in his cold blue eyes gives him a very intimidating look.

He comes to the chair in the middle of our table and right before sitting barks few short words. I guess it was an order to start the feast because few seconds later servant-looking men and women - some of which had animal ears and fur on their hands and faces - brought big plates with various drinks and dishes.

Seriously? Beastmen? Cliche, it’s just... so damn cliche! At least there are as many humans among them so it’s not the terribly unoriginal setting where humans oppress non-humans. Everyone seems equally unfortunate to serve this purely human family. Although... each and every one of them is wearing identical metal collar. I know this family was supposed to be bad but I certainly didn’t expect to see so many slaves.

Their numbers gives me pretty good idea about what business my family dwells in… I just hope I’m wrong about it. But I remember that black bastard words about my host being a part of a “bad family”.

Shortly after that, while everyone sit down and starts to eat, servants line up along the walls most likely to be ready to serve if needed. Some of them steal a glance or two at the food on the tables with visible hunger in their eyes. All the while family members are happily eating, without even noticing that hunger. I doubt they even noticed the slaves at all - for them they must seem more like furniture.

I notice a certain trend in everyone’s behavior. From time to time two people start to whisper, one of them points in my general direction, the other seems to be a bit surprised, and after some more whispers they resume eating. And after a few seconds the same thing happens somewhere else. Even that greying baldy stole a few glances at me and each time something in his face was giving me the idea that he’s surprised.

A few minutes later I finally understand what’s happening. I remember what that black bastard told me - that my unwilling host will be mentally impaired or something. So that’s what they’re talking about? That’s the shocking news everyone must know? I guess that if my host mental problems were in some way visible, the current normal me in their eyes must be completely different from their expectations.

Judging by the arrangement of tables I belong to the most important part of this family, so things like my host acting in a way that suggest any disability must have been a big news. And the fact that right now I behave like a normal infant is something equally surprising. I can guess that at least few of them are wondering if the gossip about me was in fact nothing more, maybe even intentionally forged as a part of some internal power struggle within the family.

I can’t help but wonder what sort of mental problems my host have. Maybe some form of autism? That would explain why I got control when he suddenly was in front of so many unknown people. And why my calm behavior was so surprising to everyone.

Anyway, some time passed rather uneventful, everyone was eating and… gossiping. At least I think they were because I can’t understand a word they’re saying. Didn’t that black bastard put me into this body so I won’t have to learn the language? I know that my host is still an infant… and because of that can’t speak or understand anything yet, but how much longer do I have to wait for it?

And now back to the present, something is happening at our table. Firstly I should mention who’s sitting at it right? So, in the middle is that greying baldy and from what happened in the beginning of the feast I think he’s some kind of patriarch or family head. On both his sides are - judging from similarities in their looks - his sons. The one on the right is probably my father since the woman… who despite eating is still holding me… is most likely my mother and is sitting beside him. And that would make the man, woman and boy on the left side from baldy respectively my uncle, aunt and cousin.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

I didn’t mention it earlier because I was busy with other insights but the atmosphere at our table was heavy from the start. Women were silent that entire time and two brothers were constantly trying to entertain their father. Now it seems like he asked them for something because they practically threw themselves on the table to reach the saltshaker. My father lost that pissing contest and his brother were the one to pass the trophy to the baldy… who seemingly didn’t notice any commotion.

Judging from everyone else’s behavior - or rather lack of change in it - what just happened is seen as normal. It still takes me a few seconds to guess why. The patriarch is my grandfather and most likely a head of this family/clan/whatever else it is. And right now two of his sons desperately fight for his attention just to make sure he will choose one of them as his successor. I pretty much keep my finger crossed for my father - his victory in that struggle will be highly beneficial for me in the future. More money, more influence, more of everything.

I’m still unsure if I want to do the “mission” I received from that bastard. I postpone the decision until I’ll know more about this world. Now I am just observing.

It takes me about twenty minutes to gain another valuable piece of intel - my family doesn’t consist of aristocrats. Though they are pretty damn wealthy - that’s for sure - so merchants, perhaps? Most likely slave merchants, as I mentioned earlier. Two family members sitting at one of the tables carry swords and give more noble-like feeling (or it’s just arrogance - hard to guess) with the older one having brown hair instead of very dark shade of blue. By his side sits a much more family-like woman, so… poor aristocrat that was forced to marry into wealthy merchant family for money. I might be going too far in my guesses but this theory looks plausible enough.

Suddenly there’s an uproar at the aristocrats table. The older noble’s standing and shouting at someone at the next table, who’s seemingly trying to apologise or explain. Aristocrat unsheathes his sword and points it at the… offender, I guess… all the while the younger noble offers his own blade to the unarmed target of his father’s rage. The feast has been going on for a while now, so everyone is drunk or almost drunk, but man staring at a nearly meter of sharp steel is suddenly sober. Out of fear, or simply panicking, he refuses offered sword and starts speaking in a high pitched voice while desperately gesticulating at a nearby slave.

Everyone’s attention is already drawn to the angry noble and his squeaking adversary whose situation is getting worse and worse. Especially after pointing at a slave… because now not only the older noble looks like having some sort of stroke but also his son join in the shouting and points his own sword at the unfortunate man.

As much as I can understand from that situation, and once again all I can do is guessing, the squeaking man somehow offended that old aristocrat and was angrily challenged for a duel or some local equivalent. That’s why the young noble was offering him a sword. But the offender panicked and tried to blame the slave? No, it’s more like he demanded that the slave should fight instead of him? Anyway that wasn’t received well as now both aristocrats are pissed. Obviously I never saw anyone fighting like that for real so maybe now’s gonna be my chance to see some bloodshed?

That possibility however is ruined by my mother who, after exchanging a few words with my father, takes me out of the room. Immediately after the door closes behind us and we’re alone in a hallway I feel pressure in the back of my head. But before I can react to it I’m already back in the darkness. Although this time the vibe here is somewhat different.

First of all, distortions of pictures and sounds are less annoying. I can more or less see and hear what’s going on around my host. As I said before, that probably depends on my link with the body which after the last ‘possession’ definitely grew a bit stronger.

Suddenly, I hear a loud ping.

Well, if you aren’t a smart little bastard :D Yup, you hit the nail with that idea about slave trading.

“Well, guess who that might be. And emoticons? Seriously? Well, I can’t imagine Nazi or Lawyer using them, so that leaves me a single possibility…”

Aye, it’s me, your friendly murderous psychopath Jester! :] I just decided to pay you a visit, since because of Nazi I didn’t have time to fill you in about some small, yet important details. :/ You better focus on that, as it’s most likely our last conversation in at least ten to twenty years.

And now he is even using the names I gave him… well whatever. “Let’s hear… or read it.”

As you already noticed your family is full of bad, very bad people :C Well, maybe not literally full but all key members are... uhm... corrupted? Not in some crazy magical way mind you, just too much money, too much power - shit like that :P And yes, they deal in slaves. This collars you saw earlier were actually magical, and quite ingenious if I might add. Inducing pain as an automatic response to rejection of orders, ability to monitor the location of all collared slaves by their owner, et cetera, et cetera. So it would be quite easy for you to gain some great monster girl harem! Yay you :D

“… I didn’t come here to get a monster girl harem, you know? Especially not when they can’t refuse you, it’s pretty sick. Just like FUCKING ABDUCTION!”

Awwwww :C Don’t be so angry. No, I changed my mind! BE ANGRY! }:-> Corrupting people with strong morality is soooo much more entertaining.

“Well… fuck you. Anything else you want to tell me?”

Yeah, actually yes. :| It’s about magic you see. I’m here to inform you that when it’s about natural ability towards magic yours is…. ZERO :D

“Just fucking great…”

Nah, don’t worry :D I’ve already thought about a solution. So, whenever you’ll think you’re ready - take a blade, find a virgin…

“… seriously?”

Nope, just kidding :D Get some legit fighting skills and pretty high position in your family (you know, money is everything!) by sixteenth birthday. Around that time you’ll receive instructions about a way to start learning magic. :) It’ll require visiting some nasty and potentially deadly places. I know it doesn’t make much sense yet... But hey, what fun is there in making sense :P Though I doubt you will avoid killing people for that.

“Great. I will try to do it. Anything else?”

Ah, actually yes. Be so kind and don’t mention my existence to anyone :P For now it’s a no no. When RPG elements fully activate you will be able to extend them to anyone you deem worthy (your harem, your harem! }:->) and after being blessed they won’t be able to talk to anyone about us without our acceptance, so it won’t be a problem, but hearing voices in your head isn’t something good even in a wizard’s world ;_;.

“Wait, was that a quotation from… nevermind, I’m not sure about that. Wait, was there a plural form there?”

Well, I most likely butchered it anyway :C And yup, plural form. If you meet the others, give them my regards :D. I’m not sure if there’s anything I forgot to tell you, so if I’ll remember it, I’ll let you know D: So, have fun, and kill something nice for me :D Bye bye!

“...”