Hello. I’m dead. You may be wondering how I got here, but that’s not important. I was an avid gamer, so I decided to add a little nerdy twist to my tombstone. On it, it said “Game Over. Continue?” and there was a slot for a coin. Pretty funny, I know, but I never actually expected anyone to put a coin in there. Anyway, so on August 6th, 2019, someone actually put a coin in the slot. As soon as that happened, I woke up.
“What’s going on?” I thought to myself as I looked around. It was pitch black, as expected of the inside of a coffin. It was also filled with soil. Normally, you wouldn’t expect this, but the Mythbusters did a test, and when you’re 6 feet under in a coffin, dirt seeps in. So for the next few days, I tried clearing soil out of the way. I only managed to get the upper half of the coffin cleared. Next, I broke through the lid of the coffin. That took me another day.
Afterwards, I started crawling up through the dirt. That only took me half an hour, as there was the empty area in the coffin for the soil to go to. I almost reached the surface, then I hit the tombstone. I thought to myself “Seriously? I just had to hit my head on the tombstone” before lifting the tombstone up and crawling out. Some people were driving through the graveyard, and, of course, they screamed in shock. I think one of them fainted, but that’s beside the point.
After clearing the soil out of my skull, which was really annoying by the way. Have you ever tried to get something out of a place that you can’t see? It’s really annoying, especially when it’s dirt or sand. Anyway, as I was saying, after clearing my skull, I walked to the local Games+ store. Lucky for me, it was right outside the cemetery. I waved and tried to say “Hey Mike how’s it going?” but all that came out were grunts. Mike got scared, as expected, then I got a piece of paper and a pen and wrote “It’s me, Dan. Remember me? I died”
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“Wait Dan? How are you here?” he asked, for obvious reasons. I just shrugged and pointed to a door that said “Staff Only”. We used to play video games after hours when I was still alive. He pointed at the clock and shook his head. It was only 3:15PM and the store closed at 9PM except for when there were big releases, and in those cases they closed at 1AM.
I wrote on the paper “No I don’t want to play games yet; I need a place to hide so that people don’t find me” and he rolled his eyes. Typical Mike. Anyway, he led me through and hid me in some cardboard boxes. I would tell you what happened between then and closing, but nothing happened.
After the store closed, he got me out of the boxes and we started playing some new games. I instantly gravitated towards the Nintendo Switch, because I had died in early 2016 and the Switch was released on the 3rd of March 2017. We first played some Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, to just see how good I was at gaming. I smashed Mike in every race, seeing as how I was one of the best Mario Kart 8 players when I was still alive. We next played some Puyo Puyo Tetris, and I was not used to the new mechanics, but I still did pretty well. After a few other matches in a few other random games, I saw a game that really piqued my interest. It was called “Super Neptunia RPG” and when I put it in to the Switch, I was surprised at how good it was. I ended up playing the entire night, and when Mike came back the next day, I had 100% completion on a few games. He quickly erased the save data from those games, because they were supposed to be sold, and then a car appeared out the front.