It turns out it had a news reporter in there, because there were reports of a skeleton appearing. I went into the car and conducted an impromptu interview. I managed to reteach myself how to talk by the time we got to the news studio, so that was fortunate. There was a very long interview after I sat down in a chair, and it had some very good questions in it, so I won’t leave that part out of this short autobiography.
“Breaking news! Yesterday a skeleton was seen digging itself out of a grave, and he’s here today with us for an interview. So, mister skeleton”
“Please, call me Dan” I quickly interrupted
“So, Dan, when did you wake up as a skeleton?”
“Well it all started when I died. I had on my will somewhere that it would say ‘Game Over. Continue?’ on the tombstone, and there would be a slot for a coin underneath that text. Pretty nerdy, right? Anyway, I believe on the 6th someone put a coin in it, and that’s when I woke up.”
“Our reports say that you dug yourself out of the grave yesterday, the 10th. Is this information wrong?”
“No, not at all. For the first few days I was just trying to clear some room in the coffin.”
“Why?”
“If you watch Mythbusters, you would know, but for those who don’t, here’s the explanation. When a coffin is 6 feet under, dirt seeps in to it.”
“And after you cleared some room in the coffin?”
“First I had to break through the lid of the coffin. That took a day. Afterwards, I slowly dug up, which was a lot faster since there was space below me for the dirt to go. It still took a long time though. Anyway, I hit my head on the tombstone when I was digging myself up, and then I lifted up the tombstone and just got out of the hole. I can’t believe that I dug to underneath the tombstone instead of straight up!”
“And what did you do after you got out of the grave?”
“I accidentally scared a few dozen people before walking in to the Games+ store just across the road from the cemetery. My friend works there, so I decided to greet him. I accidentally scared another half dozen people when I walked in. I waved at him and tried saying hi, but all that came out were grunts. I had to communicate by writing on paper.”
“So what did you do after you met with your friend?”
“I hid in a box until the store closed, then I played games with him for around an hour, then I fully completed a few games overnight. It was really fun; you know? Some of these niche games are really interesting, and I mean really interesting. I won’t go too off topic, but the next day, he came back and wiped the save data from the games we played, before you came in.”
“You couldn’t speak when I met you. Why?”
“Probably had something to do with me being dead for a few years. Anyway, for the viewers who are curious for how I’m talking, I had to reteach myself how to talk on the car ride here.”
“So how do you think you were resurrected? What powers do you think were in play? What do you think will be the consequences of death no longer being permanent?”
“One at a time lady!”
“Sorry.”
“Anyway, to answer the first question, I have no idea how I was resurrected. Maybe a god just decided to resurrect me for fun, to see how people would react. I’m not religious though, so I would have no idea which god would have resurrected me, and even less of an idea for what their ulterior motives were for resurrecting me.”
Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
“But you said ‘maybe a god just decided to resurrect me for fun’”
“I said maybe. I have no clue why or even how I was resurrected, but now that I’m here, I won’t die again!”
“While you answered my question, you also answered my next question”
“I know right, smart of me. Knocking two questions out at the same time.”
“The next question. What do you think will be the consequences of death no longer being permanent?”
“You won’t like me when I get philosophical.”
“The viewers want to know.”
“Fine I’ll answer. Well first off, since we have no way of knowing how I was resurrected, we wouldn’t be able to reproduce the effects. Secondly, if it was somehow found how I was resurrected, I’m sure the world would go into anarchy from everyone trying to resurrect whoever they wanted. Nazis would resurrect Hitler, historians would resurrect Tutankhamun, Napoleon Bonaparte, Genghis Khan et cetera. Basically the world would be a mess. But I’m pretty sure there would be some kind of law against resurrection, or a hefty price tag at the very least.”
“Very interesting. Please, continue.”
“Thirdly, we would have to teach the children why resurrecting people is a bad idea under most circumstances. I mean, if everyone was resurrected, then we would quickly hit the population limit of the world, and there would only be about 11 billion people left. Also, people who were resurrected would think we were magic or something and worship us, until we told them how we did everything with the power of technology, then they would probably get angry at us for tricking them even though we didn’t try to trick them, and then that would mean that a lot of people would be murdered. Technology would go back at least 50 years from those murders probably. Plus, the future people would not know of the importance and values of life and death because we could just resurrect anyone.”
“Very, very interesting. You are a strange one”
“I’m a skeleton”
“That is true”
“OK what’s the next question?”
“The last question for the interview. How can you even stand or even have a consciousness?”
“I don’t know. Ask someone who knows, oh wait there isn’t anyone who knows. Anyway, I would probably say it has something to do with how I was resurrected.”
“That would make sense”
“Also it’s really great because now I don’t need to eat, drink, go to the toilet, stretch, sleep or anything like that. It’ll really cut down the expenses”
“That is true. Thanks for joining us for this interview”
“No problem. It’s fun being in a news studio”
That was the interview. Nowadays I just work at Games+ with Mike and play video games. I actually have a really good job since I don’t need any breaks and can work from opening to closing every day, meaning that I get a massive pay check from an increased pay and much longer working hours. It’s really fun being undead, now that I think about it.