It was just one disaster after another.

First, Hannah drove with Ben to pick up the kids in the school-issued van, and the little brats wouldn't stop poking fun at him for bringing his gIrLfRiEnD. Even Jeff joined in on the juvenile fun when he saw how effective it was to tease the councilman on the topic. This continued for the forty-minute drive to the park where Capture-the-flag was going to be held, and Jeff finally directed the kid's attention to the upcoming competition.

Ben had to distance himself from the children before he killed one of them, so he made an excuse about the bathroom and left. While heading over to the disgusting, never-cleaned park lavatories, he noticed the other team was a disaster in itself. They all looked to be snot-nosed middle schoolers with learning disabilities. He crossed his fingers and prayed one of them had some overpowering ability, like turning themselves non-corporeal.

No such luck, and the first round ended with one of the other team wetting themselves. Oddly enough, there were a few kids on the sidelines cheering for mentally handicapped, and one even had pom-poms. His mom seemed embarrassed about it, but not enough to stop him.

"That's strange," Ben said aloud when something about the mom picked at the corner of his brain.

"What is it?" Hannah asked, then she distractedly shouted, "KEEP YOUR FEET UP STANLEY! THAT KID'S GOT GRASS POWERS!"

"I swear I've seen that woman before," Ben pointed to the cheerleader's mother.

The woman had red hair, clearly dyed, bright red lipstick, wore leather from her shoes to a choker around her neck, and carried herself like the punk mom who listens to rock on maximum volume.

"The cougar? Do you think it's someone you met travelling abroad?"

The sudden realization of where he recognized her, as well as her eyes suddenly tracking down and locking gazes with him, was the next disaster.

"Probably," Ben said, but his expression communicated he was slightly panicked.

"What, you never expected to meet someone from your travels in normal life?"

"It's very rare that I stopped travelling, I didn't think anyone else would."

"Didn't you wear a mask the whole time? She's not going to recognize you!"

"There may have been a few individuals I had to show my face to...."

Right then, a scream from the field caught everyone's attention as Gary got up off of a skinny kid with an awkwardly bent forearm. The large boy was apologizing a lot, saying that his feet were caught in grass, but an ambulance was still called and the game was cancelled due to injury.

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"Howdy!" came a dreaded voice as Ben tried to cross the parking lot in peace. "Didn't think you were going to get away from me that easy, didja?"

The councilman turned around and saw the red-headed mother staring salaciously at him.

Ben acted confused, pointing to himself as if to ask if she had gotten the right person.

"Don't play dumb with me, cowboy," she flirted in a southern drawl, "I'd never forget a face as handsome as yours."

Ben wanted to back out of the conversation as much as humanly possible, and considered hitting her with a neural toxin to get away, but he knew her personality wouldn't be so easy to get rid of. He had to play along, for now.

"That's right! My goodness how long has it been?! What's your nickname nowadays?"

"Folks call me Sue, now's'about. How 'bout you, slugger?"

"Oh, most people call me 'Ben'. What've you been up to recently?"

"Oh, I've been settling down, planting roots, started a little home remodeling business with m'hubby."

"You're married?" Ben genuinely asked. "You never seemed like the type."

"What's that supposed to mean," Sue demanded.

"Well- I mean- there's- you know-"

"HA! I'm just pulling your leg, corn-dog! I know what I used to be like!"

Sue ruffled her own hair and softly admitted, "I just... found someone right for me."

"And how was that?"

"Babybell!" came a shout from across the parking lot. "We've got the orthodontist in an hour."

A fellow who radiated 'dad-energy' started walking across the gravel pit tucked in a nice cardigan and wearing a team hat. He had the beginnings of a beer gut and a little muscle left over from his days as a single man.

"Who's your friend?" the guy asked, holding a hand out to shake.

"A guy from my wilder years," Sue said, snuggling into her man's arm.

Ben watched with his spacial awareness as the man's heart skipped a beat and his sweat glands activated suddenly.

'That must be there codeword for her villainy career,' Ben guessed as he gently shook the shivering man's hands.

"Benjamin Hersh, local village council, it's a pleasure to meet you," he said in his best business voice. "I need to get going, but, hey, if you guys want to catch up and reminisce, give me a call."

The reformed villain handed the husband a business card and smiled his way into the van where more jokes about his relationship status were accruing. The couple watched the van drive off as they got into their own car where their son was busy playing a handheld game with headphones in.

"Who actually was that?" the husband whispered cautiously.

"Do you remember how I told you there were some people who, if they ever came after me, we'd have to drop everything and move? He's at the top of that list."

"Should we start packing?"

"Well, that's the weird thing," Sue said as she looked after the kids van. "He was the coldest sonuva bitch there was, he buried a man alive because the dude was distracting, but... now he's like... me. I think he actually got away from being... wild."

"So... does that mean you want to call him?" the husband asked while waving the business card in the air.

"Maybe later," Sue slumped, "but you should probably get rid of that. He's got a habit of bugging things. It's probably a GPS."

A soft buzz from her pocket made Sue pull out her phone where a text from a random number read, "It's actually a cell jacker. We need to talk. Find a day, get a babysitter, and come over."

Sue showed the phone to her husband, who said, "Oh, that's fucked."

Then he received a text which read, "It's smart. Make sure you keep this a secret."