"What do you think you're doing?" Ben demanded.
Hannah looked up in a mix of fear and confusion.
"Whut?" she asked, her mouth full of food.
"I was saving that tilapia for Friday!" Ben shouted at his unwanted housemate. "I was going to make some stir fry! Stir Fryday!"
"Oh, sorry," Hannah apologized, swallowing some more of the fish, "I'll go get some more at the store."
"You think I go to the grocery store!?" an enraged Ben shouted. "That tilapia was caught fresh last week on the Nile! The rice from rice fields in Cambodia, I picked the soy beans and made the soy sauce... GAH! Why do you keep inviting yourself over?!"
"Am I not welcome?" Hannah teased.
"You're about to be seriously unwelcome if you don't start telling me before you come over," Ben threatened.
"Oh, come on," Hannah puffed, "don't you need to keep an eye on me now that I know your secret?"
"I already microchip-... I already cleaned up your house! It's as perfectly safe to live there as it is here!"
"But that place has so many bad memories!" Hannah whined like a sulky teenager. "Can't I just live here?"
"Not if you keep trying to sleep with me," Ben shouted, maintaining eye contact despite the partially closed, loosely tied, bath robe making a v-neck that went down to her knees. "I'm about to kick you out if you don't straighten up your act!"
"Oooh," Hannah moaned, "that Daddy talk really does fit you."
Ben could tell that she wasn't bluffing, being able to see her anatomy down to the molecular level. And somehow, it actually was starting to mess with his head having a vixen strut her stuff like a prostitute looking for a payday.
However, if there was one thing that put gravel in his gonads, it was being unable to think clearly.
Without another word, Ben marched over to Hannah and grabbed the neck of her back robe. He pulled her back so that she tipped over in her chair, then screamed a little when she tipped past the point of no return and fell onto the floor. Ben caught one end of the belt while she was falling and went down on her to grab the other. With both ends, he pulls the belt closed around her waist and tied it as tight as his anger allowed. Once it was triple knotted using the two tightest knots in a sandwich, he grabbed the belt and dragged her to the front door.
Ben unceremoniously opened the door with his foot and hammer tossed the pleasingly revealing Hannah to the front curb. She yelped in surprise as she caught air, then yelped in pain when her knee banged against the sidewalk.
"Hey, that was-" Hannah shouted before the door was loudly slammed shut behind her.
"Idet, initiate phase protocol," Ben ordered.
"Are you sure?" Idet asked.
"Just do it! God, why are people so damned individualist!"
From the window, Hannah marched back up to the house to hammer on the door until she was let back in. But when she was about to step onto the porch with fist raised, she disappeared into a wall of ambient light and reappeared in Ben's backyard.
"What the fuck?" she mumbled to herself, approaching Ben's house more cautiously this time. She put her hand out to gauge where the invisible barrier was, until her fingertips disappeared with a wild, tingling sensation.
"It's a tesseract home defense system with a mystic illusion cast to keep my house in view," Ben shouted happily from within the barrier. "You're never getting back in unless I let you, and I won't! Now go away!"
"You're an asshole!" Hannah shouted, pulling the robe closed now that she was actually exposed. "At least give me back my clothes!"
"Are you gonna call me before you come over next time?"
"You can't keep me out forever!" Hannah shouted. "You'll have to leave sometime! And I'll get in! GAH!"
A harsh shock like a taser to the neck almost brought the intern to her knees. She put her hand on the area and tried to feel what had zapped her, but there wasn't even a mark from whatever happened.
"What the hell was that?" she mumbled, looking around for whatever was shooting pain at her.
"Insurance," Bens voice emitted from his facsimile house as a pile of clothes were shotgunned directly into her face. "Now go home!"
Hannah shouted more obscenities as she collected her clothes from the backyard, slipping a few on and bundling the others with the bath robe. Ben was by the fridge, looking at the ingredients he had left and trying to figure out what he could replace the tilapia with on short notice. He had some pork from a Stymphalian hind, a peacock carcass, and a meat cut from an animal not native to earth that looked like a kangaroo-sized frog.
"If I flash fry the peacock, it'll probably do well on top of the stir-fry, but that means I need vegetable replacements for the stir-fry filling...."
Ben considered just ordering some, when he remembered the grocery store comment he made earlier and wondered about the last time he'd actually been in a regular store.
"Is Hannah still outside?" Ben asked.
"No," Idet confirmed.
"Good, then I'm going shopping."
"Where?"
"I... think... there's a local grocer's on... Southern Rd?" he guessed.
"1754 Southern Rd, you are correct," Idet confirmed. "But why are you doing this? Is the food you have not enough?"
"I was just thinking, if I'm going to become mayor, then I need to be a man of the people," Ben explained. "And the most natural place to talk and reminisce is at local shopping centers. Name recognition, that's my goal. I should make shirts with my name on them. Idet, make three shirt designs for maximum personal appeal and minimal costs."
Ben exited his house with a short shopping list and drove the familiar roads to a large house that called itself a grocery store. He parked and went in and felt immediately like he was in the country when he saw the stalls and food basking openly in the sunlight. There were people milling about, checking the fruits and vegetables and trying to get the best bang for their buck.
As Ben wandered the stalls, he was surprised at how cheap the food was. He'd never gone to one of these open markets because, if he wanted fresh food, he'd just take it. But the prices were reasonable for how fresh the food actually was, at least for most of it. His dimensional sight was able to see the odd virus and insect in some of the bad food, but the rest were exceptionally fresh and lacked the waxes and preservatives that most supermarket foods had. There was even a butcher stall that had cuts of beef and eggs that lacked any sort of latent salmonella or food coloring.
That's when Ben noticed a familiar face, and not how he had expected.
Mr. Ulandy, fellow city councilman, was standing behind a cart full of apples and pears, along with jars of preserves and juice, respectively.
"Benjamin!" the old coot shouted once they'd noticed each other. "Good to see you out and about!"
"I felt like the weather was good enough to justify a little excursion," Ben greeted, "and I've been wanting to come here for a while."
"Then you're in luck! Now that it's warmed up enough, the market's gonna be open every Thursday that's above sixty and sunny."
"I didn't know you farmed apples," Ben said, checking the fruit for their freshness.
"Ah, my family owned the orchard over on Maple," the ancient man stated while scratching his chin. "We don't really need the income, but I could always use the exercise. Cheapest apples you're ever gonna see, 'cause I sell'em at cost."
"That's amazing," Ben said when he noticed the pulpy apple-juice starting to ferment. "The cider isn't pasteurized?"
"Nope. Keeps it fresh and a little sour. Try some, on me."
"I'll definitely take that offer," Ben said, picking the juice that had the cleanest fermentation. "Since I'm talking to a stall veteran, what's the best purchase around here?"
Mr. Ulandy chuckled at being called a veteran, then pointed at a portly woman selling tomatoes and said, "You're gonna wanna see Tiff first and ask for her marinara recipe. It's a specialty from her chef father, who ran a successful restaurant on sauce alone. She'll probably discount the tomatoes you buy for it, seeing as how you're going to come back for more anyway. Tell Manny at the herb stall about the recipe and he'll pick the best garlic cloves he's got just for you, but he doesn't discount for anybody. Then you're gonna wanna see Jeb for some meatballs. He's gonna try to high-ball you for whatever he can get, but he'll grind you a pork and beef mix that's worth the price. We don't have anyone that sells pasta, but Jen over by the potatoes has a gnocchi recipe she's been working on. Can't say it's perfect, so have a backup plan, but it completes the meal."
"Nothing you can add?" Ben joked, knowing full well that there were a series of fliers under the cash register.
Sure enough, the fellow councilman pulled out his own applesauce recipe and handed it to Ben.
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"Cinnamon's over with Manny," he added with a cheeky smile.
Ben did his shopping and made sure to strike up every conversation he could to spread his face around. He also picked up celery, leeks, and bean sprouts for his stir-fry filling. When he reviewed the marinara sauce recipe, it was certainly something that looked like a high-end chef had created it for his own palette.
"Who the hell puts lime in marinara?" he judged from the safety of his truck. "And why are there two whole garlic cloves in here? That's extreme."
Still, the stir fry was tomorrow and the groceries he'd picked up were at the peak of their freshness, so he'd figured it was a good idea to experiment with the recipes. He'd follow them first just to get a baseline understanding of what needs fixing, then he'd alter them to his tastes. If he made this recipe his own, and it was good enough to spread around at local functions, it might help to spread his name among function-goers and he'd have an excuse to visit the market more often to talk. If all goes well, they might even put a banner up for his campaign.
When Ben got home and started cooking, he was amazed at what he was seeing and smelling. The slight acidity of the lime was actively melting parts of the crushed garlic and allowing it to spread out more evenly through the sauce. The garlic then carried the lime through the sauce, giving a slightly pickled taste that was titillating with the sweetness of ripe tomatoes. The gnocchi preparation was much more straightforward, and despite the potato-based pasta normally paired with pesto or alfredo, it was the perfect base to add that little more flavor to the marinara.
When Ben finally sat down to eat his creation, Idet hover over his shoulder curiously.
"Something wrong?" Ben asked.
"Where did this recipe come from?" she asked in synthesized curiosity as it glow intensified. "I cannot find such a marinara on the conscious-net."
"Apparently, it's from a local grocer's chef father," Ben said whilst spooning a delicious serving into his mouth. A quick, unexpected moan later, "He's probably in the deceased section, or maybe he's already been reincarnated."
Idet glowed even more brightly, almost making it hard for Ben to keep his eyes open from the reflective glare.
"Tiffany Melandry," Idet stated, "her father was Barachiel Melandry, a chef who once owned a four-star Italian restaurant and served as a money launderer for the Mafia."
"Neat," Ben passed as he dug into the delicious pasta meal.
Idet continued to glow with an intensity reserved for harsh thinking, or...
"Would you like some?" Ben asked finally, and the glow died down.
"Please!"
"Alright, go get your mouth," Ben said, pushing the plate away so he didn't finish off the last portion.
Idet's glowing ball floated off into kitchen and disappeared inside of the island countertop, then a drawer opened as a floating, plastic lower-face returned to the kitchen table. The fake head only had anatomy between the jaw and the nose, lacking even cheeks, but it was enough to link to Idet and allow her taste and smell. The floating mask went down to the plate and started slurping it up like a dog, savoring the taste. The slurping noises were grotesque, but Idet claims it's hard to vocalize with her light while managing other senses.
"This is great!" the conscious light proclaimed once the plate was clean. "The flavor mixture is just right for lasagna or, OH, pizza!"
"That's enough, you foodie," Ben chuckled, then considered what toppings would go best on such a divine pizza.
"I wish Hannah had tried this," Idet mentioned while floating back to the drawer her mouth came from.
Ben sighed, "Are you guilt tripping me?"
"I wouldn't know what you're talking about."
"Yes you do, you little liar. Did Hannah teach you how to manipulate people?"
"...She gave me some tips on men. I'll have to report back to her that they are ineffective against you."
Ben squinted at the floating ball, trying to parse out from her synthesized voice whether or not she was still trying to manipulate him.
"Korrahl," Ben declared, throwing the dish onto the ground so that it shattered. "Sharpen you weapons, for you will need them! Do not call upon your allies, they will not help you! Make peace with your maker, for you will soon meet him! I shall meet you in the arena and we will decide whether Hannah has access to my house through battle!"
"BEN!" Idet shouted. "There's no need to go this far to-"
"The challenge has been issued!" Ben declared. "If you don't meet me in the basement in fifteen minutes, Hannah will be banned from this house permanently!"
The former supervillain marched to the basement door and punched in his code that changed the door, then entered. He went down the stairs, then took the elevator to the bottom floor and started towards the back. He stopped near the center in front of a cardboard box large enough to fit a fake christmas tree. When he opened it, there was a set of futuristic-medieval armor with miniscule thorns around it. He grabbed a sword that looked more like a serrated machete, then placed it aside to put the armor on. Equipping the armor took all the time he had given Idet to prepare, so he headed to the very back where a regular door inlaid into the wall was in a parted sea of boxes.
Ben opened the door and entered a dead world whose sky was a mass of destroyed planets and swarming clouds of brilliant light. A planetary ring could be seen to one side, just barely hidden by the high walls of a freshly destroyed coliseum. The gorgeous vistas were merely a distraction for Ben who was staring straight at a large humanoid mechanicus at the opposite end of the battlefield. It was the same white as Idet's face, and glowed with the same brightness as the machine came to life.
"James," Idet said in synthetic concern, using Ben's birth name, "there's no need for this. We can talk this out."
"The fact that you would use the name of a dead child proves you're still trying to manipulate me. You're horrible at this Idet, so I'm going to teach you a lesson in manipulation. First things first, never let the person you're using find out they're being controlled. If they catch on, you've lost their trust, and I'm sure you're done enough research to know how dangerous that is."
Ben tapped a button on his alien machete and the serrated gaps came to life with a red buzz of hot plasma.
"Come at me, you cowardly bitch!" Ben screamed, then charged forward with his sword near his waist.
Idet put her arms up in a defensive stance to block the machete, but the searing edge cut clean through the metal like a guillotine through paper.
A scream erupted through the coliseum as Ben pulled back, watching Idet's panicked reaction.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BATTLE MECH?!" she screamed distressingly.
"Lesson two in manipulation," Ben said confidently, "plan ahead. I installed pain receptors in your mech weeks ago when I noticed you were getting a little chummy with Hannah. How does it feel, knowing what organics have to go through when we're injured?"
Idet's fighting model suddenly came to life and struck back, throwing a punch with its severed arms. Ben put the blade up to block, and smiled when the droid instantly recoiled before touching it.
"You feel that?" Ben goaded, "That's fear."
"I... hate this!" Idet shouted, throwing another punch that Ben nimbly dodged.
However, his sidestep was right into the path of a shower of dirt the android kicked into his face. It was stupid to try and blind someone with dimensional sight, but Ben knew that Idet knew that, so he remained still while watching what the android would do.
Idet opened the chest plate of her armor where a small caliber missile array was primed and ready to go. Seven of them shot out, but Ben saw his opportunity and threw the machete overhanded while curling into a ball that perfectly closed into an impenetrable ball of metal. The machete hit home, directly into the unfired missiles as the ones which were fired exploded harmlessly around Ben, their power unable to crack his armor.
The android screamed, then the armor's illuminated parts went dark, which Ben took advantage of to rush the robot. He grabbed the laser machete and pulled it out, then used it to decapitate the machine. The head rolled onto the floor, then Ben picked it up and held it aloft.
"Get back here," Ben ordered, and the head lit up slightly.
"I'm sorry!" Idet quickly apologized.
"Why?" Ben scoffed. "Your training to be more human meant you would eventually do something that I had to take action for. Which leads me to lesson three of manipulation: Get information on your target before you intervene directly. Putting yourself out there can cause horrible reactions if things don't go your way, and especially because-"
"-you might not need to do anything at all."
Idet's head changed brightness a dozen times, a sign of confusion from the glowing ball.
"I was thinking of renting Hannah the single story house two doors down," Ben answered with a HUGE grin. "Since she's been coming to my house, you've been making enormous progress in your studies, and I've been able to get regular insight on how the townsfolk see me. I've already had to scrap a few ideas for my campaign in two years and seriously downsize the parade float I was gonna buy."
"THEN," Idet yelled, "why did you do all this?!"
"Two reasons," Ben said, juggling the disembodied robot head. "First, all this Hannah business and working with children has been piling up more stress than I'd care to admit. Second,-"
Ben dropped the head and planted his foot on it like the Captain Morgan logo.
"Your growth has potential to be dangerous to me. And I want you to understand in the deepest part of whatever you call your soul that I am not someone you can afford as an enemy."
For the cherry on top, Ben reached under his armor and pressed a button on his left shoulder blade, hidden under the skin. The Idet robot started rapidly changing brightness levels as sensations started to bombard it.
"WHat IS thIS?!" she cried as the voice modulator wavered wildly.
"That's me," Ben said with an evil grin, "every sensation that I'm feeling right now in this uncomfortable armor. See, in order for you to exist as an individual outside of your home dimensions, I had to put up a barrier that kept you safe from inadvertently absorbing all consciousness at once. Right now, you're only feeling me because this space is localized from infinity, but I just DARE you to cross me outside. You'll lose your mind over and over again, until consciousness itself disappears."
Ben pressed the button on his shoulder and turned to leave.
"Does that mean... this fight was meaningless?"
"For you? Pretty much."
"Then I should probably tell you," Idet said, and Ben turned to listen.
Once he was turned, Idet suddenly increased the brightness to the maximum the robot could handle. Ben couldn't close his eyes in time, and his retinas burned in the holy light.
"Revenge!" Idet shouted in a fleeting voice as she left the armor, laughing at her small victory.
"Gah! That bitch!" Ben swore, closing his eyes as tightly as he could. "I have to drive to catch up to Hannah, you idiot! Now I have to wait until I can see again!"
=============================================================================
Hannah sat sulking at the only bar in the village, drinking a Yuengling from the tap. The bartender didn't question anything, he knew enough about her situation from her father's frequent visits, and now that her dad was missing, life was probably much harder. Whatever had caused her to enter the bar and drop a bunch of clothes in a booth at 10 AM was none of his business, as long as she was buying and not crying.
It was already night and the bar was its at the height of business when an irregular face walked in. He shook his shirt dry from a little drizzle that had started recently, then glanced at the clothes pile before heading to the bar.
"Long night?" he asked, causing the buzzed intern to jolt upright.
"Oh, hey," she smiled drunkenly, then frowned. "What are yooou doing here?"
The bartender's ears perked up, and Ben noticed, so he ordered a whiskey neat. This was both his drink of choice, and a quick acknowledgment that he wasn't going to narc on the drinking minor.
"I've had some time to consider and, I think I have a place for you."
Hannah glanced glumly at her boss, who grinned at her.
"I don't suppose there are any strings attached?" Hannah raised an eyebrow.
"Well, it might be a little above your price range, what with your father missing, but I've been thinking you've been an intern for a little too long. Would you like to be my assistant?"
"For real?"
"For real."
Hannah got up off the bar and wrapped her arms around Ben for a nice, big hug. He got a few side-eyes from the regulars who were making sure Hannah was safe, but Ben kept his hands nervously in the air in accordance with his fuddy-duddy persona.
After some drunken conniving, Hannah got into his truck and relaxed in the comfortable seat.
"Hey, I-I've been shrinking," Hannah slurred.
It took a moment to parse out what she said, "What have you been thinking about?"
"What- what is Idet? Is she like, an AI?"
"That's the cover story," Ben coughed, "so if anyone ever sees her, that's what you should tell them."
"But, like, what's she?"
"Idet is a being that consumes excess consciousness. You know how the brain isn't capable of handling all the information we recieve? Well, in the origin of consciousness, there are these symbiotes that consume that excess information as sustenance. They work as a hivemind, but Idet broke off to find me specifically because my power was passing all information everywhere through a simple human brain, bloating these creatures. She eats the excess information that goes through my mind and is the reason I was able to control myself in the first place."
"So, she's an alien?"
"Kinda," Ben said, "Inter-Dimensional Extra-Terrestrial. IDET."
"Ah," Hannah said as her eyes weighed themselves closed.